sweetsmile

He broke up with me 1 month ago after lots of fights for almost 4 years. He didn't feel good or trust me at the end of the relationship. He told me he wasn't happy for the last year, but I was like his drug so he couldn't let me go. He broke up all the time but kept coming back. Finally he broke up for good I think. I was still hoping he'd call me, but he doesn't this time. I don't call him either since he seems to not want to being friends, he doesn't want me back he said right after the break-up. I crossed him twice on the street and he didn't say hi, just ignored me. Now I feel that he's seeing someone else and I just have to know if it's true to be able to go on. I can't believe that he would fix not contacting me for so long if that wasn't the reason. Shall I call him and ask or shall I spy on him or what shall I do to find out? It hurts so much

So you guys would try to call him and see what happens. If he still doesnt want me now after 1 month, then I have to let go, and I know I will. I just wonder if I would be more interesting for him if I just don't call. It's so strange that he doesnt wonder how i feel or if I met someone else. He always cared about that before. That's why I'm afraid he met someone. So you think he's the typical person who needs a drug.....I actually think so too. He had the same kind of relationship with his other exes and he always finds an other woman before he leaves one, but I can never be sure he does the same this time, but I think so. He just can't be alone. He needs sex and if he still didn't have someone he would have probably called me by now. It hurts soooo much.

Thank you everyone....real good replies this time!! We were arguying alot during the whole relationship and we hurt each other alot. We both did some really bad things. We broke up so many times. In the beginning I was the one but for the last year he broke up with me at least 10 times, but always came back saying that I was his drug. The sex, attraction, passion and love was very strong for both of us, but everything else was hopeless. He was like a shell, never telling much about himself and I was very open. Anyway, everytime I felt bad and disappointed I contacted his best friends. They preferred me, since I was open and funny and I told them everything about our relationship. He found out and was very upset. When he broke up again and I really thought it was for good I even was very intimate with his best friend and with other guys. He read it in my diary afterwards and broke up again. Finally he couldn't trust me, we had no friends and we both felt very bad, especially him. So that's why he broke up and told me again that this was for the last time. I didn't believe him since I know he's so attracted to me. We had sex the night before, but the day after he was feeling very bad and told me that he can't keep on living his life like this, he can't trust me and he wants a better life and relationship then this. Anyway, he didn't contact me since. I called him 2 times since he told me that we could still talk and be friends. But when I called he didn't sound very happy so I stopped calling. I met him 2 times on the street a week after and he didn't even say hello. i sent him a birthday card by email and he didn't write thankyou. I feel like he met someone new and it hurts so much, since he always came back to me before.

So if you don't call your ex, he might get interested and call back and maybe remember you more? Don't understand!

It's exactly one month today since he broke up with me and it's getting worse now than before. Since we often broke up with each other and then got back again after about a week, I was kind of prepared on that he would contact me again after a while, but this time it's really over and I feel like I'm dying inside. I lost several pounds and I look like Mary-kate Olsen. I eat, but I still loose weight. I'm so scared. I can't sleep at night, it hurts so much and I feel like he doesn't care. The thing is that a went to a media (a which) who told me that he already met a new girl and since then (1 week ago) I feel worse than ever. I know it really shouldn't matter if he's seeing someone else since it's over, but I thought that he was feeling as bad as I do. It would make me feel better if I knew he was as hurt as I am, and that he also would like to talk to me. I met him twice on the street 1 week after the break-up and he didn't even say hi. I can't believe that after 4 years he doesn't even care to say hello. How can he be so rude? I know he was hurt by me, but HE broke up with me. Is this very typical for a man who has met someone new? I feel like calling him so bad, but I don't know what to say? I think that I want to know if he's seeing someone just to be sure and to be able to move on. I think it will be easier then. Otherwise I keep hoping that he will finally call. I always thought he was crazy about me and weak and as soon as I call or something he gets weak and wants me back, but this time I feel that it's over for real and I want to die. What shall I do? I really want to know. Shall I call him or call his friend or spy on him? I think I'm getting crazy.

I feel the same way. Today it's 4 weeks since he broke up and I think he sees someone else. I just feel it. Otherwiser I'm sure he would have called me by now. I feel so low and so sad....worse than I did the 3 first weeks, probably because I still hoped he'd call me. Now I realize he will never contact me again and it hurts so much.

I know exactly how you feel, cause I'm there now. Why do some people just move on and maybe find a new bf/gf, while some people like me have such difficulties to let go. I know that my ex probably already met someone new, but I can't. I keep thinking of him several times a day, I hope he'll call me everyday and hope we will get back even though I know it's not gonna happen this time cause we messed up totally. How do people think that let go? Did she never ever call you? An old ex of mine also left the country and I didn't know how to get in touch with him for 4 months, which was good. otherwise i wouldn't have moved on. Finally i found someone new.

I am in the same position as well. HE broke up with me on bad terms as well, so he has been upset and angry with me for at least 6 months before he finally broke up for good 4 weeks ago. Well, he doesnt want to talk to me either and it hurts. He also had his birthday a week after the breakup and I sent him a birthday-card by email, but he didn't respond. I met him twice on the street but he didn't even say hi. It's so horrible. I feel the same way as you do. It's sad when I think about all the good memories and when I look at the pictures from when we were in love not so long ago. I think he still loves me, but he is so mad at me and doesn't want any contact to heal and to move forward, and that's what I think your ex is doing too.

He broke up with me almost 4 weeks ago after a 4 year long relationship which wasn't very healthy. Anyway, we both had lots of strong feeling for eachother and I could NEVER immagine him never to call me again. He said he cared about me and that he wanted to stay friends, but when I wanted to be friends while I was very sad the first days after the breakup, he was upset and didn't want to talk. Do you think he will calm down after a while and maybe call me in a few month or what happens normally? Don't they usually finally contact you just to see how you are doing or don't they ever call again? I don't think he met anyone new, but you never know. Just curious, since I'm beginning to move on, but still can't understand the fact that he never contacts me like he used to do before.

What you can't get is what you want. I dont want the guys that are chasing me and the guys who always want me. Normally when my ex broke up with me I started calling him or he would call me after a week or so and we got back together again, but without any respect for eachother. This time I will NOT call him. It has been 3 weeks exactly since he broke up with me and 2,5 weeks of NC and everyday feels a little better. But I hate myself for thinking of us getting back together again after a while. I wish I could just accept that it's OVER for good, accept that he doesn't want me back again, and even if he wants me back again after a while, I should make up my mind and decide that it's over in my head!!! Why do I keep hoping?? I'm sure that in his mind it's over for good and I hate that. It's really really like a drug and I wish there was a pill or a surgery that could help me get rid of this guy and the thought and memories of him. How do I do and how am I supposed to think?

...but what shall i do if I keep seeing him all the time and he sees me? I want to get rid of him, but I can't move out of town since I have a child going to school here. I feel like moving far away, but that doesn't solve any problems in the long term i guess. I try to move on, not to call or anything, I go out, go to gym and hang around friends, but I can't just sit home just to be sure not to see him. Why can't he just say "hi" when he meets me? I mean after almost 4 years he could at least try to do it for his son's sake.

My ex broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago since he didn't trust me and didn't feel good in the relationship because of that. Just the day he broke up, we didn't fight and he wanted us to call eachother if we need to. AT first I didn't want to be his friend but the day after I felt lika talking to him since I felt so bad about it. But after a few days when I called him, he was very upset and it seemed as that he doesn't want me to call him anymore. He's so mad at me for everything and I know he wants to avoid me, so all I did was to send a gratulation card by email the day after his birthday. He didn't respond. I also met him out the same day but he didn't say hello, nor did his son. Only a few days later I meet him on the beach doing inlines with his son. I saw him too late and we didn't say hello. He pretends like I don't exist and it hurts so much. Eveytime I see him it hurts and I really really try to avoid him; the town I live in is quite big so how come I see him. Last night my daughter went out with her friend for halloween while I was at the gym and without my knowledge she rang on his door for halloween. His son opened the door and gave her and her friend some money and the son told her to say hello to me. I was SO upset when I heard that my daughter was at his place last night. Why is this happening to me when I really really try to avoid him? I know that he thinks that I'm doing this on purpose, but I really feel alot better if I dont see him at all.

I sent the card 1 day too late for his birthday but he dosn't reply or say thank you. I feel that if I never ever contact him again, he'll forget about me. I don't know how to react? What do you think is the best in this case? I think that this time he is sure of his thing, sure of not wanting to be hurt anymore. But when I think about it like 2 months ago, he seemed the same way but when I called after a week he agreed on one more chance. That's why I have difficulties on just leaving it. There might be another chance; how do I know he really means it for sure this time?

I can't believe that you have come so far at only 2 months!!!! Wow! So the NC-rule actually IS the best thing? So she can't reach you on the phone anymore? She dóesnt know where you live? Do you think exercising is the best thing and friends? I dont know how to feel good, since I lost my job and I lost my boyfriend.

Well, I was chocked when I realized it was him on the street so when I saw him he was like in front of me....and he at first didnt see me either, but when he saw me he just continued to walk. I didn't say hello at first, but after he was almost passing by I did say it, but got no reply. Everything that you say is true. He must be even more hurt than me, but when he found out about me seeing his best friends he still wanted me back and he told me that he was able to forgive me for that. But then, after a while the thoughts came back and he couldn't trust me. He didn't see anyone while we broke up from what I know. But he read my diary and found out everything that I did while apart. He was really hurt. I know I should forget about him, but since I feel that I did so much wrong and so many mistakes it's hard for me to forgive myself for hurting him so much. Why is he so upset about all that happened several months ago? Why didn't he think about it then and why did he still want me back then? Now it's hard for me, since I thought he accepted everything and he still loved me. I would so much like to talk to him, but I am sure he doesn't want to, since he is so upset with me. All his anger is coming NOW by some reason!!

After a long destructive but very passionate relationship and several breakups during the years my ex finally made up his mind and told me that we really have to go on with our lives separately, since he feels that he's dying inside. He wasn't happy for 1 year with my and couldnt trust me. Well I didn't believe him when he told me 13 Oct that we have to break up for good this time and that he wants to be friends. I didn't want to be friends I said. But the day after I called him and told him that we can be friends and he said ok, but that we should never discuss feelings or try to win each other back. Anyway, I felt that i had to talk and called him everyday for 3 days and he finally answered the phone after 3 days and was feeling really bad. He felt that I'm destroying his life and that he regrets everything with my since I went out with other guys....I hurt him. But I felt that if he's angry with me, that means he still has feelings. Anyway I stopped calling him after that. But then it was his birthday this monday and I didn't knoiw what to do. I think he would get hurt if I didn't send him a card after almost 4 years toghether, but I'm not sure. Anyway I didn't send a card the same day, but met him by mistake on the street and we were both chocked and didn't even say hello to each other but just passed by like we don't know each other. I was really sad after that so the day after I sent him a gratulation card just to show him I care. But I don't know if that was good, since I feel very bad right now. He obviously doesn't want any contact with me even though he said he wanted to in the beginning. I feel so bad about this, I feel like we are enemies, strangers....it's so sad! Is this normal? I just feel like calling him but I think that he needs to be alone. Before when we broke up, we always contacted each other after 1 week or so and then we were back together again, but this time I don't dare to call him again since he didn't even say hello to me on the street. HE was the one who broke up, so why is HE so hurt. I should be more hurt than him!!!!! Please help me to understand him, how he's feeling. I know I've done alot of bad things, dating his best friends and going out with other guys, but that was when we had a break. I don't know what I want, I guess I don't want him back since he doesn't have confidence in me, but I would like to be his friend and to talk to him sometimes.

He broke up with me 14 Oct, last thursday after almost 4 years. We had a very very destructive relationship where we lived toghether for a year, then I moved out for a year, then moved together for 6 months again and then I moved out again in february. We both thought it was over for good, but he called me the day after and we continued to be together. Our love is so strong but we fight all the time. Well, we broke up several times before and we really hurt eachother alot through this relationship. For the last 6 months he broke up with me at least 5 times and then wanted me back again since he couldn't be without med. Everytime he broke up, I went out with other guys, including 2 of his best friends just to make him jalouse. I know it was stupid and i regret it, but I just hated him som much and wanted him to get hurt. Everytime he took me back he found out through my diary what I've done and his confidence towards me was 0. He got ill and had to go on depression-pills since august, so I felt really bad about everything. He wanted me to give him everything, without giving so much back, since he was so hurt, but I couldn't. We both felt so bad, but we love each other so much. Why do we hurt eachother then? Well, anyway...he broke up with me and told me that this is the last time he breaks up, that we will not be together again. I wasn't sure, since he's been telling me that som many times before. But this time he was sure. He wasn't upset and told me that if I want to stay friend and talk, that's ok with him. But I said that day I can't be his friend. But the day after I panicked and called him wanting to be his friend and wanted him to agree that we would call each other as many times as we need. He said ok. But when I called him the morning after he was upset and told me that he was sleeping, so I said I'm sorry. I called him the whole last weekend but he didn't pick up any phone. Monday morning I catched him on the phone and he told me he was sick and had been really sick in the flu the whole weekend. I started to ask him if he doesn't miss me and that I miss him so it hurts, but then he got really mad and told me it's better we don't contact each other if I'm trying to get him back. He told me he regrets all 4 years we had toghether, he feels like a fool who accepted the way I've been treating him. He has lost his best friends because of me and he can't forgive me. Then he hang up. Since then I haven't contacted him. Shall I just leave him alone?

We have been together for 4 years. We have tried to live together twice and moved out from each other twice. We both think it's over for good everytime, so I try to date guys and even dated his best friends since I thought it was totally over between us. When we went back together again everything gets even more infected then before and for the past 6 months he couldnt trust me at all, so he broke up with me almost once a month and then wanted me back again, since he missed me and loved me. But this time he got enough and broke up again. I felt it was the last time. He told me that this time he will definitely not get back to me and that it was totally over between us, but that we can talk as friends if I wish. But when i called him, he didn't want to talk if i tried to get him back. He really hates me and feels that i've destroyed his life and cheated on him. He can't even be with his friends anymore like he used to. He was really upset the last time i called which was monday. He broke up last thursday. Now I wonder what to do? Is the best thing to let him go and heal, and if he ever wants to he'll call me. But I shouldn't call him, right? It's his birthday next week, should i not call?