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simon_uk

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  1. simon_uk
    Thanks HL Well to be honest, I havent tried anything. She ended it and I have just accepted it. Never tried to change her mind, never contacted her, nothing. Of course, I still want her but I havent told her that, nor will I. From my past experiences in life in general, not just in relationships or breakups, giving anybody an ultimatum, usually results in them making a rash decision based on how they feel at that particular moment. Given that somebody giving an ultimatum is usually doing so for their own benefit, the person being asked for a decision usually goes against what the other person wants. Generally.
  2. simon_uk
    Hmmm bit below the belt that dont you think? Nice to know that you care about how other people are feeling and deal with things. Nice when people get personal because somebody disagress with their advice. Back to the topic, if this guy wants his ex back do you really think by him giving her an ultimatum of its now or never will really get him the result he wants? If you do then its no wonder I never took your advice if and when it was offerred.
  3. simon_uk
    For a veteran poster that is probably the worst advice I have ever seen given. Ultimatums lead to one thing and one thing only, never ever give anybody an ultimatum. No disrespect Helloladies but dude, come on.
  4. simon_uk
    Well my friend never buys me anything for christmas but I always get him something. I am not a * * * for tat kind of guy. However, my motive is to get a reaction and I do want her back, so I dont think I will send it. Thanks Everyone
  5. simon_uk
    Hmmm conflicting feelings there?
  6. simon_uk
    Ok I have been broken up with my ex for two months. She told em she loved me but wasnt ready for a relationship. It was my birthday 4 weeks after we broke up, no greeting. It is her birthday next week. Do I send her a card or not? We have been in NC since the day afetr we split. Thanks
  7. simon_uk
    Yes they can
  8. simon_uk
    I feel for you. I was in a similar position myself about 4 years ago. Was with my ex for three years she wanted children, I wasnt so sure. She kept talking about it, I kept putting it off. In the end she got sick of waiting for me and left. She never came back. I am not saying your girl will never come back but I am just telling you what I experienced. At the ned of the day if somebody loves you they will understand your fears and be sympathetic. thats my view anyway but how long should somebody wait? Do they want to be with you as a person or do they want to be with somebody, anybody who will provide them with what they want. i.e children? I dont know what to suggest but one thing I would advise is not to chase her, not to tell her you have changed your mind and you realise you do want children because this will be a major insult to her. She will think you only want children now because she has left you. I chased and pursued my ex until she had panic attacks. It was insulting to her that I asked her to marry me after she had left me when thats all she ever wanted from me when we were together. You need to stay strong, go to your counselling and if by luck or love she does come back to you, you need to work on your fears with her and if you do want children with her, you need to get on with it. Good Luck Simon And for what it is worth, I dont think you were wrong to share your fears with her. You were being honest.
  9. simon_uk
    Thursday: we make love and I am the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Her will never leave you you are my world, I love you so much. Friday: Her when do you think is right for us to move in together, you dont really sound keen. Me: I am, its just too serious to discuss via text message Her to pressure you Saturday: Her love you loads Sunday: Her need space Me Her: You dont sound too phased Me: ???? Monday: Her seem distant with me Me: Well I feel a bit uncomfortable as you dont know what you want Her: I do, I am not changing my mind Tuesday Her: I have been thinking and I am not ready for a relationship, i want o be on my own Me: ????????????????? Two and half weeks NC! Unbelievable, cannot fathom it for the life of me.
  10. simon_uk
    Dont really understand your comment Ron. Forgive my ignorance. Whats stopping me from what?
  11. simon_uk
    Well thats my point really Scout, she isnt wearing skimpy clothes, she doesnt go out and she hasnt the means nor the friends to go out. She is not in a position to meet anybody else and she doesnt particularly like sex. And before anybody says anything about maybe she just doesnt like sex with you, well I think she has got issues and hangups in that area. I appreciate your advice but I think we may be a little off the mark here and I am not just choosing not to listen, it is what I believe from the time I spent with her. Thanks
  12. simon_uk
    Thanks Scout Well I agree, i mean I have been out and treated myself because I have been feeling down. I am just probably putting things in my own head but the tattoo is in a place she cant see it herself, she doesnt wear revealing clothes, a short top that showed that off would be a definite no no in her eyes, she is just very formal and she never ever goes out. 1. Because she Has NO money, so I wonder how she paid for it (not that its my business even if we were together) 2. Because she has NO friends to go out with and 3. She doesnt like to go out. Like i say, maybe I am just looking too much into it, but I am really puzzled and hurt by her actions.
  13. simon_uk
    So do you think I am seeing things that arent there? I mean I am thinking along the lines of her having the tattoo because it was something I liked. I am thinking she showed it to my sister deliberately so she would tell me. Besides is it not usually the dumpee who goes out and makes radical changes? Always thought it was. She ended it, I never put a foot wrong, she didnt leave because of anything I had done. But because she 'said' she wasnt ready, talk of moving in together (which she brought up two days before we split) was always initiated by her. As was marriage and children. Confused
  14. simon_uk
    Thanks for the replies. Ron most of my presvious posts are about a breakup last year. I have only posted one other regarding this break up. Well its certainly baffled me. I have no idea if I knew this woman at all. Would appreciate anymore opinions if people have any.
  15. simon_uk
    I am really baffled and upset. I took my sister to look for a new car then took her back to mine to pack up the ex's things. It was really emotional or should I say I was really emotional. Anyway, my sister said she brought the ex a present back from her holiday, nothing too expensive but just something she would like. She said the ex didnt seem very grateful or she didnt really show much emotion about it, just kind of a blank look on her face and a quiet "thanks" Anyway then the ex said, "oh look at this I have got to show you" then showed the biggest tattoo accross the base of her back!!!! it was perfectly healed which suggests she had it done a week ago at least. My sister said her first reaction was, where have you got the money from to have this done. Which is what I also thought. She never had any money and I mean NO money. It was only just over two weeks ago that she said to me, we will have to have a quiet month this month because I have got NO money. Not even money for food and I cant afford to go out for my friends night out. I gernerally paid for most things because she was so broke. The second thing that I thought was. I always told her that I liked girls with tattoos, it is just something I find attractive. She had two small tattoos already but she said that was probably enough for her. She said she liked tattoos but didnt like them on the lower back, thought they were a bit common and not very attractive. So then, WHY ha she had a large tattoo on the base of her back? * * * is that all about? It made me feel quite sick when my sister told me. First because of the money (shocked as to where she has got it from) and second because she has had something done that she said she didnt like. She also said to my sister that she was thinking of having more done!!!! One other thing she asked my sister was whether she had her stuff from me. So I guess she really wants it and I guess she really wants it over. Now if this were somebody I had introduced my sister to and they had told my sister they loved her, told my sister that they wanted to move in with them and told me that they loved my sister. Then two days later dumped my sister. I would be asking what the **** are you playing at. However my sister said she doesnt want to get involved and she has to work with her and doesnt want a fallout. So overall I have had a bit of a **** night. I feel like I never even knew this girl. I dont know what the **** is going on. I dont think she will ever come back as she seems to really want her stuff back. So I think she really doesnt give a **** and never did. I feel so ill and upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anybody any words of comfort, advice?
  16. simon_uk
    Snow Patrol My relationship ended two weeks ago also. My girl was very confused about what she wanted. she told my sister she loved me the day before we broke up. Two days before that she was wanting to move in with me. A day after she thought things were moving too fast. She got scared, she scared herself. She left the relationships. She wants time alone. In this situation I think it is 'possible' we could get back and live the dreams we talked about. Would I take her back if she came back. Without doubt. Nothing is black & white and you CANNOT generalize. Good luck to you And by the way, I agree with your points 1 & 2 Point 1. No going back Point 2. There is a chance and it is worth another go
  17. simon_uk
    Boomer is right, you dont know the real reason, neither do I. But dont let Boomer's possible theory of another man enter your mind. You dont need to concern yourself with this. You dont need to concern yourself with anything. All you need to know is at this moment in time she doesnt want to be with you. Accept it and giver her space. She will come back, IF she wants to, if not there is nothing you can do. Pushing for answers will only hurt you. You may hear something you dont want to hear or you may just make her resent you. Either way, YOU lose. NC is the only way as much as you care and as much as you want to contact her.
  18. simon_uk
    People really shouldnt generalize about these things. No two situations are the same. Sometimes there are valid reasons that people cant be together at a certain time but that may well change in the future. I wont go into details or give specific examples but people will know if that is the case for them and their relationship. Nothing is ever black and white, nothing is written in stone. Dont believe generalizations. If you want hope that you may get back with your partner, sont let anybody tell you any different. If you want to think it is over and there is no going back. Dont let anybody tell you any different. 'Whether you think you can or you cant you are right" Believe what you want to believe, nothing more nothing less. You have the power, you know what is the truth.
  19. simon_uk
    Hi I have just had exactly the same problem with my girl. We were together three months and everything was perfect, she seemed so happy, told me how much she loved me often and how everything was just perfect. One week she got quite depressed and scared about the relationship but that subsided overnight and she was back to her old self. Then just two weeks ago, she again got into a funny mood, i dont know why, but that then led to us breaking up. She never gave me a real explanation as to why, she just said she wasnt ready for a relationship, even though for the past three months she was talking about living together etc, Even up until one day before she ended the relationship. My girl also has a lot of worries, family problems, financial problems, previously bad relationships. I dont know what to tell you man, because I dont know the answers. All I can say is i tried once to contact my gf, the day after we broke up and she was really quite hostile towards me, even though the day before she had told my sister she loved me. I wouldnt contact her if I were you, it will only bring her and you pain. She needs her time alone and I would give it to her. If you really want to have a chance with her i the future. Leave her well alone to find her own answers. I know how bad it is man. We just want and really deserve an explanation to this bizarre behaviour but pushing her will do just that, push her right away from you. I am very weak at the moment, I accidentally seen her earlier today. It was a complete accident, I am just glad she didnt see me. It set me back a lot and I was very close to breaking NC. But right now she is emotionally unavailable and me contacting her is very selfish. If she wants to contact me, she will in her own time. If not, i will be left with all these questions but I will know in my heart that I did the right thing. At the end of the day, we shouldnt be trying to win them back, they should be trying to win us back. We did nothing wrong. I hope you can realise this? Be strong and good luck. Its an uphill battle. Simon
  20. simon_uk
    Why would you want to manipulate your ex back in this way? I want my ex back as much as anybody else. But I want her back because she wants to come back, not because I used some mind manipulation.
  21. simon_uk
    Exactly. who she said she was. My ex told me, even swore to me she wasnt like other girls, she knew exactly what she wanted etc etc Well maybe that is immaturity on her part or maybe it was just such an emotional atom bomb that it scared the death out of her. I shall never know. But yeah, I had so much of myself invested in it because it seemed like fate.
  22. simon_uk
    Funny isnt it. How you expect them to act the way you thought they were? I mean I thought my girl was all about, honesty, openness and commitment. I guess she is honest, she broke it off with me because she wanst happy. got to respect that. But like you, I am expecting her to call me or turn up on my door and say that she really didnt mean it, she was so confused and scared but I guess that is asking too much. I guess we didnt really know them like we thought we did. I mean after all, we werent with them long right? Well chronologically we werent with them that long. Emotionally I have been with her for a long long time. That was the impact of what I believed we had.
  23. simon_uk
    Well I agree with you entirely. If they can just walk away when there are no real problems evident, what would happen if there was some kind of crisis? Now me personally, If I have a strong connection with somebody and a relationship with no problems. If I found that person attractive and enjoyed being with them then I would never leave the relationship. No matter what the problem was. It would have to be something very major, like infidelity or abuse. But then that is just me. I cannot speak for anybody else obviously. If she is not happy only she knows why she is not happy and nothing I can do can or will change that feeling.
  24. simon_uk
    I can guarantee from experience, the minute you are gone will be the minute he realises how much you mean to him.
  25. simon_uk
    She is not communicating with me Dreynolds. Not since the split on Tuesday. Any communication form her was prior to that. We have had NC since. I know exactly how you feel I just dont know what either of us can do but leave them to it.
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