discordant_verse

tiger_lilies, Oh, I am agreement with you, without a doubt. But we could use less condemnation. There's enough already. Regards DV

Tiger_lilies, Human beings are inately selfish sure. Is it not our right to find happiness in some measure we deem fit for ourselves? Is sex the only driving force? To this I simply ask; is sex the only mitigating factor? It might as well be a woman who really loves her husband and has a good family having her love and happines ruined because of her incredible disdain/disgust for the "sex act". Sexual needs are exactly that. Yonik's priorities are as straight as his wife's - there are no excuses for both of them. Middle ground must be found else the bridge be burnt. Read his words again. Rgds DV

Yonik, It has to be said that everyone who makes comment or shares opinion in regards to your plight does not know exactly the circumstances of your situation - speaking for myself. I have only 2 concerns. The first being the reasons she has gone so cold towards you and your choices in this regards. The second is your children. I am very curious about your marriage. I assume that the marriage started well and that you two were happy once - with the great sex and everything. From that assumption, that she so chooses to treat you so badly now is as dismaying as it is curious. I will make lots of conjecture here. 1) She has a personal problem that she cannot solve and it frustrates her so immensely that she's taking it all out on you. 2) She has fallen out of love with you. 3) You are not letting on significant details about yourself in regards to your marriage. 4) My assumption is wrong and you married a frigid ultra-conservative biatch who thinks that love making/sex is a thing to be endured rather than enjoyed. Whatever it is, its between you and your wife to sort out. I hope you will choose to do so instead of turning to another. To be rejected the way you have been, I can only imagine the pain. It is understandable that you have turned to another woman, but its not excusable. This brings me to my second concern. You say that divorce would devastate your children. Tell me, when your children find out about your affair, how would they feel? What sort of message are you giving to them? If you had an open affair which your wife and your children accepted, then it is no problem. But to have an illicit one, is it alright? I'm going to drop some thoughts just as an aside. You say that you are developing feelings for your new partner. The feeling of being found deliciously attractive or desirable makes you feel remarkable and your ego is pumped. Be careful not to confuse sex and love. Your new partner might want you but do realise who you are - a married man cheating on his wife. She knows that you are tied up and very probably is enjoying every minute of the joy BUT she does not have to bear the burdens of a real relationship. Keep that in mind always. You cannot commit, and she hasnt either. As with all relationship problems, you should talk it out first with your partner. She ought to know you feel rejected, frustrated and unloved. If she cares, she'll do something about it. If she doesnt, I dont suggest you continue a self-destructive relationship. Children are forgiving so long as they are treated as adults and given a say. At least an understanding be made. Regards DV

When doing situps, crunch one side of your body - when coming up, move so that your body turns with your right elbow touching your left knee. Flex then alternate with the other side. Alternatively, turn so that you are facing one side perpendicular to the floor and situp. Do a few reps then flip sides. DV

Ves, As I read it, you dont have a problem with the issue of liking someone or trusting someone before trying to touch them. Your problem is fear. If you are afraid, overcome it. Touch is one of the most effective and intimate forms of communication. Nobody lets anybody touch them without some form of trust. Very obvious. Try the simplest forms of touching; hold hands. Just get comfortable holding hands. And very importantly, do it purposefully. After getting his hand into yours, just get comfortable doing that or even swinging hands together and other silly things. After that, hold his arm, his waist or shoulders, learn to message his neck or play with his hair. If he has hair on his arms, pet it. Think about it as a bit of fun. Once you get to it, its all good. Regards DV

I have enjoyed giving oral. But I must note, i have not enjoyed the taste of all the girls I have gone down on. There are two reasons; yeast and cleanliness. Some girls, due to hormones, chemical imbalances or whatever, tend to be VERY yeasty. Dont mind me, but the yeasty flavour is something I havent acquired. Cleanliness needs no explanation.

The funny thing about self-esteem. Once you start doing something positive about it, you just feel better about it. And there is nothing more positive than something productive to put some goals in your life. DV

Is it intimate? Yes. Because you're spending "quality" time, just the two of you. She's comfortable with you enough to let you come to her place but it is not a sign that she's thinking of anything further than having a good time making a meal with someone and sharing it. Remember, you are in a different country, the cultures gonna be different. Perhaps where you are now, they are more open and accepting so this sort of thing is a little more ordinary. Consider it a friendly gesture for a start and dont have crazy expectations. Play by ear. DV

Hey! I think you're cute. But I'm a guy so you might not be getting the right opinion, lol. I think you are too self-conscious of the biggest overt physical attribute you have. Your nose isnt that bad at all, its very distinctive. It doesnt make you ugly. If anything, it makes you stand out. I would not suggest a nose job, I'd suggest a perception change. If someone teases you about your nose, roll with it and make fun of yourself about it. If a gal talks about your nose and you feel uncomfortable, tell her about the eskimo greeting: You get right up to her and rub her nose with yours. Bound to make an impression - a positive one. Or you could talk like Elmo. Girls just love Elmo. I remember this Steve Martin show called Roxanne. THAT is the attitude you're looking for.

You better get away from this guy. He's got all the signs of the classic woman abuser. He'll abuse you and make you feel like crap so that he can keep you under his power - to assuage his own sense of importance and esteem. If you allow him to do this, you will join the ranks of abused women the world over. I advise you to get other friends. I dont see why you only have this guy as a friend. If he gives you crap, you walk away and avoid/ignore him. He's using the fact that you're new to the town to dominate you. And you must not be weak with him. DONT EVER SHOW THIS CRETIN WEAKNESS. Get away. This guy might turn violent if you give him lip. If he does, you go straight to the authorities. DV

Well that's a first. Corvidae, How do you train for "functional strength"? Long distrance endurance interferes in a few ways but the most significant is energy consumption. Carbohydrates are burnt up first, followed by second tier energy sources such as stored fats and protein. The longer you run, the more energy you burn. Once stand-by energy reserves are burnt up, the body then begins on the fats and proteins - a state called kerotosis. Its basically a state where your body scavenges for energy, converting second teir energy sources. Because you have less protein to go around, you dont build muscle mass as efficiently. DV

The most important thing to me in any relationship is trust. I am not very forgiving about betrayal, its very hard for me to get over such a thing. Kate, I feel bad for you. /me gives you virtual hugs I suggest you take some time away from this dude for a bit. Listen to yourself and your child. Once you've pulled yourself together enough, you gotta decide on what to do next. Lots of good advise has been given out by people here. I'm not even sure whether I want that guy to be my childs father but its only fair to give him that chance. Regards DV

annie24 and Raykay are right as far as I know. You lose weight overnight for two reasons 1. due to your body's energy consumption overnight - know that for the hours that you are sleeping, you're basically fasting (as its unlikely that you would eat immediately before going to sleep) 2. due to water evaporation - perspiration, while sleeping. Those who have very high metabolisms see a more drastic weight change between going to sleep and waking in the morning. Also note that whatever you eat at any time adds to your weight for a period of time while your body breaks it down and you later pass it out. I've been told by my gym going friends that one ought to eat 6 small meals a day as this keeps the metabolism at a regular rate. This is particularly useful for those who wish to gain weight. Regards DV

link removed go read it up. Then do a simple search through google or your favourite health and medicine site for more information. Regards DV

Honestly, I have little patience with people who dont know what they want for themselves and allow others to walk them around. Particularly if its a gal I am interested in. Since she is so wishy washy about the whole thing, I'd suggest you let her be and walk away. Saves you the heartache - though it begets another kind of heartache. Just tell her that since she doesnt think it'll work out, just be friends, she can find you anytime but you decide whether to give her the time of day. Change your expectations accordingly and just treat her as a friend or just walk away. If she wants you enough, she'll come around looking for you. Otherwise, she just didnt. DV