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Thread: After death, new dog or not?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    After death, new dog or not?

    My beloved 14 yr old dog passed away 2 mos ago. :icon_sad

    For those of you who were dog owners, did you get a new dog after your previous dog passed away? If you did, when and why? If you decided against repeated dog ownership, what were your reasons? Do you have reasons from other dog owners such as your parents, in-laws, friends or acquaintances? Thank you for your opinion and stories. I appreciate it.

    There is sudden lonely freedom from losing "man's best friend." However, I don't miss the reality check of enormous commitment, responsibility and expense of taking care of "a toddler" for 14 years. Also, I can't experience another final good-bye and broken heart again.

    I am conflicted. Thank you for your input.

  2. #2
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    While I now also have a dog, my family has always had cats. My husband and I got our first cat when we had been married for about 1.5 years. We are now married nearly 30 and usually have two at a time -- meaning we are on cats 4 and 5. We have always gotten a new cat when one cat dies. Why? Because pets are not people, you really can go get a new one and smother it with all the love and attention you want. Is it the same as the previous cat? Of course not, all cats have their own individual personalities, but we can mourn a cat while loving a new one. Also, cats are a lot less work than dogs. I do not know what will happen when the dog goes, we got her for our daughter and she is moving out in the fall for her gap year.

    So sorry about your friend.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Thank you arjumand.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Sorry about your buddy :(

    I like to have a small grieving period, mostly because the fear of experiencing another loss is too high. But I rescue all my animals and I like to rescue another just because I love having a dog and there are so many that need a new home. The love they give is so much more than the loss you feel now ❤️

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Thank you mustlovedogs.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    It is your ongoing sadness over losing this friend that is causing you to only see the negative from your relationship with your late dog. Think of all the joy it brought you over those years. Think of the years of joy you can have with another pet.

    So, my advice would be to either:

    Get another pet to replace the old, to fill that hole in your heart and allow you to feel that same love you did for it. And yes, it will likely not live as long as you will and you will have to deal with its eventual death, but this is part of life and something that needs to be dealt with. I guess it is similar to those people who after a breakup and the stress and pain that causes, to state they are never going to have another relationship, 'what's the point, it's going to end anyway.' We shouldn't supress our lives to avoid the possibility of emotional pain.

    or,

    Get a pet rock. They are low maintenance and they have a tendancy not to die, although it is advised not to leave them in front of a steam roller. Unfortunately, they are not as lively and fun as a living pet, but you have to take the positives with the negatives.

  8. #7
    I lost my baby girl 2 years ago (little yorkshire terrier 15 yrs old) and it broke me. I felt like i'd lost one of my own children. I wouldn't look at another dog for a long time, as well as not wanting to go near one. But now, i'm crazy about dogs when i see them. I love to stroke them and play with them, but getting another of my own? I don't think i can. I still feel heartbroken from losing my girl and i still cry when i think of her. I honestly don't think i could go through that heartbreak again.

  9. #8
    Silver Member Nickel Speed's Avatar
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    When my 2 dogs and 2 cats die, I don't really plan to get anything else. I grow kind of tired of the extra responsibility and having to make plans for them to go out for the weekend.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Pets seem to be the one loss of life we can "replace." I only own cats now but was raised around both cats and dogs, though I'm very anxiously awaiting picking up a guardian dog for the goats we'll be raising. While I obviously look back fondly and have small feelings of missing certain pets, the new pets have always kinda filled that hole which hurts to be empty afterward, while still leaving room to look back happily on the unique memories provided by pets who have passed.

    In my experience, you get two types of people. Those who perpetually will have a pet and those who end up feeling as liberated to be free from the responsibility as they are sad about the loss. My coworker for example loved his cat who passed a bit over a year back. But him and his husband decided they weren't going to get a new one so they didn't have to worry about taking care of it, and so that they could finally invest in some nice furniture risk-free.

  11. #10
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I had dogs when I was younger in my first place. I waited maybe about 4-5 years before feeling ready for a second dog and I'm sorry to say that the second dog didn't work out for me (it was a terrier). The first was a German Shepherd. He was bred as a police dog actually and his siblings went on to serve as police dogs but him and his sister were left in the litter and the breeder/owner (a friend of a friend out in the country about 3 hours drive away) asked if I might be interested in giving them or one of them a home. I ended up making the drive one weekend and taking the male. I don't know if anyone has had German Shepherds before. It's very difficult to transition to a different breed. I bonded incredibly well with the shepherd, he obeyed all my commands and I rarely had him on a leash. I was absolutely adamant in exposing him to all situations and he was very well-balanced and calm. He was always by my side and extremely intuitive of all my thoughts/emotions. We are not in a position at the moment to adopt a dog but my husband (who's never had a German Shepherd) is curious and more interested in adopting a dog also in the future, later on. I'm not completely open to it at the moment but it's a door I'm willing to leave open. This dog surpassed every idea I ever thought a dog would be or the kind of intelligence I thought a dog was capable of. It's difficult to fill those shoes again.

    You'll know when you're ready and I'd encourage you to learn for example from my experiences with two very different types of dogs. Do lots of research and know what your personality type is and what kind of dog you might bond better with. It'll come naturally to you when it's time for one again.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 03-21-2019 at 11:51 AM.

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