Burning

Say what? I once dated a man that said "you'll do" when I asked him if he was happy with me. Whether he was joking or not was irrelevant to me. I dumped the bum immediately for saying such a hurtful and insensitive thing. He then stalked me for the next 2 years...all of a sudden I guess I was better than adequate.](*,) My advice to you...put as much distance between you and this guy asap. Take care of YOU. Burning...out

I have two daughters and a son. Both girls are adults now. The oldest one was very sensible. She had a long rope and I never worried about her. She would stay out on weekends till the wee hours. She was fine. The second one was quite emotionally challenged and quite a bit on the wild side (like her mother was). She had a short rope. I still worry about her. She had an 11:00 curfew. She still got into lots of trouble. I had to treat them differently to love them the same. One needed protection and the other didn't. I think it all depends on the child, not the parent. Maybe you are sensible and your parents trust you? Just a thought. Burning....out

Muscle soreness during or following exercise is due to the build up of lactaid acid. The pain may be immediate or delayed. If the pain is mild, then by all means, continue. If it is substantial, then STOP. After exercising for about 2 weeks, and with very gradual increases in the duration, intensity and frequency of you workouts, you won't be sore anymore.It is important to work alternate muscle groups on consecutive days and include low intensity exercise, such as walking, to your routine. I don't recommend stretching before your workout because your muscles are cold. Try doing a little bit of warmup first, then stretch. It is critical to stretch AFTER your workout. And remember, your muscles are not used to being stretched to the extent you are stretching them now. There are actually very, very minor tears in the muscles you are working and that is why it is important to KEEP working out, as long as the pain isn't severe. Best of luck. Burning...out

Then get into the sex industry and put being broke into perspective. BAD, BAD, BAD move. Burning](*,)

...are their problem. One thing I have learned in the school of hard knocks is that if people have a problem with something you are doing, it says a lot more about them than it does about you. If you are happy, enjoy it and forget about other people. Burning...out

Does violence on TV and in movies desensitize us to violence? Absolutely Does it CAUSE it...well, that's been debated forever. Studies have shown that people exposed to violence in the mass media are more likely to be violent. I am simply making the case that infidelity is similar. We still decide what is right and wrong...I am saying that we need to examine what we, as a society, accept from the mass media. It is up to all of to stand up for decency. Silence = consent. JMHO Burning...out

Cheating, unfortunately, is not black and white. Unless you have been there, you really don't understand. I was the cheater. Yes, it was completely stupid and selfish and I will certainly never try to justify it BUT...let's look at the Big Picture. Cheating is SO NOT discouraged by the mass media. Every time you turn on the TV or go to the movies or read the newspaper, magazine or novel you are confronted with it. I think it is similar to violence...it just loses its shock value after a while. Do any of us stand up against it? No...we continue to support the industries that condone it. We lap it up like we can't live without it then we scream bloody murder when someone cheats. How hypocritical is that? I won't even get into the whole issue of emotions.... Just some food for thought. Burning...out

I have never been on a forum where there is so much support and positive affirmation for each other. Thanks to all of you. Sadie... Sometimes I think my husband is more my daughter than she is mine! And for all intents and purposes...he is her DAD. No matter what I decide to do with this whole convoluted mess, he will always be her DAD. Neither of them would have it any other way. Have I waited too long? I know that people have said that my daughter needs to know for medical reasons...but does she need to know otherwise? I know this is going to sound really selfish...but if I felt I couldn't tell anyone then, can I tell them now? Oh, why are (some of us) so stupid when we are young??? Burning...out

I am deathly afraid of heights. When my kids were small, I would throw up if they were near the edge of a rail or something like that....yup, pretty bizarre. Burning...out

Hey everyone....I have an update. I saw the counsellor yesterday and I am starting to gain some insight. 10 years ago when I cheated, I was under immense pressure in my career. Last year while continuing to work full time at my professional career, I started a business which I manage in addition to my full time job. It is not uncommon for me to work 16 hours a day...not too different than my life about 10 years ago when I was having the affair. The pattern is that when I start to feel the weight of such immense pressure bearing down on me, I start to fantasize about an escape...and ANY fantasy will do. I have had thoughts about changing my identity and moving to some exotic island....and having thoughts about having an affair. The desire to cheat isn't a reflection on my marriage, or my husband or even my own sexuality. I thought I was trying to fill an unmet need. NOT so...I am trying to escape real life by living a fantasy! Wow...what an eye opener this was for me...and I am quite certain now that I don't want to cheat...I just want to reduce the pressure in my life. Thanks to all of you for your support and kind words...It is and can be very difficult to suppport someone who is tempted by infidelity and you have all been really, really good. Thanks again! Burning...out (not burning with desire like I thought!)

NW...I am your wife! No...not really but I am - figuratively speaking. I have a good husband and an average marriage...no better or worse than any other marriage. About 10 years ago, I left my husband following an affair that I was having. After going through Hell for a few years, we got back together even though he was at first reluctant due to the pain that I had put him through. Very recently, I have been having thoughts of infidelity again. Trust me, it has nothing to do with him. I am trying to analyze why I feel the need to cheat. People on this board have been good at trying to get me to figure it out...every thing from boredom to unresolved childhood abuse. I have been dealing with some mental health issues of my own and had some insight into my own situation...the last time I cheated was when I was under way too much pressure at work and the affair gave me an opportunity to escape into fantasy. I am now in the exact same situation with work pressures. I work full time plus own a business that I manage. As you can imagine, the pressures are immense. My counsellor helped me to realize that the affair that I wanted to have (with a man from my past that I haven't seen for many years) was just a way of escaping into fantasy. When I start to feel too much pressure in life, then I have the urge to change my identity and move away to some other, preferably exotic, locale. As you can see...this has nothing to do with my marriage, my husband or even my own sexuality. It does have everything to do with me and my reaction to stress. Problem is...affairs just add stress....they don't diminish it so it gets worse and the mental health problems increase...a vicious cycle. Fantasy is fine but it doesn't make a good parent or pay the mortgage. Of course I don't know you or your wife but could there be something to this for her? Just a thought... Burning...out

I know that my husband has never gotten over his first love....but by the same token, I have never gotten over mine either. My situation may be a bit more complex than most because I actually had my first love's child (and he doesn't know about it) so I think about him everyday and have for over 20 years. Kinda makes me wonder.... Burning

I want to clear up a misunderstanding.. As a fitness consultant, I weigh people everyday. People that are generally 5'5" and 116 pounds look like concentration camp victims...way too skinny. You look voluptous, curvaceous, etc. If you are 116 pounds, I am sorry, I did not mean it as an insult...it was actually meant as a compliment. When I reread my post, I suppose it did come accross as rude. Sorry! B

Very nice photo....very attractive girl. 116 pounds...I don't think so. I am a fitness consultant and while you have a very nice figure, you are not 116 pounds. Burning

Dear Gotta: My heart goes out to you in this tragic time...it will hit you. I want to share my story with you and maybe you will find some comfort in it. Several years ago after some serious relationship problems with my husband, I was completely and totally numb. I was so hurt that I was scared to feel anything...positive or negative. If I felt anything, I felt GUILTY somehow...it was very strange. Anyways, my Dad died in the midst of this and I didn't really feel anything. I loved my Dad very much but the reality of it didn't really hit me...until a couple of years later. Once I was through dealing with my other issues, I began the greiving process. I still love my Dad and miss him very much but time does help. While everyone does grieve differntly, I suspect you will go through the greiving process when you are ready. Take care of YOU. Burning