Huli

i was just wondering how long you guys have chatted and i read your post again and found my answer; last few weeks. Start worry about this stuff after a half year of chatting I'd say. Besides, 19 isn't the age to wreck yourself out about your future. Keep up the contact and see how things go. Words like 'love to be with you' sounds easy but it's a big deal to even be there on the same squared meter as she is (unless you can affort going there without your parents protesting of course). Liking someone need to deepen and if you can't have normal contact with each other, you'll never learn how she really is and get attached to her (and vice versa). I'm in the same situation, but a little worse. And I'm keeping myself up here, and read loads of stuff about long-distance relationships. Maybe you should too! And then.. time will learn

it's not the looks, it's how they were raised. I know a really nice girl, who has dignity, the brains, and the common sense to know that (since she's also goodlooking), 90% of the guys talking to her is just interested in what beneath the clothes (and the face of course). it's the matter of trial and error. after being harassed a couple of times, they just start to build up a defensive wall. So unless you approach her from a formal, not-on-looks-based manner, she'll treat you like a friend too (but you dun wanna be friends do you, you want more ) OF course, there are real b*tches who think that things are settled in their best interested with a wink of their superduperpurty eye. But that's environment n all, those poor babies can't help a thing

ow forget to mention one thing. most girls dun see the 'normal' or 'average' guy who lives just around the corner. instead they hear, talk and gossip about the bad guys. Until the good guy suddenly has a gf, one starts to think 'hey, why didnt i notice him before?' so what you might try to do is stay mysterious, invoke their interest, act unpredictable. When you receive their attention make them work for it. the cause of girls leaving you easily is maybe because..they gained you just as easy.

phew can't believe i actually read through your post. tell you what, you can go and try to be 'mr bad * * * * *', cause i think you won't be able to do it. it's like a good citizen is just unable to steal stuff out of stores while those stuff are just lying outside ready for you to grab and whistle off. It's you, or it's not you. those guys/girls who treat the other sex like * * * *, they have their own pains. You think it's fun being someone who changes partners like clean socks? At least people won't talk behind your back saying stuff like 'Who, him? naww, half of town has slept with him, he's trash' like others prolly already have said, those girls who stick with bad boys, they're not the ones you're looking for or think they are, and they are thrillseekers, popularity-oriented teenagers. But of course, some just fall in love with the wrong types. I understand your line of thought, i think i'd feel the same way about it when i bump into so many 'proofs'. But what also crossed my mind is.... you find it important to have a gf dont you? somewhere in your post i read '.. after being single for 6 months ..' is it really that important to you that you have a girl next you? I've been single for 2 years, had a go with a guy i dont'really like, broke up, had a go with another guy without really feeling something for him, broke up etc. and I'd much rather have someone who really is there for me, then to have a bunch of cute nice guys filling my weeks. Turning into a 'bad' girl and attract more guys..that sounds so horrid to me, it's like selling myself off to those sex-hungry fools (imo of course). try to become a bad guy, you'll see. girls won't stay long either. There might be more peeps interested in you, but what's their interest based on? something that you're not. Plus you'll miss out the girls who fall for nice guys

BBBB that's much more natural and gives the girl a chance to talk herself out of it if she's really not interested. option A seems too direct and, imo, like a big lie in front of my face from someone who wants to get some cause he finds me 'pretty looking' perhaps B is just the same, but takes a bit longer for the guy to get the number, and it might also be some guy on chick-hunt, but at least it gives the ladies the idea that they're actually interested in more than just their looks. It's a comforting thought no?

went through somethign like that, but i was just leaving for a month. you know, finding someone whom you like and likes you back isnt that easy. You guys can always keep up the contact through email etc. and meet off and on. At least try to see if it'll last?

you guys really cleared up my mind about what love is..thank you for that. no matter how things will end, he has 2 years to proof himself, that goes for me too. it's true that he's got a violent past, but i trully hope he's not like that. ..

sometimes it's so 50/50, I'd tell myself that I'm becoming more and more of a moron believing things like that, but then when i see him, i see how serious he is, i can't even think of it might be lies that came out of his mouth. cause IF those really were lies, im never gonna have such contacts with guys (since im straight) ever again, unless it's people i already know from RL thanks annie for your opinion, and i hate to think ''dammit mom's right again' but that'd be the most believable conclusion.. for now, im just gonna do what i planned to do; study for 2 years and go abroad to study (to the country where he lives) and meet him there, see if it's real or not. Cause at least then, I'd have nothing to lose. Except for my faith in cyberhappenings

holy.. i can't really give advice since im not really experienced (or old) enough for it. But..6 years together, married for less than 1 year, and almost 4 kids? My dad was someone who doesnt really care about the stuff happening at home, i can tell you that if this goes on, it's not gonna be good for the kids, the fact that he's meeting others outside your marriage means he doesnt really care enough. And you're right, he wants single life plus a caring wife at home who feeds him and takes care of him and takes up his * * * *. If you didnt have kids, i'd say kick his * * * out of your house. But you do have kids. (how old is the oldest child?) and that makes things more complicated. You know, if he's willing enough to take care of you during your last weeks of pregnancy and thereafter (babycare n all), I'd consider to forgive him. Perhaps when he gets into contact with his own child, he might think otherwise of his recent (horrid) acts. As my own mom will say, splitting up also has a price, you gotta be able to split up in order to split up. So unless your family is as kind as to take care of you and your children, put up with him just now. You guys might be still young, and we all know men are slow to grow up. He might have a clearer mind further down the road

*sigh* my situation is heaven and hell at the same time. it might be a quite original cyber-love-story. I've met someone (23 years old) over 3 months ago in an online dancing game, we exchanged chataddresses. From day 1 we talked alot, but nothing very intimate. The first time he said he loves me was 3 days after we met, it made me laugh internally and think 'wait till we're a month further, you'll think differently then', of course, i didnt believe what he said and thought it was just a lie or a tingling rush. who knew he was serious, cause everytime i get annoyed or angry he panicks. when i jokingly said 'i'm not gonna talk to you again' over the webcam(with mic) he froze, and i saw tears rolling down his face. It wasn't the first time i saw that, nor the last. now, 3 months later, he has already lost his drivers license due to driving under influence, lot of money cause of stupid reasons like searching for the nearest internet cafe when the place where he usually is had an electricity breakdown (he works nightshifts in an internet bar), damaged his hand when he crashed his dvd player out of sheer depression (i convinced (read: begged) him to visit the hospital, otherwise he'd have 2 dead fingers now) i feel like im dragging him down to hell, and he admits he tried to forget everything, but he couldn't. The worst thing is that he feels like there's no reason to live without me in his life. True, his situation is pretty bad (uncaring parents, no money, bad job, no security, living and working alone since he was 15), so i was dead in my tracks when i tried to convince him there's more than just me in his lil world. He knows he's putting pressure on me, and he never complains when i need to study 7 days straight and 4 hours long, those days he just looks at me through the webcam and talk a little, or let me listen to some music from his side. I'd love to be by his side, but there are some vital problems: im living a half globe apart from him my mom's absolutely not fond of him, she even laughs at him (cause he's sort of a short guy) im still studying, for a few years he's got no steady income or job to um, afford me? but still, oh my god, when can one find someone who dislikes porn, who doenst have sexual urges except if it's you, who talks little to anyone about himself except to you (we talk about everything and he never backed off), who cares so much about you that he wants you to go to bed early while he hasn't eaten the whole evening (nor slept more than 5 hours?) of course, most importantly, i do (think) i love him, even though i never understood what love really means (except the love for my mom lol), he brought out so many unknown emotions out of me.. but most of all he's the proof that cyber 'love' can be something out of the ordinary. But, BUT!!!! can it become something real, you think? *collapses*

I had this discussion with someone before who only believes in one person as the right person. I said 'I think I disagree', but less politely. To me, there are no 'the one', but a group of 'the ones'. out of this world, couple of people will just fit with you. The more time you spend with someone, let's say for 5 years, wondering whether that person's 'the one' for you, the more you'll be doubting things. Instead, just go on living your life and build up a relationship with that person. Cause when you suddenly feel like he/she's not 'the one', so many years have past, you have lived and built up something with that person that you can't just leave behind so easily. That person has grown into 'the one' for you. Easy as that. The ways of meeting and fitting with that person might differ, but it all ends with a similar situation; you're happy with what you have and you can't imagine leaving it all behind and go hunt for your imaginary 'the one' after all the years you've spend with someone. btw, PendingVendingmachine, if you're age is correct, you're still 16. in that period of time you've found 2 persons you want to spend your life with. You have to endure more suffering and give and take to be able to say that sentence, don't you think?

hey, some people are more picky than another. If you really want to have all those things done with, you can do it anytime anywhere with anyone. So I suppose you have some standard rules ingrained. I'd say keep that up! Like said dozens of times before, you're too young to worry about these things; it's probably more peer pressure than you yourself wanting to do those stuff at your current age. now your questions: don't expect things back from the ladies, offer what you have and don't want something back. Treat them like good friends and express your feelings on time (not when she's doubting you and not when she's taking you more like a friend than a potential bf). Pick-up lines are for players, at least I heavily ignore guys who uses pick-up lines on me/have those 'leaning in' tendencies. another thing that might help: know what type of girls (character) you like to make things easier for you ^_^ I'm very happy to see the reactions of the guys here on the forum, cause there are forums where when you read the posts you can just CHOKE those superficial 'damn she's got no boobs that's no woman!' -guys. So cheers for you. Girls don't dump good guys, at least smart girls don't. I had my first kiss when I was 14, with my first bf and I didn't see it coming. From there on I kissed 4 guys and never had a real relationship before. No sex and no serious touching. I won't worry (much) about appearance, clothes, looks etc. etc., I dont' use make-up when I'm out of bed way too late (which happens 80% of the time), I'm not married to the mirror, never seriously doubted myself so I don't believe a guy can't see confidence in me. Yet that doesn't make me a person who easily gets a relationship, so confidence isn't the key really. It's just easier on yourself to have it. And I also don't like a guy who uses one hour to fix his hair and all, but most girls DO like hygenic guys (no dirt under yer nails). Appearance matter, but certainly not always.

hi there. I've seen and I know those 'cleanse' products. They really just empty your whole lot. imho, that's not healthy. you might loose weight for a while, but it will fill up again. it's just temporary. Instead you can just as well eat things that stimulate your stools.

lol darkblue, but Im afraid rich women who spend money on guys are mostly considered sugar mommy (kidding). I understand your point. But I guess the world's psycho like this: men spending money on women is more common than women spending money on men. But usually, like, after a marriage, women put more energy in the family than men. *usually* not always and not everywhere. No offense to guys *hides*

so many great opinions and theories here I'm sure whatever I'm gonna say, it's been said 50x before I did. looks matter, that's like, a fact now. People care cause they care about their environment's level of acceptance of their partner, and what the environment sees is the outer side. So I'd say change environment, and you might get better chances finding someone you like and who likes you back just as much. But of course, we being humans, are just too pig-headed. we don't change with a snap, we change by bumping into a wall (are these words even correct?) several times (OR being lightly electrocuted a few times but let's not go there). I guess lot of people lose their faith and hope after a number of failures. But hey, think of the people who have worse lives than you are (cause we work that way; we feel better thinking of worse) but also who are better off than you. And realise; you're normal class. That's the best thing you can get. I know I tend to expect and assume things; like, when I see a guy walking next to another girl chatting cheerfully I automatically think: 'couple'. But when you know that guy's eyes are strangely wandering off to you, you think 'classmates?' and suddenly you feel different than before. So make it easier for you; only believe what's really black on white and don't think everyone's having a partner except you. Besides, people having a partner usually have even bigger problems than ones without one. You can only know after having a bf/gf and realise: damn, being single felt much better.