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Anger is a tough thing man... I have delt with it my entire life... I have been miserable... A few questions... Do you smoke pot? Why do you get angry? Is it over girls? Not getting your way?? Is it selfishness that is causing it?? Yeah.. it aint easy... I try to get away (even if I have to run away) and get by myself... then I start anylising WHY I was getting mad.... what I could do to NOT be mad... and what would happen if I got mad... In 6 months... you won't even remember what you are mad about today... so how important is it?? I aint dissin' you man... just trying to help!!! Shawn

Leah, Those family members 3 hours away may be an option to look at. That would get you out of your house... away from your dad... a new school... a fresh start so to speak... I mean... even foster care would be better than what you are having to face at home... I am so sorry you are in such a terrible house. The cutting and smoking is something you may want to take a look at when you get to go live somewhere else. I am 35 and have smoked since I was 16. I have tried and tried and tried to quit... but I haven't been sucessful. Smoking is killing me and I still can't stop. I would hate for you to have to go through that as well... It's your life Leah. You have to look out for you right now. Getting beat on at home, MAY effect the guys you date in the future. You may end up in an abusive relationship. I wish you the best. Shawn

What if you did the opposite?? Tell him how big he is and how much it hurts when you are having sex. How you have never seen one that large... etc... ?? Shawn

Yeah... If she can cheat on him with you... she can cheat on you with... ME?? Or someone else... if ya know what I mean... Shawn

Just a thought... but maybe she is just starting out slow... taking it easy... seeing if there is any chemistry. Maybe, next time you see her, just be frank... and ask her... hey... how come you never call me back?? Shawn

SweatPea, I am sorry for the age thing... and I REALLY wasn't try to be condesending at all... I have lived with the worst jealousy you could ever image... up until a few months ago when I went to see a shrink... and he put me on medication that kind of levels me out... I did check both wifes emails, cell phones, caller ID at home... go through their purses... just KNOWING they were cheating on me... trying to CATCH them... and you know what... they werent... but I was so jealous and insecure about myself... the "i am a piece of crap" sydrome... so why would this person continue to stay with me... I got issues too SweatPea... I am 35 and am JUST NOW getting help for myself... I would hate for ANYONE (including you) to have to wait as long as I did before I got help.... Yes... I know a lot of people that were high school sweet hearts and are still married to this day... My sister did too!! Starting dating as a Freshman and they are still married today!! (and very happy) Good luck... and I am sorry if you took my post wrong... that wasn't my intention!!! I promise!!!! Shawn

Divinity, I care that you are 14/15 and having sex with a much older guy. Actually at that age, it may be considered illegal for him having sex with a minor... someone under 18... I would like to talk with you about your suicide attempt... this is serious... I would venture to guess that there are more issues going on than just this guy... Maybe family problems?? Self esteem issues?? Lack of parenting?? Being alone at home?? Whatever it is... this is something you need to look at first please... please!!! At 14/15 this guys is "probably" not going to be the one you get married to... I mean... chances are more than likely that you won't... no big deal... you may have 5-10 boyfriends before you find the right one... maybe more!! If you have sex with all of them... how will the right one know that you will be special for him... does that make sense... do you want a husband that has been with 10 different girls.... what do you want in a boyfiend?? Do you even need a boyfriend right now?? What about your girl "friends" at school?? If there is any way possible you can get some counceling... you would be suprized how much it could help... if you can be REALLY honest with them... you have to be... or it won't work... sometimes it is embarrasing to talk about true feelings... and it hurts... and makes you cry... but after that is over... you can start healing... and feeling better about yourself... and your situation... it is YOUR LIFE... You can be as HAPPY as you ever dreamed... start looking out for you girl!! Your happieness and saftey and health and good times and memories are all up to you!!! I hope this helps... and if you need to talk more, post again and I will reply.... We will all be thinking about you!!! You are special!!!! Shawn

What if Husband was cheating on you? Yes, it sounds like this guy is great looking... a treat to be with... (the jealousy and other things are a HUGE warning sign... he could end up being a huge control freak... then you will end up being a prisoner of a good looking bo hunk... and life will not be good) You have a husband... and kids... Do you still love him at all?? Can things get straightened out in your marriage?? Can you be faithful to him while you figure out what YOU need to do?? TALKING is going to be the big key here... The cat may get out of the bag before you get a chance to talk with him... that would be BAD... So think about this... write down a list of things you need to talk with your husband about... if you want to try and save your marriage... SEX ... not having enough COMPLIMENTS... he doesn't comliment you enough... make you feel special and wanted... (not nagging... just talk lovingly to him about this... you love him and want to stay with him... and you just need a little more attention) DOING STUFF TOGETHER... we don't do things like we use to... DO STUFF WITH KIDS & HUB... start doing family activites appropriate to the childrens ages... Get a time when you can have a couple hours alone with him... even if it means getting a sitter or dropping kids off with friend/realatives... This thing is GOING to blow up!! You need to do something before it does... This is your life... and the only responsibilty you have is to the kids... and yourself... You have to be happy!!! Maybe you need to a divorce... But... remember... if you cheat on a spouse... why should the next person not think you would cheat on them... cuz you have done it in the past when things go bad.... or stale... or boring... Good Luck!! Shawn

This is a tough one... he really didn't show any remorse about the situation... plus he says he was really drunk... is that his excuse?? Sure we all do things were not suppose to... and alcohol can really impare judgement!! (I know this for a fact!!!) Being upset is natural... how you handle it... is going to be the key!! Why did he tell you this?? Was he being straight and honest with you?? Was he worried someone was going to tell you about it?? Was he "bragging" about it?? Was he trying to show you that he can still get "pretty" girls?? Oh the joys of life... How long have you been dating?? Does this feel like someone you could marry?? Is this your lifemate?? Soulmate?? ... or not?? If not... move on... be nice about it... Let us know how it goes!!! I am sure we will all be thinking good thoughts for you!!! Shawn

Well.. you were looking for a girlfriend when you found her... What do you want in a woman?? Maybe she IS just the way she IS... Something we have to either accept people the way they are... or NOT It is your choice We can't "change" people... do you want to be "changed"? You can talk to people... "hey... I feel uncomfortable with ... you talking to all these guys... talking to past "lovers"... etc... It really bothers me... and makes me feel uncomfortable... " Okay now... WHY does it make you feel uncomfortable?? Is she going to cheat on you? Is she going to "find" somebody else and leave you? Is she a flirt and this kind of excites her in some way... or fulfills something in her life?? You know some people are just like that.... and it's our choice to decide whether or not we should be with them... or CAN be with them... There is someone out there for you... maybe it's not her... Maybe it is her... I hope this helps... Shawn

I guess the first thing I have to say... and don't be mad about this... just try and keep an open mind... you are 16... he is probably NOT going to be your life mate... the guy you are going to marry and have children and hopefully grow old with... (The American Dream) I am on my second marriage... my first... we met at 17... got married (baby) at 18... and divorced at 25 (7 years together)... Yes it was a good thing because I got a wonderful son out of it... and I have a lot of great (and bad) memories of that time period of my life... I wish I would have had this website then!!! What you do and the way you act now may set a pattern for how you treat new boyfriends in future relationships... I wouldn't want you to go through life always worrying that your boyfriend or husband is doing something wrong... cheating... lying... WHY? is out to "get you"... is going to leave you... or find someone better... ya know?? If you two are around the same age... he may just be curious about what it would be like to be with "other" girls... as, at some point in time... you may be curious about other guys... that's okay... it normal and natural... I think almost everybody "wonders"... it just what you do... if people go beyond wondering ... and actually do something... then they are in the WRONG... I hope this helps out!! I'll be wishin good thing for ya!! (maybe start reading some stuff on Jealousy to find out why you are having those feeling... I know it sucks reading... (well.. I really don't like to read much I should say) ... but this is important... it's YOUR Life... I don't think you want to spend it being all keyed up with jealousy... Shawn

I just want you to think about something. If he is cheating on his WIFE... with YOU... why wouldn't he cheat on YOU with someone else should you end up together? People shouldn't have sex or "date" or "talk dirty" or whatever... to a married person.... man or woman... If I had been dating someone that was married... for a long time... I mean... I loved her/him more than anything... and he says he loves me too... BUT she/he is CHEATING and LYING to the spouse that they MARRIED... that they told them they loved... forever and ever.... If I thought about it that way... I would probably (even thou it would be the most painful things that I ever experienced) but I would have to end it with the married person... and either... take a month off dating... and do something for myself... something I wanted to learn how to do... or make... or cook... or you know... something to make me feel good... Then... start dating... maybe even try the eharmony type dating service... and see if I could find someone that had my same wants and was in to the same things I liked... oh... AND IS SINGLE!!!! Keep that chin up... it's all part of life! Shawn