nagol818

Does anyone know? I am asking about cervical mucus and ovulation. My period ended on May 6th. I always ovulate right after my period. I saw the peak of cervical mucus on May 7th around 5pm....LOTS of it! I had intercourse on May 9th around 9:30pm. Assuming everything else went ok...no other complications....am I pregnant? Do women release the egg into the fallopian tubes DURING the egg white mucus stage or right after? I have been reading different websites about it and I've read both. Does any of you know positively when it happens? How long does it take for the egg to go through the fallopian tubes?

Thanks for the tip. I will pick up the book tomorrow.

Yes, severely depressed....situational depression is another way to put it. Due to his situation it has caused him severe depression. He knows it. He doesn't know how to get out of it and he's been like that for awhile he said. I know how to get him out of it because I just went through it and knowing what his needs are also helps. He IS searching for answers and I have a lot of them. No I'm not a professional but as I said, I just pulled myself out of it without medication. So I guess a part of me just wants to reach out but a part of me is hesitant to do so. As for my daughter, no I don't want him as a father and he knows that...she has one. They were very close friends and it's taken every excuse I can think of for her not to email him because she really, really wants to. I don't know if that would be a good idea though. What do you think?

I just don't get you people. I don't ask for you opinion on his personality, I ask how to get him back! Is it severely depressed or detached???? He didn't act shocked when we ran into each other on the elevator but I SURE DID!!!...I"m not depressed though. I like needy men so that isn't an issue. Why do I have to defend myself. All I asked is how to get him back.

I don't see him as a user. When he lived here he didn't use me. I may have even used him. How am I using my daughter to get to him? She was a very important part of our life and that is a fact. Thanks for the advice but I just don't see it that way. He HAD to move because of his work situation. I can see he that he may have used the other woman though. I don't doubt that one bit. He ran scared from me and THAT is a fact. Plus he is severely depressed. Have you ever been severely depressed? I just was 4 months ago and I don't think I would have responded very differently either...but that is only if he is still depressed.

Short background: Dated a guy for a year and a half. Had a very, very bad breakup 4 months ago and haven't talked to him since(I think he thinks I'm half crazy too as a result of the breakup.) He started seeing someone immediately....probably shortly before we had the very bad situation....took off and moved 2 hours away to her place and is still seeing her but things aren't going so great between them and that doesn't necessarily mean they are breaking up but he was moving out of her condo in 2 days from the day I ran into him, after only living there for 3 months. His idea of giving his "all" in a relationship leads me to believe that his conversation with her regarding him moving out(even thought he didn't tell me this) went something like this, "We probably took things too quickly. I never should have moved in so fast. Maybe we can make this work if we back up a little by me moving out." So he finds a ROOM mate on link removed for $650 per month 4 miles from her condo.(He used to have a 2 bedroom townhouse all his own for $740 plus utilities.) He will probably stay in the relationship to see how things go with him living separate from her. I found this out the night I ran into him(totally unexpected on both of our parts) and ended up spending the night with him(we were both hours from home in the same hotel...fate I guess.) She called 3 times and that is when he started with the nutcase game and kept it up all night sounding urgent about having to move outta there because she'll throw all his stuff out(what little he had anymore because he threw 80% of it away when he moved....I guess he figured he didn't need it anymore because she had everything they needed and they would be together forever???) The night was full of little headgames.....ya know where things could be taken either way kinda stuff....things that could make me believe that he had been thinking about me. The only thing is about the headgames is I can't imagine that he would even CONSIDER screwing me over again after what he did to me. I think it's safe to say I subtly made it clear that I still had feelings for him. I learned through the course of the night that his life is a mess right now.....this girl threatens to throw his stuff out when they fight, he just totaled his car 4 weeks prior and hadn't gotten a new one yet and his money situation wasn't good PLUS I think he feels a lot of guilt for screwing me over and hurting my daughter by taking off like he did. He's stressed and severely depressed. He will be 40 years old in 2 months so I think it's really getting to him that he is 40 and not married. He's someone that NEEDS security. When we were together we were very domesticated....lots of security and stability. He lives in an expensive area so his $92,000 a year doesn't feel like it unlike where I live where it's cheap. I had an idea for him to stay another night up there. He said it might be possible because he had one guy leaving the next day(Tuesday) and he was going to catch a ride with him but he had another guy leaving the day after that(Wednesday) and he could catch a ride with him. His plan was to pack the next night(Tuesday) and move on Wednesday because he had off work. We worked out a plan where I was to call him at 3pm(Tuesday) and he would let me know. In the morning he asked for my cell number and made sure I had his. We run into each other at checkout. He's gazing at me like he just fell in love all over again(more headgames???). We part and at 1:30 I get a 50 second call from him sounding either stressed or tired. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO MY STORY> He says, "Hey listen. I have to head back. I'll give you a call in a day or two once I'm outta there and get situated. It was reeeeally good seeing you. I"m glad your doing better. I'll talk to ya real soon. Take care." That was it. Two weeks and 2 days go by, haven't heard from him so I send him an email. I don't know what to make of his response. My initial thought is that it's a blowoff but if I read into it, it's consistent with his flat, unanimated way he was when I was with him ALL NIGHT AND the email says a heck of a lot. I don't know if he's still depressed or not though. What do all of you think of his response and what should I do now. (Notice that I didn't tell him when exactly I would be in White Plains again.) Don't say no contact because, like I said, he lives 2 hours away now. It's important to remember that this is a man who is going to be 40 very soon which is getting to him AND he doesn't really have security in his life so he will probably feel more needy towards this girl that he is with(although he won't realize his intentions)....he is a little needy anyway and he likes strong women. I can work this situation to my benefit if I know how but I"m stuck. This email happened 1 week and 4 days ago(Thursday morning from my work to his work). I also sent a joke as an attachment with the email. My email: I am just sitting here at work and thought I would drop you a line or two. I think it took me a week to get over the initial shock of seeing you where I did. My heart still jumps when I think about it......blah, blah, blah...(7 more sentences about it.) I was wondering how you are. I hope you are taking good care of yourself. I hope everything went well with the move. How about your car ordeal? Did you get everything worked out there?....blah, blah, blah....(3 more sentences about it.) You didn't tell me to so I hope you don't mind but I told Kimmy(my daughter) that I ran into you. Her eyes lit up. She wants me to take her to play tennis over at your townhouse.......blah, blah, blah....(2 more sentences about it.) I thought it would be a good idea to let you know that I will be working in White Plains again. I think I remember you telling me that you've been up there a number of times so, just in case, I thought I could avoid anymore near heart attacks for either you or me by giving up both a heads up. lol So then, he opens my email in 7 minutes and responds in 1 hour 2 minutes. This is what he says: Hey! Our email system stripped out the attachment. Oh well. Ya, I still laugh about that. Very freaky. lol. Not too much new with me. My move went pretty well, I'm still getting settled, but it's good. Unfortunately I won't be in White Plains until May sometime. I'm in Manhattan next week. Glad to hear you're doing well. Take care. What do I make of this situation, email and what do I do now? I love him and want him back so badly!! I'm pretty sure he is still severely depressed...severely!

It was a freaky bazarre place that I ran into him....hours from where either of us live. He lives two hours away from me now. I learned that his life is a mess right now, he's stressed and severely depressed. I spend the night with him and sometimes he would play little headgames with me. Anyone know the nutcase game? Anyway, I had an idea for him to stay another night up there. He said it might be possible because he had one guy leaving the next day(Tuesday) and he was going to catch a ride with him but he had another guy leaving the day after that(Wednesday) and he could catch a ride with him. His plan was to pack the next night(Tuesday) and move on Wednesday because he had off work. We worked out a plan where I was to call him at 3pm(Tuesday) and he would let me know. In the morning he asked for my cell number and made sure I had his. We run into each other at checkout. He's gazing at me like he just fell in love all over again. We part and at 1:30 I get a 50 second call from him sounding either stressed or tired. He says, "Hey listen. I have to head back. I'll give you a call in a day or two once I'm outta there and get situated. It was reeeeally good seeing you. I"m glad your doing better. I'll talk to ya real soon. Take care." That was it. Two weeks and 2 days go by, haven't heard from him so I send him an email. I don't know what to make of his response. My initial thought is that it's a blowoff but if I read into it, it's consistent with his flat, no expression way he was when I was with him AND it says a lot. I sent him a joke as an attachment with the email. What do all of you think of his response and what should I do now. (Notice that I didn't tell him when exactly I would be in White Plains again.) Don't say no contact because, like I said, he lives 2 hours away now. This email happened 1 week and 2 days ago. My email. I sent it at 10am on a workday: I am just sitting here at work and thought I would drop you a line or two(or 50). I think it took me a week to get over the initial shock of seeing you where I did. My heart still jumps when I think about it......blah, blah, blah...(7 more sentences about it.) I was wondering how you are. I hope you are taking good care of yourself. I hope everything went well with the move. How about your car ordeal? Did you get everything worked out there?....blah, blah, blah....(3 more sentences about it.) You didn't tell me to so I hope you don't mind but I told Kimmy(my daughter) that I ran into you. Her eyes lit up. She wants me to take her to play tennis over at your old townhouse.......blah, blah, blah....(2 more sentences about it.) I thought it would be a good idea to let you know that I will be working in White Plains again. I think I remember you telling me that you've been up there a number of times so, just in case, I thought I could avoid anymore near heart attacks for either you or me by giving up both a heads up. lol So then, he opens my email in 7 minutes and responds in 1 hour 2 minutes. This is what he says: Hey! Our email system stripped out the attachment. Oh well. Ya, I still laugh about that. Very freaky. lol. Not too much new with me. My move went pretty well, I'm still getting settled, but it's good. Unfortunately I won't be in White Plains until May sometime. I'm in Manhattan next week. Glad to hear you're doing well. Take care.

Short background: Dated a guy for a year and a half. Had a very, very bad breakup 4 months ago and haven't talked to him since. He started seeing someone immediately....probably shortly before we had the very bad situation....and he is still seeing her but things aren't going so great between them and that doesn't necessarily mean they are breaking up but he was moving out of her house in 2 days....4 miles away. I ran into him recently(totally unexpected on both of our parts) and ended up spending the night with him. The night was full of little headgames.....ya know where things could be taken either way kinda stuff but I think it's safe to say he knew I still had feelings for him. In the morning he asked for my new cell number(he said he would call me in a day or two once he got situated)and made sure I had his cell but he hasn't called....that was 2 1/2 weeks ago. I don't know what this stupid little part of our conversation means and you need to read into it for the answer...please help me figure it out. I was telling him how I love my job and what's even greater about it is that it's right along the lines of marketing and that I always regretted not getting into marketing in college. He says, "Did you see "What Women Want?" I was like "Bits and pieces of it. Why did you bring that up?" He said, "That movie has been on tv lately and Mel Gibson is in marketing." I was just like, "Oh." THEN HE SAYS, "I don't like to hurt people." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? He doesn't like to hurt people? I didn't see the movie or don't I have to to understand what he meant??? I took it as he is about to hurt someone but WHO??? Me or the other girl????

I have to add though that throughout our bedroom conversation a lot of it was me being hyped about seeing him so unable to sleep and starting conversations while he wanted to go to sleep even though he didn't come out and say it. I don't know if most of that was depression or not. Either it was depression, he is truly not interested in my or he was fearful of leading me on and becoming Miss Stalker(which I would no longer do but I guess he doesn't know that). As for the woman in his life? I don't know how he feels about her. He tends to plow right into women emotionally because he is needy. Remember he WAS running from my situation too. I don't know. How does all of this sound to all of you?

See if any of you can help me figure out what this conversation means that I had with my ex who I want to get back in my life. A little background first: "Jerry" and I dated a year and a half and had a very, very bad breakup back at the beginning of December. And, of course, I did all the crazy stuff so now he thinks I'm psycho. I have a 11 yr old daughter I'll call Kimmy that he just absolutely loved. It's the first time he ever dated someone with a child. He left me for someone else but apparently things aren't so great in paradise. He's the type of person who will give the relationship his "all" so I don't see it being over yet HOWEVER he did move out of her apartment after only living there for 4 months.....3 miles away from her though(I am 100 miles away from him now). Things seem quite bad for him. He is severely depressed due to circumstances probably partially with her but other things too...LOTS of other things...so I don't know if this was a good time for first contact or not....January 22 was the last time I talked to him before now. I ran into him at a hotel far away from where either of us live. After the initial shock of seeing him wore off, he was full of apologies for the way he treated me. I ended up staying the night in his room. He subtly suggested and I jumped at staying. This is where I get confused. Our conversation became a game once we were more comfortable and in bed, before and after sex. Here is some of it. Tell me if you can figure any of this out. It was hard to "remember the good times and laugh" because he was in such severe depression. He barely laughed or even smiled all night. Me: I never thought I would see you again. Didn't you think the same thing? Him No actually(He may have thought I was going to stalk him) Me This is like fate! Do you believe in fate? Him Yes. I will never forget the way we met. Me Oh I know! That was fate too. You can add this one to the list. Me: Remember when you said to me that you were the best thing that ever happened to me? Well you were right. You were. Him Someone who was the best thing that ever happened to you wouldn't say something like that. Me You were being arrogant no doubt. Him I'm sorry I was such a jerk. Him: I'm glad to see that you are doing great. Me I'm not GREAAAAT. I'm doing a lot better though. My job is going really well and I feel better about myself since I lost the 20lbs that I did. Me You've changed. You seem unamused by stupid shit. More outwardly about feelings and less selfish about yours. Him You seem to have changed too. More mature. Me Kimmy is going to be away all of June. What am I going to do a whole month without her?(rhetorical question) Him How is she? Me She's good. Do you ever think about her? Him All the time Him I am so sorry for saying such cruel things to you when we would fight. Me I know you didn't mean it. I took it all with a grain of salt. Him Yeah I guess it was all out of anger. We can both be hot heads. Me How long have you been here in WP? Him For some reason I couldn't find a hotel in NYC this week so I came up on Friday instead of Saturday. Me I was here last night! You mean you were here last night too? Him In my room(which is strange for him Mr social that he can be) So that WAS your car I saw today when we were getting back from work???!! I always get yours and another mixed up. Me Yeah I guess it was then. Me (We were talking about something concerning his situation) I care about you Him I want you to be happy! Me Did you get rid of everything having to do with me? Him No I have the stuff in my blue trunk. Me Blue trunk? I deleted all pictures of us except one. Him I was just looking at pictures of us the other day(I found out a few days later that the reason he was looking at pictures of us is because he used one for his room mates ad when he was trying to move out of chickies place) Me I dated someone for about a month Him What happened? Me I don't know. I always found myself comparing him to you. Him Silence Him I gotta get outta there!!(Talking about chickies place) Me You just moved in. Him I know Me Is this the girl whose door I knocked on? Him Yeah! She's a nutcase(he used to say that about me when he was mad at me too) Me Why Him She's going to throw my stuff out!! Me Well if you ever want to talk just call me. Me Where is all of your stuff/furniture? Him Me Storage(letting him off the hook because really he threw it all away but he doesn't know that I know this) Him Yeah, some of it but my clothes and stuff Me I know once I get back home and get situated all of my feelings for you are going to come rushing back Him You can call me! Him You are wearing the earrings I bought you Me Yeah I know. If I would have known that I was going to run into you I wouldn't have worn them. Just kidding. I like them so I wear them. Him I'm glad you like them. Me Hey, why don't you stay another night? I wasn't planning on it but I DID make arrangement for Kimmy already because I wasn't sure if I would have to stay another day or not for work. Him (A look that said, "that's an idea." Lightbulb kind of look.) Well…..my one guy is leaving tomorrow and I was going to catch a ride with him(because he totaled his car 3 weeks ago) but the other isn't leaving until Wednesday. I was planning on packing tomorrow night (Tuesday). I have off on Wednesday and was going to move then. I still have to rent a truck and then there is getting a hotel. I'll have to see. I'll let you know. What time will you be working until? Me Around 3pm Him Me too. We were planning on cutting out early. I'll let you know if I can swing it or not. Me Ok. I would love you to stay but if you can't I understand. Him Thank you. Me Where is all of your money? You make good money. Him >sigh> Me Well I guess you don't for living in NYC(the place I live is dirt cheap) Him You are right, we DO kiss alike Me I know! I've always said that to you. It's so comfortable to kiss you. So easy. Him I know what you mean. Him There's one thing I've learned through all of this….money does NOT buy happiness!(I think chickie makes good money) Me NO IT DOESN'T!! You didn't know that?? Him Well no. One thing he kept saying throughout the night about 5 times and sometimes out of the blue that I didn't get was, "I don't like to hurt people." WHO?? Me? Chickie? Kimmy? Who???????? I filled him with compliments all night that I used to when we were together as bf and gf. He said some to me too. We also kept doing little things that we used to do when we were bf/gf and we cuddled up our usual way when we were going to sleep. The next morning as I'm leaving his room to get ready: Him Can I get your number? Do you mind? Me No, not at all. Him (He put it in his phone on the spot) Do you have mine? Me Yeah I think it's in my phone. Him I'm going to be thinking about running into each other like this all day. The plan was that I would call him at 3pm and he would let me know if he could stay or not. He had to practically push me out of his hotel room though because I didn't want to leave(we both blew off a couple hours of work that morning due to lack of sleep so we both in a hurry). I ran into him at check out. He kept staring at me with a slight smile as I'm running around trying to get more organized. We complimented each other's suits and waved goodbye with smiles on our faces. He called me at 1:30 that afternoon sounding stressed(or maybe tired due to lack of sleep): Him Hey, I have to head back this afternoon. I'll call you in the next day or two once I get outta there and get situated. Me Ok Him It was reeeeally good seeing you. I'm glad you're doing better and you look great. Me Thanks. It was good to see you too. Him I'll talk to you real soon. Take care. Me You too. Bye That was a week and 3 days ago. What can I make of that conversation we had? (We already had sex twice) Was he just leading me on???

A very interesting statement was made to me the other day. I was looking for some opinions from all of you on this. Statement: You can ALWAYS get someone back...it may just take a little while...but as long as he/she cared about you and there was a physical attraction, you can get them back into your life. It takes patience, hard work, a little innocent manipulation and timing. The more feedback from all of you the better on this! Thanks

Hi again. I think my post has fallen off because I can't find it but really I'm not sure. So, please forgive me if it's still somewhere. For those of you who recall my post I wanted to give you an update as to what has happened since then and maybe seek a little more advice if anyone has any to offer although I doubt there is much more to say other than to give him time. Ultimately I would like this guy to be here for me. Preferably marry me. I am trying to take everything he is saying as a grain of salt. I understand that he is scared, shocked and quite upset as I am. This guy has always tended to speak before he thinks. So I am hoping that once he thinks about all of this he will regroup and be realistic. The father and I went to get the pregnancy test done AGAIN on December 22 at his request. Along with having the standard urine test done I also took the results from the blood test I received the prior week because he didn't know how to read it. A nurse was on staff to review the blood test and confirmed it was positive. We met with a counselor which I think is standard policy. We were in this place for 3 hours. The counselor talked to us about where each of us stands regarding this baby. Remember he is 39 years old!! His attitude was embarrassing along with down right mean and cruel. He said that he NEVER wants to hear from me or my family again. He wants me to get an abortion and if I decide to keep it he WILL NOT be there for me. The counselor was subtly dropping him little hints that he was being extremely childish. For example: He called our baby "the baby" and she responded back, "NO, not THE baby, YOUR baby, YOUR baby" while pointing at him. At another point during the discussion she would turn to me and say that she has seen teenagers in the same situation act more maturely than this. She asked me what 3 qualities I liked best about him and I named them; one of them being integrity. She asked me if I still felt he possesses the same 3 and I said definitely not integrity. She asked me what integrity means to me and I reiterate, a steadfast adherence to a strict moral and ethical code, which is the same as what the dictionary says. She asks me why I don't feel that he has integrity and I say, "you can't choose who you have integrity for, it's accross the board. You treat everyone with integrity or you don't possess it." She doesn't ask him the same question. She asked him how his parents will feel about his attitude and he responds, "I am their beloved son. They will go along with whatever I want." Before the session ended, the counselor brought up the words controlling and narcisistic due to his "look what you have done to me" attitude. He said that I am psycho because he has done his research on me. In the end he walked out but not before grunting, "Go ahead, take her side!!" I copied my HELP!! I'm Pregnant and He Hates Me post onto a CD. I took it to the meeting with us. I explained to him that I thought it would be a good idea to get some impartial advice but he wouldn't take the CD. He left it there when he stormed out. Should I send it to his parents? He is trying to dig up dirt about me by calling my ex-boyfriend. He asked him all kinds of questions. He wanted to take him out to dinner and for drinks. My ex wouldn't go. The only thing I can think of as to why he is calling my ex-boyfriend is that he is trying to justify his actions of not being here for me by finding dirt so he can call me psycho. He is far far away right now visiting his parents in Canada(he's Canadian). I am just wondering what his parents will think of all of this. They are 70 year old Catholics. This guy is an only child whose mother was a stay at home mom. I guess it will depend on what he is telling them. I have never had the opportunity to meet them which is definitely not to my benefit. I have a letter that I wrote to send them once I know he is back in the states because I have a feeling he will be PISSED that I sent them this. I tried to cover things in this letter that I feel would be his argument to his parents for not being there for me. I plan on handwriting it on pretty stationary. I would like you to review it and give me your advice on things I should add or delete from the letter. I will call the father Sam. Dear Mr & Mrs Sam, You may find this letter disturbing but it will not measure up to the distressful situation I have been left with. Sam has confirmed to me that you are aware of my pregnancy. On Monday December 22 at Sam's insistance we visited Morning Star Pregnancy Center where, once again, my pregnancy was confirmed. The center's procedure requires both participants to meet with one of their counselors. Sam's responses and his behavior caused me to be shocked and deeply saddened. Although he bares equal responsibility in this matter he indicated that he wishes to never hear from me or any of my family members again. The counselor asked him what he thought his parents would think of his attitude and his response was, "I am their beloved son and they will go along with whatever I want." The counselor was appalled at his attitude and childish behavior. She indicated to us that she has dealt with teenagers in the same situation who showed far more maturity. During the course of the meeting he accused me of being a liar and psycho. I don't think I fit that mold. He stated during this meeting that we haven't been going out since my sister's wedding which was at the end of August. I explained to the counselor that I beg to differ. At no time was it indicated to me that we were not going out and we didn't do anything different that we hadn't done in the past year of our relationship so if he says we weren't going out then I have no choice but to believe that he was leading me on. Sam has contacted several of my family members and prior boyfriend making them aware of the situation without consulting me. All of my family adored Sam and have had over a year to, what they thought was, get to know him. They were very generous and gracious to him and considered him a part of the family but they are sadly disappointed in this 39 year old man's attitude and failure to assume responsibility as I'm sure you will be. He was absolutely wonderful to my daughter and we both loved him very, very much. I offered to move out west with him so he could continue his career and possibly be closer to you. I have heard many fabulous things about you and regret that we never had the opportunity to meet. I am sending this letter to you with regret that I need to relate these unpleasant events to you but someone needs to give Sam some direction and perhaps restore a christian attitude he may have had at one time. Sincerely, ____________

I forgot to mention that since that weekend when his phone was off he will not tell me if the deal with us is still on. I ask him and ask him but all he says is, "let's just get the test done first."

WOW my situation is overwhelming to me. I don't know what to do. I could just use some advice for me and the guy involved. I thought it might be good for both of us if we could get some impartial information from anyone out there that has something to say about this situation. I plan on showing him this. Here's my story: I had been dating a guy for a year until very recently. I loved him so much and I still do. We had some major problems though in our relationship and we both knew it. We would talk about working on them but we just never seemed to get them settled. My problems with him were his temper and insecurity. His problems with me were my inability to communicate and my temper. To both of us these weren't unusual problems that needed to be worked on. We just couldn't figure out HOW to work on them. Frankly we needed counseling so someone could teach us how to work through these issues. He said that that should be telling us something if we have to see a counselor and we've only been going out for a year. At this point I was still determined to fight to make this relationship work. I had too much time, feeling and my child invested in it to go. He, on the other hand, I could tell was slowing giving up. I know that was hard for him because there is no doubt in my mind that he loved me and he absolutely ADORED my daughter. (He's never been married and he doesn't have any children). But, for all of November things were touch and go. As of November 15 we officially broke up but as he told my daughter we were still talking. We would go out to eat, rent movies etc and I spent all Thanksgiving weekend with him. He started a short term computer project in New York City for the company he works for. A very important project. We actually live 2 hours away from there. He would be spending most of his time there for all of December but would be home spuradically. WELL, he was there over a weekend 2 weeks ago and that is when I found out that I was 4-5 weeks pregnant to him which would make it around November 3rd that I conceived. I had not talked to him the whole weekend he was gone so I called him Sunday night(he was on his way home). The first time I called he didn't answer so I left a message asking him to call me. So I called back about 45 minutes later. Right away he was pissy towards me because he said I left him a message on his cell phone in the wrong tone of voice. I told him I had to talk to him when he got into town but he insisted on hearing what I had to say then so I told him. TALK ABOUT FREAKING OUT!!! I read about stages of grief so at this point I would have to say that he was in stage 1-shock. By the time he got home 2 hours later he was in stage 2-anger. The rest of the night consisted of him freaking on me, blaming me because he trusted me to know when it was safe for us to have unprotected sex, saying he hated me, saying he doesn't love me anymore and he stopped months ago, doesn't want to be with me, I make him sick among other nasty things. I just put up with it because I know what I told him was such a blow. Throughout this Sunday evening I worm out of him that he met someone while in New York and had a date with her on Saturday and met her Friday. So I'm well beyond mad about that. He doesn't believe that I am pregnant by the end of the screaming match. On top of the two home tests I took he wants me to go get a blood test. So I do on Monday morning. They call me Monday night to tell me the results and will fax something to me the next day. I run over the fax and the home tests to him on Tuesday before he leaves again. He tells me that he called Planned Parenthood and they said that it is impossible for blood test results to be returned any sooner than 3 days. He said the paper I brought over was just proof that I had the test NOT the results from the test. I don't know who he talked to but I got the results right away. It was a HCG blood test and although they explained it to me I still didn't understand but they said they would circle the part that says, "Male + Pregnant Female and the numbers which is all I need to know really. I showed it to him but he didn't get it and I wouldn't let him keep the paper because I didn't want Mr Denial running back to Planned Parenthood with the paper because someone who works there is a volunteer where I work. And as far as the home tests go he told me that if you let home tests sit out for a few days they will turn positive and that is what he thinks I did. So he leaves for New York on Tuesday. I leave him alone to give him time to think. Thursday morning rolls around and I hear from my step-sister, step-brother, dad and mom that he called all of them the night before(every one of them live separately so he made 4 separate phone calls). He told all of them that he doesn't believe that I am pregnant, he doesn't love me and he met someone else. So I call him that night(Thursday). I tell him that my family is disappointed and upset. He says all kinds of mean things once again and by the end of the conversation, for some reason, we actually ended up having a decent conversation. I couldn't believe it!! He was compromising with me which I thought was wonderful. I can only guess that it's stage 3 of grief-Bargaining. He says, "he doesn't want me to get rid of the baby because it's his. He always wanted a family but he can't do it the way things were with us. Unless things would change I would have to do it on my own and he will see the child in the summer because he wants to move out west like he has always wanted to. He wanted to make a deal with me. He would go to see what a counselor has to say if I would take another test with him present." I was in shock!! He told me to think about it and he would call me. Well, Miss Emotional that I am calls him the next night to find his cell phone is OFF. I know what that means. It means he was busy with another girl and didn't want to be bothered with me which he does tell me later(his cell phone is his right arm). I leave him a message saying the deal is off because I know what he is doing right now and it's very, very hurtful to me! Then I leave him one the next day crying. It was off ALL weekend until Monday morning. I call him Monday morning and he is freaking on me again. He says that he has been working 16 hour days and he hasn't had a chance to come home so we can go get a test. I ask him if he had just 5 hours over the past weekend and he said, "yes but then he got the message from me saying the deal is off." He never listened to me before so I don't know why this time needs to be the first. My grandmother is so mad at him by this point that Monday night she calls his cell phone and leaves a message telling him that he needs to get back here immediately to take care of this situation, he is doing nothing but stalling and he is acting EXTREMELY childish and immature. She also said that he not believing me was just a cop-out. The next morning(Tuesday) I get a very cold e-mail from him saying, "He will be making a special trip into town on Sunday and ONLY staying until 2pm Monday. He will pick me up at 8:30am on Monday and we will go get another test done and I am to bring the previous blood test results with me. If I refuse, get angry or suddenly sick he has no choice but to believe that I am lying about being pregnant. He said that THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE!!" He copies my parents on this too. Did I mention that I am 33? Did I mention that he is 39? Since that e-mail he sent me he will not return any of my phone calls or e-mails. NOT ONE!!! How do I act on Monday when I am with him? Nice? Sad? Quiet? Mean? I just have so much frustration and pain inside of me that I don't know the right things to say or not say. I am so very hurt by his actions. Don't get me wrong, he's a very good guy. I just don't know where his head is and could use some insight as to where it might be. I want to work things out with him. I do not want to raise another child on my own and I don't have the heart to get rid of it either. I hope the advice you bring us helps both he and I to grow and fast. Thank you so much for your help.