WizardElement5

Spanking can be great fun, but ONLY if the woman is turned on by it. I would never ever just hit a woman to see if she liked it because that seems to me to be very close to physical abuse. But if a woman requested a spanking because that's what she likes, then it can be very sexy. I think it's great for some women and totally wrong for others.

Yes, it's very important!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel. The only important thing is that you are true to yourself. Whether or not your feelings remain constant on this for your whole life is something that only time will tell. But it does not matter whether they do or they don't, as long as you continue to be honest with yourself and do what makes you happy. I think it is very understandable that your friends repeatedly bring up this topic. Your desires in this matter are likely to be completely foreign to them and thus a considerable challenge to their own concepts. I'm afraid that is something you will just have to accept. All you can do is assure them that you are making these choices because that is what makes you happy. If they are really your friends they will want you to do what makes you happy and eventually be able to accept that your truth is different from their own. The hardest part of this will obviously be to find a partner who fits in with your feelings on this matter. All you can do is be honest and open about yourself to the men you meet. Practically all men are very keen on sex and I think it is unavoidable that many potential relationships will fail and that there is likely to be some heartbreak because of it. It is always difficult for people who have minority desires and yours are definitely those of a very small minority. However, just because your road might be hard, does not make it wrong for you, only difficult. Try not to get into a constricted way of thought, be constantly reflective and open to all the possibilities your truth has to offer you.

There is no one just like me, lol. Actually, I can't claim to be unique reagarding this matter, but flatsy-lovers are indeed a small minority. But then who wants to be part of the herd anyway? My guess would be that there is absolutely no connection between, or pattern to sexual desire and personality types. That's good, a vital ingredient of attractiveness is having self confidence.

Like previous posters have said, what men desire differs greatly from man to man. For some, the bigger the breasts the better, then there are those for whom it is all about proportion and shape, while for others the smaller or flatter the breasts are the more attractive they find them. So really it doesn't matter what size they are, as long as you are happy, because there are always some men who will be sexually attracted to them whether they are huge, or medium, or right the way down to completely flat-chested. Of course having a pretty face and being generally attractive will increase a woman's desirability on a purely physical level. Once a man gets to know a woman, then her personality will either increase or decrease the physical desires he might have for her. Though in my experience this has a far more pronounced effect when working negatively, rather than positively. That is, if I am at first physically attracted to a woman, but on getting to know her I find she has a personality I just can't click with, then that can be a total turn off and kill it. Where as if I really don't fancy someone at all in the first place, then however well we eventually get on, the relationship will only ever remain that of friends and will not develop sexually. I don't think age has anything to do with it. My physical desires have remained constant throughout my adult life. I have always been turned on by flat-chestedness, (for me the flatter the better), and guys I know who love medium or huge breasts don't change their views either. Whatever desires a man has are his for life and I don't think he is suddenly going to radically change his sexuality.

Look, love is fun. Sex is fun. A man is not just a blue eyed Prince because the blue eyed Pince is the woman's own archetype, not the man. When you have a relationship with someone, they are everything, partly a blue eyed prince, but all the rest as well. Try to see the actual human being not just you own ideal. If your partner is no good, trade him in for a better model!!! But basically, a relationship is about discovering the truth of the other person and learning to care for that actual truth, not just your own "in love" persona. Really love is great, you can hang out together, enjoy doing stuff, or just chill. Exploring your partner physically, mentally and emotionally is fab. Enjoy it. It's good. Honest!!!

Physical apperance is the single most important factor for me concerning sexual attraction. That doesn't mean that other things aren't also important, but looks are the foundation on which all else is built. If the way someone looks is not erotic for me, then a sexual relationship, by definition, is not going to work. Of course beauty is an entirely subjective term and I happen to have minority tastes, but just because most other people choose differently from myself, doesn't alter the fact that I am making my primary choices according to appearance. This is purely a sexual thing and in all other relationships, appearance doesn't matter to me one little bit. After appearance, then charisma and intelligence are very close runners up and can be deal breakers if they are missing, even just for casual sex. For a long term relationship, kindness of heart and creativity of thought, (not just intelligence, but being able to think outside the box), are also vital. But still, kindness, creativity and intelligence are not enough if the central factor of a "sexual appearance" is not there. Quite often people who know me don't realise this because I have, on quite a few occasions, turned down advances from conventionally very beautiful women, (including pro models). But that is only because I have a very individual aesthetic and not because I don't value appearance.

Hi Baby Carrot. The bird and the butterfly represent your natural creative aspects. They are beautiful and they have the power of flight, which means they can transport you to your dreams, to your heart's desire. But at the moment they are confined within a machine, within your own rationality. You are obviously a very clever and logical person and your intellect controls your conscious thought. However, you need to give expression to these more instinctive archetypes, to allow them to fly free, because they have the power to take you up to a new level. That certainly does not mean that you should abandon your rationality, because that part of you is just as important, but you need to integrate all the aspects of your psyche to create your complete Self. Honestly Baby Carrot, I don't know you nearly well enough to make more than a general guess with this dream translation. If this seems completely wrong, please just ignor it.

Hi agent. I was using polyamory in its broadest sense to mean having more than one lover. Whether one has a particular lover for just one night, for a week or for a much longer period is not so important. But the person this woman slept with had been her former partner, so one might view this as at least a potentially serious or longer term relationship. My point is not that she is not happy with him, but that if she felt he was going to permanently deny a very large and important part of herself then this could very likely lead to the failing of their relationship. I have no wish to stereotype anyone and we probably just mix in different circles. My last relationship, which lasted 7 years, was with a bi woman and was very much on the polybi scene. I've been to several bicons, (have I met you there?), and of my tens and tens of bi friends, most of them are poly. But as I said, that's probably just because I've been in that particular scene.

My guess is that your gf will only be happy if she is free to experience both parts of her sexuality. If you allow her to have relationships with other women, then this will enable her to also have a full and loving relationship with you and you could both be very happy sharing yourselves with each other. But if you deny her that other half of her self, then even if she agrees at first, ultimately she will see you as a denial of her own truth and your relationship will become destructive and finally fail. Perhaps you are not capable of being in a polyamorous relationship and it is wrong for you to continue with your gf, but that may well be the only choice if you care about her living a life that fulfils all of her needs and lets her be the complete person that she is.

Hi BC. I think the most important thing is to find something you really enjoy doing, or better still something you are really passionate about. If you can do that then whether or not you continue your education can be determined by the answer to: "Will more education allow me to do that thing I so desperately want to do?" If the answer is yes, then go for it, if no, then pursue your dreams by whatever road seems appropriate.

Hi GalaxyC. All men are not the same. There is an incredible range of male sexuality and sexual desires. There are some men who are attracted only to Big Beautiful Women and who require a woman to be obese for them to become sexually aroused by her. It is the complete opposite of myself, but it works for them. Such men as those probably wouldn't look twice at you because you're much too thin! Of course the tastes of the vast majority of men lie somewhere between those of myself and those others I've just described and would consider your weight to be excellent. If you have low self esteem that can be much more of a passion damper than actual appearance. But if your photo in the photo thread is accurate you are actually very attractive indeed. Sometimes people with very individual personalities can find it much harder to meet others who find them attractive. But when the right man does come along, he is going to feel extremely lucky because you are a very pretty woman.

Once again, thank you Ailec.

Ok. I'm very strongly attracted to super-skinny women. But that does not mean I think that women should be super-skinny, it is just what I find sexually attractive. I have absolutely no problem with women of average size or larger, or indeed those who are very big indeed. The only important thing for the woman is that they are happy with themselves. Men have such a wide range of tastes, there will always be someone who is attracted by a certain weight whatever that may be. Of course there are health issues connected to eating disorders, but in the end I am a libertarian and I don't think it's up to others to tell someone that they are either too fat or too thin. Also, being attracted to very skinny women, I've noticed that many people just assume that a woman who weighs very little must have an eating disorder when in fact there are many people who are just naturally bone thin and can't put on weight however hard they try. Often these naturally super-skinny women receive a lot of abuse about their weight and are very upset about it. I know a 25 year old woman who certainly doesn't have any eating disorder at all and she is 5' 10" and weighs 110lbs. That is her natural weight, however much she eats! Apart from her husband and myself, I have never heard any other man compliment her on her body size and have heard countlees insults towards her. But there are at least two people who think she is incredibly sexy!