babypink61

Hi saxosu! I'm Asian and I've been together with my bf (he's white) for about a year now and he's the best thing that has ever happened to me! I was in your shoes once because all of my friends are Asian and so were my ex-boyfriends. I wasn't sure how my friends and parents would react to this at first but once I told them they were very supportive of our relationship! I also LOVE the fact that he embraces my culture! We love trying out new Asian restaurants and even talked about making trips to Asia someday! You need to realize that, yes, there will be ignorant ppl in this world that will look down upon inter-racial relationships, but WHO CARES what they think? It's my life and as long as I am happy then that's all it matters! If you really like this person and care for him, you def should go for it! Hope this helps! Good luck!!

Going on a break is a bad idea . . . i went on a break for two weeks with my boyfriend, made up for a week, and then broke things off again. Most of the ppl I've talked to end up breaking up with their boyfriends after their breaks. The longer the break, the longer she thinks she can carry on her life without you, so it might be a bad sign . . .

I think you should def tell him how you feel! I was in your shoes once! I knew for sure that I loved my boyfriend but was afraid to tell him how I feel because I didn't know he would say it back or not. Then finally one night while we were out at the bars my boyfriend (who was pretty buzzed at the time) told me that he loved me. I was shocked but at the same time bothered that he said it to me when he's drunk. He apologized later and said that he really loved me but wasn't sure what my feelings were so the only time he felt had the courage to do it was under the influence of alcohol. I know, not a great way of dealing with things, but at least I knew for sure. So maybe he loves too but was too scared to say it not knowing if you would feel the same way too?

This is coming from a female's perspective . . . I can TOTALLY understand how she feels because the same thing happened to me! And because he knew that I've had more partners than he had, I think he automatically assumed that he had gotten it from me. I felt really hurt by this because I felt like he thinks I'm "dirty" or something. Well turned out that it wasn't STD (thank god) and that he just had an allergic reaction to something. We had a talk about it later on and he apologized for assuming that I had given it to him. I don't really blame him though because it the same thing had happened to me, then I would've probably automatically assumed that he had given it to me. So I think I felt better about it after putting myself in his shoes . . . You should ask your girlfriend how she would've reacted if the situation was reversed . . .

It's not that I want to move on and not want him to . . . it's more like, along with having to deal with the pain of breaking up, I'm bothered by the fact that those two are hanging out while we were on break and I can't help but think that whether or not she did that with the ulterior motive of trying to get with him. And I'm getting paranoid about whether or not he ended things with me because of her. I just think that if she's really a friend that she should respect the fact that we had just broken up and that she should keep her distance from him until things smooth over between us . . . because right now I'm just so hurt that I don't think I want to know if there's anything going on between them . . . does it make sense? Am I turning into a jealous psychotic ex?

My boyfriend broke up with me this morning after our 11 month relationship. I'm so sad and hurt. I know it's probably for the better because he has been making me feel like crap for the past couple of weeks (we went on a break for two weeks but made up). There's still one thing that's bugging me though. My ex just recently moved to a new city that's about an hour away from me and he didn't have a lot of friends in the area. He met a couple of new people through me. And I guess him and this one girl that I'm sort of friends with hung out a couple of times. I didn't think too much of it until this past week. I had found out from someone else that while we were on a break they went out to a dinner together with some other people. And I didn't think it was such a big deal so I just kinda joked around and said "oh seems like he's hanging out with my friends more often than I am." But I guess the word got back to the girl and she emailed me and apologized about the whole thing and how she was shocked that my ex doesn't tell me when they hang out. In a way I got kinda of offended because it seems like she was mocking the lack of communication between my ex and I. But I think she totally over-reacted because she sent an email to my ex and told him that they can no longer hang out together because she feels that I will be bothered. But after I emailed her back and told her that it's ok, she then emailed him again and was like, oh everything is cool. She doesn't care, so I guess we can hang out again. My ex told me about this after I brought it up with him. And I told him that I would probably feel uncomfortable knowing that they still hang out with each other alone. I guess in a way I'm feeling a bit insecure about the whole thing because I had heard about how she had a history of stealing other people's boyfriends while they were still together with their girlfriends. And that my boyfriend is exactly the type of guys she would go for. I guess I am just a bit paranoid. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I emailed her and told her that I would probably feel uncomfortable with her still hanging out with him at this point, and I apolozied and said that I hope she will understand. Am I being too selfish?

Need some suggestions here . . . My bf and I have been together for almost a year now and we've always done the same things when we're hanging out together . . . watch TV, play video games, go to the movies, bars, etc. But I have a feeling that my bf is getting a bit bored with this. When I'm not working, I'm the type of person that likes to stay in and read a book, or watch TV, that's kind of my way of relaxing. But I do go out with friends on weekends to the bars and whatnot. My bf, on the other hand, is more active. When he's not working he likes to be out and about doing stuff like playing basketball with his friends or something. He hates staying in to watch TV . . . he thinks it's a waste of time I guess I need some suggestions on something new and different to try in order to "spice up" our relationship. We've done the museum thing too, he doesn't like it but he goes with me cuz I like it. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated!

I don't think her not inviting you in was a bad sign . . . I dun usually invite guys into my place after the first date. And yeah, like everyone else said, you should def call her to ask her out again . . . I think you should wait after a day or two though so it doesn't seem like you're being pushy or desperate. Sometimes girls like it when guys initiates the second date.

I'm sure you're friends are just being overly protective, since you've just met the guy. I would probably react the same way too, though I wouldn't be rude about it. I just don't want my friends to get hurt, especially that they won't know anybody in the new city. But I like how you have a positive attitude about the whole thing and that if it doesn't work out, you're still willing to stick around and see what's out there. I hope everything works out for you!

My boyfriend of 11 months and I were on a break for about two weeks and then he came over last night to break up with me. I convinced him to give me a second chance and we discussed his reasons for his decision. One thing he said was that he didn't feel like that I open up to him as much as I should. He feels that he didn't really have a connection with me because we never really sat down and had deep conversations or have heart-to-hearts like other couples do. I didn't think this is true because we've had numerous conversations regarding our past, families and even just on relationships in general . . . but I guess he was expecting more than that. I do admit that sometimes I find it difficult for me to communicate with my boyfriends. When I get upset at my bf, I tend to just keep it to myself and just shut off. I'll be like that for a day or two to clear my head and then talk to my bf, or sometimes I'll just get over it without even talking it over with him. He, on the other other hand, is the type that likes to talk about it right away and get it resolved immediately, which I find hard to do at times. I think he gets REALLY bothered by that. He'll ask me what's wrong and I'll just tell him that I'm over it and change the subject. I just don't understand why it's so difficult for me! I don't seem to have the same problem with family members or close friends . . . just with my boyfriends! I think it's just that I hate confronting my boyfriends or something. Another thing he brought up was that he's bothered that I never talk to his friends, or try to get to know his friends. I've hung out with him and his friends together occasionally and we've made small talks, but I guess that he felt I never really held a "real" conversation with them. My defense was, that I'm a really shy person . . . so unless the person approach me first and initiates the conversation with me, it's really hard to me to just go up to them and start talking to them. And it's intimidating when I'm with him and a group of his friends . . . I feel like I'm just an outsider sometimes, *sigh*. But don't get me wrong, I love his friends and they are really really nice to me and fun to hang out with. And one last thing . . . he gets bothered by something I've done in the past . . . before we even met. I've had a friends with benefits relationship with one of my good friends' friend that he does not approve of. Don't ask me how the topic even came up . . . I regretted now. Anyways, I've tried SO hard to explain to him that that's something that happened in the past and that it has nothing to do with the present. But I think he's just bothered by the whole idea of me even wanting to have that sort of relationship . . . I think he is putting me up on a pedestal and feels dissappointed at me. When I ask him what I can do to help him forget about this, he just says he doesn't know. He mentioned that maybe talking about it might help, but sometimes I just get scared that it's going to upset him so I try not to bring it up . . . am I wrong for not wanting to openly discuss something that happened in the past? What can I do to make him forget about this? Or at least try to see me past this? I love him so much that I just can't stand the thought of losing him . . . I really really want to change and prove to him I am capable of doing those things. Anybody out there with the same situation as me? Does anybody have any advice on this? I know we've made up but I'm still really sad about this, I'm worried that he's gonna wake up one day and change his mind about this . . . I can't even focus on my work without thinking about this and tearing up . . . *sigh* Sometimes I just feel like I'm a bad girlfriend . . .

My boyfriend of 11 months and I were on a break for about two weeks and then he came over last night to break up with me. I convinced him to give me a second chance and we discussed his reasons for his decision. One thing he said was that he didn't feel like that I open up to him as much as I should. He feels that he didn't really have a connection with me because we never really sat down and had deep conversations or have heart-to-hearts like other couples do. I didn't think this is true because we've had numerous conversations regarding our past, families and even just on relationships in general . . . but I guess he was expecting more than that. I do admit that sometimes I find it difficult for me to communicate with my boyfriends. When I get upset at my bf, I tend to just keep it to myself and just shut off. I'll be like that for a day or two to clear my head and then talk to my bf, or sometimes I'll just get over it without even talking it over with him. He, on the other other hand, is the type that likes to talk about it right away and get it resolved immediately, which I find hard to do at times. I think he gets REALLY bothered by that. He'll ask me what's wrong and I'll just tell him that I'm over it and change the subject. I just don't understand why it's so difficult for me! I don't seem to have the same problem with family members or close friends . . . just with my boyfriends! I think it's just that I hate confronting my boyfriends or something. Another thing he brought up was that he's bothered that I never talk to his friends, or try to get to know his friends. I've hung out with him and his friends together occasionally and we've made small talks, but I guess that he felt I never really held a "real" conversation with them. My defense was, that I'm a really shy person . . . so unless the person approach me first and initiates the conversation with me, it's really hard to me to just go up to them and start talking to them. And it's intimidating when I'm with him and a group of his friends . . . I feel like I'm just an outsider sometimes, *sigh*. But don't get me wrong, I love his friends and they are really really nice to me and fun to hang out with. And one last thing . . . he gets bothered by something I've done in the past . . . before we even met. I've had a friends with benefits relationship with one of my good friends' friend that he does not approve of. Don't ask me how the topic even came up . . . I regretted now. Anyways, I've tried SO hard to explain to him that that's something that happened in the past and that it has nothing to do with the present. But I think he's just bothered by the whole idea of me even wanting to have that sort of relationship . . . I think he is putting me up on a pedestal and feels dissappointed at me. When I ask him what I can do to help him forget about this, he just says he doesn't know. He mentioned that maybe talking about it might help, but sometimes I just get scared that it's going to upset him so I try not to bring it up . . . am I wrong for not wanting to openly discuss something that happened in the past? What can I do to make him forget about this? Or at least try to see me past this? I love him so much that I just can't stand the thought of losing him . . . I really really want to change and prove to him I am capable of doing those things. Anybody out there with the same situation as me? Does anybody have any advice on this? I know we've made up but I'm still really sad about this, I'm worried that he's gonna wake up one day and change his mind about this . . . I can't even focus on my work without thinking about this and tearing up . . . *sigh* Sometimes I just feel like I'm a bad girlfriend . . .

I think he does try really hard to forget about this, but I think he's just having a hard time coping with it. The only time he really lets it all come out is when he's drunk (where the truth comes out . . . ). It's either that or something will trigger it . . . like if we watch a show on tv and the topic of FTF happens to pop up, then he'll make a comment about it . . . . I've really never had breaks with any of my boyfriends before . . . so I'm not sure how it's suppose to work out. If he hasn't called for a week, does that mean he's over me and just gave up on the relationship? I really miss him but I have to stop myself from calling him because I think he's the person at fault and I feel that he should make the first move . . .

You need to ask yourself, do I trust my gf when she goes out to the clubs by herself? If you have doubts about this . . . then I suggest you reconsider this relationship. It seems like she didn't really care for your feelings at all and got upset at you when you tell her that you can't go. Maybe you guys need sit down and think of other activities that you guys can do together on weekends instead of going out partying. Like movies, shoot pool, arcade, or anything! If she really cares about you then she needs to learn how to compromise.

Guys are so paranoid sometimes. If you spend too much time with him he automatically thinks that you guys are getting too serious and that you're expecting more out of him, say like, marriage? Seriously though, I wouldn't stree too much over this, like everyone else said, I think he just needs some space. Especially now that he's living with two of his buddies and have more ppl to hang out with when he's home, he probably just needs some male bonding time or something. I think you should just stop planning your weekends around him. Call up your friends and see what they're up to. Sometimes I rather just hang out with the girls than be out with my bf and his boys. If he asks you what you're doing then just tell him you're hanging out with your friends, but he's welcome to come along if he wants to. If you leave him along for a couple of days or even a week or two, eventually he's gonna start missing you and start crawling back to you Besides, having sex for the first time after not seeing each other for a week or two is simply amazing!

I knew it was time for me to end my 2.5 year relationship with my ex-bf when I felt he was more like a friend to me than an actual bf . . . the feeling just wasn't the same anymore towards the end . . . And also I know that our relationship wasn't going to go anywhere and I was already in my mid-20's. I had to start looking for something that I see a future with . . .

I always thought that it's good to be honest with your partner . . . that's why my boyfriend and I share everything with each other, and sometimes we would openly discuss our past relationships. We don't really hide anything from each other. So I had mentioned that I once had a friends w/ benefits relationship with one of my friends' bestfriends (I did not know him until she introduced us). At first he didn't seem to care . . . but after a couple of months I could tell that something was bothering him. And then he finally told me that he had a problem with that, even though that had happened way back before I even met my boyfriend. I don't understand why he would even be bothered by this? His excuse was that he was just bothered by my whole attitude towards the whole situation. And that I didn't think it was a big deal at all. Basically he said that I had "cheapened" myself. We've had talks about this and I thought he was over it. But then last week all of a sudden the topic popped up again and we got into an argument, and now we are on a break. I really don't know what I should do. I don't even know why he's behaving this way. He's had one night stands before, but he didn't think it was a big deal because mine was actually "planned". Where as, his was something that happened unexpected. Talk about double standards! I think his whole point is that he wants me to admit that I regret what I did but I am not going to do that because that's not how I feel at all. It's not like I cheated on my past boyfriends or something. We've been together for almost a year now and I am very happy with him except for this. I think I am willing to keep this relationship going as long as he tells me he can forget about my past. The last time I spoken with him was a week ago and I don't know how long this break will last . . . should I just break up with him? Argh . . . I'm so indecisive . . .