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wishiknew

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  1. wishiknew
    JIzzyM, Ok, so this is how things have been. I feel like I've been making progress, not quite to the stage where you're at yet though. She's been calling me more frequently which is nice. Like nights when she gets off work she'll call me just to talk or maybe if she wants to do something. Its nice just to have that back because things haven't been that way since long before we broke up. We went skating one night after she got off work (sunday) and after she got cold we went back to her place just to hang out. Well it ened up me sitting on one side of the room and her on the other because well I didn't want to push things or cross any boundaries. But then she says to me "come over here and warm up my feet" So I accepted the invitation and she lain on the couch with her legs draped accross my lap. Then she was talking about her sore knee and asked me to massage that after her feet were better. She fell asleep watching tv with me on the couch. Was in and out of consciousness and i asked if she wanted to go to bed and if i should leave. The answer was always later, so I took it as a good sign that she wanted me there. Maybe I shouldn't be looking for something to read into and just take everything at face value. So it's good that we have that physical closeness again and I think that we are slowly developing the bond that we once had. Much like you thought I just wish she would up and say what she wants out of this. But I know that she needs the time to think things through and i said that I would be there for her, so I am. I think about it and I take it as a good sign, i mean its not like you or anybody would be comfortable with just a friend being so close right? Other days it seems like I have a lot more of an uphill battle, like we'll be talking in the middle of a conversation and something comes up, she has to go and says she'll call me back. That call on somedays just never comes, and i know i shouldn't wait around for it, but sometimes i still do. We've talked and we want a completely open relationship, something we never had in the past because i was very closed off emotionally. I just have to draw the line at what i'm feeling because she says she might not feel the same way right now. so that in a nutshell is where i am. We're still going away next week for my birthday trip that we had been planning. In a way I'm hoping that some good comes out of it, but I don't really expect anything to anymore.
  2. wishiknew
    i agree. the old relationship is dead and in the past. Tread carefully in trying to create a relationship because those old ghosts may come back to haunt you. Thats what happens in the initial phase of most breakups when one person wants to get things back, go back to the way they were but sadly that almost never happens.
  3. wishiknew
    god, sometimes i think he should just man up and say that he wants to be with you. I mean there are no signs to indicate otherwise, but very much like you i'm an optimist and like to see things in a positive light. It seems that you and I are very much in for the long haul of waiting for our respective storms to settle. Sometimes I wonder why I'm doing it, I'm sure you ask yourself the same questions that I do everyday. In the end I come up with the same answer though, to me its worth it. Is it to you? My situation is very much like yours in terms of progress. We still spend a lot of time together, the closeness is there physically. But thats all.
  4. wishiknew
    from a guy's perspective i would say that things seem good but at the same time he's still holding something back. just keep doing what you're doing, try to make yourself a little less available and make him come to you.
  5. wishiknew
    friendships with an ex can't happen right after a breakup in my opinion, someone always still have feelings for the otehr and its just too hard. in time maybe
  6. wishiknew
    you could just blog in the journals forum here, whether you choose to make do it in the public or private forum is up to you.
  7. wishiknew
    if you've left a message already, do NOT call again. you don't want to seem desperate
  8. wishiknew
    i always seem to make that mistake, invest too much emotionally and then when things fall apart it just hits you like a ton of bricks. Right now i'm still trying to dig out from that pile of bricks. Good advice though.
  9. wishiknew
    yes its hard but you can't let this run or even ruin your life. You have to get back to being you we all go through the no sleep, not eating, not being able to focus or concentrate stages. Hell, i'm still there right now but it does get better. It's only been 2 days for you, I'm going on almost 4 weeks and it still hurts like hell. But i've been through this once before after a 5 year long relationship and i made it through. Take care of yourself and live your life, don't dwell on things that you can't change.
  10. wishiknew
    J, I wouldn't read into it too much. just enjoy the ride and take it day by day. The grabbing your hand, the closeness you two share appear to be good signs that things are headed in the right direction. Don't force anything yet, its still too early. Stay focused on your degree and don't let anything interfere with that. Oh, and happy birthday if I don't catch you before the weekend.
  11. wishiknew
    only if you truly want to be friends with her and nothing more. if you hope for a chance at reconciliation its only going to tear you up inside seeing her with the new partner
  12. wishiknew
    Glad to see there are still happy endings out there. All the best to you
  13. wishiknew
    Looking back, we always think it was love. Everything seemed better than it was, almost perfect. When in reality things are never that rosy. Seeing as how its been 3 months and she's accepted a proposal I suggest you take the same approach she's taking towards you. Speaking to her now isn't going to change things, you can't change how someone feels, can't make them love you. Unlike in the movies where you may have a speech or letter all planned out and afterwards they just melt and come back to you. Plain and simple, that just never happens. What you need to do is move on with your life. I know it seems dark and lonely now. But I can tell you that it does get better, I was dating a girl for 5 years and things were getting really serious. I started looking for a ring, we were talking about buying a house. Then one day she decided she dids't want to be with me anymore. I thought that she was the one, the only one and I would never love again. And it did feel that way for a long time, that was 5 years ago. And when I was least expecting or wanting it, someone incredible came into my life and she showed me that I could love again. Hang in there, there was a life without her prior, so you know there will be a life without her in the future.
  14. wishiknew
    Rascal Flats - What Hurts the Most Pretty much describes my situation right down to the last detail. We were together for almost 2 years and it took me losing her to finally realize what she truly meant to me and what she brought into my life. There were/still are so many things I need or want to say to her, but I just don't know if I can right now. I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house That don’t bother me I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while Even though going on with you gone still upsets me There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok But that’s not what gets me What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin’ to do It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go But I’m doin’ It It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do What hurts the most Is being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away And never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do Not seeing that loving you That’s what I was trying to do
  15. wishiknew
    J, long read, but I going into that much detail really helps. The more I read about your situation the more it reminds me of my own. There are so many parallels in the way both our ex's are acting and feeling. Just keep having fun and try not to think about all the good times you used to have, but rather the good times that you can have now. Its good to hear that you're not letting anything set you back and are trying to move forward. I may just send you a PM yet going into detail about my situation
  16. wishiknew
    I'm glad to hear that you're staying positive and able to keep the past in the past. I'm going through a situation very much like yourself, still in the earlier stages though (only been 3 weeks). So it's a little tougher on me right now, sometimes I can't help but bring things up/look for answers. Reading your story helps me to stay postitive and may prove that going NC isn't always the best option. I wish you the best of luck, keep smiling!
  17. wishiknew
    in all honesty, i would have to go with the latter. we had some good days together where things seemed almost normal again. I don't know with this emotional roller coaster that i've been on, sometimes it feels like I am ready to let go and then there are times when it all comes crashing down on me again
  18. wishiknew
    is there such a thing as not being ready for NC?
  19. wishiknew
    I've just been so resistent to the idea of NC because we weren't just a couple, we were friends. We did everything together and had fun doing it. If i go the route of NC, then it affects me to the point that I'm unable to do some of the things that I really enjoy. For example, I'm an accomplished snowboarder and she is one of the few people who I actually enjoyed spending time on the mountain with. Never had to wait for her, she never complained about being cold or anything. Most of my other friends who even tried to give snowboarding a chance are still learning and I used to instruct, but lately I just don't have the patience to pay $70 for a lift ticket and spend the day babysitting somebody down the hill.
  20. wishiknew
    I know that feeling, i'm living it right now. Seems like our situations are very similar. Its hard to imagine putting so weight of our happiness on one person but we do and thats why its hurts so bad. It doesn't matter what I do, where I go, she's always there in my head and my heart. Its been 3 weeks and its no better than the first day we broke up. BUT I've been through this situation before so yes I know that things do get better, WILL get better. Time right now is both our best friend and worst enemy. Time will heal us, but the more time we have the more we look back and wonder. Good luck to you
  21. wishiknew
    So it's been a little over 3 weeks since I was dumped. things have been a roller coaster as I'm sure they are for everyone else. The reason we broke up is she says "she just lost something that was there between us, and isn't anymore." At first i couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, just plain couldn't function. That's gotten a little better in the last week or so. I've started eating regular meals again, been exercising and staying active. I don't have trouble falling asleep anymore, but I can't stay asleep. Most nights I wake up around 3:30 and just can't get back to sleep. Other nights I wake up in a panic and I'm drenched in sweat and don't know why. Sometimes I still get these anxiety/panic attacks in the middle of the day and it just brings me back to square one. We still talk on a regular basis, almost everyday, and stil hang out just as friends. But I'd be lying if I said i didn't want more than that. I thought I had finally accepted everything and had moved on but I was on the phone with the ex today and she was talking about going going away to go to college. That hit me hard because it means she won't be around in the fall, and it made me realize that no, I haven't let go yet. Sometimes I think that going NC is the best answer for me, I'm still afraid of what my life is going to be like without her in the picture though. We had such great times together and were friends before anything and I'm more afraid to lose my best friend too. I just don't know what to do anymore, i'm tired, emotionally drained. I just want to be myself again because I don't want to look in the mirror and see this depressed, shell that I am now.
  22. wishiknew
    So its a bad idea to try and put my feelings for her aside because I would rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all? Maybe I'm selfish for wanting that, or maybe she's selfish for wanting to keep me around as a friend. I don't know, it's been a rough couple of weeks but I thought I was starting to see a light and things were getting better because I've finally accepted everything. Or at least I thought I had.
  23. wishiknew
    sounds like a lot like my situation. problem is, i couldn't do the NC thing. not yet anyways/not even sure it would work for me in my situation. Sounds like you're doing a lot better than I am though, just keep doing what you're doing and things will work out in the end. Whether she's a part of your life or not, only time will tell.
  24. wishiknew
    Hi All, I was just curious as to how many of you out there are friends with an ex, and how long it took to achieve it? I'm 3 weeks out from being dumped and thought about doing the NC thing, but the ex and I have too much in common and we are such great friends that not seeing each other/doing anything on a semi regular basis seems strange. Yes, its hard on me because I do still want to be with her, and part of me does hope that by being around each other we might be able to rekindle the flame that once burned. Is this foolish of me to think so?
  25. wishiknew
    You take something out of every relationship so I would definitely do it all over again. I'm still a little messed up from the breakup, but i know that in time things will get better and I can still look back and reflect on all the happy times.
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