sillygoose

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart-ache. That's going to take a lot of time to get over. But you will. If you can handle it, stay friends with her. If it keeps you from getting over her, then maybe you should consider NC again. Do whats best for you. What's most important now is your happiness. Learn to be happy without her in your life.

Your doing the same thing i did to my ex. And guess what, he broke up with me. We had other issues but that was one main issue i knew i was causeing problems with. I know my problem is i have been let down a lot in my life. By my family and friends. So i'd automatically assume the worse. You made a little mistake and you automatically assume he's gonna leave you. It's actually those assumptions that are the problem. He's gonna get the impression your not going to trust him. So he's looking at porn with chicks who have something you feel you lack. If the thing you "lack" was as big of a deal to him as it is to you, then he would'nt be with you. I agree with Hope75, discuss you insecuritys with him. Just think, i ran into the same problem. I usually use the history thing on my computer to click on the usual websites i go to, probably cause i'm lazy and don't feel like typing it in. Well i used it on his, not intentionally snooping. I found some porn on there. But that's not what bugged me so much. It was that he was still visiting his account on this single website. That's when i said... "What the f?!?" So it could've been worse.

Hi Confused987. I felt the same way when i was your age. And i thought about killing myself plenty of times and figured no one would even notice. My family has plenty of messed up problems but my living arrangements were not quite as difficult as yours sound like. My advice to you, is to hang on. Give it time. Don't kill yourself over a problem that's only going to take up 5% of your life. Seriously, it'll pass. If you'd like to IM sometime, let me know and i'll give you my screename. I'll listen.

My bf and I broke up last week and I haven't seen him since because he went on vacation with his family. For a little background information, him and I met a few months ago. We fell in love after the first month and I spent almost everyday staying at his place. Last month he had received a job offer in another state and we had planned for me to move with him to continue school and so we can be together. Then because of the high levels of stress (Our relationship taking a big step, and also moving under a months notice) we started fighting over little things. Usually it was me who started it. He has been on his own for a long time now though. I'm taking this move harder because this is my first time leaving my parents house. The first few days without him were horrible. That's all I could think about was him. And how I was wrong for my part of the break up (How I shouldn't make such a big deal about the little things and that even though our relationship moved fast, I still want to be with him). I spent a lot of time thinking of what I can do when he returns to make him reconsider. In order to keep him off my mind, I've turned to my friends. I've been going out every single day with a friend either enjoying the sun in the day or the bar at night. Now I hardly think about him. My mind is fairly blank actually. I got a job this week but I keep telling myself that this is only if my ex and I don't get back together. I really want to be with him. I miss his company. And if I move with him it'd be a good opportunity for me. I can be with him, continue school, and go to the school I want to go to, and finally get out and take care of my own things, which I think would be best for me. If I don't go with him, I'll be still here at home, ignoring all the things I have to learn about adulthood. And I won't be able to go to school because my parents said they want me to get a full-time. Although I'd go to school anyways whether they like it or not but I'd be going to a school I don't care for only because it offers the program I want. Going with my ex is very appealing. But I want to make sure I go for the right reasons. That is, if he gives me a choice whether to go with him or not. I care for him vary much. I spent most of my days waiting for him to text message me so I can go over to his place and be with him. I love cuddling up to him and he makes me laugh. On the other hand, before the break up, I started comparing him to my very first relationship. He is a much better person then my first bf was. But, I was madly in love with my first bf. We talked on the phone for hours every single day. We looked into each other's eyes a lot more often. Sometimes I cried just because I loved him so much. And we were like that for 3 years. So now I'm confused. Is that the way I am supposed to feel about someone, or is it going to feel different with every other guy? And is it ok? Was it just young love that I had with my first bf or simply because it was my first bf? Am I just having a mature relationship now, which I never had before and it's normal and as long as I love him, it'll still be ok? After comparing him to my first bf, I'm not really sure if I'm in love with him or not. I mean if he'd be here right now, I'd embrace him in my arms and hold him forever. That's being in love right? Am I in love with him enough? If only it wasn't for the first relationship, maybe I wouldn't be having this problem? Maybe I'm comparing this to a once in a lifetime kind of love? And If I do make up my mind that I want to try and get this guy back, what do I say to him? Be honest? That I had to think about whether I loved him enough or not to go with him? I don't know if that'd be wise. Should I just keep it to myself? And talk about the stresses the move was causing but that didn't mean I didn't want to go with him. I still do want to go with him. But I'm not sure if my reasons are good enough. If I'm in love with him, then yes. It's a good enough reason. But first I gotta figure out if I'm in love with him. This is a lot to think about before I see him tomorrow since a while. PLEASE HELP!!!

There are quite a few young women in their 20's that are still virgins. Some people decide they arnt going to give it up until they know the moment is right, when they are sure that person is the one they are going to be with for the rest of their life. And they don't have to be religious either. Virginity is vary special to women, it means more to us then men think it does.

Dan, i didn't mean you should take her down. I said if I ever see her, i'd take her down. Of corse that's impossible, but you know, the thought that counts.

It's best you move on and find someone new. Have a fresh new start with a lady who will adore who you are now. At least then you won't have the problems of past anger and resentment which your ex may hold against you for longer then you can stand. If she has someone else, NC is best. You'll be fine.

Congrats on the new job and I hope it works out! Reading your first post angered me. I can't believe someone could be that cold. I've had a bf with a lack of heart but wow, not THAT bad. Amazing how some people can just walk through life doing that to people. Sounds like a 0/100 relationship. And i'd like to encourage you to continue the process of pushing her out of your life completely. Change your phone #, change your e-mail, avoid her at all costs. Tell your friends you don't care to hear about what she's up to anymore. Seriously, don't give her a chance to get a hold of you and mess with your head. I'd take her down if i'd ever meet her, and i'm not a violent person! So you take care of yourself! You deserve better, and you'll find better.

Thanks for the advice. I may just do that so i won't leave anything out. On the other hand, I have written him a small little note the day after we broke up. It was about how he ment a lot to me. How i was going to fight for our relationship because i could see us being together. And i also bought a rose, and took them to his work and gave it to the receptionist. Of corse when i got home i got a call from him saying he was on his way home and already in the other state which ment he left work early. And now next monday he'll find a dead flower on his desk with an out-dated note. I REALLY wish that would've worked now.

I'm new here, and this is my first post. My bf and i only broke up a few days ago and since then we haven't talked about the conversation we had that had caused him break it off with me. We have been together for a few months and fell in love in a months time. I started to spend the night at his place constantly and we'd go out and spend alot of down time together. After a while... it was mostly just down time. Spending the evening playing video games, watching a movie, or doing our own things. He got a job offer to hard to pass up a few weeks ago. He had made up his mind to bring me along. I had already set up a plan for college and all when we got down there. Everything was going fine. I had packed most of my things to get them out of the way so i could help him pack his. The other night i got a little down. I haven't been taking the stress well at all. We were moving in a months notice and this is the first big decision i had ever made. I was leaving my parents home, out-of-state. And i was finally going to start my life as an adult. Which is something i've wanted to do, and have needed to do. Anyways, i was sad and i told him i wish we'd be more like we were when we first met. We had moved pretty quickly into being serious. He got mad. Said i wasn't ready to move on. Said we were moving to fast for me. Which wasn't true. Otherwise i would've took it upon myself to not go with him. I love him to death. He broke up with me that night. He's been on my mind every moment ever since. I am ready to get out into the real world. I'm just not handleing the change well, which is vary normal for me. I am heart-broken. He is like no other guy i have met. I don't know what to do now. We talked once afterwards over the phone but it was about pointless stuff and it was awkward. He's been on vacation with his family, and hasn't responded to my voicemail i left asking him to call me again. I want to talk to him when he gets back but i don't know how i should go about telling him how i feel. I don't know how to convince him i do want to be with him and that i will be ok once we move out. But i will try to get him back, I am going to fallow my heart and fight for what i really want. And that's to be with him. I'm just driving myself insane as to how do i go about it without screwing it up and driving him away.

dear dear HeartBroke, i'm so sorry for your pain. I have gone through a similar situation with my first boyfriend a few years back. We were together for 3 years. One day like a train, he called me up to tell me he fell out of love with me and he wanted to end it. When only a day before he was telling me he wanted to buy a webcam for me so he could see me everyday (we lived a ways away at the time). I had all my things changed so he couldn't contact me ever again. It was hard because i loved him more then anything. But i had to put my foot down. And i had to give me a chance to get over him and really let it end. Because we have broken up before. The same thing... he broke up with me... because i was doing something... i don't remember what. Now that i look back, i wasn't such a bad girlfriend. He'd just leave and come back a month later and tell me how much he missed me. And i changed whatever it was he asked of me because i was desperate. But it seemed like he was gonna keep doing that til i became perfect. That was never gonna happen. There's only so much your heart can take until you have to stand up for yourself and move on. Believe it or not, making sure he wasn't going to come back was the best thing i ever did for myself. Why? I learned to be happy by myself. I concentrated on school and graduated with honors, and i gained alot of self-confidence which i had none of. I no longer relyed on him for my happiness. And i became stronger. He had me on my knees just like this girl has you on yours. Once is understandable if you love the person, repeatedly is not ok. You don't need this. Easier said then done, but begin your road of recovery, erase her number and her e-mail so your are not tempted. I'm sure you'll heal faster then i did. Good luck.

I'm sorry this guy is acting the way he is. It sounds vary strange. But i think talking things through can make a difference. Even if in the end the conversation didn't go the way you wanted it to, At least you know whats going on instead of wondering. Because even later on in life when your over him, you'd still think every once in a while what the heck went on and what u did wrong. You don't need that. You don't deserve it. You deserve a talk with him. If you really think he's the one, i hope things work out for you.