jurupa

Ok I didn't know that you ask questions about each other and leard about each other lifes. That makes a difference. If your interested in a guy it is almost needed to have some physical contact there, becuase it shows your confortable enough with the guy to come into his personal space while at the same time inviting him into yours. I am not saying you need to be all over the guy. I have had various girls touch me when they bearly know me and without being all over me. They usually grab or just touch my arm. I can see with hockey gear it would make such things difficult, but get creative then. Your welcome.

Looks are deciving, trust me on this one. I had girls that looks and actted interested and where not at all, besides being friends. To answer your question you snag another friend, not a boyfriend. Spilling out your life story when you first meet a guy is usually a turn off for most guys and will view you as a friend and no more. This was a major mistake on your part. Well I geuss the first word for this pargraph gave you your answer to your question in the last one lol. You never had him playing bait and your hook was in the water with bait so he "swam" right past the hook. Like I said before you and him spilled out your life storys on the first meeting, which was a bad move. Unless he pushes you to tell your life story, then stay far away from it as possible and talk about other things. Its fine to birng up a story from your past into the coverstaion, but anything more is really a turn off. Tell your life story when you get two know the guy a lot better, that way he will be more attracted to you and will be ready to hear it. As far as showing that your interested in a guy what do you do to show that your interested? Do you give physical contact like touching his arm, playfully punching him etc? Do you ask questions about him? Do you see where I am going with this? Well since you bolded a question you seem most interested in getting the answer in I will answer that one. If you for some reason you can not bring your self around to ask for the guys number, try and encorage the guy to ask for your number, ie lead the guy on to it thru converstation. Or if you are actually interested in the guy ask the guy out. Ask the guy if he would like to go out for lunch or something like that sometime. If he says yes then ask for his number and while you are at it give him yours. As far as what your missing, just read along. Becuase you have learned how to do it with ease, but the other skills in getting a guy as a boyfriend have gone by the wayside. Guys like the attention from girls that are willing to flirt, but if there is nothing else there, then they split. The next time you are talking to a guy your interested in, show that there is more to you than just the fliritng, becuase I bet that your filirting is covering up what you have to offer to guys, and most guys can not see past the filirting your doing so they end up putting you in the friend zone. Also always remember with guys it is usually best to be direct with us, as it will make things a lot eaiser on both sides.

I agree running your own business can be a good thing, But the oringal poster said that she needs to and wants to help pay for her college education. That alone will suck up a lot of her money that she makes from working. So money is already an issuse and you tend to need money to run a business. Yes you do learn new skills and possibly improve on ones you already have, but running a business is not for everyone tho and it is up to the oirngal poster to decided that. I am also aware that you can make good money from running your own business, but unlike a wage/salary job it could be weeks or months before you can see any money coming in or having money you could take out of the business for personal use. But yet I am taking a risk with my own money and so far it has been working out actually. I have my own ROTH (It is very much like a 401k, I don't what it would be called in Great Britain tho) and in roughly 2 years I have made $2,000 (£1094.63) from it. And the money that is in there is 100% mine as put in my own money into it. And far as taking more risk with my money I may open up my own business in the near future. But unlike the oringal poster I have a lot more money to use for such a thing. I am not totally sure what you mean by "a small out lay", but I think you mean running a business tho. If so yes this is true, but in my view learning skills for life are learned every where, and you can not just learn them in one enivorment. The reason I told the oringal poster not to take risks, is becuase of her suitation does not allow for such things at least in my mind. And I agree with you 100% on us just expressing our views.

Do not start your own business as you do not have enough money nor the means to run one. Plus if you go bankrupt you will be worse off that you where, a lot worse. Seondly put the money into a savings account and let it stay there as long as possible. Only pull out money for things you must pay for, like college, food, clothes, etc. And to make sure you do not waste your money, shop around for the cheapest price on what you need. Only buy wants that do not cost that much and you can fit it in your budget. Also when you are shopping for something, decided if it is a need or a want, becuase I bet you will find out that you have a lot of wants, but a few needs and spending money on just the needs alone will save you money down the road to buy the wants you want later on. Third budget budget budget. Manage your money to the very penny while you spend it and earn it. This means checking your pay checks to make sure you are getting the correct amount and check recits to make sure you paid the correct price for something. I know this may seem "extreme", but this is close to what I do with my money. This is close to what I do with my money.

lol I am far from famous trust me. Lets put it this way how many 22 year old guys do you know make kids that are complete strangers feel confontable enough to say hi to or approach and sit next to. For example this past Saturday I was drag by my mom (she has a habbit of doing this lol) to help out at this event that was runned by a non profit group I voulenteer for. I had to go and get a bucket of water and there was this little girl playing and her mom watching her. As I was walking by with the bucket of water the little girl says hi to me. I said hi back and smiled. The little girl started to giggle some and said hi again with the same thing happening. Now tell me if that is unsual for a 22 year old guy. The girl was around 4 or so. I know a lot of guys say that they are good with kids, but how many do you know that have things like I said happen to them.

Yes and everyone is. But there is unique and being unique.

lol. Lets put it this way I consider my self different than most guys out there, and I most mean this in a good way.

This close to who I am which is actually scary. There are a couple things not totally a perfect match, but they are close tho. I love love love love to debate. It is one of my favoirte things to do. It doesn't matter what the topic is. The same goes for me when I see a redhead girl with clean skin. It drives me crazy. As far as your dark hair blue eye thing, would semi dark brown hair with sky blue eyes with a mix of grey and green work? I had a couple of girls tell me that I have good looking eyes, and another girl said that my eyes where sexy. YEA!!!!! A girl in the L.A area that does not go for the Brad Pitts around here! But your first sentence seems to go against me tho. But I am no Brad Pitt and consider my self average looking, but I seem to be good looking enough to see very attractive girls giving me a couple of looks tho. But this can be due to the fact to who I am.

It is interesting that a lot of the same things are poping up from various people and what is even more interesting is how manythings are turn off's for both sides.

Lets see: - Self Centered - Wants attention - Wants everything given to her - Looks like a doll than a human - Has fake body parts (The only exception is for medical reasons) - Has attidute - Is into money and is materialistic - Uses people (I am more referring this on a constant bases) - Low intellegence - Her favorite hobby is shopping - Is a party girl - Dependant - Conforms to society standards - Thinks she is all that - Plays way to many games (A few is fine becuase you have to see if there is interest and at least some connection) I think thats is. I know I may seem picky, but I am really not. Its just that where I live there are a lot of girls that fit into what I listed that is a turn off to me, and it is mostly the girls that come from rich families where daddy gives them anything they ask for and they expect guys they meet to do the same. I know not every girl is like that, but a lot of them are unfortantly.

You can always ask out a girl out and have her teach you how to dance. Most girls would love to do such a thing. Plus the two of you get to touch each other a lot so you get to flirt a ton while you learn how to dance.

New Horizons - Question, are you approach girls out of the blue? Becuase doing so will make most single girls clam up and act "rude" and what have you. But what they are really doing is putting up their defensves to protect them selfs from the unknown. Besides this there are loads of reason why girls are acting the way they are around you. It could be the way you approach them. Your personality. The girl mood, etc. The list is endlist. Kellbell - I have seen the same type of high maintance girls that are dress to perfect that you talk about all the time. If I can I try and watch guys try and get the girl(s) attention and if they have the guts, approach them only to get rejected. Its funny to watch this go on becuase so many guys never learn, and very few know how to go about with such girls. I don't even pay attention to such girls becuase they typically only want a guy for his money and want him to worship her to no end and meet her every desire.

Actually it has very little effect on guys and in some cases it is a good thing as there are guys out there that do not want an exroverted girl friend. I never said that you where one. I am just giving my view and adivse from a different side and trying to show you the other side of the picture becuase most people do not see the other side that well. But when they see it and understand it they see how their own actions and apperance effects the other side. Now that you given me some more info (which proved to be helpfull to a point) it is easier to see where the problem may lie. You said that you dress EXTREMELY well and you wear high end clothes. I don't know where you live, but if you live in a non rich area or not but this creates a couple of problems and may be in fact why no guys are apporaching you. No it is not becuase you drink and smoke. I never did in high school and when I looked back on it I saw how many girls where actually interested in me, but I never did anything about it as I never saw the signs. The thing I am wondering about is do you live in a rich neighborhood and go to a high school with other teens from rich households, becuase this effects what adivise I give you. The high school I went to was basically middle class, but you had teens from rich house holds and ones from poor ones as well. Some of the girls at the high school I went to that came from rich house holds tend to wear your type of clothes (ie the high end stuff). A lot of the guys and I tend to view these girls as high maintance and/or very spoiled and for the most part most guys stayed away from them. You may be having the same suitation and if so, the only way to make it better is to dress down. You may not want to, but in high school wearing such clothes tends to be a bad thing in high school unless you go to a high school with teens that come from rich house holds. I am not trying to say that your spoiled becuase quiet frankly as far as I know you may have a job where you are paid enough money to buy the clothes you want to wear. It is hard to get such job in high school, but it is possible with the right connections tho. But if you do go to a high school that has teens from rich house holds, then it is something else. It can be anything from the type of guys at your school to you not showing any interest in any guy at all (shyness can be viewed in many ways and mostly miss read as shyness). If it is this case then do your best to flirt with guys you are interested in becuase unless you show interest and do as much flirting as you can guys will walk past you for the most part becuase they are reading different things. Also you seemed to miss my point on showing off negativity. I know you said that you are shy, I was shy in high school as well. But I have basically grown out of it. But in high school I usually presented positive body language and other people where drawn to it and like I mention before girls where showing signs of interest becuase I was confident in my self and showing positive body langauge.

Living in the L.A suburbs I have to agree with you. This is part of the reason why I stay away from such girls. I also stay away from them because they usually want a guy for his money so it becomes a trade off. If the guy wants the "hot" girl he must "pay" for it. So instead I go for the "other" girl that is not skinny to the point of breaking and has some fat on her, just like what ahs483 describe her self as. ahs483 - I highly doubt that it is your body becuase from what you post I would ask you out if you where interested. Quiet frankly I think becuase of your body langauge and attitdute that you display you are turninng guys away. Guys tend to not want to date nor even flirt with girls that desiplay negativity, is is unattractive peroid. Also another reason why you get no attention from guys is it may be the clothes you wear. I know you said that you have some fat on you, but you also have boobs and a butt. I know I am about to go into dangerous land here so I am going to step carefully. Most girls do not wear cloths that fit them at all. They either wear cloths that are to big, don't fit their body, or to tight. I bet if you wear cloths that covers up your fat without it being displayed to much (ie its not hanging over your pants) while showing that you have assets that guys love at the time while not showing off to much, but just enough to make a guy look, I bet you will see guys looking at you and wanting your attention non stop. Take me for example, I know I am a guy but I think my suitation will help. When I finished high school I use to wear t-shirts one size to big for me, mostly becuase I was use to getting that size and never thought anything off it. When I enter college I notice that limited success flirting with girls becuase of the t-shirts I was wearing where not making me physcial attractive. When I went down a size to a t-shirt that was more fitting to my body, I saw girls checking me out and I had an easier time getting attention from girls. The t-shirts that I wear are fitting on the top and are loose fitting as they go down my body. Another thing I also notice that if I diplayed posivtive body langauge and attitdute and confindence I got more attention from girls. I know I ain't no knock out, and only consider my self average looking (this may be changing due to the things I have seen from girls for the past 8 months at my old job), but the way you display your self matters a lot when it comes to attracting the other sex.

Tell me about it. Also you forgot the 6" And yes it does matter that the 6" is there

I like that rule a lot, but I doubt I would ever have a girl worry about such a rule as most girls are not above 6'3" so if they do wear tall heels I am still taller than them (I am 6'6").

Hello So I believe we have the following here: 1. Guy is interested and making moves on you 2. You are little bit interested to interested in this guy (I will get to this latter) 3. You want to know how to show interest in the guy with out looking desprate. 4. You also want to kill your bad habbit. Correcy me if I am worng, but I believe this your list. Lets go to the questions. Ask the guy questions about him and show that you want to get to know the guy. But don't make it like an interview and grill the guy. I would say ask no more than 5 personal questions. That way he should get the hint that your interested, but you also help kill your bad habbit. Next thing is to listen to the guy and not take over the converstation for too long. You can also touch or hit (playfully) the guy. You have to give some or else the guy will loose interest. This basically means you have to make some moves. Visting him at his work will be ok as he visted you already. Basically it is the same as if you got invited by your friends to their house for dinner and it is your turn to invite them for dinner. If your number is in the directory then you can't do anything about it, if it is not then its best to take a no pressure route. This means you make it in furture tense and you leave a way for the guy to back out if he wants to. When you see the guy again you can ask him if he found your number in the directory, if he didn't then give to him saying for him to give you call sometime. Learning is a non-stop process, just becuase the questions where on a basic level your intent and want to learn makes the difference. Now I think there is another reason that may be having an effect here. remember the second item on the list I made ealier? If not it is this one: "2. You are little bit interested to interested in this guy" The reason I listed it is becuase in your first paragraph you said that your little bit interested in the guy and the a paragraph later you said that your interested in him. The way I read it seems that you may be more interested in the guy that you think. Combine this with your bad habbits your knowledge of things that your asking is being confused and distorted. And if your wondering why I said that you may be more interested in the guy than you think, it was on the type of questions you ask and how you asked them. For example when you ask if you should vist the guy at his work. If you had lower interest you would not have epxress possible interest in visting him at his work as you see that he is making moves and you don't want to loose the guy, while not hurt your self with your bad habbits. Also I do hope you know that you can't just kill your habbits just like that. It takes time to kill them.

I am not trying to bad mouth other peoples advise, but in my view point you don't need to buy some book or see some speciallist to manage your money. I learned how to manage my money from my parents and from others. There are loads of things that you can do that save you money while getting what you want or should not get. For starters don't buy things that you do not truly need. For example going to Starbucks and buying a drink from them every day. Next cook meals and not go out for dinner and if possible make your own lunch and bring it to work. You will see how much money you be saving per week from doing such things. Teach your self to say "no". I know you have said saying no to your self is hard, but you gota or you will never have the money to buy a house. You say that your not materalistic, but there is a problem causing this spending spree. As far as figureing out on what you need for food/gas/fun, it is quite simple and easy. Look at how much you spend on such things and then round it to the nearist hurnded. For example let say your weekly expenses where $688 (I made it high as you said you spend a lot). So you know that to pay for food/gas/fun you need $700 to cover it. So when you get your pay check you and your husband put aside $700 for food/gas/fun. You make that your spending limit. The next thing to do is cut it down as much as possible. Instead of getting that dam good spa treament every weekend, you do it once a month. Lets say it coast you $70 for it (I am just making numbers here lol). So your monthly expenses went from $2,800 (700 per week times 4 as there are 4 weeks per month) to $2,590 (3 weeks your expenses was 630 while one was 700). You just saved $210 just by going to the spa onces a month. Things like that save you loads of money down the road. To save big amounts of money you need to do these type of things a lot and for a long time. It will not be easy and with extra money I bet you will be tempted to spend it, but that is where the "no" comes in. Lets put some reality into this. If you don't save now you may not be able to get a house and if you do get one with your current suitation you can't aford one kid. I am not trying to be rude or anything, just giving you reality as that is what you seem to need. Heck it seems a lot of people in America need it as there are loads of people in debt. I am just happy I am not one of them. And no I am not a financial consultant, I just read tips and news from the finanical world. You get better content and knowledge than you do from books as they tend to get out dated semi quickly.

Uh wheres the list becuase I have a better chance of running into a girl that has a boy friend or is married than a single one. I call it my curse becuase no matter what I do I either run into girls that are taken or they are not interested. I am not saying there are not out there, but I seem to not be able to find them.

There are some men that do see girls that way and I am sure there are girls that see men as Ken so its not really one sided. But quite frankly if you don't dress like barbie then less guys will see you like her.

I don't mean to insult you or your mom, but it is things like this that makes teens want to have sex becuase they are curious about it and their parents are not there to talk to them about it as they don't want to. I am not saying your going to have sex with the first guy you run into, but you have shown that you are curious about it and want to learn about it from some you trust, which seems reasonable from my view point. Heck I didn't even have to ask my parents about sex, they straight up ask me if I wanted to learn anything about it. I did ask a couple questions, but thats it as the rest I learn in school. But your mom is going a little overboard, but is being a mother tho. She doesn't want you to go nor grow up, nor leave her. I bet you if you ask your mom if she stills sees you as her baby and doesn't want you to grow up. I know my mom has said these things to me many times and I am a guy. As far as your male friends go, can't you invite them over when your mom is around to show them that they are good guys and are not going to do anything bad to you? Or is she going to flip on you? For some reason I think she will.

I seemed to have gotten my self in two bit of a mess and one that I am not use to and don't know much about such suitations. To get to the point I miss two times in asking this girl out, today being number two and striked out big time as she made her self available and the idot I am I didn't approach. Apart of the reason is that she seemed to take time in looking good today why I have no idea, but it certainly got my attention to say the least. And this made me shy and nervous which basically made me my old self again somewhat so that didn't help things. Yes I use to be the shy person that never flierted with girls, but I have grown out of it tho. But today it came back.](*,) So my question is is there a chance that this girl will give me another chance or drop it as the store she works at will be leaving some time in July. Now the part that she does not know nor any of her co-workers is that next monday I am putting in my two week notice in so I can go back to college. So time is not on my side. I know I could try and make "aggressive" moves, but that is not really my thing and she spends most of the time in the store and the manager doesn't really allow me in there, why I have no idea but I think the fact that the store is a female clothing store may have something to do with it tho.

6'0" is short to me, but I am 6'6". I lost conut on how many times girls say that I am tall. A lot of girls give me looks becuase of my height and it doubles big time when I am with my friend whos 6'5" and built. It is funny to see girls check me and my friend out and the shorter guys look at us becuase we are getting more attention from the girls than them and doing less work then them. charley - I just I am a mean guy then becuase I do make fun of girls heights from time to time. But I do it in a joking way and they usually hit me playfully, or insult me playfully, or get mad at me but they know I am playing around. But I think it more has to do with my personality and how I go about it that makes it so that the girls are not really insulted by it.

For me being macho is just throwing around and boast my ego really. I think a good example of being macho is when tim Allen from Home Inprovement (I know old show), does that barking nosie and grunts. To me that is being macho.

I know that they are out there, but I seem to not run into them. Even when I was in college (and I am going back for my degree, long story) I was running into woman that couldn't keep up with me. CarnelianButterfly - From reading your posts the reason why you may be scaring guys off is that you may be showing off in the wrong way. I understand that you go to a college that has math, engineering, etc majors so you would think the theories you mentiened would be easy topics to use in a converstation with guys, but as you say guys don't see it like that. I understand that you have some condition, so it only makes things worse. I think what you may want to do its not talk about your two favorite topics, even tho you are highly interested in them, unless it deals with or related with the current topic of conversation. Plus most people don't want to talk about such topics in social settings anyway so it becomes a turn off to them. I briefly read the describtion of the Stable Manifold Theorem, and it seems to deal with space and engery of the space. But one thing it seem to not to mention nor deal with was time. Unless I missed it, it seemed to be the miss part of the describtion. And yes I am aware that there are places in outer space where there is no such thing as time as nothing moves there for time does not exist. But for the theorem to hold true it needs time to be in the equation. And yes I do understand that is a theory that can be proven false, which I do not have the knowledge to do as I am not an engineerign major and my knowledge of such topics is limited, but I do learn fast tho. And I am sure my butt will most probably get handed to by a girl, but what the hell.