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Thread: If a girl talks to a lot of guys, do guys view it as annoying/craving attention?

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    If a girl talks to a lot of guys, do guys view it as annoying/craving attention?

    I actually don't talk to many guys at school because of this reason (only two or three). But to the guys out there, do you guys think of this as craving attention? I've always wondered and I'm curious about your opinions on this (ofc women can answer too, I'm open to everyone's opinions :))
    Also I don't mean it in the sense that they're flirting, being extra touchy, or wearing super showy clothes specifically only around boys, but rather as in they happen to be good friends (or at least acquaintances) with almost every guy in the grade.

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    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    You are free to talk to whoever you want to, regardless gender. If a guy has a problem with it, he's not suitable for you.

    It's hard, but try not to care what other people think as long as you're doing what YOU believe is right for you.

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    It May Be To Devalue You

    This is a rather thin line between someone being "social" or being an "attention seeker". You ahve to ask yourself this question. Was she ike this BEFORE you met her?

    If she was (someone who talked to a lot of guys) then she may very well be social. But if it is flirting and she is actively trying to make you jealous then, yeah, you are dealing with someone who is doing something and to you.

    You have to understand that there are many narcissistic people out there and if she is talking to a lot of guys and doing so to make you feel good. She is trying to devalue you. Why? So you will always be in her clucthes.

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    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I've always talked to a lot of guys, that doesnt mean I am an attention seeker or a flirt, I just like to talk to people. I'm sociable and friendly and I dont see where being a genuinely friendly person could be a bad thing as long as there's no ulterior motive.

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    I don't think there's anything wrong with talking to a lot of guys. I have usually gotten along with guys a lot better than girls anyway. I'd say I have an even mix of guy and girl friends at this point in my life but I don't see why it would be a bad thing to have many friends of the opposite gender if you wanted. That's different than seeking attention. If you're purposely going out of your way to force a friendship that would be attention seeking. Ive known guys that have had lots of female friends to it would be hypocritical for a guy to judge a girl with lots of male friends. If someone judges you based off that.. maybe they aren't worth it.

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    I've noticed my sister talks to a lot of guys to the point of over doing it, being 'Miss Personality Plus' and not knowing how exercise semblance of control including to men with girlfriends or wives. It's uncomfortable. She doesn't see anything wrong with it but it can be overbearing, flirtatious, too talkative and inconsiderate to their significant other. It comes across as attention seeking and narcissistic which it is. She has been this way ever since she was a little girl. It strokes and flatters her and the guy's ego.

    I'm friendly toward some men. However, I'm discreet, ladylike and know my bounds. This is the difference.

    Guys are flattered and go along with it because many of them are naive and don't see what some women are doing when they pay too much attention to them socially. Then there are some guys single or not who are receptive to this type of attention and act as if they're 21 years old in the dating scene again.

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    Why do you ask?
    And why are you limiting who or how many guys you talk to based on well nothing it seems?
    Your question sounds like a loaded one?
    Who are you referring to in your post? And why?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you're this shy, try practicing talking to boys. Just smile say hi and try to be a bit more friendly. Make small talk about school, classes, current events, etc. With practice you'll be able to feel more comfortable talking to boys instead of being on the sidelines feeling jealous and resentful of the popular girls who aren't as shy as you are.
    Originally Posted by yun
    I actually don't talk to many guys at school because of this reason (only two or three). But to the guys out there, do you guys think of this as craving attention?

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by yun
    I actually don't talk to many guys at school because of this reason (only two or three). But to the guys out there, do you guys think of this as craving attention? I've always wondered and I'm curious about your opinions on this (ofc women can answer too, I'm open to everyone's opinions :))
    Also I don't mean it in the sense that they're flirting, being extra touchy, or wearing super showy clothes specifically only around boys, but rather as in they happen to be good friends (or at least acquaintances) with almost every guy in the grade.
    I think young kids will often read into things that adults don't so I can understand your fears about appearing a certain way or your concerns about other girls appearing a certain way to boys your age.

    Generally when we're younger there are a lot of preconceived ideas about what life is about (without having lived much of it). Unproven truths and notions. It's fine and it's normal and it's a trademark of youth. Some of it is inherited from our elders and passed down in child-rearing. I'm still speaking about those ideas and preconceived notions.

    You should learn (or try) to look at the world through an open lens and acknowledge/accept when others are trying to express themselves. You'll limit yourself less in terms of friendships and opportunities. All you need to do is filter dangerous or unsafe situations and people, learn to avoid those, and you'll be just fine. Otherwise, don't limit yourself. Eyes wide open and filter.

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    Male age 30. When I was in high school I very much appreciated girls who talked to me. I don't think there was a girl I thought was attention seeking.

    I don't know what it's like these days but I'm sure it's ok with any guy that a girl says whatever she wants to him. Pretty much anything is great to a guy from a girl.

    Don't be afraid of doing whatever you want at that age. When you're older you'll see how hard it is to get a well intentioned hello. And it's a lot safer in high school around people who keep an eye on each other.

    Remember men don't think like women. They're totally different. And what girls will gossip and bully about doesn't apply to what a guy thinks.

    Cliques and social norms mean nothing. You can take a person out of a clique by being friendlier to them than their friends. And most cliques aren't what they appear to be at all. Cliquees are just really good at keeping up appearances of being cool with each other that's how they grew up. It doesn't mean they have genuine good feelings for each other at all especially when a friendly girl knocks on their door.

    If you want to it's incredibly cool to shy guys talk to them.

    Whatever happens don't let anyone get you down about what you chose to do. The more you persevere, itll become cool and those nay sayers will find themselves stuck saying no to a cool thing.

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