GaveTooMuch
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Well this past weekend I wasn't having the very best day. First Some guy scrapes the side of my car trying to back out of a parking lot then it's raining like crazy. So I decide to go out with my buddies to a club and hangout and have soem drinks. First thing I went in and everything seems fine. I run in a couple of friends and one of the girls wanted to to introduce me to a friend of her's. She says I want to introduce you to someone, she looks exactly like your ex. I was like what??? are you serious... why would I want to do that? Anyways she brings her over and we meet and no... to me she's looks nothing like my ex. Anyways while I was talking to the girl... my buddiy behind me says to me forget about her forgot about your ex... not in those exact words but it won't let me type what he actually said. I was like huh?? what are you talking about this isn't my ex this is so and so... he was like no idiot I know what your ex looks like, she just walked pass behind you. My heart just dropped, I was kinda in shock... I was like no way... not today! I tried to watch out and avoid her and saw her maybe twice that night. She was acting like she didn't even see me or even knew me. It was crazy, once as i was walking down the stairs, she was walking up and we just kept moving like strangers. I was so sadden that after 3 years together that the first time we run into one another she couldn't even acknowledge me or even a smile or a wave or anything. After that I kept hearing about her from random people. How they see her out and about with other guys. The thing that got me is that her friend told me that she said " I don't think it's really gonna hit me that I've lost him, until I find out he's seeing soemone else" The thing is her friend told her I've been seeing other people and she got upset. She was saying how she had me first and etc. But her friend told her that she had no right to be upset since she's the one whom left me. Another weird thing is after our last argument she blocked me on instant messaging. After the day she saw me at he club and she had that little talk with ehr friend... all of a sudden I'm no longer blocked on AIM. We haven't contacted each other in anyway, but seeing her name on the list kinda bugs me. I always wanted for us to remain friends or at least be civil with one another. The past couple of days, I've been feeling a little depressed and been thinking about her a lot lately. I feel myself missing her and thinking about how she is and what she's doing. Even going out with other girls like I've done before to forget her doesn't work anymore. Everytime I hold or even look at someone else... I hope to see her face smiling back at me, but it never is and it feels like it's crackng my heart piece by piece..like before.
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Found out somethings, I didn't want to know
GaveTooMuch replied to GaveTooMuch's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
here's some advice a good friend gave me about the whole thing. To me it makes a lot of sense as he does really know how I turly am. I tried to make things right.... not for her... but for me... to be true to myself and know I didn't compomise myself and let all this turn me into someone I'm not. It's too late for that, I already tried. Maybe it can be a lesson for the next person: Yo......I think by giving her the line you'll gain more in the end. Don't factor in anger about her dumping you or seeing some other dude........that's already water under the bridge. We've all been dumped for one reason or another and most of the time it's because of a third party......some other mofo tapping our sh!t. But that's life. What you shared with her was tight. Don't smear it. Give her the line. If you punk her......all you doing is looking like a sore loser. Trust me.....you'll gain more in the end. Don't burn no bridges. You sound like (name witheld).......I WANT THE TRUTH.....THE TRUTH, THE TRUTH.....RESPECT..........that's all bullsh!t. No girl will have the courage to tell the boyfriend that they've cared for and loved all these years that they are bored of him and seeing some other dude. Like I said.....sh!t happens......lucky she didn't keep lying to you.....milking you further.....while tapping the other dude. She respected you and she let you go. If you really look at it with clear view......whithout anger, whithout contempt......then you'll see that she's actually protecting you, looking out for you. She doesn't want to hurt you any further. Give her the line and be done with it. Make it right. Yo........Don't look back in anger......... *btw.... he doesn't really talk like a rapper like that... no idea why he types like that though haha... great guy. -
Found out somethings, I didn't want to know
GaveTooMuch replied to GaveTooMuch's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
No my phone business is already squared away, it's just hers. She really depends on that phone and who knows who she has contacting her on that phone. I just feel bad because there might be some impotant contacts that have that number and now cannot get a hold of her. It's it just all another lie to get her number back? Is it even worth it, should I just give her what she wants so we can both just go our separate ways? Am I just making a bigger deal out of all this than it really is? -
Found out somethings, I didn't want to know
GaveTooMuch replied to GaveTooMuch's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
thanks everyone for your replies. Well I did it, I cut off her phone line. The way i did it was i told her she could keep her line if she paid the bill and she did. I would hand the account over to her so she could keep her number. I thought about it and why am I still being the nice guy. She is still repeatedly lying to my face so to speak. Why should I show her any kind of consideration or respect when she is still showing me none at all? So I said screw it and just cut off her line completely so now she has to go make her own account. Her number has been suspended for 90 so she can't even have that. Plus her credit was messed up years ago so she's going to have to make a deposit, that why we had the shared plan in the first place. The thing is now when she got a hold of me last night. She was going off as usual but it didn't affect me one bit since she was no longer any of my concern. The one thing she did accomplish was to make me feel guilty for a brief moment. She told me she needed that phone line because it is the primary contact number for the hosiptal to get a hold of her. Also that the number her clients have to get a hold of her any of her other job offers. This makes me feel bad because I do not want to stand in the way of her career or her health. The thing I figured out is this; why is it so hard to contact these important people and just tell them she has a new phone and give them her new number? I don't think it really is... I think that it's just a big hassle. The same hassles that I have to deal with because I too no longer have my old number and have the hassle of redistributing them also. Am I wrong? Should I just give her back her line and get this whole thing over with, or should I teach her a little lesson about respect and give her a little taste of her own medicine? -
I've posted here before about how I was with my ex girlfrien dfor 3 years and how i did everything for her and then all of a sudden she decided we shouldn't be together anymore. First it was because she was getting her career and life together but we still hung out and then a month later she all of a sudden wanted to stop that too. I don't know how the find it but it was titled " 3 years of giving everything, forgotten in one month. " if anyone is interested in knowing the whole story. Well today I received of phone bill since she is on my account. She been running up the bill like crazy. I decided to check what was going on and I found one number that keeps showing up over and over again. Last month before she decided to not see me anymore, she was sick that week and we had no contact because she said she was too sick to speak. Well that week I saw a number which she was talking to for over an hour, a number i've never seen before. How odd is that she couldn't speak but she could talk for that person for over an hour then at the end of that week she wanted no contact. Then later I found out she had a date 4 days after that last day but it didn't work out supposedly and just confirmed her feelings that she didn't want to be in any relationship? This month that number keeps showing up like clock work everyday after class, late at night, and early in the morning.. when she gets off school..when she goes to bed.. and when she gets home from going out. The same exact routine that she used to have with me. Against my best judgement I called that number and got a voicemail from Ben. Ben is her classmate from school, the place where she spends the most time out of the day.... how convenient. She was always saying how she would never get with any of those guys and school since they were all dogs. She went on a trip for school the past weekend and he was always the pictures even next to her. I feel so stupid that I never figured this out. From the phone bill it evens shows that she calls him everytime before she calls me, even on the night she took me out for my birthday. I am so terribly hurt. Why did I honestly think that we could still be friends? Why did I not believe people when they told me " don't believe any of her excuses, it's always because of another guy"? I feel so betrayed and used. I would honestly been fine if she told me the truth as I would at least know the real reason and not be lied to. I can't believe that the person I gave so much too and loved with all my heart could do this to me. Not only did she cheat on me by lying to me for the past 3 years that she loved me and that we'd always be together. She also lied about why we broke up, how she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone.... and now it seems that she always had this guy in the works since the beginning of the break up... cheated on for another guy. Even though we weren't together when she got with him, I still feel cheated on because he was always in the works, he was always an option and probably a big part in her decision to break up , and a major factor in how she has forgotten so much, so fast. I am so terribly hurt and disappointed. I don't know what to do. I confronted her via text and she was telling me it's not what it seems, absolutely nothing is going on, and I'm going to regret throwing away our friendship..... What am I to do, I can't keep believeing her lies......
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My ex is now dating my ex
GaveTooMuch replied to babyface's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
maybe I'm focusing on the wrong point but I know what it's like to be dumped or taken a break from becaus eyour partner feels like you're not contributing enough financially. It really hurts and suckthat everything else is great but then you let money get in the way. Why not stand by each other and help one another to achieve more instead of just leaving or calling a break. I know that money isn't everything, but it does make things easier. The point is it really hurts when you give so much to someone and given them everything else and it seems like money is the only thing that matters to thenm and everyhting else you did was worth nothing... who knows maybe I'm just venting about my own experiences. Just something to think about. Maybe she feels like she found someone who likes her for her and not what she can give them. If she's happier there then let her be.. you should find what makes you happy. -
I think you're right. I've come to the conclusion that the only things holding me back from moving on is the fact that I cannot accept the fact that it's over. That's reason why I relapse every so often is because I feel guilty for letting go. I'm starting to come to the point where I can accept this. This is not the first time I've had my heart broken.. but I sure hope that it's the last time lol. Everytime I've met someone I've fallen in love with, it's never been expected. I'm not going to try to rush into anything. I'm just trying to focus on self growth and being comfortable and confident in my own skin. I don't know what to think anymore. I've been thinking about just about every single angle of all this ever since that day. I sometimes feel like maybe love isn't meant for some people. I'm just trying to be happy with myself.... I just don't want to think about any of this anymore. I'm just so tired, I've hurt so much that the pain has just numbed. I'm just trying to move on and not expect anything, and not looking back too much... I don't want to hold on to any hate in my heart. It's just the way things are.... and I have to accept it.
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Wow that sounds great. I'm slowly reaching the two month mark with the break up with my ex. I'm slowly getting to point where I have accepted the whole thing. I'm was kinda worried about getting into another relationship also because I was thinking about it being a rebound and that it wouldn't be fair to the other person. I'm sure it would be much easier and a lot faster to forget about the ex if you had someone else there. The thing is I definitely do not want to use or hurt the other person since I know first hand how much it hurts. It's wonderful that you're taking things slow and that you've always been up front with the guy. I'm glad to hear that things are going so good for you. Guess it true even though in the beginning it's so hard to believe, that in the end you were better off. You enjoy and remember any lessons you learned from prior relationships. Good for you!!
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She just broke up with me again. (an update)
GaveTooMuch replied to pagemaster's topic in Breaking Up Advice
I think you and I are in pretty similar situations. My G/F of three years left me in the end of last December, things were really final until the end of last Janurary. I am also 5 years older than her. We never really had any serious problems in our relationship. We were like best friends and also lovers. We used to see and talk to each other for hours everyday. The just recently she's starting to get her career together. Made some new friends in the same field and interests. Going out all the time. She told me that she doesn't know if she wants to be in a serious relationship right now and our relationship is only headed in one direction... and that is marriage... something she is not ready for. I still love her dearly and am always making excuses for her. It is so hard for me to hate her or be mad at anything she does even though she has changed so much in so little time. The fact is, she left for some reason, even if she can't explain it or does not want to... there is a reason. I know she does not want to hurt me. It's just things change. For example, she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship at all with anybody. only a week after our final goodbye, she was on a date with another guy. her excuse was it was to make sure that not why she left. She went on that date and she was absolutely sure she does not want to date right now. yet she says don't always expect her to be single and she doesn't expect me to be single also. Before she would have a heart attack if I even spoke to another female,.. now she want me to date. My birthday is this sunday, she said the last time we spoke in Jan. that we would go to dinner for my birthday during the week since she'll be out of town my birthday weekend...... it's already thursday...I know she has plans to go out with her friends tomorrow.... things change. Save yourself some of the pain that still stalks me. Learn to let go and not expect to much. She will never be the same as she was when she was with you. I'm not telling you to hate her, but just be thankful for the times you shared together. If you truly love her and want to see her happy.... let her do what she needs to do.. let her go. -
whats wrong with me?
GaveTooMuch replied to Phoenix Down's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I know exactly what you're talking about although it's only been one month for me. We were together for 3 years and didn't ever really had any problems. I try to think about anything and everything negative to just make myself hate her so I can move on, but it doesn't work. I've really pushed myself to think of the future and be positive, but everytime I start to move on.... the slightest thought of her just knocks me down so quickly. All the time that it takes me to move on is suddenly taken away, just like what she did to me. It just makes me so upset with myself that I can't get her out of my mind. I know I'm pretty much better off without her but it so hard to erase the memories. I think it's that everytime I start to move on, something inside of me starts to feel guilty for giving up on the relationship, and sparks that fire right back up. Viscious cycle. I was hoping that it would go away real soon. I know she does not have the same problems I do, and it makes me feel even worse that I do. She has left me and I still am handing all the power and my heart to her. If any of you figure out how to get rid of this, please let me know too... -
I think it all depends on the person. Me and my recently ex-G/F are 5 years apart. I was 24 and she was 19 when we first met. It was towards the end of the year so when we actually got together I was 25 and she was 20. Anyways everything was always good. We were together for 3 years last december 21. She has left me last dec. 13, almost 3 years. She's starting her new career and made some new friends. All of a sudden she doesn't want to or is not ready for such a committed relationship as ours. I think part of it is because of our age gap. She's at the stage where everything is coming together for her, she starting to get into who she is and wanting to live life for what it has to offer. While I have already done all that and slowing down to the point where I want to settle down. Even though I never mentioned anything about marriage, she knew that it was evident. I think it scared her since everything is just starting to come together for her. When you're 28 and your G/F is 23 then the % years start to become a very big gap, since you're both in different stages of your life. Then again not everyone is the same. I wished she could have stayed and we could work things out since I am willing to give her the space she needed as long as she proved how much she always said she loved me. In the end I think our age has just caught up with us and we're both at different stages of our lives.
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Thanks lifestooshort, I don't have to imagine, I know exactly how it feels to have all that taken away just like nothing. It's just so trange because every now and then, right when I start to think I've finally gotten over her and am doing better..... I suddenly am struck with guilt and desperately missing her. I think somehow when I start to move on, unconsciously I start to feel bad for letting her go and giving up. It just sucks so bad because I know the only way I can get her to even miss me or know what it's like to be alone is if I leave her alone. I know that's what I need to do to also heal , but it's so difficult. I know that I am giving up all the power to her and she's probably just loving it but I can't keep to myself no matter how hard I try. Even when I'm out with friends doing other things, I think about her. Everything I do, reminds me of her.. we used to do everything together. Last night after I spoke to her... I know, I know.... I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. We decided to be friends but I only call every other week or so, and I don't try to push her to come back anymore. Anyways last night I had a weird dream. In my dream for some reason like an illness or something my legs had to be amputated... then later on I found out my arms were also to be amputated, I was so upset I told the doctors to just kill me. Whe I woke up I was really disturbed and was scared, what was it all about. I looked up the meaning of dreams on google, and was surprised to find that amputation dreams mean that I am feeling out of control. I am getting depressed about losing control, and the amputation of limbs is a symbol of cutting away my control trying gain back that control. The thing that got me was in the dream after all my limbs were supposed to be cut off, I no longer if wanted to live. Even in my dreams I know that I am not doing what's best for me. I know I am really mad at myself for not being able to get over her and even leave her alone and making her think I'm just some chump groveling at her feet, waiting here for her when ever she wants me. It's just so hard, I wish I had a friend I could just complain to all the time. All my friends have other things to do, and they're all guys... suys don't want to her all this relationship stuff. My ex was the only one who I would always share my feelingwith. Now it's so hard since I have to hold it in, I'm even too ashamed to tell others how I am feeling or even acting.
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he comes to quickly....what can i do??? plz help
GaveTooMuch replied to Snow_bunny's topic in Sex and Romance
lol there's no spot on the balls where you can press to stop ejaculation sorry. He just needs to learn how to control himself and his excitement. You two are still young so it might take awile. He can either squeeze one out before you guys go at it like someone else said or the stop and go method. One thing I known to work for many people is when the girl is on top grinding, it still feels great and the girls usually cums really quickly since she's the one controling everything and hitting all her own spots, but the friction is less than the ol' rapid in and out that the guy can refrain from cumming so fast. So it works out for both partners. try that out. -
You need to take control of yourself and the situation. You pretended to pass out but still let him go throught with it? I sure you know that was wrong. If you didn't want him to go through with it you should do whatever it takes to get him to stop. It's better to be a tease than consider yourself as promiscuos. Just make it clear that you know you messed up and will not syand for it anymore. There's not much you can do now, what's done and said has already happened. You need to go on with your life and learn from this and be more careful. Is there a real reason why you have to see the team all the time? If not then just cut all contact with them as a whole because now everyone is going try to get a piece of you since they think you're easy prey.
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I know I just keep talking to myself here posting over and over again but I am just trying to stick to NC so I can get over things. I am so disappointed that our relationship has come down to money. I have always given her everything I had. She never even seemed like it was ever important to her or expect it. Sure we talked about how if we ever struck it rich like win the lotto or something, al the thing sthat we'd get for each other. I'm not trying to sound like i want anyting from her because she doesn't even have anything, but it hurts that the second she thinks she might eb gettin ginto something, she afraid that she'll have to share it with me. That is so insulting I want nothing to do with her financially and never have. Even if it was the way around I would still give everything to her. I guess I should be glad that I'm seeing the true selfish her now and not years later. Maube i spoiled her from the beginning now she's always looking for bigger and better things. In the beginning she was very simple, I was kind of the one who always had to always have the nicest things but I'm over that now and know what's really valuable. Why can't I just stop analyzing and thinking about all this still? Bottom line is she doesn't want to be with me, why is it so hard for me to accept it and move on? I feel so pitiful and pathetic
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The more I talk to her the more I see the person whom I fell in love with has died. She is nothing like how she was before. I see the true reason that she left is because she thinks that she is going to real big with being a stylist. She's doing very well and making a lot of connections. She plans on moving to los angeles mingling with the stars. Now she is just to good for me. Even the guy she went on a date with last weekend even though she said she wasn't interested, I think she end up with him, since he's more successful than I am. She used to be so sweet and humble but now her greed has got the best of her. She doesn't have anything right now, no money, having to borrow money all the time, and will be in debt with student loans. Now that she sees the promise of big money and guys with money persuing her, she just thinks she's too good for me. What a "B", after all I done for her, I pushed to to be there and supported her. Now she is too good for me? Maybe I'm not the richest guy in the world and probably will never be but I have always showed her all the love, respect, and support in the world. I don't even think I want to remain friends with this egotisical and selfish little girl. Maybe later when I over her and if she becomes someone like she thinks she will, I can keep in touch to meet some stars lol. But now I really need to find the strength to get out of this. There is definitely nothng here for mo. I need to get her out of my mind. I need to find someone who can love me for me and not what I can give them. Seems like things get worse everyday... when will it ever end?
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I so feel for you. I think I am in the oppsite of this dilema. I am 5 years older than my girlfriend. When we met I was 25 and she was 20. She always seemed more mature for her age. I was always there for her through everything even through her illness. Just when everything has begunto get good with her health and our elationship going great. She drops the bomb on me about how she too young and doesn't want to be in a serious and committed relationship. She doesn't know what she wants anymore and wants to be free and independent. Then tonight after we have had no contact for a week I called her. I found out that she has been on a date with another guy. I am shocked and crushed, even though she said it just further proved her feelings about not wanting to be with anyone. If she broke up with me because of this already why did she need to prove it to herself even more? I too feel like I have wasted so much time as I am turning 28 next week and feel like I running out of time. She on the other hand is only now 23 and has many years left ahead of her to find what she needs. It totally sucks because I know what I want and what I need and I thought that was her. I know that I need to let her go. I too am begging and trying to find the strength to move on and find happiness else where. I know that this isn't really words of encouragement but maybe we can help each other through all this.
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I spoke to her tonight and it's been a week of NC. To my surprise she admitted to going out on what she called sortta a date with another guy. She said it was really a date since ther were 3 other people there and the guy was obviously interested in her but she wasn't into it. She said that it just made up her that it was not what she wanted right now because she is not ready. In fact that the reason why we broke up in the first place, because she does not want to be in a relationship right now in her life while she is trying to find out what she wants in life. I know I sound niave and setting myself up for even more pain, but for some reason I believe her. At first I was shocked and didn't know what to say. After the initial shock I started to see what the relationship has came to. In my mind there is definitely no chance of reconciliation. I just want to get to the point where we can still be friends and just want one another to be happy no matter what the other one is doing. I trying to figure out what is really going on in our relationship and let it die or turn into a friendship. I have known her for so long and we understand one another so much that I would like to think that we have gone beyond just being lovers. I still love but not the same way I have in the past. I really need to understand what happened so I can move on with the rest of my life. Everyday I am thinkiing of what happened and what went wrong. I need to understand this for my own closure.
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Thanks for replying Chai. I was doing better for awhile because I was trying to make myself think that I'm better off with out her and I should hate her because she just left me. She could not possibly love me if she can hurt me like this and go out and have a good time and not even think twice about it. Now I'm having a bad relapse thinking that I have given up on her and our relationship. I feel like those three years were just wasted. Then I start hating myself for even wanting to get back with her after what she's done. Why do I even wish to get back with her a waste even more time or even risk being hurt by her again? I don't know where this all came from. There's a bunch of crazy thoughts running through my mind all at once and they all contradict one another. I just don't know what to do.........
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I thought I've been doing better and I don't need her anymore, but every single day, right when I wake up in the morning, she is always on y mind. I hate it, why am I so stuck on her? I know she's out there just having the time of her life and here I am just torturing myself over her. Even when I'm out there trying to keep busy and hangingout with my friends she always somewhere in the back of my mind. She broke my heart so why is it so hard for me to hate her so I can get her out of my head? She controlled me when we were together and still does even when we're apart. I am just going nuts, need to move on!
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I think you should let him go. You two are way too young to get into such a serious relationship. You two have a lot of growing to do and many experiences that you need to learn from before you can take a relationship seriously. He is who he is and you can't keep trying to change him. You've already put in two years and repeatedly been wasting your time to make things work but they keep going back to what they are. Know that you tried and gave it your all but in the end he was not ready for it. Don't let him walk all over you and know that no matter what you'll always be the easy fall back plan. Take some time out for yourself or if you decide to, give the other guy a chance if you think he's worth it. Experience life and and don't be so worried about being with someone else right now. Get to know what important to you and what to look out for in relationships.
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Will he get over......
GaveTooMuch replied to sassysarah's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I would be very careul if I were you. You sound to be falling pretty fast for this guy who has just recently broken up with his wife. You might be settign yourself up for a very big disappointment as you have already said yourself that you would travel to the ends of earth and back for this man. Are you really sure that he would do the same for you? From what you said he has not yet healed from his break up. I'm sure you can't deny that as you already feel like you're getting blamed for what his wife did. Honestly I think you should take a step back and let him deal with his issues and heal himself before you two just into another serious relationship. He could possibly just be on the rebound and your just there to help pass the time and supress the pain. Basically I think you should be careful. -
I know exactly how you feel. Me and my ex-girlfriend of 3 years have just recently broken up and have been in NC for a week. It is extremely hard since we used to be so close, talking everyday for hours and we always knew everthing about each other. It's very strange to talking to one another everyday for 3 years to totally no contact what so ever. I think it has helped me get over her though since I have been able to really take a look back and analyze everthing. I did nothing wrong and she still left me, I'm better off without her. NC is is not easy at all.... but it does give you time to see things for what they really are, and helps you heal and accept that things are really over now.
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Thanks Pete! Did you see that link I pput up a couple of posts up? The one about the woman who was married and everything was good, but over the years somehow just fell out of love? In soneways I'm glad that she said something and just didn't supress her her feelings just for the relationship. What if we just kept going for more years and got married. Her disinterest would still be there. It would be so much worse because we would have wasted so much more time, she would have been secretly unhappy, I'd be living a lie, and what if she cheated and disrespected our marriage. No matter what the reasons are, I am trying to be at peace with myself. I know what she has given up. In the beginning I was worried that she would never realize that. Now I don't even care if she does or doesn't. I know what I've done and myself worth. I think she needs to live her life, make her mistakes, get her heart broken a couple of times and find herself before she knows what she wants and what's important. I think that we were soul mates but just met at the wrong time. Then another part of me thinks maybe it was the right time and we were both put together at this time to teach another things in life. I'm not what those lessons are right now, but I consider myself a student of life; I try to look at everything as a learning experience. I also don't believe that there is only one person in the world for everybody. There will be others, I'lll move on and so will she. All this has just shown how incompatible we really are, so I must let go.
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almost a year and the some of the pain and sadness is still there... that is a very long time to live with that kind of burden. I don't think that she has as much of a hard time about the whole thing as I do, so it kills me that I do. Why am I still wasting my time and energy still caring for her and trying to make excuses for what she has done? Usually finding someone else gets rid of those feelings real fast and you start to feel better about yourself because someone else thinks you're great and your valuable. I just am not sure that I want to use someone else on the rebound like that just to make myself feel better. I know how bad it sucks to be hurt and do not want to do it to anyone else for something as this. There's got to be another way. Besides I really have no choice for the NC since she is the one whom initiated the whole thing just after 3 weeks of us saying that it was just a trial seperation and we'd still be friends, but she needs time to think.... to BAMM!!! It's not working for me anymore I don't think we should see or talk to one another anymore.....buuuuuuuuuuuut I have never said this to any of my other exes, but I want us to always remain apart of one anothers life and call me if you really have any problems or need to talk to someone. Those two sentences totally contradict each other. She has not called or tried any contact, I found out she has changed all her instant message screen names, and is living it up all her friends.. so I just try to do my thing and not give her the satisfaction of knowing how much I'm hurting and how much this has affected me as a whole.