Stereohead

Well first I don’t see any problem with you on the surface, except a self-esteem issue perhaps? The confidence your lacking may make these people uncomfortable after while, feeling as if they need to help you be more confident and boost your ego… Of course that’s just in my case, when I use to be a lot more down and quiet, it was difficult for me to keep and make friends… It wasn’t because I lied to them, it was because of the fact I was just too depressing to be around… Not saying you’re depressing, but maybe that’s it… or you’re just shy and the people want a more outgoing person to hang with instead of feeling like they need to uphold the conversation all the time. Just having fun seems like it would be enough, do what you like, talk to people that have similar interest and go places that you can meet people with those interest… Well Chimeron, I’m not sure what to say. I mean, If you need someone to talk to, I’d be happy to…

It’s a difficult experience. Yeah, the other partner has no reasonability in helping you cope or recover… but facing the fact you can’t be friends now, and even wondering if you’ll even get to be is hard… I was completely sure I was the reason of my breakup, still kind of am. I feel my mistakes tore us apart… and I lost him as a friend, and I felt and feel horrible about it. But I apologized and am trying to fix whatever messes I can (With other friends)… and knowing he still need’s time, and so do I. I’m still not over him completely, I miss him, but I’m doing better I think…hope… and maybe, I’ll be fine seeing him online and not being bothered or something silly. We’ll see right. Patience, erg, something I fail in lol… especially since I don’t understand the whole non-contact stay quiet and let things go… and I don’t want to stop loving him. If it happens it happens, till that point, I’ll love him and regret the things I said that made him feel so rotten of him… It’s a difficult feeling to deal with. And I’ve had to fall on the shoulders of friends to do so, and a couple of times on this site… and like Mease.. hm. I miss having him around, but I am trying to be better… as a person… I loved the time with him, it’s sad to lose him. ..as ya’ll already know the feeling.

Hey Mease, I totally understand where you’re coming from buddy. And even the wanting to be friends with the guy/girl you love, it’s natural... You don’t want to lose someone you care about, nobody does. In my situation…I wanted to be friends with him; even after knowing he hated me. And of course, everything bad he’s said about me was to friends and never actually to me. And of course, he got mad that they were sharing the news with me and when I started questioning him, he blocked me. I couldn’t help but be upset he wasn’t actually happy like he said he was, and I was worried about him. I’ve separated myself as much as I could from him, so he wouldn’t have to forced to see me around… We had a long distance relationship, and I’m still unclear on all the facts and what actually happened. But I realize it’s ended even though never officially, and despite the harsh names and everything… I honestly just think he’s trying to move on and not care for me… we had a very complicated relationship.. I didn’t want to lose his friendship, but he’s not ready for a friendship, he’s rather angry by the mention of me… Which just makes me upset because, this is the guy I loved and he loved me and by the simple mention of my name he gets pissed… and I was hoping he was actually happy like he said he was… and not so…. Upset… I’m staying quiet… I’ll try to talk again, and say happy birthday or something… I don’t think he’s meaning to hurt my feelings… I just think he’s venting and trying to move on … and having no one to talk to… I feel sorry for him. And hopefully by remaining quiet he’ll see I’m not such a bad person and could possibly forgive me one of these days… We’ll see, but I’m not going to dwell on it. He wants to be friends, wonderful. If not, I hope he has a great life without me… I’ll love him, there will be no doubt in that. He’ll be in my heart… And yeah, I miss him terribly, but I rather have him be happy, then upset and faking it… Well, Mease, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’d be happy to… I understand all of this…it’s all happened very recently for me as well… And I know…it’s the worst feeling losing them, and all the things said between you meant nothing it seems… guess all we can do is hope they can forgive us to some extent and see that we ain’t that awful after all…

If it’s physical and you don’t really like their personality/relationship wise, I wouldn’t pursue a relationship with another man… I don’t think it would hurt if you explored and actually went out with a guy, just once to see if you like it more then a woman… Just go with what feels right… if you don’t want to be with a guy and find it too uncomfortable… stick to women then… see if you can find one that you are attracted to… Don’t be too concerned with what others think…it’s a problem of mine as well, I take everything people say too seriously… but you really should do what you feel is right… Just have to figure out what that is...

If you don't want to talk to him... if he was as cruel as you mentioned, and you don't want to reestablish communication with him, don't e-mail him and keep going with non-contact... You've kept it to three months... Keep going, unless you really feel like you need to ask him if he moved out of state that badly, but I don't see why it would matter to you anymore... Find something to distract yourself with. If you don't want to talk to him, and get the communication started again, don't send him an e-mail...

Take a moment and think about whom you really enjoy more, whom you could possibly one day see as a future partner. Even if you don’t want to get married…but whom do you see yourself actually spending more time with, more enjoyable and happier. Your Ex is probably interested because you’re taken; she wants what she can’t have… The New Girl hasn’t done anything wrong. I see no reasoning on why you would want to leave her, unless you do not love her. If you don’t love her, tell her and end things now. Decide whom you do love. If you love your ex, return to her and hopefully she won’t become your ex again…If you don’t love her and think she is playing jealous, and probably will lose interest again once your back under her control. You sound like your still crazy about your Ex. If that’s the case. Return to her. Break things with the new girl if you don’t love her. Follow what your heart wants… Just decide who do you love? Decide that. You’re playing with multiple hearts…If you love your Ex, tell the New Girl to find someone else… don’t stay with her if you don’t love her. It’s your heart. Who do you want to be with? We can’t decide for you… It’s your life… Who do you really want to spend time with?

Hello, my relationship ended the other day…I made a lot of mistakes during the final two months, trying to get him to speak up since he was getting distant. But of course, it failed. And he wrote basically a goodbye and refuses again to speak to me. I love him with all my heart, and I’ve been reading this thread because of the NC rule. I know if I left everything alone, he probably wouldn’t go looking for a way to contact me; he made it clear he didn’t want to go down “that” road again. So I lost my love, and a great friendship in the long run. Now the only issue is healing and wondering if I could win him back. The main reason of the break up was because the relationship was basically online or over the telephone. And he had been neglecting his responsibilities for his family; he has a little girl… Well, he stopped contacting me, and despite my attempts, he won’t tell me it was because he fell out of love, just that he changed his priorities to being his little girl now, and won’t be glued to the keyboard like he was when we were dating. So the only chance of getting him back, would be to stop contact I assume, until I can be there physically for him. I have planned a trip before I met him, to the UK (where he lives…) next year during the summer. I have been thinking, that if I acknowledged the no contact rule this year… and next year if he still loves me, I can be there physically for him and hopefully win him back… which is rather a far fetched idea… but right now, all my contacting has pushed him further away, and If this NC has a chance of pulling him back…then I’ll do it. I’ll work on myself for a while, and regain more control… but still, I’m a little shaky about what I have planned if I still love him when the time comes. I’ll try anything to win him back… I agree with other post I’ve seen on this thread… if I stopped talking to him, would he forget about me and move on by then? Would he even want to hear from me after months have passed? The soonest I can be there for him in person would be next year during the summer… by then he could have found another girl friend and moved on with his life… I’d hate to imagine that… but I guess if I apply the NC rule, maybe I’ll just move on too. And he’ll remain a pleasant memory… I’m at a total lost of what is the best thing to do. Or if there is even a chance that he’d still love me after all that time as passed. I wish we could fast forwarded time and see the results… I don’t know. I probably already lost him for good. Should I hold onto that small bit of hope that he’ll still love me…? Even if I somehow managed to hold true to the NC rule…? Bah. Love is complicated. ](*,)

Hey Craig… break ups are nasty… It’s hard to deal with, especially if you still love the individual… like in my scenario, I still love the guy I had to say goodbye to… Just take a break, figure out what makes you happy… for me, going through my break up is confusing…and I’ve gotten sick since we stopped talking. I’m sure there will be other girls… you’re a bit older then I am… but still young. So you have a lifetime to find the girl that’s right for you… Letting go is the hardest part… you don’t necessarily have to let go of her completely… just learn from your relationship… and hope that she’ll be happier without you, and you will sooner or later, find someone that makes your happier then she ever did… Good luck…

Like others have mentioned, it’s natural to feel panicky with all the online relationship stories and sick people out there… But you said you were in a relationship with him, and trust is a foundation of any relationship… you can tell him your concerned and just be honest, saying your uncomfortable with him having the home number, and ask him to no longer call it. Instead give him your Cell Phone number… If you’re still worried, have your home number changed… you said you were planning on meeting him... four months isn’t that far away… do you plan to improve your trust before then? What makes you so uneasy about giving him your number in the first place? Do you really care about him? If the relationship is looking serious, I don’t understand why you would be so concerned with giving him your home phone number… except, maybe you don’t love him as much as you think you do? Just sit back and think about it… is there really any reason to be paranoid?