simon_uk

Hi thanks for the reply. We were together almost two years but she lives 30 miles from me and works there too, when she works. Like I said she has no intention of getting a real job so if I moved her into my place she wouldnt be able to get to work as she cant drive. Why cant she see that though I didnt see her as often as she would have liked, I have a real job and am real tired when I get home, driving 30 miles t her and back takes its toll seeing as work is 30 miles each way too! Am I just stupid for wanting her back or what?

Hi I posted my story a couple of weeks ago, basically me girlfriend suggested we have a break but that turned into a complete split. Basically I was selfish and didnt make a commitment as soon as she wanted. I have been thinking about things recently and this girl has got issues. She is on anti depressants for a start so would often be very insecure, had low self esteem which she blamed me for. has a best friend who treats her like ****, even trying to get her jealous over me. Her mum kicked her out when she was 15 because of a new man in her life. She drinks to the point where she doesnt know who I am. Her sister is a schizophrenic and in the last year she has been out with her twice. The first time she got arrested because her sister was f fighting and the secind time her sister battered her. She is on the AD's because of her bad marriage and other things and has been on the sick for the twoo years I have been with her. She works in a seedy environment as and when she wants, which isnt often and stays in bed until lunch time. Yes she has major issues, but underneath all that she is an absolute angel and I love her so much. I think I was the most stable person in her life so why am I not good enough? Why has she left me????/ I am so confused, I was her everything and now I am gone. She said before we split that I was her best friend and she would always be in my life. So why hasnt she contacted me to see how her best friend is doing? She always assumed I was going to leave her and begged me not too, she just wanted so much love that I couldnt give. Even her mum said the same thing to me. She regrets kicking her out over a man and she does love her but she cant love her the way she wants she just wants toooo much. Any help please? I feel like such a loser. i though things got better after a while but I am getting worse. Its been three weeks now. Should I write to her and tell her how much she means to me? If she thought I was never there or didnt care isnt NC confirming this? Simon

She does somethiing for a living, which in my eyes isnt really a job. She gets paid cash in hand and doesnt know from one day to the next if she is going to earn anything. There is no security in it whatsoever and certainly no future. Like I said she has issues but I cant help that I love her now. Thats whats so bad about it all. Thanks anyhow Simon

Thanks for the advice. The problem is she doesnt want a job. She is happy doing what she is doing in the location she is living. thereforeeee as she doesnt drive moving her in would have been a problem as she would have no job and no money. I really am at a loss as to what to do. So please give me some advice. Is it wise to contact her or just try and let it go? Bearing in mind I do genuinely love this woman. Simon

My ex and I met through a mutual friend almost 2 yrs ago. I had had a brief fling with friend. My ex had just left her husband because he was a pushover and loved her too much and I had recently been dumped for not committing to my last girl. My new gf was wonderful, she knew of my pain and the reasons I was dumped and she helped me through. She had issues, she was kicked out of home when she was 15 because her mums new partner didn't want her around. Her sis is schizophrenic and beat her up recently. Her friend is nasty to her, even trying to get her jealous over me. She is on anti depressants. She works in the adult industry but not in a sexual way and comes and goes when she pleases. She is lazy and stays in bed until the afternoon. When she drinks she doesn't know when to stop. The few times we did go out she got so drunk she either did not know who I was or we ended up fighting. She has had nowhere to live for the last two years and has been staying with friends until she gets a settlement from her divorce. Despite all of this I love her .She loved me so much and wanted commitment and although I wanted it too I was scared of being hurt again. She is 30 in 2 weeks and I planned give her a ring. She has been slowly getting more frustrated with me for not moving our relationship forward and since xmas I have not been seeing her in the week. I work a long way form where I live and she lives a long way in the opposite direction. It is tiring for me to drive to and from work and then over to her, get home late get up early. But she sees that as me being selfish. We were together all wknd. Recently we have been falling out quite a lot, because she hasn't felt loved. I am not a very tactile person and find it hard to convey my feelings. I thought she understood, perhaps that is taking her for granted? She wants to be smothered like she smothered me. She has always said I am the one but now she says she has no fight left in her and I have worn her down. She loves me but isn't in love with me and that the fire has gone from her belly. She never really believed I loved her. She says I have destroyed her self-esteem but she has always been down on herself. I always tried to encourage her to better herself but I guess I should have just told her how wonderful she was? I know I could have been more tactful with things I said. Most advice says No Contact is the best option. I don't want to make the same mistake as with my last ex and push her away further but I think maybe I should send a letter letting her know just how much she means to me. If she thought I was never there for her isn't NC confirming that? I sent her a text and she replied, calling me honey, said she is fine, just getting over things. So I don't know how to play it now if she is getting over things. She says she has no faith in me. I want to fight for her. She says I am her best friend and she wants us to stay friends but she is making no effort to see how her best friend is doing. This is the third week and our last talk was 8 days ago and last contact was a text 3 days ago. Thank you for listening