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Danny H

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Everything posted by Danny H

  1. Danny H
    I hope You get the outcome you want. She does seem very confused Dan
  2. Danny H
    stephen, you are at a site where we know exactly what you are saying, there are many of us here in that pain, but we will ALL get through this. best Dan
  3. Danny H
    thanks chaps, dan
  4. Danny H
    well, I got my answers, i went out to the local pub last night to be told that while I was in India my wife was taking men to our house ( fair enough some are friends) but that one guy stayed in our room with her for the night I guess I now know all I need to Love to you all. I'm done, I'm dead, I'm going to be reborn Dan
  5. Danny H
    cheers guys, I guess I'm hoping he is a crap lay-lol Best Dan no lady we are not divorced yet, only split in Nov, shock to me. I do think it will come down to repair or divorce as this limbo land is painful
  6. Danny H
    Yes I guess I am but my options are very limited, you can't tell a person what to think, but in life you can often point them in a direction that might allow them to see with more clarity. After all we we together nearly 18 years, and 5 of us want this resolved. she says to me " you were the love of my life, and you hurt me and when i got back from India she said there were times when I thought " I really miss him, what have I done" and there were times when I thought, no this is for the best". She admits she is confused and well she might be, this is all so new. Dan
  7. Danny H
    No it is not my decision, but I could encourage, because I am moving out, I have to come back to watch our kids and that takes my co-operation, so I could make it easy for her to go if you see what I mean. also as she doesn't work I have to pay, so you see unless he pays and organises perminant baby sitter for 4 kids, I need to be involved in helping it happen Dan
  8. Danny H
    well they have exchanged pictures, but let us say pictures ( once whittled down from hundreds) are not the best representation of hight posture whatever surely. , also I have to watch the kids in order for her to go, so in that respect she does need me on board. But I do note your point about clicking from afar means you should click up close. But you might not physically ring eachothers bells if you know what I mean. well at least I would think. Dan
  9. Danny H
    hi this is my story here: I have just got back from 6 weeks in India and it seems my wife is totally besotted with this guy now. But they only speak on the phone, or msn, they have never looked into eachothers eyes, read eachothers body language etc I want my wife and I to try and at least have a go at repairing us, but with this mytical figure in the background I have no chance. Working on the theory that fantasy is more powerful than reality, should I encourage her to travel from uk to Florida? It would take great strength but at least afterwards I would know more, oneway or the other. they would click, or it would die. Should I gamble? Or should I walk away and cry more-aggh Thanks Dan
  10. Danny H
    well Kickedin how was your night out?
  11. Danny H
    Ain't that the truth-!!!!
  12. Danny H
    Happy birthday, keep your head up for what it is worth I think all of us on the board feel a connection with all the others, so I am sure you have many here wishing you to have a good day. Go and do something fun Best Dan
  13. Danny H
    Frang, I guess, the lows are not as frequent. But just when I think I have it all sorted, I get hit by a crushing wave of sadness. I still love my wife, of that I realised in India, there is no way to just switch it off, I wish I could. Dan P.S she just phoned from Thailand to speak to kids, told me all about her flight etc, hearing her voice sends me backwards I just can't stop loving her and I know it is killing me.
  14. Danny H
    Thanks Frangipani, btw you are one of the only names I recognise since I went away, where has evryone gone??-- are they all stronger now?- that would be great dan
  15. Danny H
    yes, I have been through things like crap chilhood, getting kicked from home at 15, I even have one child who will probably never walk ( which brings constant tears), but this is up there in terms of a painful journey, It kills me everyday. The thought that you have been seamlessly replaced by someone you thought you'd be with forever, just plain hurts deep. Best to all of us Dan
  16. Danny H
    Good luck man, I am 3 months plus into a seperation and it still hurts like hell, but we were together 17 years and have 4 kids and i didn't see it coming, so hopefully for you after 3 months you'll be feeling stronger. dan
  17. Danny H
    well, got back from India, I have got to say the holiday was the most intense experience I can remember ( not india but the feelings for wife etc). I met some great ladies out there, and became great friends with a couple, but I just can't shake the love I still have for my wife, so friendships they stayed. Two weeks into the trip I drove up the mountains away from humans and found myself sobbing and wailing, and screaming at the top of my voice about how miserable and lonely I felt, I cried like a little baby. AND then I felt a whole lot better, the next four weeks were great fun, I blanked out home and just blended in with the long stay crowd ( each of whom had a different reason for spending 6 months away from Europe, I.E divorce, debt whatever)- so I made some deep friendships. I am now home I came home for my sons birthday, My wife goes away for 3 weeks and then I have to find somewhere to live. I would have loved to just stay away forever, but we know with 4 kids that isn't a realistic option, so what to do? I have told my wife that when she comes back we have to either divorce or try and repair, I can't live in limbo land anymore. If we divorce I think in October I will become another longstay goan runaway. Best to you all Dan
  18. Danny H
    Syke, she is evil Keep away. If you stay away beware she will be back, she likes to keep you there. You are her pet, don't fall for anymore of her games. GET AWAY Dan
  19. Danny H
    dwbh, have a good look around this site, it is incredible how everything one of us is going through, has been gone through before Dan
  20. Danny H
    Thanks guys, tomorrow I'm off to sit on Indian beaches for 6 weeks, fresh fruit, sun, swimming and fresh seafood, and maybe the odd massage should help I'll have a glass for all you guys who have helped me Love dan
  21. Danny H
    Thanks DN, I also think it was handy that she lost it bigtime, the rage coming out of her, took me by surprise. I got too thinking " why do I love this person?"- I woke up with no answer. Maybe, just maybe, this new found freedom will work out ok, there are certainly many things I haven't done for 17 years that I would like to do again. Dan
  22. Danny H
    Buy the plane ticket, if he gets a job, in order to pay the ticket, what if he decides to stay for the sake of work etc. Phrase it that you are sending him back to be with people who love him. Living together, and trying to sort through this will only bring pain to both of you. Best Dan
  23. Danny H
    Ocd you have hit the nail on the head here. It seems like this is common, walk away, let her see what she lost. well done with keeping your head Dan
  24. Danny H
    I woke up this morning ( it has now been 9 weeks since we split), and I felt ok, it was like her rant at me yesterday cleared my eyes to the type of person I still think I love. It occurs to me that, I'm living in cookooland, I have taken all the best things my wife did in the last 17 years and created a fantasy, the reality is she is nothing like that. I know I had a boost before, but this feels good, I feel somehow a liitle bit freer. I'm hoping this is one of the small steps we go through. I realise we go two steps forward then one back, but I think it is possible This site has helped so much, like many of you, I have nobody in real life who is prepared to listen. Best to you all Dan
  25. Danny H
    There is always a chance, but the worst thing you can do now is chase her around like a love sick puppy. Give her time to think her own thoughts. After all there is no point in somebody coming back through pity/guilt. They have got to decide that it is good FOR them. But then I'm sure you wouldn't want it any other way Good Luck Dan
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