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Thanks, I am just standing behind some principles that I believe in. True, I did get a little closer to her near the end I guess but I would not be returning to much of a real relationship. Yes it did affect me, I should of been a little more responsbile. I am a little closer to 30 and she is in her yound 20's.. But yes, I realized that I could of been more demanding about using a condom. She was on the pill but then stopped and I did know that. I think it affects me a lot because I realize that I came out of this whole mess with nothing bad happened to me. She bored all the physical pain, and for that I really feel bad for her. Yes I was there for her when all this happened, I dropped everthing to be with her at the abortion clinic first and then at the hospital when it was discovered that she had a ectopic pregnancy. As for her being with ex while she was me, she probably was, she seems to be a very untrusting girl. I do care about her, and I do really wish the best for her. I also do wish she does well with her choices. I just don't want to get involved with her in that way or come between stuff. She did say that one thing she like about me and her was that it was casual and not so serious. I really do guess there is no such thing as "no strings sex"

Here goes, will keep it short and simple. I was seeing this girl for about 1 year. It was a pure sexual relationship, a really good one. All about sex, no real relationship there. I got her pregnant in the summer, she had an ectopic pregnancy and had part of her tubes removed. Very terrible, happened around August. In October, we both agreed to stop seeing each as we simply grew apart. Recently she texted me about getting together a doing something. I said ok, in her words, "Lets get together and see what happens..." "I really do want to see you and see what happens..." I then found out that she had been hanging out with her ex from before me. She told me that they were close and did have sex. He helps her feel less alone. I respond with "I do not want to see you if you are seeing someone, don't want to get in the way" She then responds with, "I just want fun right now nothing serious and I won't be getting in the way and there is nothing going on" I stood firm and said "forget about seeing me" She had taken that as jelousy (as a friend told me) and has been telling a friend of mine who knows us both. Frankly, I would see her and do something if she was not seeing someone or seeing an ex. I am trying to move on from what happened (pregnancy) but I don't like to sleep around, this ex boyfriend guy has was always obsessed with her and I don't like getting involved or in the way of someones stuff. Did I do the right thing? And how is this jelousy? I really don't understand. Also, I am not one for just being friends after it is over. .

I have to say that it is not like she cancelled on coffee. I said I would be in her area the next morning via email (my vehicle dealer is close to her house) and if you want I can meet you while I wait. There was not much of a chance she would be able to meet me as I sent it late the night before. couple other things. I was her first real boyfriend Knew her for 2 1/2 years before getting toghether Always predicted certain events as calling near anniversary, email etc, leaving me because she needs to see what else is out there etc. . I have always maintained the position that she will try to screw things up when I am moving on. She asked about my girlfriend, I told her I got her pregnant by accident this summer, I have a new job etc. I have moved on. I hope I am not right again.

I am not sure where to put so I figured this was the appropriate thread. My ex called after 1 and 1/2 years. I dated her for 2 1/2 years and really liked her. I really did. Well, she sent me a email a few weeks ago saying that "she was thinking of me and wanted to know how I was doing, you want to go for coffee?" I said fine, I am in the area getting my truck serviced I could probably meet up. She never could make the meeting but then two days later she called. Vocie crackling, sounding nervous, etc say hope to hear from you soon. Well, she has been dating someone during this time. So have I. I am really not sure if I should go through with this? Ex girlfriends do not usually call? This is the same girl who called on my anniversary to tell me that we will never be together again six months after we broke up. Same girl who figured out my hotmail password hint and was reading my email What does everyone thing about this?

I posted already in another section but I have added to the situation. If you have read already please skip to the last paragraph. I have been for the last 3 months fu.cking around with a giril at work. She is just turned 19 (quite attractive, 110 lbs) and I am 27. As shallow as it seems, I am only in it for the sex. Sorry but I really am. I have made it clear that if she wants to see someone else she can as long as she tells me so that I can stop fu.cking her because I don't want to catch a disease. She has said way back in that past that she likes the games. I don't blame her she is young. She also has had guys drool over her but I don't. I don't really give too much attention, I just try for the sex. I buy her nothing. It's shallow but that's all I want. . Just recently, yesterday she tells me that someone told her that I said she was easy. I told I did not say that. I dont think that. We fu.cked around at work 4 times yesterday. She gave me 3 BJ's and I got her off 4 times. We have fu.cked but not yesterday. Didn't want to get caught. We hadn't fu.cked for at least two weeks before yesterday. Yesterday went well but I get the impression she wants to know what is going on. She asked I if I was using her. I said no. Today. Out of the blue, she texts me. She tells me that she was asked out by some guy in her class for a drink tonight and she will let me know if something happens. I replied "OK" and left it at that. She then replies a few hours later that he took her out, to a bar where his ex works to try and make her jealous. She calls him a loser. I never replied back. Late tonight I reply to her "goodnight". She replies back, "I keep thinking of when I give you head. I think tonight I am going to use my vibrator". I reply back "good, have a good time, let me know if you get off". She replies 20 minutes later "OMG, got myself off and it was a tie for being as good as you, I just have to take a little longer". I replied "good for you!. I am happy you got urself off". She them gets pissed and replied "Whatever, ttly" I said "I am happy for you, I really am. Sounds like u are pissed at me but OK. ttyl *goodnight*" I have had a good time. I really have. I don't want a relationship but I do enjoy the sex and fooling around. I am starting to think about getting rid of her as she is starting to act a little stupid. She has said that every other guy she has been with has wanted relationships, wanted to be with her, gives her too much attention and I don't. POF. What should I do everyone?

Well she called yesterday mornig to the cottage that I was staying at the night she broke up with me on the telephone. The call came from her sister's house at 11:23am just over 12 hours after she broke up with me. It could of been her sister calling but I am not sure. Anyways. I have GREAT news on the job front. Next week I have two job interviews.

That's a good point. Makes sense. The only thing that bothers me is that whenever I have broken up in the past and was sure of it or the person who broke up with me was sure of it there was no lingering doubt about it. For example, we were prepared to go on a trip with he brother in law and her sister in march. He called me Tuesday and we finalized everything. Her sister called me on Monday to also finalize everything. Just last Friday she was happy as could be and horny (HATE to sound so blunt. Sorry) as hell and then all of a sudden she is really sad about life/work/school/weight on Tuesday and then "us" on Wednesday her friend leaves for year long trip last Monday. She also told me that she still wants me a part of her life but I told her no not right now. Maybe in some time. Your suggestion really makes good sense and I understand she would be more prepared this time but she told me last time all she wanted was to be with me when were broke up. I dunno, I am just confused right now.

Thanks. That is what I have been thinking to myself. I just don't want to burn any brifge or have any resentment towards here which I don't because that will make things EVEN worse.

Wel she broke up with me in Dec and now she has done it again. she can back the last time but this time I am not so sure. Hi everyone I am hoping to get a little advice her or be told that I am doing the right thing. This post might be a little long so sorry also, I am going to be very personal. Sorry. Well, she broke up with me last night. This is not the first time, the first time was on Dec30th and now about 6 weeks later she has done it again. Now first off, I just want to say that I don't hate or resent her. Of course I am upset and it hurt BUT I don't hate he because I have broken up with people before and know how it feels when you MIGHT not want to see someone anymore or just simply want something else. So for that, I don't hate her. Also, she was really good to me in the 2 1/2 years that we went out and she really made me into a better person JUST because I knew her. We were friends for 2 years before. She never really tried to hurt me and for that I have the respect for her. She also told me that she is scared of breaking up because she is afraid of losing me and is a little confused. Also, she mentioned that doesn't if she loves me for "who" I am. Ok, what happened was I called her up last night and noticed she was very upset. She said that she didn't want to talk about it but I pressed and eventually it came out. She told me that she hasn't been happy for a while. She told me that when we had some arguments in the passed she wished I broke up with her so she would not feel guilty. This March I was supposed to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic with her and her sister and brother in law. Last year I let her down by not going but this year I was interested and wanted to go and finalized the plans with her borther in law. She told me last night that it was fair for me to go on this trip and feel this way about "us" and then break up with me. She also told me that she is afraid to get married with me because she thinks we will fight a lot and she says deep down in her heart that she knows that we might not be meant to be together. She also said that she kind of faked being happy sometimes . Okay, so she told me that she still wanted me to be a part of her life and I honestly said that "no" I can't. Not because I don't want to know her but because it would take me a good long time to move on and I don't want to be set back. I then told her that maybe in year or so but not right now. She then told me that she wanted to me take this sentimental blanket that I gave her back and I told her either, put it away somewhere I get it later or mail it to me because I don't want to see her. Finally, I said I have to go and she said ok but she said "you" have to hang up so I did. Now, we broke up in Dec and got back together a few days later because she just "wanted" to be with me. At that time, she missed her period which she did and was all freaked out. She got a pregnacy test and told me everything was ok and such. We had a long chat about some of the things that she didn't like that I was doing (like never being there when she really needed me) which I changed. I was there but sometimes I gave a hastle about it. After we got back together I did change some of the things that she didn't like so it wouldn't make her unhappy. For me, I really think things were okay the last month but obviously for her they werent. Before last night (Tuesday) she called me a told me that she was unhappy. I asked about what and she told me life in general. she told me that she felt helpless and hated school, wasn't sure if it was the right program, wasn't sure if she wanted to work instead. I simply listened and then told her that whatever decision about life she wants to make I would support her with it. I know she is very busy with work AND school as went to work yesterday from 9-4 and then to university from 5-930. She did gain a little weight and told me that she is unhappy about her body. Then she broke up with me when she got home. Also, she is late again this month. This time I really think there could be something because we had sex about half way through her cylce. But anyhow, she is about 10 days late like last time. Finally, I am 5 years older than year, I am 26 just finished university looking for a job ect. She is in her first year. Now. I am not looking for anyone to tell me to hate her or be told how to feel. I REALLY love this girl from the bottom of my heart because of who she is. I found this out in the summer when I was going to leave her and then realized that I love her for who she is. Ther is NOTHING that makes me more happy than for he to be happy and whatever I can do to make her happy I would love to. Please, nobody tell to hate her because I don't. I am her first boyfriend and I have felt what she has felt before with my first girlfriend. Also, I have always held the position that she needs to know what other guys are like so she can compare me. I know what other girls a like and I am very happy with her because the good outweighs the bad.. However, I am not saying she is perfect or doesn't have flaws beacuse she does. Just being with her in the same room makes me happy. Now, I told that I wasn't so sure that I would take her back. I plan of having ABSOLUTELY no contact with her unless she contacts me which I will not necassarly talk to her right away. I also, realize that this might be it for the both of us however I have no doubt that after a while she WILL realize the mistake she has made and will see me for who I am..... I also understand that she needs to go through this stage in her life of how she feels about guys or life in gereral and for me to not let her feel this way would be unfair to her and me. The NC is the right choice. I do want to try to move on but I also know that I love her very much. what does everyone think. Please no hate posts about her and no specualation of what other reasons in could be. She has NEVER given me a reason ever to doubt her honesty and for that I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. One thing I want to add is that I fully understand that life will go on with her or without her and I am prepared to do that. It will be tough but I know I can move on. Thank you.

Well i have been broken up about five years ago and was devastated. I know that as time goes by all that will be thought of is the good things about her and the goods things about me. There really is no point in being not level headed because it will just make things worse. We did have another kiss before I left and I said "i love her" and she said she "loved me too". I think the best thing is that even though she broke up with me I still felt respected after it she did it. I am really glad I didn' hear "it's not you it's me" as I asked her seriously WHY? and for as much as I know it really seemed like she gave me the truth which I respect. I will say that she was a positive influence on my life for 2 and 1/2 years and I will never EVER forget her. She made me such a better person to this day, but things happen for a reason. I don't want to be angry at her or have any lingering resentment. Please don't think I am not upset, I am. I just feel different and much stronger this time around.

Thanks so much. I completely understand. I for one once had a girlfriend who was nothing else but everything to me, but once I found my last girlfriend I realized all the things I should not of overreacted to. It really sucks that I might face the fact that I might never EVER see her again but I think that is for the best of us because if I do see her again then it might of been best for the space but if I don't see her again it might also be for the best. The one thing that I feel good about in all this is that she told me why she does not want to be together and for that respect it. I feel respect for her because she did not leave me hanging wondering why. I have always felt that she needed to experience having someone else and I admit I was afraid of it but it now is reality so what is done is done. Thank you for the advice and I agree that she needs to go out and compare me to other guys. I also do believe that there is nothnig wrong with me (there likely is some things wrong) but I am confident enough to know that it is not me but our relationship (as sappy as that sounds) that was wrong. there was likely some stuff I did wrong that I should not of but I can't change that now. Thanks to everyone for their advice. It makes me feel better and I respect it. please if anyone has anything else they wish to add please feel free to add it.

Thanks to those who have responded so far. The advice is reassuring. I need more responses. I am taking in your advice. I forgot to mention that I told her that we should not talk for a while, she said she is not closed to the idea of getting back together one day. I have the discipline to make it work by NOT having any contact with her and I know the benefits of NC. Thanks man. any other opinions.

Hi everybody, I am a 26 year old male who just broke up with my girlfriend today. I am not angry or mad, a little hurt but is the way it goes. Any advice from anyone? Here is the situation. I am 26, she just turned 21 yesterday. We have been together for an incredible (at least I think so) 2 and 1/2 years and we were friends for 2 years before that. Sure there was some ups and downs and some disagreements or fights but that happens all the time. For the last week I have been sensing something is wrong with her. I thought something like this was looming. I told my best friend, my brother, his girlfriend and my mom that something was not right with her and I think there will be a break (wasn't sure about a break up) very soon. Now I am not bragging or getting ahead of myself but I think I am a pretty good guy. What I mean by that is that I just graduated university, going to get a job, don't smoke/drugs drink to much, have good parents etc etc etc. So I know the problems is not drug abuse, parents or abuse. After she said she wants to end it, before I left I asked her why?. I wanted to know for myself. The reason was that she does not feel happy anymore, we had been having arguments over minor stuff. She says that she wants a boyfriend who takes care of her by picking her up from work and driving her to worK (I do take her to work sometimes when I can). I ALWAYS pick her up if she works really late because I don't want her taking the bus late at night. Otherwise I pick her up every now and then. She tells me she wants a boyfriend who wants to travel, she goes on trips with her sister (who is married and has full time job) all the time. I could not go because I did not have the $1200 bucks at the time in March and I also was in the middle of exams. The final thing we talked about was around Christmas day. She wanted me to go to a Christmas morning breakfast and then come over for presents and dinner. I had other things as well to do that day with my family and could not do the breakfast. the presents and dinner were no problem I attended those. Now, in the summer she insisted that we have my parents and her mom meet. I objected at the time because I didn't want to get all that serious. I eventually said fine and the parents met. Everything went ok with no complaints. We also went to Montreal, Ottawa and Quebec City in the summer and had some problems. There problems with getting along more than anything else. We did separate back then but not for long as she told me that she made a mistake and all that. The last thing she mentioned was that she wants to see if other guys are like me. Sorry this is so long but I really love her. I have in the past done whatever it takes with me personally to change what I was doing to annoy her to make her happy, however, not without reason. I also really think that we are great together and she is really a special person who I will never ever find again and I really mean that. I know I will meet other women and I have had other girlfriends before but this one was so special. She always says how I should show how much I love her all the time and I tried. I did as many things as I could to show her I love her but I just got the feeling she had un realistic expectations. She also comes from a family who had a difficult father who her mother left 3 years ago and she also has a VERY controlling sister who's husband once left her for 3 months but are back together now. Any opinions would be greatful. Please don't respond with move on or get over it I will. I have before and I will agian. One last thing. She has never had a boyfriend before me and I have had a girlfriend before. For some reason I just really think she needs some time and space (and so do I) to realize what we have together. Any thoughts are welcome please