chelly88

that's really true... i have no intention of leaving him. i dont expect him to say he never wants to get married...i know he wants kids. i guess just to get to know him better... i guess i'm expecting him to have the same sorta views and values i have... his parents are still together and seemingly very happy so there's no obvious reason for him to be against marriage.

I didn't mean like ask him to marry me... just like if he even thinks about marriage in general b/c there are plenty of people that view it as pointless and never want to get married. I realize it's too soon to ask anything else about marriage really...anything that i can think of anyway! I know he feels the same... everything he does says so and i can see it in his eyes every time i look at him. I posted almost 2 wks ago b/c he said he loved me after he'd had a few drinks and hasn't said it since. I'm not worried b/c i can see what's happening, and i think he realized that it might be too soon. and i hesitated b/c i didnt expect it... but i do truly believe i feel the same. it may not be mature yet and is still growing, and might not even work out but i have NEVER felt anything like this before. when you truly want to be there for them through all the good times and even the really bad times...to help them through and be there for them. i dont know how to start it... it just seems weird to be like "so what are your goals in life"...like an interrogation or something...

I have been w/ my b/f for just over a month now and believe that I am on the track of falling in love... I can't describe how i feel. there are so many words and yet not enough. I have never felt so happy as long as I can remember... never had feelings this strong for another person. I have been in love once but it was NEVER like this... not even at the beginning, not this strong. Anyway... i was reading an article on this site and was wondering when it's too soon to ask questions about future goals about family, travelling, life in general... marriage views and values, that kind of thing. I was going to ask b/c they are important but things like family and marriage stuff might scare a guy away if I ask after only a month right?

I have been on here, looking through countless posts by all of us looking for a concrete answer to what love is, what it isn't, what it should be, what it can't be and what it is to each person. I myself have come here looking for the answer... but after hours of searching I have realized that THERE IS NONE! I have had so many people tell me I'm rebounding from a previous relationship or that I haven't known him long enough or that it takes years to fall in love or whatever the opinion may be. The truth is, as it has been said a million times, love is what you believe it is... how you define love will be very different from how a lot of other people define love. Some people fall in love very fast and very easily, and fall out of love just as fast or easy, and some people take months or years to finally know they love someone. I think each person's personal experiences in relationships, influences from friends and family's relationships and views on love somewhat affect how we each think of it. It took me months to fall in love with my first love... and this time I think I knew from the second date, although I still won't admit to anyone how I feel. It's this feeling inside me saying that I know I love him and that's all that matters... not what anyone else says. I came on here, ultimately without realizing it, to hear someone confirm what I already knew... that I was falling in love. Every time I heard an answer I didn't want to hear I would continue searching the website to get confirmation that they were wrong... but no one can tell you if you are in love except yourself. Deep down inside you know... even if a small part, or a really big part- like me, doesn't want to admit it. There's no rush anyway... I've found myself obsessing over "is it love? or just lust? how do i know? i'm so confused!" instead of just accepting that either i know or I don't know and letting it flow. I don't understand why I felt such a desire to find out for sure... because when I stopped looking for one solid answer telling me "yes, you ARE in love" all I had to do was look deep inside. I'm terrified because love makes you very vulnerable to heartache and unimaginable pain but deep deep down I know what this feeling is and I know I have never experienced anything so powerful in all my life... not even with my first love. I say... love is a beautiful thing, cherish what you feel and hold onto that glow inside and relish in it instead of getting too caught up in a solid answer...because there isn't one.

I know... i thought it over and realized it is too soon. I always tend to overanalyze things lol. but there has been tons of signs that he really does care about me alot. he's a really sweet, shy guy... he doesnt hesitate to tell me that i'm pretty or beautiful or cute. there's lots of subtle stuff that shows me he cares... it's hard to explain. it may well be infatuation... but how do i know when it crosses the line from infatuation to love? if it does? we have both agreed to being exclusive with each other... we both like each other a lot and from what i understoof neither of us wants to see anyone else right now. he respected my wishes in the beginning to slow things down and continue taking it slow... which worked well until recently. we've both kind of found it hard to stay away from the other. there's no rush right? i should just go with the flow and whatever happens or doesnt happen will be.

i try to do things for him... but lately nothing has happened. i'm in school til 9pm some days and only get one early day a week. I see him every day but nothing special. we never have much time... monday is school from 10:30 until 9pm and when we see each other we go study in the library or computer lab. tuesdays we're done at 11:30 and then i go home. wednesdays i spend the nite at his place and we get off school at 7pm. thursdays i go home after i get off school at 5pm. fridays we're off at 2:30 and never go out because we work together saturday and sunday at 6am. sometimes he wants to go out but i don't because I need my sleep... it can take me a week, with my schedule, to catch up on lost sleep and i'm always exhausted from work and school. in summer, when we had more time i did do things for him. i'd make him a romantic dinner when he came over after work... but also was hard because he worked up to 70hrs a week and we both live at home. he has done some romantic things... well once. i came home and he was there. there were rose petals all over the house with little notes everywhere and candles. and then he made me dinner. he used to be more affectionate as well, kissing my head all night and holding me, saying he loves me for no reason or at no specific time. i try not to get moody but after i talked to him about all this and he hasnt changed and i get mad, i dont want to say anything of fear that i sound like a huge nag... then i get angry because he said he would try and he doesnt seem to be. i've told him how it makes me feel but when we talked about it he got mad because he didnt see anything wrong with it. he thought things were the same as they used to be...

ok... my boyfriend and I have known each other for 4 yrs and have been dating for over a year and a half. I'm not sure if i'm reading way too far into things, if i'm expecting way too much or if our relationship really is crumbling. I feel like he doesn't appreciate me at all, I've talked to him about this about two weeks ago and nothing has changed. He never compliments me on my appearance... i mean NEVER... not on clothes, hair... nothing. he doesnt seem to have a problem saying how good looking famous women are but with me.... nothing. he'll say "good job" when i get good marks on exams and papers but even then it sounds forced, like he doesnt mean it. he's not very affectionate with me... i get a quick kiss before i'm off to a class in the morning and a lazy arm put around me when we get home from school and watch t.v. but that's it. the only time he says "I love you" is after sex or just before he drifts off to sleep. he NEVER does anything romantic or sweet... he rarely even holds a door open for me. I wish he would do all this kind of stuff... but he doesnt. I've talked to him about plenty of times in the past and he says he'll try harder but it doesnt even seem as though he's making an effort. i don't know what to do... is this fixable? are we just not meant to be together? I love him so much... i want this to work so bad but it just seems that i'm becoming more and more resentful about everything. I get mad at him now for a lot... pretty much every day I get moody and mad at him...only him, i'm not short with anyone else. i feel like he doesnt care enough to try some of these things. what should i do or try to fix some of these things?

i forgot to put in there that his ex-girlfriend is in that class... the girlfriend he chose over me... he says she was nuts but everytime he sees her he tells me... "there's paulina" "paulina was sitting there" "paulina's in my quatro class"

ok, i just started university with my BF of 1.5 yrs and i'm getting so much jealous... but i dont know if i'm being paranoid for good reason or not. for example... he looks at every girl he see's (and doesnt seem to try to be too sneaky about it... it's pretty obvious. like he turns his head a bit or looks at them several times which drives me nuts). today, before his 2nd class he put cologne on. i asked him why and he ignored me so i was like "hello?" and he said "what?" so i asked him again why he did it and he was like "do you need anything else from the car?". he totally ignored what i'd asked twice so then i asked him why he was ignoring me and he told me that he put it on b/c he "didn't shower after hockey last night, he just rinsed off" meaning no shampoo or soap. of course i didnt believe him because i know he showers so i said that. then he said "well, i showered but i only had shampoo"... but i've never seen him shower with soap... he al;ways uses the lather from the shampoo on his body. so i said that he never uses soap and he just didnt answer. even if he DIDNT shower, why didnt he put it on in the morning for his first class, or for me? why wait until 12:30pm??? from there we had to go to our classes and we walked together, mine was on the way to his. so usually he kisses me and then goes toward the path to his class... today, there were three good looking girls standing right by his path so he decided to keep walking PAST the path for a few feet behind them and THEN kissed me... like he didnt wanna do it in front of those girls. i could be paranoid but i think something's going on. i'm not saying that he's cheating on me but i think maybe he likes someone in his afternoon class that he had to put cologne on for (but never does it for me)... any thought? sry its so long.