distroyed one

I know that it is terrible to loose your life and habits because some careless person takes that from you.. I'm also considering moving away from the city where I was born and lived whole my life, I can't stand meeting him even once in a while.. Town is not big enough for both of us.. He also founded young girl for romantic life full of love, she is younger then me 5 years, he is 29.. Guess I'm too old for him.. Somehow I feel like that right now.. The thing I hate is that some people have so much luck when it comes to love, or at least they don't have hard breakups or they don't get dumped or cheated.. What did we do to deserve this, I keep wondering.. Be brave my dear friend, what else can we do? I hope with all my heart that you are stronger person then I am..

You know, before all this, I was religious, not in a standard way like going to church every Sunday and reading a Bible.. But I prayed to God every night to keep my parents safe and healthy and to give me strenght and common sense to walk through another day.. I tried to be a good person, to understand and to respect every man or other living creature.. In my heart I hope that God sees that and it is more important to him then going to church every day and then breaking each of his 10 commands.. Now in society I see that people insist on what is outside, like if you talk about religion, if you go to church- posibly the one where everyone can see you.. For me the thing that is important is state of your soul and your personal relation to what you bealive in.. And I bealived that heaven exist.. Now when my father died I'm not sure anymore.. The way he lived his life he deserved to be in heaven, and I want to bealive that he is up there watching at me, but I'm so scared, what if death is really just an end of our existence.. And that hurts even more then death itself.. I used to bealive and now when I need faith the most I've started having doubts..

Thank you guys a lot for your threads.. I would probabily said the same thing to someone else, but it is so hard to act and think reasonably.. I'm all messed up, want to do something but nothing that I can do can change a thing.. That hurts the most.. At least it helps writing my thoughts down, they are all confused and probabily hard to follow but like I said before I just had to say it to someone.. Thanks for having time and patience to read it..

I'm from Bosnia..

Thank you guys for reading my post and for answering me.. People are telling me that he was old, exhousted after all those years but that just means nothing to me.. Since this summer I was in such bad mood, thinking that my world broke down after that breakup.. Ex cheated on me and I was so disappointed in people and in life, crying every day.. My parents tried to help me, cheer me up, always full of understanding saying that it will go away eventualy.. I worked so hard trying to earn enough money to provide them some things they never had a chance to have, to pay bills ( they were retired, they both got just 400 EUR per month).. My dad did everything he could to find the best doctors, and to give me hope that everything will be ok when I had health problems.. Now when it was my turn to fight for him I let those monsters to kill him.. I wanted to prosecute the hospital but lawyer told me that there is nothing that can be done.. Still, sometimes I think that he is away on some journey, that he will be at home when I arrive.. Somehow, it is even worse for my mom, they've spent 30 years together and now she is all alone al day long until I come from work.. I don't want to sound ungrateful, I know that lots of people loose their parents very young and that since war all of those years are gift.. But I can't stand thought that he had disease that can be cured and that doctors play God deciding that people over 80 years should be left to die..

Don't feel guilty for trying to save your pet! Maybe he doesnt like moving or procedure is painful, but if you just let go it would be even worse. You should keep the cat safe, loved, with all the necesary medicines. Animals have better abilities for healing then us humans!

My father died two weeks ago.. Got a flue, then pneumonia and doctors say that heart couldn't make it through the illness and all those medications.. They say "oh what can you do, he was old".. We lived together, my mother, father and I, no brothers, sisters.. Here, in my country doctors are monsters.. At first no one from the ambulance wanted to come for a visit.. They said they don't have time, and it is nothing serious.. My father had 82 years, had diabetes, weak heart, and you don't prescribe the same things to boy of 20 years and to man of 82.. I called for a visit doctor from a private hospital, he diagnosed pneumonia ad gave him a prescriptions, some antibiotics, he also said that it is not a serious condition.. There wasn't any improvement and my aunt found one doctor in state hospital.. He supposed to intervene that my father even come to hospital, usually they say to older patients that there is no bed available.. I gave money to doctor so he will treat my dad good, brought presents to nurses so they will keep him clean and take care of him.. There is allowed just one visit during the day, it lasts one hour so I couldn't be around.. Eventually even those visits were canceled because of flue epidemics.. I tried to enter to hospital and saw my dad that evening, he was like sleeping, couldn't wake him up, didn't try very much, thought that maybe he was tired, found doctor and she said that it is normal condition, he is resting and so on.. In the morning after 4 days in hospital doctor called me and said that my dad passed away and that she is sorry.. I'm so angry, and sad.. I can't help thinking that my father could be alive if I was smarther, found another doctor, found another hospital.. I'm sure that he died because of our terrible medical care, they could save him.. What if his heart was weak, some people was born with weak heart and they live their whole life in such condition.. They could've reanimate him, they could've said that his condition is bad and I would sell everything I have to find that heart for him.. I would give my lungs to kep him breathe.. I could burn that hospital, I wish that those doctors live for 100 years, but that all of their familly members die, so they would live for those 100 years all alone, wondering what they did to deserve it.. I'm full of hate for people who are supposed to heal others, and although they have salaries they take money from patients so they would do their job.. I'm so full of sadness thinking how I could save my father and failed, that he was all alone in hospital, alone and scared.. I was supposed to take care of my parents, to protect them.. They take care of me all the time, during the war, they would gave their life for me.. Now when time came to keep them safe I failed.. It is like you let your child die.. I worked a lot, staying late in office, had a longterm relationship breakup this summer.. I was so nervous all the time and I was preocupied with my own problems didn't pay attention to only two people in this world that love me and care about me..

Thank you guys for nice words! I know that most important thing in overcoming this situation is self control.. Controlling my mind, actions.. And it is not easy.. I try and I fail, but what else can I do but to try again.. Thanks for finding time to read my posts, it really helps to share my thoughts with someone, just don't have anyone to talk about this.. Great people on this site had been a great support to me for all this time! You are awesome!

I don't think that I'll be prepared for new relationship ever.. This past brought me down and I completely lost faith in love and commitment.. It is not normal to have relationship without love and trust, and on the other hand I would allways be affraid of what might happen, like is he cheating me, is he thinking of someone else.. And I don't want that tension in my life, its like being in a war constantly, battle of forever.. I won't be able to let anyone near me and that is what relationships are all about in my oppinion.. I just needed someone to love and someone to love me, but even when I look around there is no such thing.. People are together for interests not because of feelings.. Only thing I regret is that I was involved in that relationship and because I let him hurt me..

It is so hard.. Whole of my life will go away and I won't be able to take it in my hands again.. People say that time will heal it but I think that you have to be special type of person to have strenght to turn the other way.. It takes to be cool, self oriented and to have as less emotions as it is possible. Otherwise you are knocked down without hope to stand up again

Because part of my life is gone.. He was here, we shared everything and in a moment he is leaving with someone else.. I've lost my self confidence, if I give someone love, attention, my time and it is not enough what more can I give.. It hurts so much not being worth of someones love.. Or even worse, having it and then loosing it..

Everyone around me is happy and in love, they have someone to love them.. I don't even go out any more, I feel like sixth finger with all those couples.. I'm not complaining about having all these time to spend with myself.. It is hell that someone else thinks that I'm such unlovable person and he left without regret, being now happy with someone else.. Going crazy

I'm really desperate, it's not just that I think this pain will never end, it is knowing that I'm becoming terrible person.. Yesterday I've hated everyone that is in love, argued with my friends that wanted to wish me happy Valentine.. It was almost like an insult to me because after being dumped and in hell since august I cannot stand sentences that have word "love" in it.. I've become so jealous at other people that have someone in their life.. Turn my head away when I see a couple on the street.. This situation made me so bitter that I don't even recognize myself.. I've spend all day yesterday thinking where he is, crying because he is with someone else.. Secretly I hoped that all past few months are bad dream and that I will wake up and he will be here by my side.. Just going insane.. I wish I have some kind of amnesia.. With all of these memories it is imposible to live normal way..

Those are just an excuses, like lack of communication in relationship.. Come on, lets get serious, cheating is not consequence, it is the cause.. Some people are just cursed to look over and over for their own imaginary pleasure that they never find, hurting other part that is left behind.. If someone likes flirting and got nothing against cheating then a priori good communication is not possible.. That is my own experience and those are situations I see around me.. Relationships break down because there is one that loves and there is other one that although he or she has boyfriend/girlfriend keeps looking further whats on market.. And eventually goes away and breaks the heart that loved him.. You know what is the saddest part? They usually have happy life collecting other peoples love wherever they go.. I think it is their attitude towards the life that makes them love just themselves leaving empty shells behind.. It should be illegal to do that.. Normal persons can overcome problems and bring communication and understanding back.. It is so silly saying " Oh you know, you don't understand me so I cheated on you"..

One more victim of love.. I'm trying to recover from a bad relationship, being dumped by a cheating ex.. And I'm not doing well.. It is not easy proces and some people can save themselves quickly, but others like me, sink deeper every day.. Stay close to your friend, be by his side if he wants to talk or comfort him if he cries.. Maybe proffesional help isn't bad idea too, because sometimes it just won't go away, man needs proffesional guidance to bring his life back.. If we would be able to analyse situation with objectivity then there wouldn't be any reason for sadness.. But we can be very smart when it is about giving advices to someone else but we can't save our own life.. We know that ex isn't worth of our tears and we know that we deserve better one, and that if ex was that great he or she would still be here.. But part of our life is gone and it takes time to fill the emptines..