hellokittykitty

it worked for me - he contacted after 3 days.... but longer than 5 I think it is probably just not going to happen.

I think it is time to know what is going on. You can't just keep having this are you or aren't you second guessing feeling. I know it's tough to deal with that on a regular basis because that is what I am going through right now. I suggest just calling him or talking to him in person and just asking what he is thinking, good or bad at least you know. Keep in mind his close then distant reactions may just be a result of him not truly knowing what he wants.

okay, I made it through Valentine's day. Although it wasn't the one I wanted it was an okay day. My ex texted me yesterday to say things were just so/so with him. He said he was really stressed out and wasn't at all where he wanted to be. I guess I am a bit selfish, although I really feel bad for him I also felt kinda happy for me because I think he is starting to see that even though i am not around the pressure and stress he had is still there. Not that I think he's going to get back with me or anything, it just made me think he might realize that the stress didn't go away just because I did. Anyway, he was concerned that I had been so quiet and wanted to know what was up with me. I sent him a nice text back today (valentine's day) and wished his a happy day, sent him a e-card and wished him well. He sent a text back and things ended okay. I guess it was better than ending in a terrible fight, although I feel this may have set me back a bit because I realize how much i love him. well time will tell.

well I've been waiting for reason from relationships from years ago and it's never happened!

forgiveness is just another reason to make yourself mentally forget the terrible thing someone did to you. There is no reason that you have to forgive anyone for anything.

I decided to listen to all of you and went NC - have been for a week today. I am so hurt and angry. I have lost all sense of faith, hope and have turned into a mean, miserable witch. I used to think everything happened for a reason and that in everything there was some good. Now I do not believe that. I feel life is a joke, it is cruel and unfair. I have lost all spiritual faith after the year of hell I've been through. Had I actually done something to deserve all the terrible stuff I have had to go through this past year (NOT JUST RELATIONSHIP STUFF) I would not be to proud to admit it. But the reality is I have done nothing wrong. I was strong when EVERYONE else needed me. I loved like I had not loved before and I trusted whole heartedly for the first time, and for all of this... I got a life of hell, miserey and hurt... and worst of all I am alone. The one true person I thought I could trust and who would never hurt me has stabbed me in the back and hurt me the most. I'd like to thank the so called spiritual BS that gave me a false hope. Thank-you for Hell, thank-you for nothing.

Thanks everyone - especially scout. I know you are all right. I just wish I could deal with it. I just cannot picture not having him in my life this way and I am miserable... I wish he would prove it to me that he actually does care... it's easy to say things but to mean them is different. I know this issue will not and cannot be resolved until the TWO of us are ready to resolve it and right now it is only me... I am learning now that I just do not have the love I wanted and this is such a cruel joke that whoever our maker is would give me such an amazing person and then take him away from me... it's hard to have faith in anyone or anything right now.

thank-you. I needed to hear that. I am not going to try to get back together - a very wise person has made me realise that he needs time to figure things out on his own and in the meantime I should keep in touch but only if I have positive things to say to him. Yesterday we texted a few times and it was good. I miss him to death but I know things are different now.

he already knows that I still have feelings for him, and he knows I know that he doesn't want to be together because he needs time to sort it out... what I wanted to tell him is that I will always love him and that I wish we were back together but I understand that we can't be there right now.

Please Help Me! ... I want to tell my ex how I feel (what he chooses to do is up to him) but how do I tell him/what do I say without making myself seem despirate and stupid? I am going to send an e-mail... calls at this time will only end up in a tense conversation - I want to avoid that, I am not going to point the finger this e-mail is about me not him.

Any Thoughts On How To Tell Him My Feelings... Without Freaking Him Out??

Thank-you ... I agree with you, but how should I do it?... I was think e-mail... but what do I say?? PLEASE HELP

because "HE" needed to figure his life out... I guess my life didn't matter.

HI Everyone, ... here is an update on my situation... A little over a week ago my ex broke up with me. He said he needed time to figure his life out and he could not be in a relationship with me or anyone. He has a very complicated life, with elements he can't control providing stress in his life. He told me he didn't want to lose me, wants to keep getting to know me etc. I tried NC for a few days, but broke it. We had plans to go out of town yesterday for a concert and we ended up going. Before we went I had a complete breakdown, i was so nervous I made myself sick... literally. We had an hour drive to get there... at first we just talked about stuff not related to us and things were fine. Then he puts on a coldplay song that talks about making choices in life and the uncertainty of knowing if your making the right decision. This changed my mood. We ended up having a good time at the concert, we went out for dinner after and thats where things fell apart in a way. I asked him how it was so easy for him to turn off his feelings. I asked him if he was being honest when he told me 3 weeks ago that he believed we met for a reason and had something between us he wanted to dig deeper and see what happens... His response: I ment everything I said and did. I just cannot be in a relationship with you or anyone else... I need to figure life out and it's not far to keep a relationship going when I can't give 100 %. My Response: If you can turn your feelings off so quickly than you never had feelings. His Response: You keep making your own assumptions. You only hear what you want to hear and then you make your own assumptions, thats not fair. You don't know what I am thinking or feeling... My Response: What do you want from me? what do you expect? His Response: You to be yourself, be honest and just be yourself.... Then I got BLASTED for implementing NC!!! He said that it was unfair to talk to me everyday/text/e-mail/see each other and then all of a sudden i just stop everything... My Response: MAD ... very MAD... His Response: he said that he's just living life one day at a time and that he can't act on his feelings because he needs to figure life out and that if we have true feelings they will always be there... then he says... when I get my life in order one of 2 things will happen... I'll come after you and you have moved on and then I know I screwed up, or you'll be here still feeling for me and we will go from there. My Response: So you want me to move on and meet someone else? His Response: NO. Of course not... but I can't control if you meet someone and you like them better than me. Bottom line - we left off in the same place or worse than we started... I got some answers I wanted but with those answers came more questions. Now I don't know if I should go back to NC or what.... He is so confident he made the right choice, and I am left here crying.

DO NOT.... REPEAT DO NOT TELL HER! ... this happened in an ex relationship I had and I told the person and it turned out awful! ... then it happened to me and when I was told, I felt like I was used and I felt so dirty... it's just a kiss, but the consequence are very very serious!!! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME>>> DON'T TELL HER!

my ex called me today. I thought it would be weird, and it was a bit but at times it was like nothing ever went wrong. we are going to go ahead with our plans for this weekend. I am scared, hopefully it will go okay and not end in a fight. wish me luck...

my ex called today, things went okay... it was almost like nothing was wrong at times... we are going to go ahead with our plans for this weekend. I am scared, I want to keep it together but I am scared... wish me luck.

My ex called today. I thought it would be really weird talking to him and it was at times but all in all it went okay. We are gonna go ahead with our plans for this weekend. I am a little scared and i hope I can be strong enough and keep it together... I just want a relaxing and nice day together... no deep conversations just yet. anyway... wish me luck... just thought Id update you all.

thank-you. support is what I need. In a million years I didn't think that my ex would ever hurt me... he is the one person I truly trusted and now I am a fool.

it hurts, my ex doesn't usually lie... he has stayed friends with former exs - once he's broken up with and others who have broken up with him... but I thought our situation was a bit more mature... we're both 28.... I guess he's a lier and a jerk after all

Sprink, I know what your going through. MY ex broke up with me last saturday... same situation, we didn't set up NC - he actually made plans with me for this week... his reason for the breakup was that he had to figure things out in life before he could handle a relationship... with me or anyone, he like your ex is also going through a tough time. He said he would call this week and we'd do something.. he never called so i called him... he hasn't called me back and now i am deeply hurt .. hope things work out better for you.

Thanks for your advice guys! I am still sad someone would say this to me and not mean it... but I will bow out gracefully and let him go... and then cry on my own...

Yes, I agree it's immature... but if you've been hurt, sometimes even if you've moved on it feels a little good to know the other person is hurting. I don't reccommend it, I'm just saying...

you two dated the same type of girl and I dated the same type of guy...

I'm sure some of you have been following my posts. My ex broke up with me last saturday telling me he needed time to figure things out in life and couldn't be in a relationship with me or anyone. He told me he still wanted to keep getting to know me, spending time with me and that he didn't want to loose what we have, especially our communitcation. He then went on to make plans for this week & this weekend with me. *** Keep in mind - this was HIM talking, I wasn't saying a word *** He never called, I felt stood up in a sense. He seemed sincere, and I've never known him to purposely hurt people. He usually gives people the benefit of the doubt, even when it's obvious people are telling a lie to him. Anway, I kept NC for 4 days, we have tickets for a concert this weekend. I was calling to let him know I am giving away the ticket if he doesn't want to go... I called him and left a message to call me back... he hasn't called. I guess he wa never sincere and he was lying about what he wanted from me... I understand if you can't or don't want to be in a relationship ... but someone please tell me why you would feel the need to say all the extra stuff about still spending time with me, wanting me to hang out with him and his friends, etc.... why not just end it?... what is the point???? I feel let down again and now I am angry and heartbroken. What do I do now?