jurupa
-
Posts
286 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by jurupa
-
Gaining experience through just reading posts and answering!!!!!
jurupa replied to yeawutever's topic in Personal Growth
I would say that it is a mix for me. There are things to learn here that as of right now in my life I can not learn in the real world so I learn them here, and vis veursa. I don't think people here can learn everything here, becuase you can't show nor express certain human things thru text and must be experince first hand. But like others have said learning is a non-stop process. And it is best to learn from other peoples mistakes, becuase more likely than not you may have the oppurtunity to adovid or correct the mistake that someone else made before you. Or sometimes you are force to make the same mistake, but now get the full picture of the mistake as you now have a first view as well as a 3rd view of the mistake and can understand it better and learn from it. -
Your only real option if you still interested in this guy is to become more aggressive in trying to talk to him. Make something up that would start a converstation with him or make up a question even if it is stupid as hell to ask the guy. If you don't mind me asking what did you talk about the last time you talk to him? I am just asking becuase it may have to do with the way he is acting now.
-
In a nice short simple answer it is called "female radar". Now for nice not so short answer. It has to do with what was said and was brought up which the girl uses to judge the guy [literally] to see if he is exciting enough to spend time to know. Most girls can tell what type of person you are and how smart you are by what you said and how you act, with out even asking a question. Guys do the same thing btw. For example last friday I said "hi" to a female manager from one of the stores in the strip mall that I have been flirting with. I first said "hi how are you" in Spanish and she said she doesn't speak spanish, so I ask her in Dutch/German if she spoke any Dutch/German and said that she didn't. But what I was able to pick up was that she knew that I was speaking Dutch/German. I ask her if she spoke any langauges and she said a little Itlain and English. Just from how that conversation went and what I learn from it she seems to be fairly smart and intellengent, how much I can't say but I know its up there tho and it is worth my while to find out more about her. I know this is from the guy side, but I bet you it is not that much different from the girl side as I am sure she pick up the fact that I spoke two languages (I am not fluent in them tho) and saw more of my personality. Now what she was thinking beisdes that I may be crazy, I have no idea but she isn't exactly blowing me off.
-
Boss likened me to a 2-year old
jurupa replied to LostInMyThoughts's topic in Career, Money and Education
I think you guys missed something here. LostInMyThoughts said that her or her current boss could be the boss. What I think is happening is that LostInMyThoughts here is somewhat actting like a boss or is posing a threat to her boss's job and the boss is pissed off about it. The reason I say this is that the boss pointed something out and made it a bigger deal than it should have been. She, the boss, then in reaction to the threat got her boss on her side so that the power is on her side and not on LostInMyThoughts side. LostInMyThoughts boss's boss showed her the e-mail which I would say that the higer boss is aware of the suitation at hand. As far as what to do to handle the suitation, I would say to talk to your boss and work things out basically. Ask her what can be done to adovid this the next time, basically. -
For me the sexisy hair style for me in general is when the hair is pulled back tight and made into a ponytail or dolled up some in the back. Now that doesn't mean I think it will work for every single girl out there, nor will I find it sexy on every girl out there. Quite frankly the only way to find out the sexiest hair style that fits your face and style of clothes. Sometimes curly hair is the sexist and other times it is straight or some other thingy (I am not exactly that knowledgeable of female hair styles lol). But I will say that guys in general are more attracted to straight hair. Why I have no freaking clue, but I think it has to do with the fact that straight hair "defines" a woman in that it looks femaine.
-
ShySoul - I understand your view and opinion on being or not being aggressive. I am not saying it is completely impossible for a guy to "sit" there and wait for a girl to come around, but it lowers his chances of finding a girl that is a match for him. And I agree that if thats who you are then thats who you are, but like you said the girl in the chat room started to flirt first and then you flirted back which can be viewed as being aggressive how much its hard to say. And ShySoul as far as your circumstances, it sounds like you made a smart choice and a wise one at that. There are people out there that get out of a relationship and then get into another one way to quickly. ShySould going back to being aggressive, in the chat room the reason I said that you where being aggressive is that I bet you wanted to learn more about the girl so you ask questions which is your most basic form of aggressivness. So in reality you are being aggressive, just in a passive manner thats all. Ailec1987 - I most certainly have to agree with that. Today I saw a couple in their late 30's and the guy was on the average side while his girl friend was very attractive, but I could tell that they loved each other and that they are connected with each other even tho physically they where on different levels.
-
I agree with half of your post and the other half I disagree with ShySoul. I start with the part I disagree with. What RIPDIME and knglerxt are doing is just sitting there waiting for a girl to come around that is a match. I know that not everyone has a girlfriend/boyfriend in highschool, but it is not a bad time to work on skills that will get you one later on in life. Yes highschool life is different than real world, but there are many things you can learn and use out side of high school life. But if they never try and get up and at least approach a girl they will basically get nowhere. Yes more and more girls are getting more aggressive, but the percentage is still very low. I am not saying that they be so aggressive that it looks like they are desprate or cocky or out of character. This brings me to the part I agree with, which is not changing who you are. But in high school is a time when people change and start to learn who they are, it is also the time to pick up and learn new traits while improving on the ones you already have. For example when I enter high school I was shy. By the time I left high school most of the shyness I had when I enter had gone away. Now 5 years out of high school I bearly have any shyness left in me. ShySoul you said that something always gets in the way. Does something that comes up becomes an actuall blocker or you were not aggressive enough to over come the obstacle? The reason I ask this is that most obstacles can be over come in some manner. I am not trying to push you into something your not, but I don't know if you have consider this or not.
-
The main reason your not getting any girls is becuase your not being aggressive enough. It is ok to be nice to girls, but there is a point of being to nice which makes you look like a push over which no one likes, unless they want to use you. On the other hand you can be to aggressive as that can lead to bad things as well. Now your friends are idots for what they are doing to their "girl friends". But when they do become single again, watch them when they hit on girls and ask them out. Becuase I bet you that they are more aggresive than you.
-
In highschool I help out some with the disabled students (my high school has a program for these kids and students do help and enteract with them a fair amount). I believe in my senior year of high school I help out at a Disney community event thing for disable kids (My mom use to work for them) When I got out of high school my mom drag me into this program that helps run-a-way female teens as well as single moms that have problems. So far I have help out with watching over the kids the moms bring over when they have their meetings and go to work (I for some reason a natural with kids which is odd if you knew my past), I also become an ox when my mom need things to be moved for the program (like toys, bath stuff, female stuf etc), I am not kidding you. I also maintain the website for a sub group that helps out with the program in general, and this group I am now part of as my mom once again volunteered me. As far as the exprenice so far I like it and have found it rewarding in various ways. As no I am not a mommy's boy, my mom is just one of those moms even tho they are old they are active as heck in various things.
-
I just have one question before I get to your answers for your questions. You label your self as a player and seem to be pround of it, why? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I am just curious as to why thats all. Now for your answers to your questions. A tease is when someone shows off something that they know is attractive and makes you want to have "it" but does not show all of it nor let you touch "it" in any shape or form. For example a girl pulling up her dress to show off her leg(s). As far as being one as a guy it is much harder since girls are not as visual as us guys are, but a well built body does help tho. When a people refer to a guy being playfull, it usually means that the guy is very flirtatious or very physical with girls (meaning lots of flirting touching). Basically its another way of saying a guy is flirting or being flirtatious. Hopefully my answers help you.
-
Lily04 - You brought up an interesting point with the attractiveness study. The thing you have to remember with any study of any type is that they can not cover every single type/category out there when they do the study. For the most part I will say that the study is right, but then there are guys like me who fall out side of the study. I consider my self average looking and very few girls (mostly moms, I know sad lol, there is a reason behind it tho) said that I was good looking. I have have see all types of girls attracted to me, for what I can not tell you as I can not read minds, but I am also attracted to all types of girls as well so that may be part of the reason, who knows. Going back to the study, when we see two people that both match on looks we see the pysical connection, but when the looks do not match we wonder why the better looking one (it being the guy or girl) pick the "ugly" one as a boyfriend/girlfriend. There are loads of reasons why, but it makes us wonder anyway becuase it looks unatural, unblance, and odd to us.
-
It is possible for females and males to be friends on any level, the only thing that has to be held up is bountries and be able to up hold them. Without them things will go down hill. I think it is best when you know that your partner/lover/etc has friend(s) of the opposite sex to know how long the friendship has been going on for, how they met and what grounds the friendship is on.
-
I have to have a conection with the girl and feel at ease to the point where I am very confrontable talking to the girl and have no problems talking about anything (for the most part). But it can not be forced, it has to come naturally. Semi out going (to much of it is a turn off, since I am exactly not that out going). down to earth, laid back, open minded (this is high on my list), confindent (not to much tho). I would say that I would have a long term relationship with a girl that did not do sexual things to me early on than a girl that did them right off the bat. Sex or any sexual related things are not everything, if there is nothing else the relationship will not last long in my view. The only way to find out is to see if there is anything there besides the interest of sex or sexual things from either party before any sexual thing happens. It depends on how the girl does it. If she pushes me off for no good reason (I do understand the basics of the female body) I would get frustrated. If she teases me to long then I would say "bye bye" and walk out of the relationship. Its a balance game really. I never been drunk before, tispy tho, but I never have told a girl that I like her to get some, that is disrepect full, unless the girl wants a one night stand which I don't do (I know I am not normal). Neither for me. If the girl is a virgin, shes a virgin.
-
Don't know if someone's into me-and what to do about it if they are
jurupa replied to sweetheart230's topic in Dating Advice
For one thing having blond hair doesn't make you friendier necessary. I know I am a guy, but blond hair is not for everyone. I have seen asain girls with big breast that are friendly and approachable becuase they wear clothes that make them "open" and their body langauge says that they are friendly and don't mind being approached. sweetheart230 the next time you go to school try wearing a bright top (it doesn't matter what it is, just as long it goes with the days weather and makes you look good) and either black pants or light pants, as far as shoes go I will leave it up to you. When you see a guy looking at you or "checking you out" just give a small smile to the guy and nothing else (its best to take baby steps). Once you feel contfronable with this, if you find the guy interseting then check him out with your eyes while you smile. When you get to this point you should have relax some ( shyness tends to bring on tense body langauge) and will help you see guys that are interested in you easier and make it easier for guys that are interested in you to approach you easier. Just keep on doing this and you will find your self more contfrontable and relax and find flirting easier. Also going back to the clothes, try and wear clothes that show off your personality as it will make it easier for guys to read you since you said your face seems that your frowning, when infact your in a good mood. -
I know this a smartass comeback, but it should throw any girl for a loop: And your such a nice girl Say it sarcasticly and strech out the "such" some. You can add things to it, like: "And your such a nice girl I am sure your mom raised you right" or "Your such a nice girl you should buy me a drink since your all so nice". remember its how you say your comeback that does the damage and not the words that you nesseccarry use, that make the comeback good. But I did like this one a lot tho: "Yeah, my mother raised me right, didn't yours?" Or you can reply to the girl that said your "too nice" with a big sarcastic "thank you". You can say "I love you too" when the girl says it, that should get her as well. I know I am evil, but I tend to be a smartass and like to get girls off their guard.
-
Why even bother with being a "bad boy" or "nice boy"? Trying to fit some label to get girls won't get you anywhere, but short term relationships if that and a whole lot of emotions.
-
I am sorry but I find this funny becuase my moms friend has a someone in her family that does modeling and from what I am told he is a knock out. He did date model girls, but ended up dating this girl that was average looking and not even close to model material. From what I was told when he first ask her out she was shock to say the least and then he said he wanted to marry her and she was in shock from this as well. Just becuase the other girls are thin and have attractive bodies, doesn't mean guys will go for them. A lot of girls use their looks to get guys and not their personalities and brains to get guys. I know us guys are more attracted to physical things, but that doesn't last long. The guy went for you becuase he is attracted to you and not to the thin girls that you work with.
-
I am actually the opposite of you, in that I look older than my age. I am 21 almost 22 and people say that I look 23 all the way up to 28. It does get annoying, but I have gotten use to it. I just don't let it bother me and if it does I will think about something else. Like the other posters said, wear clothes that make you older, but not to old becuse if you dress to old for the age your body looks then it looks bad. Since you said that you look 18, but really 22 I would try and dress like a 20 year old. That should help you some. Also when you get older you may start to look older as you age. This does happen to a fair amount of people.
-
Also go to public events that will be geared to men. I live in the Los Angeles area and when the LA Auto Shopw comes and when I do go (I been to it about 4 times now) there tends to be more guys than girls, but its so much easier to start converstations in such events. And orange just so you know the movie is no where close to what Orange County is really like, nor is MTV's Laguna Beach series. I actually live in Orange County.
-
eager to learn the word games of male-female flirting
jurupa replied to sarsapolis6's topic in Dating Advice
The reason your guy friends are not telling you their secrets is that they found what works for them. Their personality is differnet than yours and you have to work with your personality and physical features. You just have to work with what you have and find what "play ground" works for you. For some people the party sceen is their "play ground" while for others its the clubs or the shopping center or the park or what ever. -
She thinks I am someone I am not (an outgoing person)
jurupa replied to registered's topic in Dating Advice
registered - I understand your thinking and your mind set is. But your not looking at the bigger picture. Becuase your introvertness is playing a big part in your social life. Just read the articles I posted and look at the way you act and behave day to day. You should see some connection there. You say that you want to be more outgoing and improve your people skills. Your going to have to let go the being more outgoing part as it will most probbaly never happen. You can improve your people skills tho. But you must understand that outgoing and people skills are two different things. Outgoing is a personality trait and people skills (which is semi connect to it tho) is a skill set. The way I basically learned my people skills is to watch people in various situations. It takes time to learn and there is no easy way to learn it. If your college has class on human behavior or a general pyhsic class, take it. I took one in highschool and I found it interesting and learned a fair amount. Trust me registered I understand what your going thru and how you feel about it. ShySoul - Your welcome. A lot of people don't understand us introverts and do label us incorrectly. -
She thinks I am someone I am not (an outgoing person)
jurupa replied to registered's topic in Dating Advice
Your welcome. I don't think you should become an outgoing person. You display to much introvertness. If you where on the line (it is possible) then you could work on it much easier, but you seem to be pretty good on the introverted side of things. But there are other ways to get girls. You said that you like to read (a trait of introverted people), so instead of going to a libary goto a coffee shop like StarBucks, and read there. It will make it easier on you and you increase your chances of a girl making the moves or at least starting a coversation with you by reading a book in a social environment that is open to such things. If you do, your best bet is to stay with history books or fictional books as technial books aren't good. Cooking books won't be a bad pick tho. And on romace novels, don't read them unless your into them becuase reading them just to attract girls under the pretense that your a romatic will not fly when they find out that your not one. All you have to do is put your self out there so you have the ability to interact with girls. I do my best to attend things I am invited to. Some things I will actually go out of my way to attend, but that is a very uncommon thing. Just remember that just becuase your a minority when it comes to personality types doesn't mean you have to give in and go to places where the extroverted people are. -
She thinks I am someone I am not (an outgoing person)
jurupa replied to registered's topic in Dating Advice
registered I know I am a bit late in giving advise, but like you I am also a introvert, not as much as you are tho. I have to find it again, but there was an article on how to "take care of" introverted kids. In it, it said that introverted people tend to need a lot of alone time to recover from social suitations/events. This is most probably part of the reasons why you have no friends. I just have one friend. There where some other things in the article that I can't remember, but once find it and post it, you will see a lot of the reasons why you act and do certain things that you view as normal, but extroverted people do not. But you should do some research on introverted personality becuase it will help you a lot, trust me. From my own exprenice most of the rules of dating/relationships/flirting are different for introverts becuase we think much different and view things much different than extroverts. By the way here are the article: And some more articles: I know the articles are aimed for kids, but they have a fair amount of info on soical suitations which may be helpfull, even if it comes from a kid level. -
And why do females do the same thing? Both sexes (sp?) will flirt when they are in a relationship just to see if they still have it, or to see how far they can go, or just to full fill their egos (yes girls do have them, but in a modified form) For example yesterday there was this girl that was tall and good looking I just glace at her as I walk past her and saw that she was walking toward her boyfriend. Later on when I was talk to a couple of guys I caught her checking me out infront of the boyfriend.
-
To a point you are right actually, and I forgot about that aswell. But like girls who like to move up in social status, us guys will go after girls that are "above our level" for almost the same reasons. A lot of guys go for girls that are at our "level" becuase it is safer for us to as getting rejection is at a lower precentage than a girl that is above our "level". I know you didn't say that it made sense, I just didn't get the logic thats all, but I get it now. Also us guys do also go down a "level" as well. Heres a perfect example. My moms firend has a sister whos brother (I tried to make that easy to read lol) is drop dead grogeous. He does modeling and from what I been told he can get any girl he wants. He used to date models until he met this girl that wasn't one nor was she even close to one, but from what I am told she is beautiful tho. I believe he is currently dating her, but she is shock that he went for her and not for some model. Dako - I go for girls that are 5'5" and taller, but if I see a girl in the 6'0"s I will go after her first, but that doesn't mean I block out the shorter girls tho.