I probably made the worst decision in my life...

So for anyone dont know my situation yet, you can relate to my previous post :

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=554263

Basically, I dated one girl two weeks before, she has a nice body and sexy. But our age gap is huge, she is almost 18 and I'm 27.

Everything was great, one week into our relationship, she already slept in my home everyday and we went to a trip to Thailand as well. So in my mind, the relationship was short-lived(4 months) but I was deeply attached to her.

The reason why we split was because I found out she cheated on me with a guy in another city by snooping her phone though she claimed they didn't have sex but I saw there was a nude pic of herself taken in his home. At first, I said I will give her time to decide but she said she may take a very long time to think.

After few days, she didn't contact me at all so I initiated the contact saying I will help her to buy the iPhone XS by paying US$400 and buy her a new iPhone each year so she agreed to become a friend with benefits with me, because I still love her and have a strong sexual desire on her.

That day, the bill cost me nearly US$1,300 as she purchased an iPhone XS, a pair of Airpods and a 2m charging cable. But she only paid me $400 and said she will sell her old iPhone and will pay me $400 later.

The reason why I bought the phone for her is, before our split, she said even her parent never bought her any phones before and she really want the new iPhone, it will meant a lot to her.

The day I bought the iPhone, she said her Dad want to sell her old iPhone so he can get a iPhone XR later, which mean my $900 is gone.

Originally, she agreed to come over my place 2,3 times a week. But yesterday she said she can only come once and there should be nobody at home. Even when I want a casual meetup, she always comes up with excuses like she is busy with the study, she is sick or she is meeting her friends, something like that.

So I was so pissed yesterday night, and I said I will tell her father I paid her $900 for buying the iPhone, we struggled for few hours on the text messages before she finally told her father that by her own.

When she got the money from her father, which she had a photo for the prove, she tried to hurt me further by pointing out my bad things, insecurities and even said she never loved, respected and cared me the whole time, and she cheated because I was cold to her at the first place, and saying doesn't want to have any to do with me anymore.

She still had two excuses for the money, she said she need a ATM card of the back to deposit the cash in my bank account and the number is wrong, something like that.

We agreed to meet up later in this afternoon so she can give me back the money, I'm expecting she will act extremely disrespectful at that time.

Right now, I decided to enter no contact with her and move on, but what can I do in order to help me heal faster and forget this toxic person.

Get help for your self esteem issues.

Dont try to portray yourself as a victim when you literally entered a prostitution contract.

Dont try to force or buy the love of people you have no business dating. You have every ability to date women within your maturity level. The fact that she was using you was seen weeks ago and pointed out to you. You made a conscious choice to keep going. Own that.

Be single right now, work on you, youre going to be ok. The pain you are feeling isnt about her, I know its feels like it is, but like she said, she never loved you and you never loved her, you didnt even know her, you paid for her attention and she begrudgingly gave it, you loved the idea of her and you deserve better.

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but it’s time to just get real.

One, she’s 18. Remember 18? Yeah.

Two, this whole arrangement is baffling on so many levels. If you want casual sex, and to pay for it, why not find a professional? Seriously. No judgement on this end, but just be honest.

Want love? Well, it’s not going to happen like this, not with an 18 yr old, not with a 28 yr old.

Take the $900 and spend it on a therapist. They’re the best!

I agree with the two posts above. That said ...

our age gap is huge, she is almost 18 and I'm 27.

 

Everything was great, one week into our relationship, she already slept in my home everyday and we went to a trip to Thailand as well. So in my mind, the relationship was short-lived(4 months).

I can't for the life of me get my head around parents who allow their 17 year old daughter sleeping over at a virtual stranger's home barely a week into knowing them and allowing her to go to Thailand with a guy ten years older than her. I mean ....... I dunno.... it leaves me speechless. Maybe I'm behind the times or something but to me, it is absolutely mind blowing.

OP, really, look for women your own age.

The best thing you can do to heal faster is to extricate yourself from this situation by cutting off all contact. In the future, aim for someone who shares the same maturity level as you.

I’m sorry you’re hurting, but it’s time to just get real.

 

One, she’s 18. Remember 18? Yeah.

 

Two, this whole arrangement is baffling on so many levels. If you want casual sex, and to pay for it, why not find a professional? Seriously. No judgement on this end, but just be honest.

 

Want love? Well, it’s not going to happen like this, not with an 18 yr old, not with a 28 yr old.

 

Take the $900 and spend it on a therapist. They’re the best!

Hmm, I never behaved like that when I was 18 nor did any of those in my social circle. I think, as the OP said himself, she's just toxic and most likely will still be toxic even as she gets older. Perhaps worse, with really poor character generally.

The rest of your post I agree with!

OP, I find it interesting that in your post you state you are 27 ... yet in your profile you say you are 24. Care to explain?

Also, in a previous thread you say she is 18, but in this thread she is not yet 18. So, still a 17 year old.

OP, I find it interesting that in your post you state you are 27 ... yet in your profile you say you are 24. Care to explain?

 

Also, in a previous thread you say she is 18, but in this thread she is not yet 18. So, still a 17 year old.

Lol, I think it wouldn't be a big problem because the age in my profile was wrong as I input the wrong year, and technically shes 18 because in less than 3 months, she will turn 18.

Lol, I think it wouldn't be a big problem because the age in my profile was wrong as I input the wrong year, and technically shes 18 because in less than 3 months, she will turn 18.

That doesn't change the fact that she WAS and IS 17 when you were "dating" her. Learn from this and look for women your own age.

I guess I just meant that as in: 18 + 27 = not a great match for sustainable love.

Lol, I think it wouldn't be a big problem because the age in my profile was wrong as I input the wrong year, and technically shes 18 because in less than 3 months, she will turn 18.

No ,she’s technically not 18 . She’s technically 17 . And depending upon where you live that could be a lawful no no .

You were treating your 'great love' like a prostitute. Shame on you! She isn't even an adult. Stay away from the children.

Get some therapy. Your judgement is seriously skewed and creepy.

Did she tell her father you attempted to purchase sex from her?

You'd be lucky if he doesn't have you investigated by the police for soliciting prostitution.

Did she tell her father you attempted to purchase sex from her?

 

You'd be lucky if he doesn't have you investigated by the police for soliciting prostitution.

I dont think so.

Did she tell her father you attempted to purchase sex from her?

 

You'd be lucky if he doesn't have you investigated by the police for soliciting prostitution.

This is really disturbing. If you can treat someone you 'love' like this, I can't imagine how you would treat a woman you did not care for. You do not value or respect women. You have no idea what love is, either.

Everything is just so wrong here. You were paying a 17-year old for sex and she had no problem being a prostitute for an iPhone, at least for a little while. As people have pointed out, this is a crime. Just stop this so you don't get into any more trouble, block her and delete her, and find someone your own age.

Lol, I think it wouldn't be a big problem because the age in my profile was wrong as I input the wrong year, and technically shes 18 because in less than 3 months, she will turn 18.

Huh?

No, technically or untechnically, she is not 18.

The unbelievable thing is you seem to think SHE did YOU wrong by not following through with the sex you thought you bought.

Do you see nothing wrong with what you did?

The unbelievable thing is you seem to think SHE did YOU wrong by not following through with the sex you thought you bought.

 

Do you see nothing wrong with what you did?

I know I was wrong so now she already paid me back the money and we are in NC right now.

My heart is hollow now...and I start missing her again, what should I do?

 

My heart is hollow now...and I start missing her again, what should I do?

Leave her alone and date someone your own age, before her father kicks your @%#$.

I have a 18 year old daughter and if I found a 27 year old man buying her gifts so she would enter into a "friends with benefits" situation, you would have far more to worry about than missing her.

I know I was wrong so now she already paid me back the money and we are in NC right now.

 

My heart is hollow now...and I start missing her again, what should I do?

You don't miss her, you miss having sex with her.

I know I was wrong so now she already paid me back the money and we are in NC right now.

 

My heart is hollow now...and I start missing her again, what should I do?

Make an effort to have friends and a social life. Leave the young girls alone..

I know I was wrong so now she already paid me back the money and we are in NC right now.

 

My heart is hollow now...and I start missing her again, what should I do?

See a counselor.

You’re going to be ok.

Like I said earlier it’s really not her that you miss it’s the idea of her, its the companionship, its the believe that you’re not alone but you were always alone with her and I think deep down you know that. This was not a relationship in anyway shape or form, this was an arrangement. You deserve someone who loves you not someone who tells you they love you because you’re buying them stuff.

See a counselor.

 

You’re going to be ok.

 

Like I said earlier it’s really not her that you miss it’s the idea of her, its the companionship, its the believe that you’re not alone but you were always alone with her and I think deep down you know that. This was not a relationship in anyway shape or form, this was an arrangement. You deserve someone who loves you not someone who tells you they love you because you’re buying them stuff.

Thank you so much for the advice, I really do.

Maybe I’m really missing the companionship and physical attraction with her, but deep down our relationship is doomed from the beginning because there was little or no emotional support and it was one sided.

I will try NC with her and see what happens, but she still doesn’t remove me from her contact list yet, which is confusing me.

The cold hard truth is she’s leaving you as an option if she needs something else. She told you who she is and what she feels, believe her.