Lemoncake

Lol wow that was a pretty amazing post good advice.

I'm not sure how to handle it either.. in my head the worst idea is " * * * * what if he's actually trying to get rid of me..." The panic instinct .. as pathetic as it sounds is for me to beg, maybe bring up old memories, sympathy, I tried that in the past. And.. it's gotta sink in that I should never need to ask that person to be with me... Not only that but I looked like an attention seeking girl, and in real life before him I was very confident and able, he was the shy type. I want to work on my personality, my habbits. I take my frustration out on the road, just jogging for hours, avoiding msn. I come home, take a bath, pamper myself like a right girl making me feel good about my body and myself. And when I'm not moping and wondering about him.. I've got a glowing smile on myself because I feel good about me. And that attracts attention. Lifes wonderful and the worlds massive.. how can this really be our soulmates..? And if they're not, how much time have we wasted wondering why we're not good enough.

I'm in the exact situation as you except the boyfriends the one avoiding me and I'm trying my hardest to contact him. I eventually gave up, after talking to so many males and putting myself in his shoes, I would be thinking.. "She's just so needy" "She'll be there if things go wrong" "She'll always be there anyway" "I need space" and they're right... I'm feeding an ego. My advice to you, which I'm working on also, is to go out with your friends and distract your mind. Don't long into msn or whatever it is for a while to check up if she's online, because believe me you'll re-add her. Just get some space and think of yourself as you and not a couple.. do things that make you smile, and eventually, she'll get in contact. If anything surprised. And if she doesn't, you'll find a new distraction and the pain will of began to fade, and it'd answer your question "Is she already emotionally out of this?" We can do this, whatever the outcome. Smile.

Aw thats a terrible thing to say, this man obviously loves you... there's something about you he doesn't find in anybody else. I'd kill for that... My boyfriend of 3 years has spent the last 3 years on and off dumping me, he'll go off, get with someone else and come back. I love him to much to leave but I know in my heart I'm second best to anything. I'm a size 6 with a tiny overall frame and I hate it, I've never been considered as sexy, only cute.. or kidlike. I get pushed around, I can't defend myself, I get called ill looking, being model size isnt great, I want a bust of a handfull!!! An * * * to hold on to! I don't even fit into a 34A bra!!! I hate feeling not good enough, I get that every day when I see the women he's been with in the street, but has your guy ever given you the impression that you're not good enough or are you the one judging? You've got a lot to be thankful for from what I've just read, I don't know the whole story or the inside outs, but I'd switch situations with you happily.

Thanks for your advice, I'm taking things slow and trying my best not to let my insecurities eat my insides. We're getting along.. No arguments yet. It's sad, my parents don't approve, my friends will be so mad Buutt I want to keep making this mistake until we get it right.

I've done a very good job at keeping them away and have made them aware that I want to be back with Dave. But there's a lot of competition on my side too, so many girls are after him, he's even doing a Toni and Guy catwalk thing again soon. I know I'm green with envy but I'd hate to lose him... ...and I forgot to mention. He has been known to cheat once or twice...

Oh my god, I just posted a very similar thread! You should read it, we have the exact same problem! I know it's really difficult, you love them so much you can't possibly imagine turning your back away from someone you feel to be so perfect for you, but things are so difficult. I was with Dave for two and a half years, during our last breakup which took place 3 months ago we've hooked up on onenight stands, both promising to get back together but he ends it all of the sudden because males talk to me. It's really petty and really fragile. Dave took this breakup to go out and experiment with new girls, as much as I hated it at the end of everything he still wanted me over them. But because there was girls... arguments are easily caused. Because you work with your fella you obviously keep a close eye on what he's doing and who he talks to, you don't suppose there are any other temptations around him? I know it's really horrible to ask yourself that question but I'm going on experience. Especially if he's causing the arguments for no reason... it's an indication theres something deeper going on.

From a females point of view, falling in love with somebody takes time. Sure an instant attraction helps give you that push to go out and have the balls to ask her out on a date or for her number, but the emotional attachment comes much later on. What you should look out for is how easy the conversation flows, whether or not you enjoy her company and would actually want to spend more time with that person. And it'll develop over time. Just find someone who "interests" you and work your way up. If you get to the stage where you'd prefer to remain friends be truthful and direct. If you'd like to become something more make your feelings known. If she becomes a girlfriend good for you, but only time will tell =]

My where to start. I was in a very intense relationship for 2 and a half years. We had a joint savings account, we went through college together and planned to move in together. We argued like couples do, earlier in the relationship he used dumping me as a strong enough word to hurt me. Both being fiery tempered it'd take a while but we'd be brought back together like nothing ever happened. Forgiveness came easily and my friends and family didn't understand it. We had a massive blow up fight about 3 months ago, he was suddenly terrified to move out, lots of reasons behind the breakup but he ended it. During those 3 months we slept with new people on the rebound, massive mistakes but always safe. But once every 2 weeks or so we'd end up on a one night stand together, where we both swore to make our relationship work. We'd see each other, and see how things went. Then out of the blue one of us would get defensive over the partners we've had during the breakup. Childish I know, we act like kids sometimes. We recently went home together again, my friends and family are suspicious but we had such a good time spending that little amount of time together as a couple again. It wasn't purely sexual it was emotional, we missed each other so much and now I need some serious male advice. We're on fragile ground right now, I want things to progress and I want to be with him, despite the mistakes we've made. The last few times we've broken off the idea of seeing eachother because other males (that I've been seeing) are still contacting me and he got really insecure. How do I handle this?