LegalGirl2009

I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. But about 8 months ago he cheated on me so we took time apart from August-November but i decided to give it another try. (We never stopped communicating though and he claimed to be working on himself to get me back) I was visiting this week and as I was packing I found a condom wrapper under his nightstand. I know it is NOT from me. He is claiming its from when we broke up back in September and the wrapper was left there. But I’m almost 100% positive I have looked under that nightstand before because I plug my phone in there and have dropped things under it before. I believe he cheated on me again. But I didn’t see it with my eyes and just don’t have that 100% certainty. Any insight?

Hi there! I am currently in a long distance relationship. (I (31) met him (38) while visiting friends out of state) We started dating back in January so it’s relatively new and since we’re long distance, we’ve only spent a few weeks together in person. We have fun together and the relationship has been smooth so far but our values/morals/politics are complete opposite. We do not see eye to eye on many many topics. I don’t usually think differences are deal breakers but this one is heavy. We talked about starting a family/marriage in the future and now I am not sure how we could raise children if we don’t agree on much. I would also be the one relocating if our relationship makes it. But I am not the biggest fan of the state he lives in so it would be a major move for me. Just looking for different perspectives on the situation. Thank you!

This was a big fear of mine. I have been in situations where they don't want a relationship but end up finding that with someone else. And it sucks. But I wouldn't keep in contact with him if that was the case. That scenario is probably likely to happen. I mean he will eventually date someone. Just not me.

I try to think of this scenario: let's say one day he finally wants to be with me. would I really want to be with him? after a year of chasing him? no. it would not be healthy. but for some reason, the illusion of what could be keeps me around. even though I know the reality would be so different! I've just had horrible dating experiences and latch onto the wrong ones. I have blocked him before and eventually I unblocked him and things just went back to normal. I need to stop allowing that to happen 😭 I need to fill my time with more stuff and things to do. I am NOT kind to myself lol I guess this is the perfect time to work on my attachment and self image issues.

Thank you. I know I probably sounds desperate. I know my life will not end if I block him but I have never been good at cutting ties with people. I appreciate your kind explanation.

I don't think telling him would help me at this point. If I open up a discussion then I might just fall back into it again. I think it's best to ghost/block. I am too convenient for him and he knows I will be around.

Thank you. You are so right. Sometimes hearing it from a stranger makes it more clear.

Well if there wasn't a problem, I wouldn't be posting for advice lol. I think I obviously have some attachment issues that I need to work through. If I was seriously dating someone new, I wouldn't keep in contact with him. But I am very single 😅Blocking him would be best.

Oh, I know he doesn't want to be with me, I am not trying to convince him. I am just trying to get over him. I will use the rubber band trick though.

Hi there, I started dating someone over a year ago but he had to move across country for work a few weeks after we met. We never defined the relationship but kept in touch everyday. As time moved on I liked him more and more but I could tell he wasn't looking for a relationship. We still continued talking, flirting, and then I actually visited him and it was amazing. I left liking him more obviously but he still didn't want anything serious and I can understand and accept that, even though I would like to be in a relationship. But I cannot move on from him for some reason. He still texts me almost every day. I still actively date and try to find someone but my feelings for him are stronger. I know him and I will never become anything more than what we are but how do I get over him? I have tried not responding but my willpower is lacking. I've told him to give me space or leave me alone but we always just end up going back to our normal.