wishiknew

in no particular order: jump out of a plane run a marathon take walk on the great wall climb a mountain learn to swim see more of the world outside north america get my pilots license get married have kids grow old and die after living a happy fulfilling life

i think its in your best interests to move on and not invest any more time into this relationship that she was so willing to sacrifice by cheating on you. i know it hurts now because you miss her, but it will be better for you in the end

Thanks for the input guys. We talked yesterday briefly, she wants to take me on a snowboarding trip for my birthday this month. It's somewhere i always wanted to go but never got the chance to, so we're gonna do it this year. Still seems like a friendly trip more than anything else because she asked if any of our other friends might want to come along. I got a little ahead of myself thinking we could go for the week, she was thinking more like 2-3 days because money is tight after christmas. I offered to pay, but she won't accept because "we're not dating and I can't let you do that." I was crushed when i heard those words, but its the truth and i think it's helped me to accept things a little more. Back to being confused again i guess.

It's been 3 weeks since we broke up, she just didn't know what she wanted anymore so she broke it off. Tried the route of NC, it seemed like it was best for the both of us. But then she called me on New years day and wanted to just hang out. Well, we spent some time together in the last couple days. Watched a movie one night and then spent the following day together in the mountains snowboarding. We just had fun, and there was what seemed like a little playful flirting going on. When we got back to town we went to dinner and talked about things. She said she thought she knew what she wanted when she broke it off, but now she wasn't sure again. Said that "everything was normal again, and they really haven't been normal in a long time." She still doesn't want to jump back into the relationship right away because she wants to be sure. I feel like i'm so close and it's within reach, but I don't want to do anything that might jeopardize my chances and push her away again.

thanks for the advice, some days its as though i'm seeing something that i want to see, something i hoped would be there but truly is not. I'm having a hard time with the NC thing, it's only been 4 days but seems like an eternity. I jump everytime the phone rings, half expecting it to be her, but it never is. Trying to move forward without moving on, is this a bad thing to still have hope?

we all have our moments of weakness when all is dark and there seems to be no light anywhere. I've had my heart broken on 2 occasions prior to this one and both times I've asked the same questions, wondered if I was just going to be alone. Yes I've even wondered if suicide might be the answer to all the pain. It's a selfish and cowardish way out and hurts those we love more than we're hurting. Trust me when I say that it gets better, you just have to keep moving. Surround yourself with friends, family, anything to keep you busy and not sitting alone wondering and asking more questions. You just have to get on with your life, there was a life before this relationship and there will be a life after.

all we can offer is ourselves, and if that's not enough then there isn't anything we can do to change that. Sometimes people change, feelings change and we have to cope with it. Most of us here are coping with it now. I am in a similar state of mind as you are, I want to desperately to be happy, to go back to the person I used to be. I was fun to have around, always positive and cheerful. Now it seems the skies have turned black and nothing can change my mood. My mind races constantly and can't do anything to get her out of my head. You just have to take charge of the situation, find something you can be passionate about. Get outside your comfort zone if you have to and discover something totally new to you, immerse yourself in it. These feelings will subside, trust me. I've been there once before with a broken heart and this second time around isn't any better. But I know things will change for the better even when there are moments if feels like they never will.

cheers to new beginnings

So she's already said that she can't do the relationship thing right now and just isn't sure of what she wants. Said she would still be my friend, is afraid of losing me completely as she still wants me as part of her life. I tried looking for answers, getting some closure but I am getting nothing. We've spent some time together before Christmas and I thought things were good, but I was seeing things as I wanted to see them. I was told not to get my hopes up "because we're getting back together anytime soon." I asked if we were through, if it was over and again the answer was "for now." So my question here folks is what do I do? I truly love her and did see myself spending the rest of my life growing old with her. We were best friends first and everything else was secondary. Problem is, she just doesn't feel the same way towards me she once did. Am I being let down gently, being kept around as a backup/something to fall back on?

I think we've all been there, i'm there right now. 2 weeks after the break up and after a year and a half of getting a phone call everyday before bed to say goodnight. Now there are nights when I'm left waiting for a call that never comes and wondering why.

I wouldn't say that you should ignore her, just make yourself less available while still being courteous. That's my take on things anyways. BUT i'm wondering the same thing sometimes so maybe someone has some more valuable insight.

good luck! i'm going on day 2 of NC and its tough. tougher than i though, but it should only get easier from here

Lady, I'm in a situation much like yourself and I tried going the other route despite my feelings and knowing that it would be easier for me to not be friends right away. Much like you I am in love with her, she just decided one day that she stopped knowing what she wanted out of this relationship. She was afraid to lose me out of her life altogether and still wanted to be friends. Everytime we've had a talk about our relationship I can't get any closure that would let me move forward. The biggest reason I'm still around is obviously because I hope for a reconcilation. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and maybe this will jus takt some time. Some days I feel like there is hope and we might have a chance. Other days it's quite the opposite and I go right back to square one in dealing with this. I know it's not good for me, but to me it would all be worth it.

i know EXACTLY how you feel, i was in the same situation with my first ex. we dated for 5 years and were seriously looking into getting married. Then she broke it off and hooked up with one of my best friends my advice, find something you are passionate about and immerse yourself in it. a lot of people take up running, i took up biking. talk it out, it helps... I'm about 2 weeks into my latest breakup and yes i break down, not near as much now as the initial phase. but find someone you trust, someone to listen and just let everything out

So it's been about a week and a half now since she broke it off. I've been reading posts on the forum but never feltan urge to tell my story until now. I know everyone says/feels that their situation is different in their own kind of way, but really they're more similar than we all think. And this is how my story goes... To keep it brief, we both got really busy in the last 2-3 months and haven't seen a whole lot of one another. Maybe once a week for half a day, as a result she got distant. When I asked her what was going on between us, she told me that she was confused and just didn't know what she wanted anymore. Wanted to spend some time at christmas together to see if that would help things. Foolishly, I got scared after that talk and started to lay things on thick and as a result I forced her hand and she broke it off a few days later. She says she still wants me in her life, still wants to be my friend. I used to tell her that I didn't believe in being friends with an ex, not right away, it always hurts one party too much. Of course, me being me, I gave in and tried that route and it's been hard, hurts like hell to be around her, to see her and not be able to reach out to her. I've gone looking for answers, she wants to give me answers. Problem is all of her answers aren't what I'm looking for. She doesn't want me to get my hope us that we'll be getting back together anytime soon. So I ask if we're through, her answer is "for now." Everything is followed by those words and somehow they give me hope that there might be a chance. So what do I do, go the route of NC and see where that takes me? I'm very confused right now, seeing things that I wanted to see, grasping at straws, trying to save this relationship when it was already gone. I think in the past day or two I've finally accepted the fact that we are no longer a couple and have been trying to deal with it. Spending time with family and friends instead of in solitary thinking about what went wrong and what i could have done differently. I want to let go, but at the same time I don't.