bsp_kjm

wow so i got another job at a quick lube place. getting paid a couple more bucks an hour. sweet!

well i took the job in the bay area even though ill make less money... figure i can work there until after xmas and hunt for another job. all the jobs I've been finding up here so far are for graveyard shifts (and I'm definitely not a night person). thanks everyone

Sorry if this is in the wrong section... Ok, so I'm a full-time college student and I've been lookin for a part time job for the last month and haven't had much success so far. so I finally got a job at a cruddy cafe today like 3-4 mins from my apartment in the Bay Area. Its a temp job and they told me I'm one of like 8 people getting hired to work there. The job is from this following Monday until mid January, and then they will pick 2-3 of us to stay and fire everyone else. Pay is 8/hr and would be 24 hrs or less a week. Second temp job is actually my old job in my hometown (2 hours from my apartment in the bay area). I stopped by to say hi to my old coworkers and the owner offered me the temp job for winter break. She was pretty much begging me to come back. I'd work 25-30 hrs a week, $7.25/hr + tips (I use to average about $25-$30 in tips a night) plus $1.50 for every delivery I made. I'd have to move back in with my parents until the next school semester starts up again, which is on January 24th. So I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of each job. Cafe Pros: -Only 3-4 mins from my apartment -Chance to meet/work with new people in the area -If I get chosen to stay after mid January, pay will go from $8/hr to $8.50/hr and possibly even higher, chances to move to other positions for better pay as well -By staying in the bay over winter break, I can keep looking for other jobs while working at the cafe Cafe Cons: -Staying up in the bay area for all of winter break means I'm pretty much only staying up here for the job since classes are out of session. -All of my friends are going to be in my hometown for winter break while I'm stuck in the bay working at that cafe and sitting at the apartment doing nothing -Coworkers may possibly suck and I will hate them -Having to be trained how to make special stupid coffee drinks -Strict dress code (which means I have to go spend cash on couple pairs of khaki pants). Pizza Place Pros: -All of my coworkers are cool and easy to work with -Job is beyond laid back -Get to hang with all of my friends since I'll be in my hometown -Tips kick * * * -Already know the ins and outs of the job, don't need to be trained for anything -No dress code Pizza Place Cons: -Move back in with parents for two months (really not that bad, but they live in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE) -Pay per hour is lower -Won't be in the Bay Area possibly looking for other jobs -Once school starts January 24th, I'm definitely out a job, because I'll be back up in the Bay Area again -Moving back with my parents means I'll be paying rent for an apartment I'm not even staying at This blows... I'm really torn at the moment. I really shouldn't have stopped at my old workplace today to visit.

so my friend who was the topic of this thread gave me a call about two weeks ago and said he was relapsing about the breakup... which happened almost 5 years ago. told me how he still loves his ex and still hurts so badly over her. he was doing really well too... rarely mentioning her in conversation... but these last two weeks, she's the only topic he can talk about. I dont even know what to say to him anymore. One of our mutual friends pretty much yelled at him for a good hour, telling him to friggin move on already, etc... guess it didnt sink in. I just feel so horrible for my friend because I know how he hurts... I have my bad days too when I miss the good times with the ex... but man, this is just pathetic. I dont know how to help him

wow got a really long email from her this morning calling me alls of bad things and saying that its my fault that she is on bad terms with her family because she was seeing me without their permission and that she cries all night thinking about how much pain I'm putting her through. then she said that I'm a nobody and should treat people better. All of this because of the txt msg on the cell. Im actually a bit freaked out she might show up at my place or mess with my car

thank you everyone for your time and info! well she sent me a couple text msgs tonite and I ignored them but they kept coming... so I finally sent back a reply msg of, "dont txt me" and the txts stopped. she hasnt called since i made this post, so I'm thinking she is getting the hint... maybe

wow, thank you all! did you all go to school for this kind of stuff, cuz you all have some very in-depth info! As Juliana has stated, I sort of dont want to involve the police at all. I think doing so would only escalate things. I would if she messed with my car or threatened me physically (she has threatened me verbally but apologizes for it immediately). I'm soaking in all this information! I think I just need to be firm with her again that we should go separate ways and have no contact. wish me luck

thanks Don... i tried the call but just got voicemail, which he never returned. if i do get a hold of him, ill keep in mind what you have written. thanks for your time

that is EXACTLY how my first "I love you" sort of situation happened with my ex, except I was the boyfriend. brings tears to the eyes

^totally agree. thank you all for taking time out of your thanksgiving day to help me out.

wow, you all are very helpful! im so glad ive stuck around this site. thank you everyone for the replies and thank you kellbell for the links. i just feel really bad because if she wasnt so hectic, she'd be a really great person to be around. thank u all

try to find out how close this bully is with the boss and if the relationship between the two isnt very close, approach her about the bully and tell her exactly what you are telling us. good luck

Hi all, didnt exactly know where to post this... I went on a date with a 21 year old gal about a month ago and it was pretty nice. Just coffee and chatting. Nice gal, didnt really talk much. As the date came to an end, she invited herself over to my place. I didnt think much of it. We sat down and watched a movie at my place and she made a move on me. Next thing I know, we have had sex and she's laying there in my bed, asking what my last name was. The sex was emotionless and I was a bit shocked about what had just happened. She eventually excuses herself and heads home. Next day, the gal calls me up and wants to meet again at the coffee place for another date. She felt we didnt get to talk much about eachother. So I arrive at the coffee place at the designated time and an hour passes and she never shows. I call her cell and leave a voicemail. Next day, she emails me stating she is sorry about the previous night and will explain it in person. She asks me to a dinner date and I agree. I arrive at the diner she suggests and wait. 2 hours later, I'm still sitting at my table with a glass of water and the cell phone at my ear. Again, just get her voicemail. Next day, she emails me, saying she's sorry and will explain in person. She says she will come over to my place tonight with something special around 9pm. I stay up till midnight and she never shows, doesnt call, and doesnt pick up her cell. Next day, she arrives at my place at 9am, apologizing and coming up with some just plain wacky excuses for the last couple nights. I tell her its no biggie and she insists that she make it up to me by taking me to dinner. We finally go to dinner that night and come back to my place where we have sex again. The day after, she starts calling me her boyfriend and telling me things like "I love you" and "Will you be with me forever?" I'm startled and tell her things are moving too quickly. She becomes infuriated and tells me that since we had sex, we are in love and will get married. I dont even know what to say and just tell her I have to leave for work. She leaves and then proceeds to call me up to 10 times that day, leaving me random voicemails about how much she loves me and couldnt live without me. She also text messaged me constantly. This goes on for about a week. I then tell her to please calm down and that she is moving too fast. She becomes very mad and tells me that she is dieing from cancer and how could I break her heart when she was dieing from cancer. I dont even know what to say and just tell her I'm sorry but she needs to calm down. She hangs up on me and then proceeds to call me back about a dozen times, leaving voicemails while crying and screaming. Woah. One more week of this and I tell her to please stop contacting me. She does so for two days, then the calls, text messages, and emails come again. She threatens me and then apologizes, over and over. One night, she showed up at my door at 11pm in the rain. I let her in and she started crying about how she wants me back. I tell her she needs to calm down and talk to me when she's not so emotional. She heads home. The calls and txt msgs wont stop and I dont know what to do. She is even going to start attending my school next semester and wants to take classes with me. There is another girl I am seeing at the moment and this obsessed gal wont let off. I want to be as gentle as possible in telling her to please let go of me, that we never really were together, etc. I just dont think it registers in her head. Anybody have a suggestion on what to do? I'm scared this gal might hurt herself or something.... thank you all

i agree with everyone and you should talk to a higher-up unless you know she has it in good with them too. your situation sounds a lot like one that was going on at my old workplace. there was a gal there who kissed the a** of all the higher-ups and started dating one of them. she was beyond rude to two of the others employees for absolutely no reason and those two employees couldnt complain to the higher-ups because the higher-ups would believe the rude girl. both girls eventually ended up quitting. the rude gal would try to boss me around as well, but i had a higher position than her

yeah, thats what i decided to do. thanks for the reply...

WantToBeLuved, did you ever meet the gal in person? how are things now? im in practically the same situation as you and dont want to come off as needy. i talk with the gal online through email but havent called her because i dont want to seem like im needy and dont want to bug her. she only called me once (yesterday) for about 5 mins and then i text messaged her on my cell phone this morning and she replied once but didnt to my reply. so very confusing...

wow reading that was a downer. damn sorry u went through all that hell

thanks for the reply, robo... thing is, is i did send him an email couple weeks back telling him i wasnt mad at him or anything. the engine install was NOT his fault AT ALL and I let him know this. it was the design of a mount that needed to be ground down and a part of the block had to be modified. i stressed to him that there were no hard feelings and i really appreciated his help and insight. still no reply though... guess ya cant win everyone?

This is long, please bare with me... Months back when my ex left me, I decided to take the money I had been saving for a wedding ring and treat myself to something nice. Im really really into cars so I decided to get my car a new motor - a performance motor at that. it was something I had always wanted but never got because my ex believed it to be a waste of $$$ and felt I should save it towards our future together. In a way, buying this motor was a way of me saying "F U" to the ex. Problem with the purchase of this motor was I didnt entirely know how to completely install it. I could do the basic stuff, but needed help with a couple things I didnt entirely understand. I'm a part of a couple auto enthusiast forums and one guy that I met through the site offered to help me with the engine swap, completely free, since he had the same swap. Ive know the guy through one of the websites for about 3 years, met him about half a dozen times in person, once or twice on the phone, chatted with him many more times online. Really nice guy, my age, really smart guy when it comes to cars, lots of the same interests, always hit me up to hang out. Overall good guy. He had also met my ex on several occasions and they talked online a couple times. Anyhoos, he said if I drove the 4 hours to his home, he'd help with the install free of charge. Couldn't pass that up. So I got a day off from work, stuffed the motor in the back of the car, and made the drive to the guy's place. Im about 2 hours into the drive and he gives me a call to let me know that apparently a surprise party got thrown at his house, but to come anyways because the motor swap wouldnt take very long anyhoos and afterwards we could party it up. I let him know that its no big deal if he cant do the motor swap that day and he said it was no problem at all. So I get to his place, and we let the car cool down for about an hour before tearing out the old motor. We BS a bit, go grab something to eat, come back and start wrenching away at getting that motor out. To make this short and avoid details, we came accross problems with getting the new motor in. We had to do some custom work to get it in, and the guy said it was a bad idea to do this. After 6 hours of trying other methods to get it in, the guy suggested putting the old motor back in since we both had work the next morning and I still had a 4 hour drive home to make. I was beyond frustrated at this point and my heart dropped when he said that. Throughout the whole project, his friends from the party kept coming in and out of the garage, asking when he was gonna join the party. I felt terrible about this. I admit that I become very very frustrated when it comes to stuff like this. So we began putting the old motor back in and came accross more problems. What was supposed to be a 3 hour project turned into a 14 hour project. We were both tired, frustrated, and I was really down about it. In the process of putting the old motor in, we broke a really expensive part and I guess it hit the wrong nerve because I started cussing and grabbed a rubber mallet and hit the valve cover on the old engine a couple times, letting out some built up rage, I suppose. In my burst of anger, I blurted out, "Gawd man, Ive always wanted to do this engine swap and never did cuz of my ex, then i finally get it and waited forever to get this motor in and now it all went wrong and we're stuck here trying to put this goddamn car back together. why cant i just do something nice for myself once and have nothing go wrong with it? i just wanted to do this to help cheer up my spirits over losing my ex!" The guy just stares at me like this backs off a bit, and says, "man... you'll be ok." I felt so pathetic letting that all out in front of a guy I barely know... Anyways, we finish up getting the old motor in and I drive the car (which is running like crap now) straight to work (which I barely made it to). He's calling me every couple hours, asking me how the cars runnin, apologizing like crazy for not being able to get the engine in. I tell him its all good, not to worry about it, none of it was his fault, that I really appreciated his help and time and the such. I even sent him a huge email thanking him and apologizing for my outburst of anger/frustration/sorrow that he witnessed. Flash forward a couple days and I find myself with a day off. I decide to tackle this project myself after researching the problem we encountered the first time. Fast forward 8 hours later and I have the motor in and running like a champ. I couldnt believe I had figured out the problem and done the install myself. I called up the guy and let him know I got the motor in. He was quite happy to hear. And that was the last time I heard from him. After that, he began ignoring my messages through the website and my emails. He'd post a thread and I'd post in it and hed ignore my post. I learned through some mutual friends that live near me and he'd be in the area and would visit them but not even let me know he was in the area. So its been like that for the last couple months and I'm just really a bit hurt about it. I mean hey, I'm posting a thread here about it. I think I may have freaked him out when I blurted out that stuff about my ex. I've asked the mutual friends if he's ever said anything about me and they said no. Guess I scared off a potential friend

hey man, props to you for standing up about it and respecting her fella. a lot of guys would take advantage of something like that. i had a similar experience in high school... had a female friend, real attractive gal, and she always greeted me with a kiss on the lips. it really weirded me out because I'm not much of a good lookin guy and she was really really attractive. She would shake all of my friends' hands, but give me a kiss. ON top of that, she had a boyfriend, about 3 years younger than us. i just figured she was a big flirt and never pursued her. after highschool, lost contact with her. in your case, sounds like the girl is getting a "high" off having a boyfriend and kissing another guy behind the bf's back. i dunno... girls, especially teen girls, are so hard to understand.

yeah i had already approached her about it and she just said, "sorry, was busy with chores" i didnt go to the halloween party she invited me to. havent heard from her since

i had a very similar experience. i say just give him time. it took me about 3 weeks to forgive my friend.

hey man, i had a similar experience. sounds like she is one of those gals that revolves her life around her man. i say just concentrate on your goals and when her man dumps her, dont blow her off completely, but dont be there for her like you were before.

i didnt expect an expensive gift or anything... just an acknowledgement or something. i would have been happy if she just showed up at my bday get together empty handed, but she couldnt even do that. plus, a couple days after my bday, she bought her BF an expensive MP3 player, so her being broke is no excuse. as for talking to her... she called me to invite me to a halloween party, but i was working on a thesis paper...

thanks for the replies, everyone. Ive been friends with her for about 8 years now. Shes usually a very thoughtful person and thats why Im pretty surprised about it. She usually is broke, but I recently read on her Myspace that she just bought her boyfriend a $250 mp3 player cuz it was on sale the other day. As for her boyfriend, he's a really kool guy. usually real thoughtful... but Ive only known him for a couple months. I cant think of any reason why she'd do that to me or be avoiding me. I mean hey, I did them the favor of giving them a free ride home... hmm I dunno... I dropped her a call today cuz I was in her area and she replied with a text msg of "at work".... oh well what can ya do?