S1asher6

If he's the shy guy I think he is, he may simply be at a lost on how he's suppose to act around you.

No, I don't believe that... I don't believe people completely change. And when people change, it's not so much the aspects of their personality that change. What changes is everything that surrounds them and involve them. At the end of it all, there can only be one of two conclusions to your questioning and wondering, no matter how much you think about it. And quite simply, there's only self-acceptance or on-going wondering whether people can be completely changed - most people keep on wondering. Whereas, let me remind you, self-acceptance is when who you are is no more a bother.

How is the story sick, sad, and disturbing? I agree that the story is sad but certainly not sick or disturbing.

Yea... it's not that funny. But hey, whatever tickles your nerves.

We all walk alone. Anybody walking into your life would just be your companion on the road of life. Aside from your family, everybody else comes and goes. Some stays and those that stays becomes our good friends. It's great when there's someone close walking along side. It's especially great when it's a girlfriend from whom you receive affections. But you seem to have forgotten that, before the girlfriend you've recently broken up with, you were walking alone. Do you remember when you start yearning for a girlfriend? It probably has taken you some time before the first girl came along. Now you're walking alone again. Give it some time. Enjoy the attentions you get from girls. Enjoy giving girls your attention. Enjoy the excitment of the different possibilities. Enjoy whatever you find entertaining. Your life's purpose can't possibly be the girl you've broken up with.

I think it takes experience and how much you've learned from it. But, even then, you'll only be getting a vibe that the girl might like you. The best thing here is a guess based on experience. There really isn't a sure way to know whether a girl likes you or not. Sometimes people themselves can't be sure if they like someone. How, then, can you know if a girl likes you without asking her?

I wouldn't say it's a lot easier for girls to get into a relationship. I think girls have just as hard a time getting into a relationship as guys do. I mean, a relationship is a two way street, right? If a guy likes a girl, the guy makes the first move. If a girl likes a guy, the girl makes the first move. If guys are being served on the plate for making the first move, the same goes for the ladies. It's really a matter of who likes who; whether the girl likes the guy or the guy likes the girl. There are the girls that makes the first moves and strictly from experience, it seems like they have a pretty tough time bringing up that courage. It's not any easier for the ladies. It might even be tougher for the ladies because, as it seems, it's a guy's job to make the approach. Then there are the girls who would just sit there and peek at you. They wouldn't approach you and they probably never will unless you make the initiative. That's when it becomes tough on the guy's part. But reading around on these forums, it doesn't seem like a guy's job to make the first move anymore. When it comes down to, it really depends on who you are; whether you're the go-getter or the come-and-get-me type. If you're the come-and-get-me type, then it's tough whether you're a guy or a girl. Also, it really depends on who likes who first.

If looks don't matter, then why are there so many people battered by their unattractive physical bearing? Take a walk in the park. Go shopping at the mall. Pay attention to the people around you. Reality says otherwise. Just look around and you'll see people of certain height and body type with someone of similiar qualities. For the very least, you'll never see an elegant, classy looking guy in a suit with a thuggy girl in sneakers and baggy pants, wearing a cap backwards. Looks matters. It's not the most important and a good personality certainly plays a bigger part in a relationship. It's what maintains a relationship. But the thing here is not how attractive or unattractive a person is. The thing is what's acceptable. And that applies differently to different people. It's too easy to say that a personality is all that matters. It rings too nicely. But quite frankly, that's a load. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. But a person's personality is not all that matters. Personality just matters more than a person's look and everybody wants someone that meets their standard in that matter. Again, I'm sorry, but saying personality is all that matters defies reality. Personality matters as well as looks. Each and everybody just have a different balance of the two. Call me shallow... call me whatever you want. I just can't help it. That's the reality I see every single time a couple crosses my path.

First of all, it's just socially improper to view pornograpic materials at inappropriate times and places. It's just social propriety that we keep certain things to the privacy of our time. Second of all, there are people that sanction the intimate nature of the materials revealed in pornography. The intimate nature of these materials have principle values. When something of principle value is revealed so worthlessly, so boldly, and for entertainment, it becomes offensive. Third, I think most people don't find pornography offensive. I think most people just find it improper and it's most improper if pornography is not viewed at a private time and place. Lock yourself in your room and you can enjoy yourself however you want. Outside of your room, any lustful, sexual activity is improper. So... it's not so much as how pornography is offensive. It's more so how proper it is at where and when.

I think it's easy to decide what love is when overcome by a seeming emotion of love. But you seem so sure what you feel is love. And by your definition of love, it may just be. You've decided that you love her. Now let her decide. Love is a waste of time, sometimes.

Trough Lolly, I'm happy for you, truly.

I do believe we are made for certain people. Simply because... we all have a preference. Our potential mates could only be a people within the range of our preferences. However different two individuals may be, they would still be a people within the range of that preference.

Sounds enough like love. I was six years old and my mother was to leave for a visit to my great-grandma. I held on to her sleeve and wouldn't let go and I cried like a baby when she finally figured out how to ditch me. I shouldn't have left go of her sleeve.

I think I'm going to die a virgin. I'm 22.

Put yourself in his shoe. You know him well enough to know that somethings wrong and you get the impression he doesn't really want to mention it; would you then still goes on to pursue the talk or would you back off and let him work things out? The same logic applies: if he asked, he'll probably want to know. If he didn't, he probably doesn't want to know. There's no reason to feel deceitful. It's your business and you're trying to leave it in the past. Unless it's true that you had the desire to share this recent drama with Fred, just let it be the past and move on with Fred to a better tomorrow.

First of all, it's a good thing you replied. I was wondering if you were drunk when you made that post. Second of all, agreed. A person must accept the self. Third of all, I don't treat the ladies any more kind than I treat the guys. A person's character is a person's character. If it's a shark, it won't care if it's eating your flesh and sucking your blood.

Good two cents and you've got a point, and a point only. If shy guys came out of their shells, we'd have a lot more happy women. But would they still be the shy guys as they were? No! that's when the shyness is conquerred. That's when the shy guys came out of their shells. I mean... Com'on! Try not to judge a shy guy by what his body made him feel. Different people have different characters. When a shy guy walks up to a girl with the intention to ask her out, you think he asked for the heart to start pounding like a drum? Understand that it's easier said than done for some people than some others. You're telling shy guys to look around themselves and realize there's nothing to be shy about. What exactly are shy guys to realize that you would tell them to look around themselves? Can you tell me why shy guys are shy? Can you tell me what a shy guy feels when he's about to ask a girl out? Be a bit more sensitive, here. A lot of shy people are BS because they don't admit anything, because they're afraid to? I'm a shy guy and one of the extreme. Why don't you have a girl I like confess her interest to me and see if I'll admit my interest? Then you said shy guys don't put in any efforts to DO ANYTHING. Um... hello! refraining from any actions is one of the ending results of being shy. If a guy could just put in the effort to do the damn thing and get the girl, he wouldn't be the shy guy, now, would he? And what...? shy guys place too much importance on one girl? as if it's all over if it doesn't work out? Is that a shame? I would honor a guy for placing such importance on a girl. It shows how much a guy values a girl. It implies a guy's willingness to commit to one girl. You think you can place that much importance on one girl?

I believe they call such a person either an egoist or egotist. One is at the height of selfishness and one at the height of conceit. To the topic... I don't think a good conversation can be forged by what you can do to make it more enjoyable. If I tell a joke, however hilarious, if you have a different sense of humor, you still wouldn't laugh. When it comes down to it, it's just the right characters and the common interests. Put together two like-minded individuals and they'll be much more likely be appreciative of the things the other have to say. I have two buddies I liken myself to. One of them is... call him Tryce and the other, call him Bryce. They both are the serious and quiet type. They don't talk much and when they do, it's often of more serious matters. I'm like that. So when we hang out, we don't talk much and the silence wouldn't be awkward. The atmophere would be... light, friendly, easeful. And when we do talk, it's always enjoyable. It doesn't really matter what we talk about. When it's the right combination of minds, a good conversation is bound to strike. I have this other buddy. Um... let's call him, Ryce. Now he just loves to talk. He also loves to joke. As oppose to my serious nature, he's a jolly wit, musingly afloat, and sometimes the way he muses at things are just offensive. Although we have our share of good conversations, for he has a sensitive side, it's just not easy at times. But then, the "good conversations" you're referring to are probably just "small talks." To some people, these small talks are a waste of energy. I'm one of them. I find these small talks tiresome at times. All-in-all, though, a good conversation just requires the right characters and the common interests. With the likened minds, even the tiresome small talks could be an enjoyable conversation. Suplement the likened minds with common interests and a good conversation is bound to flare.

I just realized, after posting, that you've written another post. 8) Seems like you're pretty fond of the guy. It's only been one day and you're concerned you might've lost him. Give it another day or two. It's been one day. He's probably got things to tend to. That's how your email account gets frozen by the provider. Get caught up in life and you'll forget things. And to check your email is probably of the least priority.

Oh... okay. Then... it seems like we have no problem for the moment. If he knows, you're afraid that kind of drama would scare him away. But did he ask? I see how you may be concerned. But the guy sound sympathetic enough to be able to gobble up your words. And if he asks, he'll probably want to know. If it'll alleviate your concern, though, take meneca's approach when he asks. Otherwise, just ask him if he's sure he wants to know. But be aware that he have yet to learn of the drama. Until he's asking for it, turn on some tunes, have a beer, and enjoy your conversations with Fred. Talk about the silly things you've done, reminisce a little. But ya know... it seems like you have the desire to let this drama out of you and you especially wanted to share it with Fred. I get the feeling that it'll mean something to you. But telling him might also mean losing him. But then, there he stands, the spark of light at the end of the tunnel. But the drama is too complicated and the effect of that drama still lingers. It's confusing and you're mind has not yet cleared. So you become concerned before hand about losing Fred. Am I wrong?

Wow... what confusing drama you have? I had to read it twice just to make sure I know what's going on and even now I'm not too sure I fully understand. Through all that drama, you wish you could just enjoy an open-line with this.... I'm not too sure which guy which it is. You've mentioned the druggy, the ex-boyfriend-druggy, and another ex-boyfriend? And among all the collaborated interwining, I'm not too sure who's who. To answer the second post, though, you wanted to talk to this guy you enjoy talking to (after all that drama, I can only imagine). But you don't want him to know about the drama, lest he won't want to talk to you. Now... what led you to think he won't want to talk to you if he finds out about the drama? Is he an insensitive guy? Had he never taken an interest to your life's problems? Did he flee in the past when it comes your life's drama? You said he knows you well and you usually talk to him about everything. What makes the recent drama any different? Is it simply because of the fear that he won't talk to you anymore if he knows, or are there other issues to this? If there are other issues, that which you feel uncomfortable mentioning, then muneca's suggestion is ideal. I can make a suggestion. But I don't know if there are any under-lying matters that are obscure even to yourself. So all I can suggest here is to do the corny thing, and quote: "Seek ye answer within." Now... let me take your picture. Say cheese and Smile.

You're absolutely right. However you define love, love can't simply be an attraction and it's all I'm trying to say. You can be instantly attracted to a person. But that doesn't mean you can instantly love a person.

Well... is love simply an attraction? I guess the answer to your question is the classic, how-do-you-define-love.

I don't believe in "love at first sight." But I do believe in "attraction by the instant."

I'm sure there's a point in your life when you feel down. It's part of being happy. Try to remember and maintain that feeling. Relive the experience, grab hold of it. Start amplifying the feelng, expand it, intensify it. You were down, but you're really down now. You were really down, but you're extremely down now. You were extremely down, but you're gravely down now. You were gravely down, but you're dreadfully down now. You feel like hurting yourself, yet? If not, keep on expanding that feeling, intensify it, and don't stop. Just keep on going. Keep on going until you can see nothing, hear no reasons, or hear anything for that matter. Keep going until you don't know what the hell you're doing anymore. Keep on going until you reach a point where you feel completely senseless. Keep going until you reach the point where you feel like you're standing between madness and sanity. Keep on going until you reach the point where you feel like you're dying and you're conscious enough to feel every bit of pain, yet, lives on to feel that pain. Keep on going until you feel the need to bang your fists against your head, hoping one pain would annul the other. Keep on going until you get so aggravated by the feeling that anybody asking anything of you tingles your nerves irritably. You see now? If you still don't, just keep on intensifying that feeling. Eventually, you'll see why people want to hurt themselves or kill themselves.