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papalazarou

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  1. papalazarou
    From a personal point of view if I was the dumper and I was having second thoughts then I would ask if they were interested in getting back together. If they said no I would respect that decision. If I was the dumpee and I wanted to try again then I would wait a little while and then make contact to see whether they wanted to try again. Either way a period of NC is good....
  2. papalazarou
    You certainly do deserve more respect. You are not over reacting. Lets be honest what he is saying is "well I will go out with you and these other women and if I dont like these other women then I will go out with you". So you are what second, third choice? A back up if he doesnt hit it off with someone else? I would say that you are not standing for it and if thats what he wants then he quite clearly doesnt love you as much as you think or as much as he might say he does.
  3. papalazarou
    Shes leading you on and doing you a merry dance mate. By all means spend all this money on her. At the end of the day whilst you could say you did all you can, you will have a lighter wallet and a broken heart.
  4. papalazarou
    If she really wanted you back she would contact you. NOTHING would stop her. NOTHING. If you call her you will be boosting her ego and after the call you will be no better off. Maybe worse as it could end in an argument. As for too busy for a relationship...that is womanese for I dont want him around me at the moment.
  5. papalazarou
    Be strong. I kind of know what you are going thru and it hurts as I replied on your other post. At the moment I am trying to keep myself busy by whatever means possible so I dont dwell on anything for too long. I know what you mean about the photo, my "ex" did the same and she took her engagement ring off. Its kind of because they have depression they want to make a clean break of everything. My "ex" is has said before she is in a bad place at the moment. As superdave would say now is the time to focus on YOU. Thats all you can do.
  6. papalazarou
    Good luck. I hope it works for you. If it doesnt work will you then go NC?
  7. papalazarou
    HBP I too have had something similar (tho not the same). I posted a similar problem and I got this advice. I have to say that website helped enormously. My story is here re my "ex" depression:
  8. papalazarou
    I would do it face to face. That way you would know whether they want to get back with you or not. For something like this texts, emails or whatever is very wishy washy.
  9. papalazarou
    You know what she sounds just like my sort of ex at the moment. Especially the bit about liking gifts and then "throw it back in her face". Also that she wont open up. You feel unappreciated. I know I did. However she hasnt said I need to make her fall in love with me again. Regrettably since then my g/f has been diagnosed with quite bad depression. I didnt realise that you only knew these "buddies" for about a year. I would say your true mates are the ones you went to the cinema with. I have friends that I have known for a year. My true friends are those that have been with me thru lots of sh1t. Divorce, breakups etc and have been around for many years. Anyway it sounds at the moment that you are both point scoring and probably its a good thing to carry on with your NC until such time as you can discuss sensibly. The conversation that you had does sound like an argument and I can bet if you were face to face you would be shouting!
  10. papalazarou
  11. papalazarou
    You can still "date" others you dont have to sleep with them. It will probably be good for you to get back into the swing of things. I love my ex dearly. But at the same time Im not passing up the opportunity to date/flirt/chat up ladies because there may come a time when there is no chance of reconciliation. Mine is a little more complicated because she is suffering from depression. No, dont call her. She knows how to get hold of you if she wanted to contact you.
  12. papalazarou
    Be careful it sounds like she might be using you...where NC would work is that you are doing everything that she does not expect you to do i.e not contacting her. However NC is not for game playing.
  13. papalazarou
    But are they going to talk behind his back? I know my mates wouldnt. If you really think they would then as Keefy says dont go and they are not true friends. BUT if you know they would not then do it. Of course you have to fake it. But I tell you what I bet you "faking it" and being "happy" will make her more intrigued than you not showing up...she may even respect you for it.
  14. papalazarou
    Well yes absolutely...
  15. papalazarou
    Maybe you are!!!!
  16. papalazarou
    Speaking as a bloke I would have to agree with this!
  17. papalazarou
    I know its going to be awkward but then there is no reason why you should put your life on hold. Anyway who is to say that she may feel uncomfortable about you being there and not go or leave early anyway? Furthermore it will show that you are strong and confident. And women respect and dare I say like this in a man. If you do see her make sure she sees a strong, confident you. Easier said than done I know. You can still do NC after tonight.
  18. papalazarou
    Hmm. Well this is purely my own personal point of view but having male "friends" contacting you at this moment in time is not recommended while you are trying to reconcile. Of course it depends on the amount of times they do. If your phone is "exploding" with contact then I would tell your friends you are concentrating on your relationship. They will understand if they are a true friend. If they do not then I would say they are not a true friend of yours and I would question their motives. I would also say the same applies to him as well! I speak from bitter experience unfortunately.
  19. papalazarou
    You go. They are YOUR friends after all. You cant sit at home thinking what if. Furthermore I dont think your friends would be talking about you in a derogatory way behind your back. I know I wouldnt and I would like to think my mates wouldnt either. I think Supedave posted something along the lines of - if you do see her you be nice, smile, pleasant but dont talk about the split or anything heavy. Keep it light and funny.
  20. papalazarou
    My answer to that and I have seen it before is that you answer the call or text or email with "do you want to get back together/try again". If the answer is "no" or "dont know" then you simply say (something along the lines of) please dont contact me again until you have changed your mind.
  21. papalazarou
    Are you in NC or LC. If LC then fine if NC then I wouldnt recommend it...
  22. papalazarou
    So do you think that maybe that six week period of NC helped get you back together? By that I mean you and him so you could both get some perspective on things?? I must admit I do agree with NC but I also appeciate that someone at somepoint has to bite the bullett and make the first move. I would say the timing of holding out an olive branch depends on the circumstances of the split?
  23. papalazarou
    I propbably cant put it the way SD would but I think it would mean focusing on yourself and your friends and your interests. thereforeeee by the time the email does arrive you may have built up a couldnt care less attitude because you are happier in yourself. thereforeeee it doesnt matter because you dont need him for your happiness.
  24. papalazarou
    Yoley... Thank you for that website. I shall digest the information. In the brief time that I have looked at the site...it appears that what she is saying to me is not uncommon. I love her dearly so I will keep in touch with her...but I suppose it will be when she wants to so it looks like option 2 at the moment. Im not in a mood to date anyone else at the moment tho!!!
  25. papalazarou
    Yoley I too am in a similar position. Girl I met 8 months ago is now suffering from depression and as a result wants to push me away. Reason for it is she cant cope with her kids (from a prev relationship) she has a huge debt, hates her job, dad in intensive care...i could go on. However I find it funny that you want to push away the one you are supposed to love??? Surely it would be the opposite? "Give me time to sort my head out I dont know what I want. Can we still be friends at the moment?" Those options that you summarised keep going thru my head too. I have tho made steps to get my own life back on track. Im moving ino my flat again (as I had a tenant in there and they leave end of November) I told her I want her removed rm my account and want the debit card back as well as want to pick up the rest of my stuff... Why are you treating it as final she says? Because I need to get on with my life....but I love her so much...I dont think she is dating others or anything like that as its only been a few days. Do I wait? Do I do option 1/2/3?
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