Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 47

Thread: He wants to experiment with his feminine side

  1. #31
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    That is precisely what I told him; he needs to be honest to himself. First, he needs to understand what he wants and realize he is affecting the kids, then he has to go find professional help.
    He refuses to see a therapist.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,875
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by McMurphy1973
    sounds like a plan as soon as I get a job and pay for therapy without him knowing
    Why do you feel so strongly that you must hide that from him? What else is going on with you two that you can't be honest with him?

  3. #33
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    It wasn't me who caught him on tape, my teenagers were trying to spot the newly adopted cat (we have three dogs), and they saw him fully dressed and ready to rock 'n roll. They gasped, my first reaction was thinking one of the dogs ate the cat or something like that, but no, it was their father walking around the house.
    When we got back he was in his business attire as usual.
    Therapy sounds great.

  4. #34
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    Every time I make a comment about therapy, he gets on the defensive side, saying that therapists are a rip-off and no way he would spend a dime on them.
    One of my daughters was diagnosed with ADHD, and he says is not true that the doctors made it up to charge for medicines and extra stuff.

    I got into a huge argument and fight him to pay for the new insurance, I am not willing to go thru that again, so I'm looking for a job instead to be financially independent.

  5.  

  6. #35
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Would it be so bad if he noticed you started going to therapy? Would it be so bad if you told him it was because you loved him, loved yourself, loved your family, and need help navigating this chapter since you feel he's not able to offer that help?

    If he does not clearly see how this is affecting you, and your/his family, it's going to be hard for him to see that his exploring is coming with costs that may lead to him feeling more lost than found on the search.
    I will try that approach because I do need help navigating the next chapter.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,218
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by McMurphy1973
    I will try that approach because I do need help navigating the next chapter.
    Exactly.

    He, right now, is doing what he wants, what he feels he needs. You can't stop that. You can try to discuss it, be patient, whatever, but he is going to do what he is going to do. Telling someone who is incapable of being honest with themselves, because they don't yet know how to articulate themselves honestly, to be honest with themselves is like banging your head against a wall in hopes that it becomes a swimming pool.

    Maybe he gets a grip on this in a week, maybe a year, maybe never. You kind of have to accept that, and do what you need to keep a grip on things.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,815
    Originally Posted by McMurphy1973
    I can't go to therapy without him noticing, he has access to all the credit cards and medical bills at home, so If I go, he would know and will go defensive or ask why I'm doing that.
    So he can wear nail polish and stilettos but you're not allowed to go to therapy?

    When he asks you why, point to his eyeshadow.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,891
    Gender
    Male
    No, you need to go a therapist and he will pay for it. You want him to change...not going to happen. He's fine cross-dressing and he's got the dependent fearful compliant housewife. So he doesn't "have to" do anything, you do. He fine with everything. You're unhappy.
    Originally Posted by McMurphy1973
    -he needs to be honest to himself.
    -he needs to understand what he wants and realize he is affecting the kids
    -he has to go find professional help.
    -He refuses to see a therapist.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    FL
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,243
    Gender
    Male
    Eh, I'll just be blunt as usual.

    If my wife wanted to start playing the role of a dude I'd tell her to take a hike. I'm not down with dating dudes, or women who act like dudes. Marriage or not that's no go zone for me.

    I'd simply tell her (him in your case) it's me or the nail polish you decide. I mean yeah nail polish isn't that big a deal by itself... But this train is likely headed downhill fast.

    Edit.... Read the rest. Dresses, makeup, etc. Yeah train is runaway with no brakes.

  11. #40
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    21
    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    When he asks you why, point to his eyeshadow.
    That is a good one xD

Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •