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papalazarou

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Everything posted by papalazarou

  1. papalazarou
    To be honest the bloke is a C U Next Tuesday.
  2. papalazarou
    If you met her or rang her then thats exactly what I mean. For the FIRST meeting anyway. I agree you want to get to the bottom of it but maybe on the second or third time you meet. Furthermore she may start the ball rolling herself and you may not have to say anything!
  3. papalazarou
    Give it a couple of weeks. I understand it can take that long for anti depressants to work. Hang on in there...
  4. papalazarou
    Before the invention of email or internet it would have been a letter or a phone call. Maybe you could send her a christmas card with a little note?
  5. papalazarou
    Thats right it isnt. Whilst those are the 5 stages...you could be bouncing between them all for awhile before moving on completely.
  6. papalazarou
    Icarus When you say test the water...what are you hoping for???
  7. papalazarou
    Well maybe she hasnt changed it. But then again its only been what four days. Maybe she only looks at it weekly. I know for a fact I look at my hotmail acct about once a week! Also I hardly look at it during the weekend as well! I still think you should give a her a call tho!
  8. papalazarou
    Yes thats right! Also alot of these free email things keep the account active indefinitely or a long time. Hotmail for instance i think is 6 months before they close it if you havent used it in that time...
  9. papalazarou
    You may not need anti depressants but maybe a good sedative to help you sleep. I see where you are coming from dnozzle I really do with my "ex" she also has depression. A guy on here (Yoley) told me to visit here removed[/i] Furthermore I have learnt to be as unobtrusive as possible. At the moment its working. In a month and a half its gone from "Im a mess, I dont want to see you, find someone else, I cant deal with the stress" to "I love you so much, I hate not being near you, I miss you lying next to me"... It probably helped that I did NC for a little while and let her come to me as it were.
  10. papalazarou
    It is of course possible that in those three months she has changed her email address... I just think that by giving them a call shows confidence. Of course you need to exercise self control!
  11. papalazarou
    I suppose it really depends what you want out of it. I mean you never know you may meet and she could say Ive missed you terribly, where did we go wrong, lets get back together! On the other hand she may say nothing at all. I think you will know you have healed if you communicate with her and get either no response or a negative response and it does not affect you. You just shrug your shoulders and say "it was worth a try". I wouldnt call it an exit interview. Maybe not even talk about the relationship at first. Just meet up and have a laugh. That will show her you have changed as well. Testing the water in my book would be to see whether she is comfortable to meet up with you.
  12. papalazarou
    Agree 100%. Those that do NC to bring back their "ex" tho miss the point and I agree thats not part of the healing process. You do NC for you so you can heal. Once healed then by all means open communication. Especially if the other person is willing to talk.
  13. papalazarou
    Dont worry mate everyone has "relapses". Just try and do better next time thats all...
  14. papalazarou
    Pisces You do realise that you have advocated No Contact!!!! The idea is that you sufficiently heal - for some people this might be days fr some weeks or months. I agree if there was no contact forever then of course you would never get back together. But you need NC to help you heal so when you do contact them or they contact you, you are in a position of strength having "got yourself together" and not do anything irrational and can have a reasoned adult discussion.
  15. papalazarou
    Yep weight loss, depression, anxeity to name but three.
  16. papalazarou
    You should ONLY call her when you are not going to talk about the "relationship" or all heavy heavy stuff. If she is suffering from depressions she really really doesnt need it. You need to do NC for yourself and her. Let her dictate the pace but in the meantime get on with your things. Once you have healed then go ahead call her - be the person that provided enjoyment in her life. I guarantee if you call her know you wont be able to help yourself talking about your relationship....and that it not a good idea.
  17. papalazarou
    Congratulations!!! This board needs success stories to show what can be done!!!
  18. papalazarou
    Oh thats good then in that case. Maybe in a few days you could ring her (but dont mention the email unless she does) to wish her a merry xmas and maybe invite her out for a drink/coffee etc. Its good that there has been no anger. At least it means that she will feel comfortable talking to you - by that I mean at least she knows that she wont be getting anger or abuse when she picks up the phone!
  19. papalazarou
    I would say NC until she is completely over the other guy.
  20. papalazarou
    Hmmm. I think I would have given her a ring to say hello and if she was pleasant then you could have invited her out for a drink. maybe the email was a bit too heavy? By that I mean asking if anything changed etc etc. It needs to be light and funny!
  21. papalazarou
    Very true. I remember when (4 years ago) my ex wife had an affair and I lost everything. When I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. House, Car, Kids (albeit I do see them at weekends) etc etc. I also had a crap job. 4 years ago now seems like a lifetime. But I built myself back up. I used to live at my parents after the split now I own my own flat, have a decent job and more friends following the split! I also have a new g/f who I love very much indeed - although she is currently being treated for depression but thats another story on another thread.
  22. papalazarou
    I would agree thereforeeee the best NC is to just do it instead of announcing it. Also by announcing it you are effectively saying "I dont want to see you again" which kind of defeats the object. If after a period of NC they really want you or care for you then they WILL make contact. Hopefully by then you will be strong enough to deal with it having been healed sufficiently. If they say why havent I heard from you, you can say "I was just giving you the space you said you wanted" I believe they will respect that. I believe there is hope. I had something similar so I took a step back (kind of forced to because she was pushing me away) and it seems to be working with me not being in her face.
  23. papalazarou
    Amen to that.
  24. papalazarou
    As Superdave says when they say they need spsace THEY NEED SPACE. Give them wall the space they want. No Contact.
  25. papalazarou
    Disappear means exactly what you have done. You cannot help parking outsde your own house! As blender says no you need to do what YOU want to do.
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