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Mikhail_Scosyrev

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  1. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation. No matter how you look at it, it is bad from all angles. Your wife is difinitely unfaithful to you, and she is lying to you. These are two big negatives that would be enough for many people to end a relationship. But it's marriage, and moves like this should be avoided at all possible costs. Afterall, anyone can make a mistake and get carried away by a tempting affair. At this point, you can hope that she will realize her wrongdoing and will agree to cut off all of the contact with him, and be honest with you from now on. It might be difficult to achieve, but it's an important step... like removing a bullet, if you are to heal and live after the injury. Good luck to you.
  2. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    i think it's definitely necessary to tell him. many people would not want to be intimate with a girl who cheated on them for many reasons, not last of which is a possibility of an STD as been mentioned eariler. The thing is, there are so many types infections, bacterias and fungi, that many of them can not be detected for a long time after the contact, yet, they can create serious complications for men, and thereforeeee, future women partners... one of the worst is a cervical cancer... So, i think it is your moral responsibility to either end your relationship with him or tell him the facts about the affair, so he can decided whether to be intimate with you in the future and continue a relationship.
  3. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    I think all of your points are important and reasonable, however, predicting an outcome based on this is questionable. A lot of things that attract people are unconscious, or things like partner's unique smell. Propinquity theory of mate selection has 6 major parts, quite similar to yours. So, but again, predicting the future outcome is impossible. Too much chance is involved. People change, circumstances changes. Imagine a car. And some one lists conditions necessary to predict that it will start and drive, or even more, be drivable for certain amount of years. The person might start something like: the car needs to have four wheels, needs to have an engine, fuel, ignition system, ignition key, steering wheel, drive belts, water pump... Sounds reasonable? But there are things like throttle position sensor, cam shaft position sensor, oxygen senson, pcv valve, computer.... all very complicated, which is hard to keep in mind or predict its reliability... Same in relationships... too many hidden things we are unaware of, or simply that are in the future beyong our control. What if two people match (agree) on all of these connections, but next day comes a man who has all that plus is much better looking and with more money... will the relationship still survive expected number of years?... I guess my botom line is, human relationships are not directly measurable or predictable.
  4. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    it's hard... sometimes you can make things worse by acting or by keeping it inside. for me it's better to let things out in the open. if i feel threatened or insecure, I deal with it and present my problem. If that will break your relationship, then it broke because of who you are, your real concerns, and if that guy cant be with you (true you), then he is not the right person in the first place.
  5. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    Yes, I think you are being reasonable. Can you talk to her about it? Have you tried? Does she realize you are concerned? Maybe mentioning you has not much to do with how much she cares about you. Does she do other things that tell you one way or another? Good luck.
  6. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    Actually, the easiest and more preciese way to experience very similar to intercourse is to use a banana. Take a banana bigger than your unit, cut off one end and squeeze out the inside... (this is what I heard at least)
  7. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    I dont think you were wrong at all. What can you acused of being wrong? Of feeling insecure about your physical apearance? That's not something you are in control of. For being hurt and stressed because you accidentally saw something that worrys you? No, you didn't intend to search through his personal stuff (even though I think that should not be hidden in a truly open relationship). It is possible to understand his though, as well. You shouldn't blame him for being upset. He may indeed feel that you are lacking trust in him, or be simply irritated by bringing this issue too often. You know, there is a phenomenon that men are percieving the appearance of a woman through her own eyes. I.e. if you have confidence in your body, so will he. Good luck.
  8. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    I also want to add that it is important to be self-sufficient, not only for girls, which like independent and confident guys, but simply for yourself. Isn't it much better to be happy and not depend on someone. It may sounds strange, but logically, everyone would choose being self-sufficient, independent because other people are not reliable. If you had a hobby you could be happy with it. Someone mentioned an interesting way of coping with a break up: "I bought a brand new car, so it cost me a lot to recover", but hey... having a new car is also great. So, you can treat yourself in a special way to make up for dissatisfaction in other parts of your life.
  9. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    lightn, yes, i quit the job and had nothing keeping me in LA, the money is not an issue, really. the bike i bought for 20$ from a guy near wal mart, i didn't stop in motels so it's only price of food and i spent something like 600$ on food in 3 months... and it could be less... money in canada can buy more, plus a lot of their foods are cheaper, like milk and other dairy products. clothes... ah... yes, i carried clothes to change, but that's not an issue, some people just take two sets and wash one each evening in the tap and let it dry while riding, or something like that. I was living in that world while riding rediscovering who i am and where i am... im serious, it can make your day when you are riding all day in the middle of nowhere where there are no people at all, and some animal comes in front of your bike and stands there for 5 minutes without being scared... or you find a tree with sweet plums... yeah, by truck it could also be nice, but it indeed costs money and you can only stay on main roads, while on bike you can be anywhere. Good luck.
  10. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    Volution, several questions to you first: How can we help you here? I do feel that your life is very difficult. What have you tried so far? What do you want to have different? Imagine that this night, when you are asleep, a miracle happens so that your problem is solved. But you don't know about it because you are asleep. What will be first things you will notice in the morning that are different? How do you cope with your pain and problems? How do manage to get out of bed, work and post on this board? What makes you able to do that?
  11. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    One thing I can tell is that you write well. I really read your post on one breath. You write better than many people on this board. So, you are at least special in writing, I don't know why you said you have no talants. You also sound like you have a very stable and balanced personality, not being too critical, cynical or self centered. I think the person who will be with you in the future is very lucky. Guy from Los Angeles. Good luck.
  12. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation. How do you manage to turn on the computer, load this page and create a new tread? That must be hard to do for someone who is in such a tough situation... What made you able to do all this?
  13. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    lightn, I realize how difficult your life is and how hard it is to cope, but you managed to do it well so far. You know, I always thought, if I ever find myself in a very tough situation when suicide could be an option, I would still take one more try and do the following: i would actually cut off all my contacts with the people and places around where I lived. i would buy a bicycle, tent and a sleeping bag, and bike away... somewhere to Canada... or south america and live day by day on the road. have you considered this? it's going to be totally different life, problems that existed in the past will no longer be there. There will be other problems, like finding a camping spot, repairing a flat tire, finding food to eat, but all this problems will only give a feeling of reward laying in the tent at night. here i did something similar: link removed and here are journals of many other people who ve done long distance bike tours link removed Peace
  14. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    Looks like your main problem is your unsatisfaction with your sex life, not the fact that boyfriend looks at porn. So, it's a totally different issue. Has it been better before? Do you have any ideas what could have changed? Do you ever have times when seems alright? What is different in those times? Good luck.
  15. Mikhail_Scosyrev
    If you think your current boyfriend would choose knowing, then definitelly tell him. Would you like to know something like this about your bf? I think most people prefer knowing the truth, even unpleasant, rather than being ignorant. Good luck.
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