JonnyG

Maybe im reading this wrong but it sounds like u treated her pretty poorly and yet your expecting her to apologise to u???? U mention u had the upper hand and threatened to break up with her a couple of times and made her cry. Why did u threaten to break up??? Chatting to 3/4 exs while meant to be seeing another girl full time? Sounds a fair amount of exs to be chatting to all at once, especially as u mentioned that u werent sure if u wanted to settle down with this lady. Then near the end of the relationship u mention u treated her worse and back talked her. Getting drunk and purposly trying to make her jealous when things are already bad. Eek, some bad things going on here. Do me a favour. As a guy who always seems to treat girls nice and not really getting anywhere, and u seem to be an example of a guy who doesnt seem to treat girls so nicely (at least before) and have managed to still keep this girl 6 months or so (but at least now u now seem to have seen your wrongs) if she does get back with u, appreciate her. Good luck lad.

Out of curiosity, can I ask how old u are?

Cant say it much better than that.

Think thats a very good point Spawn. Going on my example with M, I actually was really angry, but I didnt have a go at her because I thought "If I have a go at her and cause an argument, then that might very well be it for us". I am very attracted to her and didnt want this argument as I feared it could very well possibly call the end of the relationship. Incredibly annoying cause I feel I havent done anything wrong and its me who should be angry and me getting the apology. Of course, the cycle then continues as u said. With K when I snapped it was because the situation was different. She is already with someone and perhaps its a serious relationship. Not only that but the fact is that its been like 8 weeks and she just seems only interested when shes interested and my thoughts dont apply at all. I guess I was very annoyed at her comment and I thought this time "Heh, this might end it, but nothing is happening much anyway, I've tried being nice and not getting anywhere, now lets just show her that Im not going to be a total mug and even if she dont want to speak to me again, at least I got the anger out". I honestly felt quite good and definitely relieved when I had a go at her. She half seemed to end up apologising, not properly though. But As i said, once again the nice/mug side of me came out and checked on her like the day or 2 after to see if she was ok. And of course, despite half speaking, tried to initiate a phonecall/another meeting but shes ignored the tx. Again, only on her terms itll all be.

Yes Caldus. When Im seeing someone my confidence goes up. Unfortunately its down after the recent situation with M, G and K. And further down from any girl who recently looked at me like the stuff the dog left on the floor when I approached them on a nightout (which doesnt happen too much because Im quite picky and I usual wait for hints rather than take my chances and rack up a large "rejection" list ) Which brings me to CharLits post before where I didnt really answer back. "despite what a nice guy you are, you display a pretty negative attitude to women in your post (need make-up & corsets to make them look good, think they're too good for everyone etc.). I realise this attitude has come from your past experiences, but are you sure it doesn't show in any way? It's amazing what people can pick up on... Also, again, are you not going for the wrong women if this is what you think they're like? I don't associate with anyone like this, and I have a huge circle of female friends - and they can't be the only nice ones in the world unless my hometown is some kind of vortex that sucks in all the nice people. Maybe you should move here" Sorry, again I want to emphasis, I dont want to put all girls in the same boat, that I know is rubbish. My point was that in todays society with all the things woman have to enchance their beauty I feel they then abuse it. Its amazing just how rude some girls can be to some guys when u pluck up the courage to chat to them. Luckily, I havent felt too much of the wraith because ill tend to not test my luck and will wait til I see someone I like and then wait for them to give hints. But sometimes Ill try my luck and approach a girl and if im to be rejected ill be lucky if I get a small 2 min conversation followed by "I got to go, have a good night". Which is nice and they way I think some girl should reject a guy. Being not a bad looker I have had girls come up to me and if im not interested ill engage in a small conversation bascially asking how their nights going etc and then as like the above tell them I have to go and tell them to enjoy the night. Its quite obvious what your hinting at i.e. your not interested, but at the same time its like a gentle let down. Unfortunately its not usually like this with girls. Usuallly its a case of the girl blanks u and pretends u didnt say "hi", or they say "hi" then just look away obviously showing they dont want to talk to u. Just a bit insulting really. "Let me get a tissue out and wipe off all your make up.......there u go, no one will bother u again" (sorry, small joke) I am all happy for a lady to wear make up, tanning products, wonder bra etc. if it makes them feel better, but not if its going to come with a bad attitude. The attitude of "I was a 6/10 but after the 2 hours of getting ready im now a 9/10 and im gonna reject the male 6s,7s,8s cause im now so superior wheres the alpha male?" I think you get my point? A lot of guys don't expect a girl to be interested when they go up, but we dont like the attitude either, its simple to reject someone without making them feel awful. Anyway, getting off topic a bit here, just wanted to try clear the point up a little but almost starting another thread. And "no", girls do not need make up etc to look attractive before u start thinking im calling all girls ugly if they dont have make up on. EDIT: Im not that bright CharLit unfortunately, intelligence is not my forte (however its spelt, u see, i am stupid

I wasent offended by anything u said CharLit, your reply was great. Spawn, I think the problem for me is that I don't stand up for myself with some women, I dont speak my mind. Like i said, I dont let women walk over me. I let them trample over me. I was actually proud and relieved when I actually let it out against K when she wound me up and told her what I thought. Last summer when I was seeing M, one of the things I dont like about her is how much she brings up past bfs. She would tell me about how good looking some of them were, or their great bodies. There was 1 person she told me about who she said was so good looking she said she could stare at him all day (she never stares at me all day so i assume in her opinion he's better looking). Another she told me had a body with made her mouth drop (her mouth never dropped with me so i assume in her opinion his body was better). Obviously I dont expect to be literally stared at all day or make her mouth drop, but u get my point. The fact was that I was being told to my face this info and i didnt want to hear it. Then one night I was out without her and she asked the next day if there were any good looking girls out? I jokingly said that there was this one girl out who was nearly as hot as her. She then proceeded to tell me she didnt need to know this and I was "tacless"! O M G! She tells me continously about her bfs who were good looking or amazing bodies i.e. least as good looking as me and body as nice as mine if not more, and yet when I mention 1 girl that was "nearly" as hot as her, she complains. I was very angry at how hippocritical it was and couldnt believe why she was so hostile about it all. But did I complain back???? No, of course not, I was angry and felt I had done nothing wrong and I deserved to be complaining at her, not the other way round. Instead I just ended up apologising . Stupid I definitely need to work on my confidence/self esteem etc. I know M does have feelings for me and finds me attractive but at the same time I think shes fully aware she can click her fingers and ill come running. I think K thinks like this as well. And unfortunately with the way I am these days when I am with a girl I like itll be the same probably with any of them. Where's my pride gone? Lost confidence/self/esteem/pride, need to find them again. Then I really need to stop taking things so seriously. I know deep down that im am quite a good looker, and i know my physique is quite good. I know that im in general a nice (almost dont want to use this word) guy. I may not be the most intelligent guy, but I think im a good catch, and friends agree. I dont know how i've ended up becoming so pathetic these days.

Thx for the reply CharLit. to answer your points: 1) I already admit I've bumped in the wrong people, i.e. older. Its a pity I prefer them. Although of course the problem then is that im too young for anything more than fun. I found younger girls, as i stated, difficult to get anywhere with. 2) Sorry, as i also stated, I don't want to categorise all girls. Although in the thread its probably come accross like this. I find many younger girls very "up themselves" so to speak. Probably again, why i do better with older girls is because theyn dont act so much like this. I am not a "women hater" despite the thread, The most frustrating thing about women is as much as they annoy me, u love them . 3) Yep, I agree, think im in denile and im doing the same thing going back to M who doesnt treat me great. So im being hippocritical here. but its not helped by the fact that I find it difficult to find people. If I knew there was girl after girl waiting it wouldnt be as hard to forget about people u like. 4) No, I dont blame G at all. She has been the best girl I've met, she was pretty much perfect and i understand why she thinks its not good to go out. Thankfully she did reply as i said (I would of been surprised and hurt had she not as wouldnt expect it from her) and we talked about it and she decided not a good time to meet as im still upset so thats fair enough. As for K. I admit, im an idiot (to put it politely). Think desperation is starting to happen in me. 5) Im glad u have someone who treats u right and u appreciate it, hope things continue for u. Yes, im need to work on my confidence/self esteem. Think its gotten dragged to an all time low unfortunately. Its sad when i look at myself and i see quite a good looking guy, with quite a good body, and im in general just a nice guy, think im a good catch, yet im not happy. And i feel guilty im not happy when there's others out there with real problems. Thx again for the reply.

In a way. Have a lot to get off my chest.

I've had enough! This nice guy approach simply does not work. I've posted a thread like this before and was told by girls to keep on at it and dont become an ***hole. But that was over a year ago and the results are just not happening. To sum up the last thread and my new pathetic year. Throughout my life I have witnessed the bad boys with girls and the good guys lagging behind. Since school. The most popular guy was hated by the girls. When he wasen't in the room they were all saying how much of an arrogant *** he was etc. Really backstabbing him. But all of them went out with him if he asked them out. My older brother told me the exact same thing happened with him in his year, the guy treated them real bad yet they all kept going out with him when he clicked his fingers. Another friend of mine was seeing 2 girls nearly at the same time. Both girls were best friends but he would go out with 1, then the other, then back to the first. He did this 3 times with each of them, before he couldn't be bothered to be with either of them. The thing is, as much as he is a friend, the fact is he wasen't a great looker, and obviously going back and forth between them without a care in the world, he wasent the nicest of guys to them. But yet they both went out with him like 3 times each. Another friend of mine treats woman awful. He will go out with a girl, then forget about them whenever he feels like it. He will go off looking for another girl even though the girl he is ment to be seeing doesnt even know they have split up. Doesn't seem to care a dam about them, yet he does well with the women. And were not talking about innocent girls who don't know what hes like. These girls know each other and must surely say to each other that he treats them awful. Thats some examples of old school friends (Although the last paragraph was about a friend who i believe still acts like this to this day). Altho they are friends, I can't agree with how they treat girls. So much for girls being more mature than guys at this age as well. Now more present times. A friend of mine has a friend who has cheated on his girl 3 times (at least). He admitted to her once and yet she is still with him, even tho he treats her really bad. But shes still with him. I have a flatm8 who pretty much will have sex with anything female that moves. And even when he is in a relationship he will try to pull/sleep with other girls if his gf isnt there. And when hes with her the main reason he wants her around is for sex and thats it. If shes lucky he will take her to an "All u can eat" restaurants and "Bring your own alcohol" Indians (wow, pushing the boat out there). 1 gf he was seeing he asked her to bring along vodka in her purse each time they went out so he could just buy the lemonade. Hes been working years but is so tight fisted its untrue. For Christmas with one of his ex's she bought him loads of nice/expensive gifts that were useful for HIM. He bought her a nurse outfit (for his sexual pleasure), a tight Morgan t-shirt (for his sexual pleasure) and sexy underwear (for his sexual pleasure). He didnt buy her anything that was specifically for her. And no, its not his ex because she dumped him. He dumped her.....3 times (obviously needed sex sometimes so went back out with her when on a draught phase and threw her away when he didnt need her). He is now seeing another girl and again sleeping with other girls behind her back. He happily admits to being a "*******" and treatng girls badly. My other flatm8 i have discussed these problems with said that of all his gf's the one he treated the worst seemed the most keen on him. I discussed these problems with some girl i know online and she said girls like being treated mean, but not too mean. Its just plain stupid!!!!! ******************* I like girls and as the saying goes "Treat others how you would like to be treated". So I treat the girls I fancy nice, because I want to make them happy.This makes sense! My younger brother went out with a girl for nearly 2 years and got on well with her. Then 1 day she just decided he was "boring" and then went off and slept with like 4 ppl in 2 weeks and then decided she really wanted him back. He didnt go back to her. He was pretty messed up for a good load of months. His last gf things were going fine but she then started to constantly start arguments about the smallest of things and she was so stubborn that my brother said he gav up arguing back cause she would just shout him down. It got too much for him and he decided it was not best to see her anymore. She spent the next 6 months trying to get him back. The only thing he did with these 2 girls was to treat them nicely only for them to just throw it back in his face. Amazingly the flatm8 I described above who treats his gfs badly actually found one girl he really liked, so he actually treated her nicely. Its hilarious, she left him after a couple of weeks. * * *!!!! (Go on Mark, go back to treated them badly, its the way forward, im starting to learn this now) For myself. Well, in the younger days I was never so keen with girls, but any i spent time with I treated nice but nothing really came from it. Nowadays, unfortunately I have the problem of liking older women, so things are harder. Ill try sum things up quick: I met M (about 8 years older, divorced and has a child) 2 years ago or so. We went out for 6 weeks. Treated her like a princess, we got on really quite well, things seemed to be getting better and better. Then her ex (not the father) wanted her back, as they were apprantly on a temperory break as things were getting serious and he was younger than her and needed to think. She wasent sure if they would be getting back together and so took an interest in me. As I had only been with her for 6 weeks and him around 10 months it was "bye bye" to me. Last year, out of the blue M tx me. It had been 9 months since i heard from her and 14 months or so since i last saw her. We ended up meeting up and going out again. She told me she had been single for 6 months and things obviously didnt work out with the last guy and she said she should not have split with myself. Yep. I was over the moon again. This time we just seemed to click better. We met up more and we tx/phoned more. Things were really well. Roll on 6 weeks and it all falls apart again. She said that she couldnt be dealing with a serious relationship and she needed to find someone older and financial better off than myself. I was gutted again. But at least this time It didnt feel so bad as I could understand why she should be wanting an older guy and someone who can look after her and her daughter. *** A little info on her past bfs: The funny thing about M is that her past seems full of bad boys. Her ex husband sounds a nightmare, a real lonney. She had a bf who cheated on her (least once because she caught him at it), a bf who was a full time druggie, a bf who took her to a swingers party when she didnt have a clue (hhmm i wonder if he cheated on her also), a bf who was so obesssed with himself he didnt care about her at all. And the recent guy who she saw before me apparently started to treat her and her daugther really badly for sometime and eventually she gave up with him. And what hurts the most is despite all these guys letting her down big time, I think I spent less time with her on both occasions (perhaps even put together) than these jerks did with her. ******** Since that split with M in the summer we have kept in touch by tx and we get on fine. I still miss her. She comes out of her shell when she's had a few to drink and tells me she misses me and wishes i was there with her, but typically enough ive never been able to meet when this has happened. This would of been my chance to meet her and show her what shes missing (Im so pathetic I know, i should just move on, havent I lerned from the first 2 times?). At work, there was this girl who I liked, not the best looking to a lot of people but she looked nice to me, and she was a nice girl. I told people about this and everyone was like "u could do so much better", but that really isnt the point, i liked her. Unfortunately she had a bf. But just before she left the company we discovered she was no longer with this guy, and with her leaving do coming up, i thought that was the time to say something. O well, this got messed up when I arrived to discover that she is chatting to the one guy in the office she had told everyone "would be the last guy I would go out with". The reason for this. He's an arrogant jerk. I never thought he was that bad but every1 else thought he was a tool. This girl apparently didnt like him because she was with everyone else i.e. in agreement thats hes a jerk, but wow, she is now going out with him. I met another girl in november. This lady (G) was pretty much perfect. Stunning looks. A heart of gold. My only complaint was that she was a smoker, and of course the small matter of her age. She is 35. So over 10 years older than myself. Over the weeks I saw G I just found her more and more attractive and at last found that there were others out there who i could REALLY like. I spent 2 months with her. Had a great time. She is the best girl I have ever spent time with in all honesty. Again treated her real well. She treated me real well at least, But after those 2 months it came to the crunch. I was thinking no matter how much i like her, she really is old and this was playing on my mind. She was thinking the same. She was thinking how she wanted to marry again and have children and at 35 she hadent all the time in the world for the latter. She decided in January just before my Birthday that it was not best to continue. I was gutted. Roll on to February. Im out and i tx her M. We chat away a bit and she tells me where she is. I thought that this was my opportunity to do something at last as I have unfortunately missed out on the other chances of seeing her out and actually being able to chat to her in person. I meet up with her and discover that she now has a bf. Literally just a couple of weeks ago she got together with this guy. Its been a total of like 6 months that i havent been going out with her. But we have kept in contact and of course amazingly everytime I had the chance to meet up, perhaps change her mind and give it another chance i have some how never rec the tx at a good time. I just cant believe it that now im single again and a night comes where I thought I had the chance to perhaps change her mind, she now has a bf. The timing couldnt have been better. I was still obviously upset after G, and now the other girl in my life is seeing someone else after 6 months of been single and always looking like there was a hope (sorry, i know how pathetic it must all sound). I miss M & G loads. M is with someone now and really doesnt give two ***** about me now. I've been in denile with her, its obvious that she only wants me to boost her ego. Spent 6 weeks with me and dropped me. Spent 6 weeks again with me the year after and dropped me. Spent 6 months txing me and always looking like a chance but whenever i tried to hint at going out again she didnt play along unless she had a few to drink and would tell me she missed me. I guess I feel she likes me but simply the age gap is just a real problem. But it hurts that now she has this new guy I have been dropped yet again as im not needed. I've just been left dangiling on a line ready for her to reel in when she feels like and now she is with this other guy she hasent sent a tx in 2 months. Hell, i can accept she has some1, it just hurts just showing how obvious i was there as the ego boost only. It came to last weekend, I woke up hungover and depressed as usual. G always told me to say what i feel and be honest etc. So I did exactly that. My head says its stupid but my heart says I miss her (cheesy I know). Have been since January. So I tx her to tell her. To my surprise she responded and told me she was ok and going on hols with some guy she used to be with at work but she coudnt see a future with him. She asked if i fancied meeting up on friday (Today) and i said ok.......after work last night I tx to ask if she still wanted to meet? I had no reply. I waited til night, a good 5 hours later but nothing. Possibly didnt go through so i asked again incase. It now 3pm (I wrote this part yesterday) and I have no reply and were meant to meet today. Shes just blanked me. Her idea to meet and she has just blanked me. Of all the girls in my life she is the nicest, most down to earth girl, she is great. I cannot believe of all the people to not reply its her. Shes always honest and thoughtful. That really hurts. O well. I've started my bad boy phase anyway, got a lot to learn. but I did meet a lady K 8 weeks ago. I discovered after meeting her that she is with someone. Im not sure if its on the rocks, but the now little devil to the right side of my head tells me "who cares anymore!". O well, its not really working anyway, I mean, spent the last 8 weeks complimenting her and trying to intiate things as she said she wanted to do but she also just seems to want me around pretty much like M as an ego boost. Its funny, always been nice to her, tried to set up meetings and yet we only met once and we had a good time. She really wanted to meet again and was sad we didnt kiss, so i have tried to set up more dates, but she does a great job at ignoring half my txs when she feels like and leaving things til the last minute to say "no, i cant meet". Literally she will speak to me when she wants to speak to me. Its funny that she called me the other day and we spoke and we had a good time and she asked what i was doing this weekend (not to meet up, simply curious). I told her the truth and mentioned i was meeting my "X" (G) for "just a drink" amongst other things. The conversation continued it all seemed fine. After the phone call she tx to tell me she didnt need to know about me meeting my X HAHAHAHAHA hilarious. It appears that despite offering myself on a plate and grovelling around her feet worshipping the ground she walks on, that she is a tad jealous. Obiously she is with someone has someone to hold, kiss, have sex with and i cant even meet X's cause thats harsh. Needless to say I flip. but the pathetic side in me, despite being the victim has come around over the last few days and ive asked if she is ok despite her not really apologising to me in regards to her stupid comment. O well, the 3 more recent people in my life I have any feelings for all have someone. They all seem happy now. Im the only one feeling utter awful as i've been chewed and spat out by all 3 i feel (well 2 really as dont feel so bad with G just sad). Argueably K is not 100% happy with her relationship, although she did say she is not like this and there is just something about me. She's right, im a total mug who doesnt let women walk over him, I let them trample me into a pulp into the ground. It could be very well argued that I am picking the wrong people to start with. I couldnt agree more. Unfortunately I tend to prefer older women because I find them more mature and pleasant people, plus they actually show an interest in me. And ultimately I find younger girls more intimidating. Hell, with all that ton of make up on they can actually make themselves up to your standard of looks, even perhaps better. With that wonder bra and wonder bum they can show off their assets in a false way. The santra paye (however the tanning stuff is spelt), the nifty clothes, the load of jewellary, the incredibly sexy underwear, the magazines enforcing "girl power". No wonder they feel too good for most people. But, ill try though, get myself rejected a few times by the not incredibly attractive girl who was saved by make up, who has a bit of a few extra pounds on her by save by the corset, who hasent the biggest boobs but saved by the wonder bra, who hasent a real nice attitude but saved???? by girl powah!! I love getting rejected time and time again from these girls who think there simply better than u despite if they clearly looked at themselves are not. And yet those older girls who are more attractive, nicer people seem to find me attractive. But alas, im screwed anyway due to age problems. I could go on whining all day. I have said this before but im fascinated by girls who complain that their guy treats them badly when in reality they seem to like the challenge. And then when the challenge gets too much and the split happens they complain that all men are jerks! Stop encouraging them to treat u badly then and get with guy who treats u nicely. Fair does he might not be the most exciting guy in the world but at least he cares about u and will be a decent husband/father. And heh, crazy thought but maybe if u give him a chance he can becoming more exciting. The problem is that girls seem to like trying to change a bad boy, but they dont like changing a nice guy to a more exciting guy. So why is it a lot of you girls like these guys who treat you so badly? And if u like them for the excitment stop complaining when they cheat on u or become real ***holes because u know what your getting yourself into. Im ready to get slaugthered now by everyone inc guys. To be honest I cant feel much lower so I can accept the abuse. I am a troubled guy these days I guess with some issues. 1 thing in my defense, I really am not trying to put all girls in the same basket. Im not trying to say there arent girls out there who dont appreciate the nicer guy. Its just in my experience im starting to wonder what I should bother doing. I do take things too seriously I guess for my age. I really should be out having fun as people say (become a male **** basically) and not care about anyone til im older. Maybe ill start trying to pull/ have relationships with as many people as possible and not care about feelings, but ill put a note in my diary at 28 years of age to become serious and care about someone. P.S. I phoned G (this was yesterday), no reply. Then a tx to tell me she thought she replied last night and said she didnt think it was a good idea to meet. It was her suggestion to meet as well *sigh*. O well, at least with her I know its the best interests at heart and we just chatted a bit by tx so I don't feel too bad. Dam, i was so born in the wrong generation, if i was the same age as M & G I reackon id still be with one of them, however, ill probably be ugly, bald and fat by 30 something and so they wouldnt want me My heart really has just been pounded to death since Christmas. P.P.S I went out last night. Had a good time. Then came home with my mate, grab a pizza. Some random guy came up to me and started shouting "Are u looking at my bird?!" Next thing I know I got ****ed in the face, full on the nose. Blood pouring out of my nostrils. I did not look any girl, I hadent a clue what he was on about. When I had half recovered from this random punch, I confronted this guy (funny enough not even knowing who exactly it was who hit me and kicked off). This guy was about to have his *** handed to him as im not a small guy (7 years in the gym), and the very worse that could of happened is he could of hit me again but at least my mate could step in, but I accept an apology while his gfs (yes, 3 of them) were pleading with me not to kill him. hhmmm this random thug surrouneded by women who like him for being a simple thug. At least they all said he was a **** while I kicked off, but that is despite the point that this guy is surrounded by women for simply being a ****!!! Hhmmm that was a nice moan...

Thx for the replies. Both are good. Your right DN, I am seeing the wrong people. I don't know why, but i just like older girls. And funnily every girl i have ever been with or just basically pulled on a night out (at least in last 5 years) has been older than me. Younger girls just never seem so keen on me, its not that I look old or anything, I don't get it. Unfortunately its these younger girls I should be thinking about. I actually had 2 girls come upto me yesterday who were my age, but of course when I had chatted to M by tx there was only one person on my mind that night. Your also right that I take things too seriously.Its stupid, I want a full time girlfriend, but I have no intention of things like marriage or kids til 30+. Im am only young still, i should be having fun with many girls, but for some reason that doesnt appeal. I just feel i want more than just "fun", it sounds a bit cheesy but I feel I have all this love to give and I cant do that with "fun". Plus I would want the same in return. Maybe its a phase. Hell, I could prob end up going out with a girl for a year and then think to myself "what am I doing getting tied down so early on in my life?" and then the thought of ever getting serious again being a scary thought.

My dream is now becoming a nightmare. I like older women. I find them more sexual attractive. More interesting. More understanding. Just in general I have always found them nicer people. Strangily enough it seems older girls like me. I don't know why. But the problem im having of course is that these relationships don't last due to the age gap (well for me anyway). 2 years ago i met M. She is nearly 9 years older than me. She also has a child (divorced). I spent about 6 weeks with her. I didnt see her all too much (due to her being a single parent), but for the first time in my life I found someone I REALLY liked. Life felt good. I liked someone, they liked me. A crazy feeling. After those 6 weeks she told me her ex wanted her back as they were on just a temp break up as things were getting serious and he was young himself so he needed time to think. She wasent sure if they were going to be together again so when she bumped into me she decided to go out with me. I was so gutted. I took like a ridiculous 6 months to basically get over it. Last year, out of the blue M tx me. It had been 9 months since i heard from her and 14 months or so since i last saw her. We ended up meeting up and going out again. She told me she had been single for 6 months and things obviously didnt work out with the last guy and she said she should not have split with myself. Yep. I was over the moon again. This time we just seemed to click better. We met up more and we tx/phoned more. Things were going fine. Roll on 6 weeks and it all falls apart again. She said that she couldnt be dealing with a serious relationship and she needed to find someone older and financial better off than myself (i had only just started working my first job after uni, hadent all the money in the world). I was gutted again. But at least this time It didnt feel so bad as I could understand why she should be wanting an older guy and someone who can look after her and her daughter. It wasent long before i got the first msgs from her when she had had a few to drink and she couldnt hold back from telling me she missed me. Its my belief that she likes me a lot, but doesnt want to as she thinks there's no future in it (my friend told me she told him this). Of course this is were my ongoing problems continued with this girl. I think God wanted to punish me in all honest. Im out every weekend but somehow whenever she seemed to tx and asked to meet up I couldnt for one reason or another. I was either in an underground nightclub, so had no signal. Was not in the area, Or twice I was with another girl. In fact we only met up once in 4 months and with her txing me on 5 separate occasions to meet up. Its just typical that perhaps with any of these meetings it was still possible to salvage a relationship with her. Show her what she is missing. Of course im sure many of u are thinking "Don't bother with her", which is exactly my brother's view. He told me not to see her again the second time i went out with her. Onto this other girl I was referring to as someone I was seeing and twice while with this girl M tx me wanting to meet up. So of course I couldnt see her. This lady (G) was pretty much perfect. Stunning looks. A heart of gold. My only complaint was that she was a smoker, and of course the small matter of her age. She is 35. So over 10 years older than myself. Even though we got off to a great start i still thought about M intially. I just thought "typical" when I just started seeing G that again M was showing interest. But I decided to obviously give G a chance and I was so glad I did. Over the weeks I saw G I just found her more and more attractive and at last found that there were others out there who i could REALLY like. I spent 2 months with her. Had a great time. She is the best girl I have ever spent time with in all honesty. But after those 2 months it came to the crunch. I was thinking no matter how much i like her, she is just too old and she was thinking the same. She was thinking how she wanted to marry again and have children and at 35 she hadent all the time in the world for the latter. We decided it was best not to see each other. She was the main decider. I was a third time severely gutted. This was only going back about 6 weeks. I've tried to forget women problems, but since the second time i spent with M we have kept in contact by tx every couple of weeks or so, just to see how each other are, or if she decided she suddenly missed me again. Its pathetic I know, but since the summer I've always had hope that myself and M could get back together. I like her, she likes me. So roll on to last night. Im out and i tx her. We chat away a bit and she tells me where she is. I meet up with her and discover that she now has a bf. Literally just a couple of weeks ago she got together with this guy. Its been a total of like 6 months that i havent been going out with her. But we have kept in contact and of course amazingly everytime I had the chance to meet up, perhaps change her mind and give it another chance i have some how never rec the tx at a good time and only met her once in the time. I just cant believe it that now im single again and last night I thought I had the chance to perhaps change her mind, she now has a bf. The timing couldnt have been better. Im still obviously upset after G, and now the other girl in my life is seeing someone else after 6 months of been single and always looking like there was a hope (sorry, i know how pathetic it must all sound) and last night was a chance I thought but end up discovering she is now with someone else. In my pretty much worse for wear state (celebrating a nice bonus) I got quite upset. I cant really remember the end of the night. I ended up going home early. And literally cried my eyes out in bed before sleep. Checking my phone this morning i saw I tx her last night to say that I understood and everythings fine but it was obvious i was quite simply jealous and sad. I did apologise and she said I didnt offend her or upset her at all and she did actually apologise to me as she knows she has always kept me on the line and she probably knew last night that I had the thought that there was a chance again. Since finishing with G,a 3rd woman has appeared, and funnily enough, she is 34. She showed all the interest in the world to meet up last week but seems to have settled down a bit. We were going to meet up this weekend, but it hasent happened, and so were meant to next weekend. Im thinking "What is the point?". I know its going to be more of the same. The scary thing is she is married. This is the one thing that has got me to really question what the hell im doing. I don't know what's happened to me. Im so lonely and sad (even angry) and im not even thinking straight now. I can't believe that im even contemplating meeting her. Think shes thinking the same thing hence why its settled down. I am playing with fire here but there's still time to stop this. Due to the above im starting to not believe what is happening to me. I don't even like myself. Im planning to meet someone who is with someone else. If I was the husband I would kill me if I dared to meet her. I feel that im just starting to get so desperate to find someone who i like and who likes me. Im sick of being alone. M & G are the only 2 girls I have so far spent time with in my life who I REALLY like and care about and the total time I've spent with them is like 5 months. Really not showing much for 24 years. I just don't get why i feel so sad. Im 24 years, i have plenty of time to meet new girls etc. And with all this sadness comes GUILT. Im feeling so selfish for whinging about my life when so many others have it far worse. My lil brothers bored to death of hearing my moans and sulks. So have my flatm8s. Im sicked of whinging. Im sick of spending so much of my life so sad. It scares me how sad I often feel. This is not how i imagined life to be. I can except feeling down sometimes but not pretty much all the time. Its sunday night now, its always depressing anyway with the thought of work the next day, but made all the worse i've spent my whole day not doing much and moaning on a website. Made all the worse thinking about 2 girls who mean so much to me yet don't share the feelings back for me. Knowing that M is now with someone else. I may never see her again, let alone go out with her again (and why am i even thinking that would be a good idea to be honest? Havent i learnt the first 2 times?) Knowing that I am an absolute ******* for even contemplating meeting up with a married woman. Knowing that im in a job that has no relevance to what I want to do and with my motivation I'll be there the rest of my life. Knowing that I go to the gym and work out like a bull for 7 years and although by no means is my body bad, its not what I deserve after all the time, effort and money i've thrown into it all. Knowing that i'll probably go bald soon and my already joke of a self esteem will go lower.... I could go on all night. Im sure many other people here could with their problems but the majority of people here and in life just seem emotionally tougher than me. I don't know why I have become this miserable pathetic person. Im sure im not in the right frame of mind now due to the recent events, but all I want to do is enjoy life and I think im wasting so much of it. I read through any post I make on this site and it pains me to read just how badly I type things up. I've spent hours making the thread and it really hasent come out right. Reading the thread I feel like im coming accross as a jerk. *sigh* P.S. Sorry if u read this Nick.

I have always preferred older women. Im 24 today. In the last 2 years i've spent time with a 26 year old, a 31/32 (saw her in 2 separate incidents during 2004 and 2005) and recently a 35 year old. I find older women more attractive and also less intimidating. They have lost the "attitude" that i find a lot of younger girls have. They just tend to be more pleasant people. Maybe its today's society that make a lot of younger girls not so nice (in my opinion). Of course their not all bad.

I feel im in the same boat.I met her last year and it all went wrong and took me forever to let it go. 9 months later she gets back in touch with me and we get together. Everything is going great and then she decides it may be best to call it a day to stop it from getting serious. I know she likes me the problem is mainly due to the age difference, with her being nearly 9 years older. The other problem for me is that i find it difficult to find girls i like, and i found her and i REALLY like her. If I was confident i would be able to meet someone else just like that/or even within 6 months, even a year!!! i could walk away albeit hurt. But with me this just doesnt happen. I worry if i will find someone, and this makes it all the harder for me to let go of anyone i ever find nice. I am also fed up of been strung along never knowing. I never thought i would see her again after last year. But she gets back in touch with me saying she had missed me and wanted to see me again. Life is crap sometimes.

A lot of the girls here are saying they like the guys who are generally well built which suits me being a gym go-er but i still struggle with girls. Guess best try harder

Maybe i do think too much. Sorry for the length of my post. When i start a thread i often end up waffling on for ages I do fill my time as much as i can. My weekdays are pretty much full. But i do have time to reflect on things. I have been trying to look on the positive side of things. Been doing it for years. But your just putting yourself in denile (spelt?). However, trying to be positive does help and in time u feel better. Like i have stated, i met girl 3 last year. I had to get over her. took me ages but i did eventually (well, as much as i could). But out of the blue she tx me again. I was worried of seeing her again in case things didnt go right. 1 of my mates tried to discourage me, and so did my little brother. But its difficult when that girl can make u feel so on top of the world. Can i ask though, have u got a bf currently? Have u had a few long term relationships? Sorry to hear of your situation Yo. Wouldnt say im a good writer though. Quite a few mistakes in there, and almost falling asleep myself reading it its that long

As the title says, im seriously lonely. Im 23, pushing 24, and im sick of being on my own. Its really getting me down, has been for years, think i suffer mild depression. Almost every day that i wake up for work (especially on the earlier shifts), i sit there on the edge of my bed or standing and just for 2 mins stay still and think about how lonely i am and feel like crying. Guess one thing i suffer from is being really picky. Im not looking for 100% stunners, just a good looking girl who has something about them. I prefer a girl that not every guy likes, but u like because not only do u find them attractive but there is just some sort of chemistry there i guess. Maybe its their pheromones. I havent met that many girls i really like, and when i have things haven't gone my way. *Girl 1* I met a girl i really liked on holiday when i was 16. Unfortunately she was from Ireland and i was from england, but she also had a bf. She was probably the first girl i really liked. She liked me to. Spent the holiday going out together, but of course nothing could happen. *Girl 2* Took me til 19 and in uni to find the next girl i really liked. Met her through a gf (wasnt going out with her, she was just a friend who was a girl) i met at uni. I met her on a nightout. She was attractive, but there was something more to her. We got on great from the start. She invited me back to a friends of hers who was having a party. Things went great. It got to the end of the night, i walked her home. She told me at the gate that she really had a good time. I said the same. She told me not only had she had a good night, but wanted to see me again. I also said i felt the same. Over the nx 5 days, we were txing and everything was going fine. I phoned her up to ask her if she wanted to join me for a night out but had to leave a voicemail. That was the last thing that happened. All a sudden despite getting on so well during the night we met and having got on well while txing it suddenly stopped. I have no idea why, neither did my friends. The only logical explaination i could think of and my friends could think of was that the gf who introduced me messed it up for me, as she fancied me. Perhaps through jealously she messed it up, i dont know. I do know that a bit over a year later i saw the girl i liked out again and she saw me. She looked like she wanted to say something but hesistated. I also, stupidly hesitated, and we didnt end up even saying hello to each other. *Girl 3* Took me dam nearly 2 years to find another girl i really liked. Funny enough (not really funny, just the way i feel my luck goes with girls), she is nearly 9 years older than me and has a child. I didnt realise this til the day after i met her on a nightout, we went for a coffee. She obviously wanted to get it out in the open straight away. At first when i saw her i thought to myself "eek! she looks older than i remember and a little fatter than i remember". Then she hit me with the fact she had a child and her age and all of a sudden i thought "This is a nightmare". But give it just 5 mins sitting there with her face to face and suddenly she just got more and more attractive. We had fun over the next load of weeks. Due to her circumstances i could only see her like every other week. I only met up with her 5 times. Each time got better and better. I liked her more and more, she seemed to like me more and more. Everything seem to be going great. Then she said she couldnt meet me one weekend. Soon after she said she thought we should just be friends for now, but assured me everything was fine, she was just really busy. Spin on another load of weeks and she tells me her ex wanted her back. apparently she had been seeing this guy for 9 months when he asked if they could have a break as it was getting serious and he was quite a bit younger than her (tho older than me). I got caught up in the middle. I was absolutely gutted. I hadent spent much time with his girl, but i didnt need to to realise i had never liked a girl more. I took forever to let it go and try to get on with life. embarrassing when i think we were only seeing each other for like 2 months and in that time i only saw her 5 times. Although we txed a lot during the time. *Girl 4* A year later i had finished uni, i got a job, and i found a girl i liked at work. No 1 else thought much of her lookswise but personality wise she was nice. My main friend (girl) at work thought she was very unattractive and kept telling me i could so much better, in fact, they all told me this and didnt know what i saw in her. I never really did anything. I never got any real hint she liked us. I usually wait for mulitple looks, a smile, a wink etc. something as some sort of indicator that a girl likes u, dont see much point throwing yourself into a girl who shows not the slightest interest. Anyways, it turned out she had a bf anyway, so any interest i should could well of been wasted anyway. However, when it came to her leaving i thought i may as well come clean and told her in her leaving card how i felt. I find out then that she had finished with her bf. With her leaving party coming up i thought it was my chance. Unfortunately by the time i got there another work colleague was chatting with her and getting on well. Didnt get much time to talk to her, but we got on fine, i told her how i felt. Soon after i find out she was going out with this other work colleague of mine. The same one which she had told everyone in the office would be the "last guy I would go for" *sigh*, no one in the office could believe it. I have nothing against him, i think hes an alright lad, strangely enough no one else seemed to like him much, and she apprantly didnt either. During the time I knew *Girl 4*, a couple of months before she left, *Girl 3* tx me out of the blue after 9 months of no contact and over a year since i last saw her. Talk about butterflys in the stomach. Within a month we met up again. She told me she had been single for over 6 months since finishing with the guy she went back to while i was seeing her. She told me her sister even recommended she saw me again as she had been missing me and had really liked me, but unfortunately got caught up in the little love triangle. Things were going great again, but this time 6 weeks after first meeting again and with everything going great, she told me that her life was really busy and felt not in a position to be in a serious relationship, but said we could keep seeing each other as long as i understood that it could only be as and when possible. I said i could wait. Give it a few weeks and she said we best call it a day, she said that she had too much going on in her life. I argued a little and she said she should be looking for someone her own age and who is more financially secure, but said she wanted to stay in touch and stay friends. Once again i was gutted. A few txs happened again over the next few days. Then 2 weeks of no conact. I wanted to try NC, plus i kind of felt "what is the point of trying". 2 weeks later she txs to find out how i am. 5 days later i get a tx saturday at 1.20am asking if im out. I missed it as was out but in an underground nightclub with no signal. She explained the next day that she was left on her own by her friends when they went to their bfs and she wanted to know if i was around. She said she missed me. I advised it was stupid not to see each other at all as we both liked each other but realised that maybe it was best ot to have anything serious due to the age difference. Since then we been txing each other, mostly me doing 2/3rds of the intiating. We finally met up again when she was out with a few friends and i was with a mate. Had an alright night, got on well with her, both saying we had missed each other, shared some kisses etc. Her sister was telling me she had talked about me a lot and had been missing me. Next day she is txing me, were getting on fine, felt like we were back together again it was going that well. But this was a week and a half ago now, since then i intiated a tx, but she hasent intiated anything. My mate i was out with had been speaking to her and was apparently told she had been missing me a lot, but was worried about falling for me as im too young for her. So im now at the present. There's no girl at work i like now. My flatm8s dont really know any girls and any they do know i dont fancy. My gym has some attractive girls, but the only ones ive seen that i like quite a lot are not regulars and ive only seen them like once, so will i get a chance to talk to them who knows. And the girl of my dreams is nearly 9 years older than me with a child and seems to be doing her best to try not to think about me. I dont feel i can win in that situation. Its lose all the way. If i tx her, im going to be too pushy (what she called me last year when i tried to meet up with her for a coffee after no contact for 2 months ). If i dont tx i may look like i dont care enough, and secondly she may easily just find someone else assuming that i dont care enough. There was a thread on the age gap forum about girls who are with younger guys and each one of them basically said if it wasent for the guy being persistent they wouldnt be together. And now they are together they are all having a great time. So what im meant to do?? God knows! I cant honestly say hand on heart that its a good idea to see her, being that much older than me with a child. Deep down i dont know if i would feel the same 10 years down the line when im a bit over 30 and shes over 40 and i might have all these hot 20 years olds after me (please dont think im being shallow, im just using it as an example). But then again, every1 is in the same boat, no one knows how they will feel about someone 10 years down the line. All i know for certain is i have never liked a girl so much. So, to be honest im 23 years old, pushing 24, and i have never really had a proper relationship i.e. where im with a girl for a decent length of time 4 months+ and seeing them regularly 2-3 times a week. Apart from the girls listed above, i've had drunken snogs, had the one night stands (not loads), even had a sex only relationship for 2 months. But ultimately enough im all alone and always have been. Im not a bad looking guy, in fact, pretty good looking. I work out like a bull in the gym for 6 years to stay in shape and try to get a physique girls like. Girls have complimented me for my looks and physique. I get on with girls fine when it comes to chatting. I get on well with the girls at work. I have gotten on fine with most girls i've ever known. My friends are amazed that i've never really had a full time gf. Girls are amazed i've never really had a full time gf. Most girls i fancy my friends all say "you can do better", in regards to looks. But like i said, i dont need a stunner, i just need someone i find attractive and who has something about them. Anyone else in my situation? I do worry that the days, weeks, years are flying by and I have no idea where a girl is going to come from. I know u cant look for these things, they just happen, and i do think to myself "its just a matter of time", but any glimpse of happeniness i get from a girl seems to be snatched away from me everytime. I wonder how the older people feel. I feel bad enough at nearly 24, let alone if im in this boat at 30+.

I know a girl online who admitted she loved making guys jealous Some older girl who i saw briefly last year and briefly this year, not sure right now how much ill see her again, long story. Anyways, she goes on about her ex's about how great and gorgeous most of them were. It got me very jealous. Im not sure if it was for bragging rights or to make me jealous. She would go on about one of them being so good looking she could ly there all day in bed looking at him. Another one had a body that would just leave her jaw constantly on the floor. Fact is, I dont want to know, and it made me feel like I just wasent upto scratch despite being a good looking guy with quite a good physique, add in that im a nice guy, and im not a bad package. Fact 2, is that she hasent just lied in bed with me and stared into my face all day, im lucky to get a hour in bed with her in the mornings before she suggests a taxi. And i dont cause her mouth to drop from my physique. So basically to sum up I feel that im not that special. Although she does compliment me for my looks and physique, i just feel that im not up their with her best, and i dont need to know this. To be honest, shes not perfect. Shes not extremely attractive. She has a stomach on her. Least if she was bang out 10/10 in everyones books then at least it would feel more justified for her to judge other peoples looks and physiques, although this is very shallow and vain. Dont get me wrong, I think she is GORGEOUS. To me she looks extremely beautiful, and i love her body, i find her stomach cute as. Ive never liked a girl more in my life. To me she is that 10/10 girl. Im just saying on the whole that she isnt every1s cup of tea. She is def mine tho. I compliment her a lot, and i genuinely mean it cause like i said, i find her, lookswise, pretty much perfect. The funniest thing about all of this is that one night i was out without her. Next day she asked if there were any good looking women out. I joked there was this girl who was as hot as her....... yep, she told me i was "tacless". Yep, incredible. Been out and about for nights with her and without her during the time i was seeing her and i really didnt see any other girl as attractive, then i jokingly said i saw a girl as attractive as her (i didnt like her as much, but she was very attractive) in a playful make her jealous way and she was very unhappy. hhmmmmm......so i have to listen to her face to face about her past bfs, how one is so good looking she could stare at him all day and the other with a physique that made her drool and im meant to just except this and not feel a tad jealous and annoyed and i make 1 reference that there is another girl out there in this big wide world which is actually as good looking as her and she has a go at me. Could the girl be any more hippocritical (spelt?) Unfortunately im no John Travolta. I dont like dancing. She does. She loves the attention she gets from dancing. Makes me jealous. Im not going out with her right now, but met up with her last weekend. We kind of agreed to meet up now and then because we like each other, but to try not make it serious as the problem is that im too young for her, hence why im not seeing her now. Anyways, so we meet up, were getting on fine, chatting away, kissing, heck, even managed to dance a little with her etc. for the night its just me and her. She dances with my mate, which i dont mind much as long as im not left alone too long. But then she dances with some other guy "because hes a really good dancer honey", she said she didnt like him though in terms of looks. But she goes off dancing with him having fun, and im just left with my friend while this girl i really like dances with this other guy. Im jealous. Im sorry, but i could almost guarantee she would not be impressed if it was the other way round. If I left her to dance with another girl, i could see her not being happy and storming out. Again, very hippocritical. Sorry, waffling on a bit here. Point is, im the same. From my experience their are a fair few girls out there who like making us guys jealous. I guess its to make us like the girl more?

When i was younger i looked forward to uni, but also wa worried of being homesick. I went to uni in 2001. It took me about a month to settle down and get use to it. Then i started to really enjoy it. Went home for summer. On returning for my second year in a new hall of residance i was homesick again. I was used to being back at home again. This time it only took me 2 weeks to settle in and start enjoying it again. In my third year i couldnt wait to leave home from the summer hols and get back to uni. loved it from the moment i got back to uni. I actually couldnt be bothered to go home most times i went home, but went cause my parents wanted to see me. I feel guilty about this. Finished uni now. Now onto my second year of working. Live away from home with mates. If anything i would get homesick by being at home Give it time, u will b fine.

Never finding someone.

At 29 years of age, i dont think wanting it every other day is that bad. I hope when im 29 years of age im still wanting it as much as that.

I think it may be the excess adrenline. I know that when i was younger, the first time I got my hand in to the pants of a girl when sitting down my leg shaked. It was the excitment. The adrenline is making the body want to move, hence the shaking.

Short. Anywhere from 5-5'6. The current love of my life (although im not dating her again now, merely seeing her as a friends with benefits (think)) is only 4'11 i believe. Crazy small, but ssooo cute. Think she would have to be the smallest girl i could like tho.

Keep fit and in shape. Stress relief. Make myself happier and more confident. Also to make myself appear more attractive to women. Its hard enough getting a girl, might as well make myself as presentable as possible.

Good answer, v.true. When I was in the final years of school being 17-18, all the girls there dated older guys, and it seemed the older the better. They literally bragged about their bfs ages. Its funny how the "maturer" girls were actually acting immature. Now im 23, been through uni, and suddenly age isnt such a big deal. Girls tend to like guys because how they look and their personality and age doesnt even seem to matter. Go to uni and u will find this. I prefer older girls. And luckily im pretty successful with older girls. Hell, i've seen a girl who is 8 and 1/2 years older than me last year and saw the same girl this year, and even after recently deciding its not a good idea to make it really serious, we still are planning to see each other sometimes (probably a bad idea). Last summer I had a sex-only relationship with a girl who was 4 years older than me. 2 weeks ago I met a 29 year old girl who was gorgeous and clever and pulled (snogged her). Stupidly i didnt get her number I seem to end up attracting girls who tend to be older than me. Point is, its possible I think its just a phase that girls go through from 15-20. After that age isnt so important, however, having said that, I believe the majority still would prefer an older bf. Im guessing its because they feel more protected by them.