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Flipp

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About Flipp

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  1. Exactly one year ago on this day I was at my lowest point post BU, and probably ever in my entire life. My boyfriend of 6yrs had dumped me 2months earlier, seemingly out of the blue, and I did not handle it very well! Then he finally told me the reason why he’d been so off after the breakup- he’d met another girl, 2weeks after I’d moved out... That’s exactly one year ago today and man o man did it hurt! I didn’t eat much I didn’t sleep well I had nightmares I had absolutely no faith that anything would get better My only hope was that he’d regret his actions and want me back. And
  2. I felt kinda like you, although I don’t have the traumatic past that you do. But I grew up in a religious society and didn’t have an intimate relationship with anyone before my now ex, and that made everything quite hard. And I felt exactly like you do. That I wouldn’t be attracted to anybody else, ever. I have always had a very specific look that I was attracted to, and my ex was all that. So I figured that if I didn’t want to be alone I’d just have to settle with someone. But I was 32 when I was dumped and I also felt out of time. AND I hated that f%$€big woman that he wanted instead of
  3. How old were you when you broke up? The last breakup, and reason for being on this page - 32yrs old. How long did your relationship last? 6 1/2 yrs Were you the dumper or dumpee? Dumpee... And I fought the breakup with everything I had... Why did you breakup? He went “cold” and told me he didn’t know if he loved me like that anymore. Or if he ever had... How long did it take to move on? Well, it’s soon to be one year since the breakup. And in truth I haven’t moved completely on I think. But I have moved on from the desperate longing and the sadness. I’ve become str
  4. I often think about past romances and boyfriends, but mostly just because they're part of a past that shaped me, and they are part of memories and happenings. I don't yearn for them in any way... The boyfriend I had before my last, long relationship, is a guy I briefly think about now and then. I still like the qualities I fell for with him, but our life styles didn't match, and still doesn't so that's that. I wish him all the best. I dumped him and never regretted it, but if I met him down the line and he suddenly wasn't super religious anymore, that might change things, I don't know...
  5. I'm only 10 months into the healing process of my BU and, as Carus* can testify to, I REALLY struggeled with the whole "meeting him"-thing. Now, my situation is quite different from yours, but still, I know the feeling, and it's a horrible one. It kind of feels like you're an animal that needs to constantly be on guard for danger. I would litterally flinch at the sight of a aimilar car, and as my ex drove a black Mercedes, I've developed a keen ability to spot Mercedes cars everywhere. *Sigh*. Still do that, even though I've managed to get past most of my axciety... My advice would be to f
  6. I think Annia had had a nice list to follow. I first came on this site after my breakup in July 2018. 6 year long relationship, BU seemingly out of the blue. Was totally devestated and really didn't think I'd ever get out of thet big, black hole I was in. Got even darker after I found out he found a new girl after 2 weeks... Anyways, what I'm trying to tell you is that I really didn't believe that It would ever feel any better, but it does now. I even managed to talk to my ex and meet him and walk from that experience with my head held high, and feeling confident and with hopes for a br
  7. Ah, I see. How fun! Yeah, Norwegians aren't the most open and communicative people at any rate. I think there are a lot of people on Tinder and other apps that aren't really that serious, but aren't necessarily the opposite either. It's just an easy way to meet people, and you might be lonely, or might need some attention etc, and when somebody then askes the serious questions it gets scary. So I say ask the serious questions - the ones that get freaked are the onces you don't want... But I mean, just in my immediate circle of friends I know 5 Tinder-couples that are running smoothly, i
  8. I've only used Tinder. I've heard quite a lot of different things about Tinder, but I think in Norway it hasn't been around for so long, and the "dating app/OLD scene" isn't the same as say in Britain or the US. It probably has something to do with the number of people on it. We're just not that many people up here in the cold north. My experiences from that app though is: The people that right away asks about inimate things are probably not that serious. Any comments about my body would make me stop talking to them... ("You look nice" is not that kind of comment in my book, but you kno
  9. I love your story, or rather, the message of it - deal with this the way that benefits you! 10 months after my BU I feel that that is the most important thing here. Coming on this page helped me a lot too, but I got a bunch of rather stern and harsh advice here and there, and in your weakest state, that can be hard too! I had to sort through the advice, and do what was best for me and my situation. E.g. I broke NC, and that was the thing that truly got me over the last bump in the road. I'm not saying I’m home free, but it got me from "frequently crying in the bathroom and resenting my fri
  10. Yes it will ease. And panic attacks are actually quite common when going through something rough like a break up. I've never had any problems with anxiety before my break up, but had a few panic attacks in my darkes period. Also developed a sort of "alarm reaction" to seeing cars that looked like his etc etc. It gradually faded, but even 8 months later I was still more aware and anxious when I was at places he could show up. Now, 9 months in, I feel pretty confident that if I see him in the streets or something, that I will be the one who can raise my head and breathe. I would advice y
  11. I think, again, that it'll come down to pure choice. You'll always "feel" something in this or that direction. Fancy someone hot at work, have reallye good conversations with people you meet, missing your ex etc etc. It'll never stop, we keep feeling this and that thorughout our lifes. Sometimes there are good enough reasons for that, somtimes not. My advice would be to really sit down and ask yourself what your current relationship is worth to you. And act based on that. Who's to say that if you got together with your ex, that you wouldn't miss your current gf? BUT, if these feelings keep
  12. First of all, my ex was not and is not a dbag. He’s never treated me poorly until The breakup, not during the breakup either. He’s a confused, sad, depressed man who needs to take control of his life, and sort of fell into a pair of arms in his despair. I’m not saying he’s not stupid and immature and needs to get his act together, I’m just saying that there’s a difference between that and being an abusive d**k. And psychological sickness is also sickness. Secondly, no, I’m not fond of big changes. And I don’t believe that from a pool of good people, some are better than others. There will
  13. It’s interesting that so many people share their opinions here :) Is it a cultural perspective in this? For me there certainly is a religious-cultural factor. I’ve chosen my guy, if I can stand by him through this crazy time, this would be the “sickness” (as in “and in health”)... Even though we weren’t married. Maybe all these thoughts are just a byproduct of not being able to let go, but why does some reconnections work then? I know of people that found back together, where the breakups were far more crazy than mine, and are living happily together now. I also know people that found
  14. It’s an interesting read this :) In my case there’s a few factors that I’ve never discussed with anyone on this forum that makes me se my ex as an option still, if it came to that. But my general opinion is that my own intentions in my ex-relationship was real, and still are. He never chose us like I did, but if he suddenly changed that because of all this sh*t, it’s not “a general bad idea” to problem solve something that actually was quite good. I still oppose to the whole notion of just moving on to “something better”, when most of the time, people tend to make stupid mistakes anyway
  15. Yeah, but what about all the beutiful things you DID paint? I feel more apprehensive about trusting someone new than trusting someone again that I actually DO know.
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