bronx_brawla

From my experience this seems to be more present in girls. Reason being that their moods change every second. I happen to be a person that knows what i want...and i know myself and my limits and desires. I haven't met a girl thats my age that wants a long term relationship...or that thinks like me. And by long term i mean that it will be so strong that it will lead into marriage one day. Thats what i want. And most girls around me...and many other places aren't looking for that. I live in New York. And i dont know if you know...but New York is one of the major "party" citys. I dont know if you know how hard it is to find a committed girl. I guess i just havta wait like every other good guy that just wants something meaningful. I had something real with my ex. But she couldnt accept who i was...and at the end...she changed into this other person. Thats why i understand what you saying. She's been doing things a 17 year old would do. And shes 22. And this is what hurts me the most. I'm so tired of looking...finding...and losing. Whats the point of looking if most girls arent serious and like you said..."havent finished growing" I believe girls take longer to find themselves than guys do. My problem is...that im too ahead of everybody my age. All my friends do all these things that i'm over. And it makes me sick to my stomach to know that i have to wait just to be happy one day. If that day even comes. I dont know what else to say. thank you for taking time out to reply. --bx

thank you. But trust me...theres too many girls that still don't want a guy like me. Thats why my chances are slim to none. --bx

I feel you on this one. Theres times i want to cry...but i just can't. Its like my soul is screaming...and i have no voice. great poem. --bx

BEAUTIFUL... --BX

She sould'nt be wearing anything that is going to attract attention if she has a boyfriend. Why do you think she likes it????...Cuz of the attention that she gets when she wears it. Girls are very insecure by nature. And they need to be reminded of how they look. But she has a bf. And thats not acceptable. PERIOD!! good luck ---bx

If your upset and mad with her...leave her guessing...dont even asnwer and leave it as that. If you have plans to be with her again as friends...tell her...That your not emotionally ready to be friends with her andy time soon. If she cares for you she'll understand and respect your decision. good luck ---bx

wow...i didnt expect these insightful replys. Thank you so much everybody. I realized a long time ago that ill never find what im looking for in these types of places. Thats why im pretty much over that whole scene. But on the other hand...what other places are there to find women that would wanna settle?..yanno? My last relationship really tore me apart. And still is. The thing that kills me more and more everyday is the fact that my ex turned into this club going...flirting..party girl, that is always with her girls and around guys. This is the same girl that told me in the beginning that she didnt like these type of things. And shes not that type of girl. She is not the same wholesome loving and thoughtful girl that i fell in love with. I would'nt even talk to the type of girl that she is now. Ounce she got a taste of the single life after me...she went and is still going crazy. She gets a few compliments from guys...and all of a sudden her head is blown up and she thinks she looks like a model. In her mind..she feels life is too short. So shes so invloved in herself and having fun doing what ever she wants. And i'm the one here hurting and still crying. But then again...shes hurt me and left me. So im sure getting over me has been 100 times easier for her. And these are the kind of girls that make up a large population. Thats why i think my my chances of finding a girl like me is slim to none. I mean how many girls like to be smothered my their boyfriend? I would love for my gf to be all about me and nothing but me. But too many girls wanna have there own lives sometime. Which i can understand...but not when your with someone that you love and wanna be with for many years to come. Hopefully. I'll never understand why some people change for the worse. I guess she felt like she was missing out on something. I even recall her saying to me one time in the midst of an argument, that she wasnt ready to settle. God i wish she told me that in the beginning. I would'nt have wasted almost 2 years of my feelings and my trust for nothing...and i wouldnt have got hurt. But you know what they say.... "That was then...and this is now" thanx again everybody. If anybody else has something to say. Please dont hesitate to post ur thoughts. I'd like to hear more. ---bx

Greetings to everyone that dont know me and to those that have given me advice before. I wanna thank you, but im still at a loss with the one person that i dont think i can find. To start let me tell you about myself and what i expect in a relationship. And then mayby you guys can tell me if what i am looking for is realsistic or im just wasting my time. I started dating when i was 16 years old. And went through alot of new things that i've never experianced before like everybody else. I was with her 2 1/2 years. The last half was on and off. Of course it was her choice to breakup with me when it ended. So that was that. I was devastated. A couple of years later a good friend of mine introduced me to one of his exs. At first i said i didnt wanna date her cuz he did. But i figured, what the hell it was a long time ago...and things are different. So i started talking to her for a while and we started to really like eachother. We were together for almost 10 months. Until she decided to leave me and go to college. So now this the second time i was f'd over and heart broken. Couple of years later this other girl finds me on this site. Never thought that it ended up the way it did beacause this the only girl i actually loved. We where together for almost 2 years. And guess what?...You guessed it...heartbrake number 3. This was my last relationship witch ended 4 months ago...officialy..when she changed into this other person and decided to move to college. And i have to say that it was the most stressful yet meaningful relationship i ever had. I loved her. But we were at different levels in life and of what we wanted. I'm gonna cut to the chase. All i'v ever wanted was a longterm relationship that would be so loving and genuine that it would lead into marriage one day. Ever sinsce i started dating (16 yrsold) i wanted a long term realtionship. Being with someone you love and that loves you the same way has always been my dedication. I guess you can say that i'v always wanted to settle down. I'v done my share of "seeing" people...but i really dont like it that much beacuse in the end it really duzzent mean anything. So i'v always wanted more. Not just sex. To me...sex is meanigless if you dont love someone. And when your seeing them...you really dont love them. But i'm only 21. And the girls today, my age, dont want to settle down. All they seem to wanna do between the ages of 16 and 25, is go to clubs...bars..lounges..with there friends...flirt with guys...dress too revealing and trashy...and just be single and think that life is one big party. And i had a big conversation with my friend today and i asked him if i'll find what i'm looking for one day. Obviously i want the opposite of what i'v listed previosly. And he said that mayby when you want to get married you will...but not now. Now...i've done my share of clubbing and goin out and having fun. I'm over it. Yeah i'm only 21,,,but i dont think like im 21. My emotions and my needs reflect what i want in my life. And im really afraid that i'm not gonna find what im looking for. Are my demands too high?...My intentions are good...so why have i always been hurt and betrayed and mislead??...Is there any hope for me any time soon? I just want a girl that wants to settle down (im not talking about marriage..just a girl that is done with all this partying bs that is my age). Keep in mind that that is all i've seen and keep in mind that i am pickyy and i know what i like and what i need. ANd i dont wanna settle for less in anything. not just looks. IMPORTANT Q??**Are there gilrs out there that are content with their world revolving around their bf?...like i am to my gf? So am i looking for something that i cant get or find? **im sorry i typed so much and i appreciate you taking your time out to read everything** thank you all ---bx

OK... Me being a very jealous person i'll tell you that its normal the way your feeling. I agree with Jinx on the communication thing. Communication so important. Like you said, jelousy can stem from insecurity. But not always. Do you know how many people have told me its because of insecurity? Now to me...insecurity makes me think of the way i look. And im fine with my looks. Dont get me wrong...everybody has something that they dont like about themselves. But for me..im almost confident. So i doubt my jelousy stems from insecurity like everyone things. Its more of a trust issue for me. It all started when i was 16 years old, when i had my first gf. She had this guy friend that lived accross the street from her. And his friends used to hang out in front of his house every night. And she used to also be there. And she lived up the block from me. I used to march up my block...tear her away from these guys...and ask her what she was doin and why is she hanging out with these guys. Now..anybody would look at that situation and say. "oh he was just jelous of them". Not true. I did'nt envee them in anyway. Not to sound cokky...but i was better looking then them and she was with me. But there was a time where she had lied to me about being in her guy friends house one time. And i caught walking out..the same time she was on the phone with me telling she was at the mall. That was it. I didnt trust her from there on in. So ever since then i never trusted any girl who had guy friends. And i prolly never will. Do what Jinx said. Try to come to a happy medium. Cuz you dont wanna leave him. And you wanna stay and be able to trust him. Negotiate. good luck ---bx

Just ask him so that you can get the picture straight and to find out what he meant. I'd be pissed if i were you beacuse their should be no reason as to why he's talking about other women in that way. Him bringing up the topic of high maintanance is a thought that a single guy has to consider. So that would bother me. Again..just ask. See what he says. ---bx

First of all...can i marry you??...lol....anyway. Besides the fact that he has very unusual bathing habits i think you should keep your eyes on him. I understand he wants to smell good...but who is he trying to smell good for? And as far as him ignoring you?...I'd get really mad at him for that. Theres no reason for you to be ignored. He definatly might be primping himself for other girls. Duzzent mean hes doing anything with them. But what hes doing is unacceptable. And you have every reason to be suspiscious. Keep looking for clues or "red flags" like everybody is saying. And when you've had enough...just say goodbye. What if the tables were turned???...What if you were doin that stuff? All i know is that i'd put a stop to that right away..or get outta there before i explode. lol good luck --bx

Thats pretty messed up if he breaks up with you for not haveing sex with him even though you promised. If he really loves you he wouldnt break up with you becuase of that. Sex is not that important. Sex is like crazy glue. A little bit can fix a problem. But too much can make a big problem. Don have sex just to have sex. Make sure you are both ready and do it safely if your gonna do it. Too many people today abuse sex. Two people meet and then ...boom...sex on the first date. I'v never been like that. In fact their were many times that i turned down sex because i didnt know the girl that well...and we weren't together. And im a guy!!!..lol. Seriously..i just feel that sex is sacred and that should be shared by only if you love eachother...and i mean real love. Not puppy love. To me its not sex...its making love. good luck ---bx --btw--forza italia!

wow..its funny that you said that...cuz her parents are separated. And theres no father figure around to give authority so everyones outta hand. And i had a feeling it had something to do with it. thanx again for the reply you really gave me different way to look at it. ---bx