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About Me

Found 5 results

  1. It's a regular friday night and I feel like venting so here we go! At school I'm quite sociable. I talk to many people and have a large amount of friends. Even to my acquaintances I'll wave and talk to them if they're lonely and will always include them in conversations but no one seems to do the same for me. When the teacher says to partner up, no one comes up to me first and I end up being picked if there's no one else left. When I had recess back in elementary school I'd always walk around so people could think I wasn't lonely. I only got asked to play with people a handful of times. I never got asked to have a playdate with my other classmates and the last time I got invited to a birthday party was 4 years ago. Not to mention that my last birthday party was in second grade and I don't know who to invite because I'm not sure anyone will show up. I always wear a bright smile on my face and am constantly giggling only so people don't become suspicious. I see my friends posting photos of each other hanging out, talking about how fun they had. I'm not desperate to hang out, but it'd be nice to get a invitation once in a while. One instance of this is when all my friends gathered at a park a block away from house but didn't invite me-they know I live right by the park, but still I was left out. Another thing is that people rarely text me. They only text me for "streaks" or homework help. When I do text people they'll leave me on delivered for hours. I try to make conversation and will always let people talk about their interests to me. I have friends, I know I do. But realising how I've never hung out with someone outside of school makes me contemplate that. Even my whole family has a running joke that I have no friends. I'm not quite sure what to think, any help or if you have a similar experience and have tips on what to do would mean a lot to me.
  2. I feel lonely. I just really want to let it out. Been feeling under the weather for quite a while now, even before the year started. I am 33 years old and I've been living alone for a good 4 years. Been single for a length of time. As an introvert I love the freedom of living alone, but lately, I get so tired easily all the time (even after getting a deep long hours of sleep). I've been doing retail therapy, art, music, movies and food and it frustrates me how at the end of the day I'd feel the same. (But as of the moment I ordered a mediterranean dessert to this social media platform just so I would look forward to something tomorrow). These stuff use to work for me. But now, it just make me feel ugly and irrelevant. I really don't have anything to look forward to. I feel old and unaccomplished. Even resting becomes too exhausting. I often wake up confused of the date and time. I guess I just have to let it pass by. I just have to feel lonely. I mean it's not like I'd die or something (I guess this is what I'd be hearing if I talk to my friends/family). It's just a sucky nauseating stomach wrenching sort of feeling. I feel lonely and it sucks.
  3. A bit long, sorry, but I need help from you guys on this. I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years. We always get along, we are together everyday and we argue about minimal stuff like anyone else. He has an older brother who is egotistical, he only thinks of himself, always does what he likes, is awkward sometimes and once was about to get physical with me because I was cheering for another fighter in the UFC than him (who his fighter lost). If it wasn't for my boyfriend stepping in who knows what he would've done. The last straw though was at a bbq, one summer day, he refused to let me help with the bbq when I asked nicely saying: "my girlfriend is coming, I want to impress her", when you're offering help. I was sad at first but then got mad at him for being so rude and said it infront of everyone to let him have it (he deserved it imo) and left. He always does this when she is involved, he needs to put on a show. He's a fake pos, he has nothing to his name at 27, barely can do school, and he thinks he can boss others around. He has even told my boyfriend many times: "this isn't your house, you don't live here anymore" when he doesn't either, and it's his families' house. This is a brief summary, there is much more, point to say he's an asshole. We confronted him once about this and he said he back talked us to everyone and wasn't even sorry for how he behaved. So we cut him out and didnt speak to him. In the present, we wanted to be at his house for holidays but he might've been there too so I told my boyfriend the best way is we go when he's not there to avoid trouble. He's stubborn and thinks we should still confront this guy, who won't change, because "avoiding isn't a long term solution, so now we sabbotage our free will to come on the chance he will be there?" He thinks we should confront him again. I believe people like this don't change, and you don't keep them in your life, they are toxic. We have our own place and don't need to be here at all even, other than to see his younger bro and his parents. I really need people's opinions on this, do you agree with me that if you've confronted someone and they refuse to change no point in keeping a narcissist like that in your lives? My boyfriend doesn't talk to him or like him but he has naiveness with people (he thinks he's not). I've been screwed over by people like this and know better. Today I left their house because his mom, who is geniunely a psycho, never discplined her kids and will defend them even if they are wrong said to me: "just forgive him its the moral thing to do" and him nearly hitting me as "an incident". I literally started off polite with her then lost it when she kept saying this crap. She's the type of person who interjects in others problems. The day it happened she had the nerve to tell me to stay at an event I was insulted at. I am livid and honestly I'm going crazy about this feeling like I'm alone in this... My boyfriend hates him fyi but idk what it is, he's naive or what, he can't see confronting again won't do anything. He says "I'm not going to do this not talking thing". Idk what to do... I've spent hours explaining and debating why with him and he agrees on everything exept how to deal with him. What would you do in my shoes? Thanks guys for anyone who answers honestly. My dad said no matter what happened the fact he didn't come with me was a really rude thing to do, to leave you're SO alone on new years (and with covid you cant go anywhere)...
  4. Hi I'm from the UK, in my early 20s and male. I've wanted to try and reach out about how I've been feeling for a long time now but never quite found the courage. The main feeling is just of a never-ending sadness and just feeling lost and lonely. My life has no direction, sure I have a career ahead of me and that's great but the rest of my life, the personal side, there's just nothing. I never have anything to look forward to, there's never anything exciting happening, I'm uninterested in everything and every conversation and I'm always worrying and worrying about the tiniest of problems and overthinking to the extreme where I fabricate social scenarios in my head that never will and never do happen. I'm agitated and upset when I don't feel in control of everything happening in my life, and I get upset when other people try to takeover things or reorganise things or try to tell me how I should do something. I've never been in a relationship but I'm in love with a friend but I don't even have the confidence to address my feelings with her. My confidence is rock-bottom I hate the way I feel and just seeing everyone else around me doing so well while I just struggle to keep up and I'm just so sick of feeling this way. I just feel like every time I try to be better I always fail. I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right topic/forum but I wondered if anyone ever felt this way and got through it or maybe if anyone has any advice or comments. thank you.
  5. Hi, I'm 23 years old and I have never had a boyfriend. Currently, I don't even have friends due to my social anxiety. I've lost my best friend after graduating from high school. She wanted to hang out with me and stay friends but I wanted to stop socialising and hide at home instead. That was around 2015. Then I started studying, I met a few people but there were always only fellow students to me, nothing more. Now due to Covid, I study and work from home and don't see anyone except for my parents and my brother. But the sad thing is, it really doesn't make any difference, it's not like I've been talking to other people before anyways. I can honestly say: Apart from my family, no one ***ing knows me. I mean, some people back from my school days or from work or uni may know my name but that's about it. Sometimes, it makes me sad but I know that I've wanted that the whole time. I've basically worked towards that by always fleeing from any possibly social interaction in the past. I've had so many chances but I always ran away from them. Other than the years before, I felt a lot different in 2020. I worked on myself a lot. I started to workout on my rowing machine, I got my driving licence... I am just a lot more motivated in general. And for some reason I started to really long for a partner. I know it's stupid to look for a partner in these times and it's stupid to think that someone like me, who has never had any sort of experience, could simply go and find someone who they feel comfortable around. There are so many aggravating factors but still, sometimes, I just feel like I'm not near as ugly or stupid to deserve this solitude. I'm sick of only having crushes on men but never being able to let things actually happen. I've always had that tendency to develop crushes on older guys. For example, I've had a crush on my driving teacher. I've had my final driving test a couple weeks ago and so I don't see him anymore, but I still dream about him every now and then. He wasn't even particularly good-looking, it was simply for the fact that he had a great, clever sense of humor and he was kind. I didn't want him to think I'm weird or stupid or ugly so that I barely talked. Now, the dumb thing is: I KNOW that we could have had great conversations. He always talked about random things and I wanted to talk to him the way I talk with my brother or my parents. I just wanted to be relaxed but I cared too much about his thoughts. So instead, I remained silent and boring... That's why I could probably never have a "soulmate": Whenever I would find someone who shares my sense of humor and interests, it would make me tense up and act weird. And so, the other person would never find out that I like them or that I am likeable as well. I feel so trapped... I feel comfortable being in my bubble but I feel lonely at the same time. I wonder why everyone on freaking earth is or has been in a relationship except for me. I feel like an alien. I don't know who I am, I don't know what others see in me... I just wait for this man who can see something special in me, you know, underneath the awkwardness and shyness and everything. Does anyone here have an advice or story that could help me? (Sorry for my English, I'm from Germany :))
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