designer71

I think that you should let him go - if he goes and doesnt do anything wrong, then it will help you begin to build trust again. If he screws up again, then you know he's not the guy for you. He did do the right thing and tell you he cheated last time, so that counts for something. You have to let go a little to see if you can trust him again, maybe you can't, but you'll never know unless you let him out of your sight and wait and see if he does it again. Good luck honey, and you know, he may not want you to go to orlando because it's a "guy's thing" like he'd be considered wipped if he "had" to bring his girlfriend....

Maybe he's afraid of initiating contact to see you because he doesn't want to mislead you or give you false hope?

It sounds like you scared him with cutting yourself like that. Has anything like that ever happened before? (Cutting yourself open?) And I know he didn't call you to see if you were OK, but do you really want someone like that in your life anyway?

I think Danielle sounds so confident and fun....and I think she's for real and that you could really have some fun times with her if you don't analyze it too much....just go with it and see what happens - you NEVER know what's around the next bend!! Good Luck!

I agree - especially when he does things like drive a 1/2 hour just to see you for 20 minutes....people don't do those kinds of things unless they really care. When someone says they love you, keep in mind that actions speak louder than words, and his actions seem loud and clear...that he does!! Sounds like a keeper!

thank u so much shelly - I know i have to cut him out, but it is so hard! When he calls me today, I am going to tell him that he needs to leave me alone and stop hurting me until he figures out what it is he is doing with her. It is not fair to me at all. God, I can't stand this!

I am in the same boat...am having sex with the ex while he is in "love" with someone else just hoping like a loser that he will suddenly decide that he wants me instead of her. He was supposed to come over tonight but he is home talking to her on the phone. I am beside myself - I feel addicted to him. Like, I will take any scrap of anything he will throw my way or something. What the hell is wrong with me? He says stuff like there is a chance for us again in the future and that's what keeps me hanging on. Most days I am just sorry I ever met him.

I had a FWB that actually worked out wonderfully...and no one was more surprised than me! He and I were friends, but not close,close friends - for about 4 or 5 years. More or less we hung out in the same group of friends on weekends. He was gorgeous, and really, really smart. One night after going to a party, he was driving me home - with no idea it was going there, it just kind of happened. And it was great and steamy, but the key was, neither of us was interested in the other as bf/gf. I was amazed at myself b/c I am usually the girl who can't separate love and sex. So this went on for a few years...we were super safe (condoms and all) and when one of us was dating someone else, we remained friends and talked on the phone and got together platonically, but whenever we were both free at the same time, it would be on again. It was so odd too because we would talk to each other about our ex's and how we were trying to get over them after we'd have sex. How odd! But it worked for us!! i do feel that it was a once in a lifetime thing though, because we often marveled to each other that we were able to do this without anyone feeling hurt. We even tried a few official dates - but the spark wasn't there romantically, just sexually! We went along like that until my last serious boyfriend and his last serious girlfriend...we are still friends, but we don't do the sex thing anymore - the older we have gotten the more we realize that sex means more than steamy passion without love. But we are a very rare example, and I don't think it can work for everyone, and I don't think it will ever happen that way for me ever again! Just my $00.2 Thinking of it now, boy I miss him!! LOLOLOL

I am with you metro....I know if I contact my ex, more bad than good could ever come from it. So I don't. And I post here. Days while I am at work are easy, it's when I'm home on the weekends and at night when it's the worst.

ahhhhh...A Bronx Tale...Another classic! You might be right...wasn't it one of Coligino's friends who tell him that?

I am 34 and started dating when cars didn't always have automatic locks, and I was actually taught by my Father to unlock a guy's door for him after he lets you in! I was thrown off when guys started having automatic door locks and openers! So I would say, I would've opened your door, but your automatic locks beat me to it! I obviously don't think anyone should read too much into this one way or another, was it Casino DeNiro said that in, or was it something else? I've seen all his movies and I forget which one it was!

thank you all - I got through the better part of the nite b/c of your support!! And serenity - you've got yourself a deal!! I will post or PM you anytime I feel like I want to look him up - and you do the same!!! : )

Thanks FriscoDj, I like the way you put things! I too, have the therapy bills to prove it - and THANK GOD!! She has been such a help with healing through this mess. I have been doing pretty well - just a set back today I guess. The 4 week itch I guess!!

Thanks so much Serendipity..I guess the biggest thing I am struggling with is the restraining order thing....I can't seem to get a grip on why he would ever say something like that?? I am so shocked about it! I've been anything but a stalker - and I asked him for NC....I just don't get it.

I know what you are going through - it's been 4 weeks for me and I have been rehashing it out in my mind for days now. The saddest thing in life is that for as quick as you can fall in love with someone, then can just as quickly fall out of love with you. Sometimes with no warning at all. Sometimes though, if we look deep enough into it, we can see warning signs that weren't as visible before. I am sorry you are going through this....don't you wish we could all fast-forward to a year from now with our healing sometimes? I know I do!