nenez

Yes you are being silly. Everyone has a past. If he wanted to be with her rather than you, thats where he would be. Im sure the last thing on her mind was the past. They both may have been a little embarrased to be seeing each other but he clearly demonstarted his togetherness with you by a physical display. This would have been clear to her. Focus on what is good in your realtionship. Be happy with what you share together. remember that he chose to move on. It didnt have a huge impact on his life. He is with you by choice. Be happy with that. Jealousy is the most destructive force in any relationship so avoid it. With love

Hi The problem you have is simple. And so is the solution. Call her. Whenever it is convenient to you. Dont chat. Ask her out. Straight away. How on earth is this girl supposed to know thats what you want if you dont ask her. And make it a friendly date not a hot night out so she can back out if thats not what she wants from you. But you must find out so that if she isnt interested you can devote your call time to someone who is. You sound like a sweet guy so hang in there With Love Nenez

Hi You are doing well. But remember you have three specific problems 1. he has a problem with your children 2. He has a relationship with someone else 3. He lies to you. Disregarding the unprotected sex which is appalling: he has no right to risk your health. You sound like a strong loving person and he sounds like an immature man. You have three childdren. Do you really want another? Solutions 1. He may or may not get over the problem he has with your children. If he doesn't he will start asking you to choose. Its a no win for you. You will be hurt again and again. 2. You must be clear that he no longer has relationships aoutside of yours if you want to go forward. Him moving jobs helps but ex squeezes who stay matey are a danger because neither party acknowledge the sexual element. It will make you jealous and unhappy. 3. Liars lie. He is unlikey to stop hididng from you if you let him go on doing this. You must sit down and talk this through. Get him to express his thoughts about your kids, the situation and the future. If you are not fully satisfied you must for your own sake let him go. Otherwise he will abuse you emotionally and all of you will suffer, kids included. Try to be strong. Try to value yourself in this , not him. You are worth it. With love.

Hi Young realtionships are about trying and testing and it sounds like you and this young lady have done plenty of that to each other. I believe you shoud try to be friends for a while. If it develops again start afresh with a clean slate. Talk to each other about the past and put it to rest. make a promise not to lie to her again and tell her so. Be open and honest. Thank her for all the nice things she did for you and tell her what you like about her (not just her looks). DO NOT GET ANGRY OR OVER EMOTIONAL. This will drive her away. Also and this is important..stop talking to your friends about each other (both of you) as you are creating muddy waters. At worst you will end up being friends. At best you will be back together in a good relationship. Be happy. Happy people are more lovable and if you are happy she will be drawn to you.

Hi Don't give up but leave him alone. If he wants to come back he will. You've told him that you don't want to be just friends so you cannot expect him to contact you on a casual basis at the moment. I did exactly this in a very similar situation a few years ago. Sadly the man in question was unable to give very much emotionally. He did gifts etc but did not verbally express himself. He was just unable to make that sort of a bond. Its been 5 years and he has not had a proper relationship since. I did miss him terribly at forst but it does get better, You will recover. You have the advantage of distance, your own life is in place and you don't have the danger of running into him all the time. Go out with your friends, enjoy yourself. Give yourself some serious pampering and find your own happy place. He will come back to you if he is able. If he is not than you are better off because a life with a withholding person can be desperately painful. Take good care and try to keep busy. With love

Hi Its simple really. The first flush of a relationship involves showing others that you are together. This sweet girl has never been kissed. She is proabaly a little nervous about your relationship moving into the next stage of intimate affection. She felt safe before so she was open to cuddles etc. Now she is nervous so she has withdrawn. Take it easy with her and don't try to force her along. It will all happen at its own pace. As to the age difference its a couple of months not ten years, it makes no difference at all. Enjoy your time together. be happy as friends. All the rest will follow in the fullness of time.

Dear Lisaria It does get easier. Take it one day at a time and in every day take note of every good moment even if its smiling at a kid in the street or having a laugh with a friend. Try not to be on your own too much, reflecting time always is the hardest. Remember there are a million womn out here all rooting for you.

Dear boromir If you broke up with this woman or wanted to for reasons such as no more threesomes, you were in a controlling relationship. Such a relationship can only hurt you both. You will get over this but remember neither of you owns the other. Try not to focus on good times or bad in the past but take your lessons (and you will have plenty) and use them in your next relationship. I dont believe that you have given yourself any help by continuing conatact. You said you achieved some closure, hang on to that. Find yourself and love yourself first and then you will be ready for something new, Be happy x

This isnt probably what you want to hear but you have to move n. You are both locked in a destructive cycle. You are tying yourselves into a reltionship that can only hurt you. She will not commit to more than friendship and you cannot be happy with that. No contact means just that. Be nice, give her the graduation gift, wish her luck and then leave it. Give her the chance to move on. If you belong together she will be back. The time and distance will give you a chance to break theemotional tie. You will then be bale to be friends if that is your wish but you need time to grieve and time to find yourself again. To continue as you are is both selfish and destructive on both your parts. Try to be happy with yourself before you move on to someone new. Give the new person in your life a fair chance too. Best of luck, we have all been there. Time will heal.

You will find all this easier to deal with if you do the following: Try not to mix in the same group all the time make a list of all your strong points and the reasons you have to be happy with yourself. Pick three great things about yourself and use them as a mantra every day See other friends as much as you can Give yourself time. These break ups, horrible as they are do get easier with time. You are a good person. You will find love again and you will find someone who deserves you. Have faith in yourself.