itsallgrand

You just have a lot of sexist beliefs Hanna. Maybe challenge them ?

I'm not buying your excuses for being hypocritical and controlling.

I have a woman's brain too. I'm not buying it sister. Lol.

Why do you even have access to go through his comp/phone history? I read through a few times in case I was missing something here because to me it just looks like you are treating this guy poorly. Demanding he not watch porn even though you do. Going through his stuff. You said you are his first gf so maybe he doesn't know any better because most people I know would be out the door so quick if someone went through their stuff to snoop like this.

I love Couples Retreat. It's one of my veg on the couch after a long week go tos ironically lol. Question...how much time as a couple did you two have prior to your first daughter? Were you a couple that did lots together? Strong connection? Friendship?

Happy mother's day. I hope you can have a nice rest of the day with your family. I know it's probably like a dirty word to you, but maybe you guys need to sit down and work out a budget. My SO hated that concept at first but he came from a hell of a lot more money than I did lol. Now he loves it because it's clear cut boundaries and expectations. The budget always allows for x amount of cash for both of us to spend without having to check in with the other. I think that's vital as it keeps things from feeling super restrictive. It's an idea. Prevents the " hey where did you spend this? Hey I thought you paid this?!". Hope things look up and you have a great day.

Abnormally hot lately. Predicted to go to 30 C today. In the middle of May. It's not normal and I'm in trouble if this keeps up. I'm already red!

I hope it goes well !

Just lazy!! Can't be buggered. Very frustrating.

I hear you!! Lately what is frustrating me to no end is not being able to get a human. And when you finally do, they have no idea what they are doing and hang up on you rather than at least let me know how to contact someone who does. So I call over and over until I get someone who will at least try ! It's all the way from high to low. Asking for the most basic things is like asking for a kidney it seems.

I think you should spend some time together soon and get a better sense of these things quickly. No point dragging out a relationship that's long distance if after spending more time together there's huge value and moral differences. If you are looking for long term and kids, cut to the chase as fast as you can. I usually knew pretty quickly if big differences were deal breakers. Is it the lack of in person time together that has you on the fence?

I'm just going to reply here rather than have the big quote I am replying to ! It sounds like you are looking for someone who wants an equal partnership, someone who can bring you out of your comfort zone a bit and has her own things to bring to the table, and someone family orientated but not in religious sense that that term is sometimes used? All good healthy things. And no, not too much to look for either. Not so easy to find the person who is that and right match, but not unattainable either. I wish I had more to offer by the way of advise. Honestly, I feel like I could easily be in your shoes. I don't know how I happened to meet someone I have been in a relationship this long for. I felt like I found a Unicorn finding a man in his late 30s (at the time) who didn't have kids, yet valued family and community, and was looking for the same as me and we fit. The person you are looking for is going to feel the same way, she will know she's struck gold. Don't give up.

First I was like Holy crap, it's Coily, we are middle aged now! I remember you from way back. You've always struck me as a person who is solid in themselves and knows who they are and is not afraid to be that. And I love that about you. I knew you'd never settle for just anyone ever. I am just wondering, if you could share your thinking of the best relationship you've been in, basically what about made it the best? And the worst, what about that?

I failed 😞 I can go back at the end of the month, and I will, but I'm disappointed in myself. Usually I go in knowing I've got it nailed but this time no. And my anxiety about that got the best of me. Oh well, just keep going. Not everything has to be on the first shot, right?! I'll just work harder.

I have a test tomorrow afternoon. I'm nervous about it. I've been visualizing when not practicing. Wish me luck. Trying to go in confident.

You are worried about yourself right and getting the guy back. No mention at all about feeling bad about driving drunk. No thought there that you may have maimed or killed someone. The cops gave you an opportunity to get yourself straight and not have to deal with real consequences. That was a judgement call, can't say I agree with it, but you got it. Will you waste it or maybe take the neon sign wake up call to stop making excuses for your own behaviors ?

I agree with this. If you aren't sure what you really want yet , take your time and date a lot of different people until you do. You keep saying "I have lots of other options" but do you get that choosing no one is an option too? You don't have to pick from what's in front of you right now . It's something I noticed when I was younger. A lot of my female friends leaped right away to the first guys that showed interest. You can hang back, take a lay of the land, choose at your own pace.

Naw I don't think you are a conspiracy theorist . The writing has been on the wall for a while. I think most people see what's going on but most feel powerless to do anything or even scared to say anything. And a lot are just trying to claw by now so not much time in a day. And I think too Canadians have been pretty comfy being complacent since we had such a great quality of life for so long. A bit of the "it doesn't impact me " going on.

I've never seen things so bad here in my lifetime.

Poor guy can't get a break.

I was a bit of a hard ass about men having their own place when I was dating. I would not have seen your situation as a red flag. It's temporary after your divorce, you are helping care for your parents, and you have a plan for the coming years. Someone may not find your situation compatible with theirs, but you aren't a red flag. Your choices say someone who values self sufficiency and family.

You are feeding yourself the most toxic "food" concerning interactions and perceptions of women. Frankly dude, if a man said to me he formed his feelings and thoughts about women based on porn actresses and escorts, I'd be permanently put off no matter what else he had to offer. You are basically crippling yourself from having healthy new interactions. You are basing your thoughts of women on sex workers. They are sex workers!! They have sex and perform for the cash, not out of preference for the guy. It doesn't even make sense. You definitely need someone to help pull yourself out of this self hurting behavior.

Yeah I agree with you. It's a weird little control trip. Challah is delicious. We all have our indulgences.

I totally understand. I'm sorry you are in the thick of it. I hope it settles soon too.

Holy crap. I saw the strike on my feed. That's crazy that it is impeding access on and off base!