Being a "little man"

So I've been carrying this chip on my shoulder that has been a hindrance to my self confidence that I wanna get rid of. I'm 5'6, with hands and feet smaller than a lot of women's, with an obvious endowment that matches said physical attributes. For this reason I feel like I don't blip too hard on the sexual radar no matter how sexy I try to carry myself. I'm at least mildly funny and entertaining to most of the people I'm around. I've got a reasonably good job, with an associates degree. I'm a fairly talented musician in 2 successful bands so I'm already doing that "working on yourself thing." I even had a great body a few years ago that I let slip because I fell in a state of apathy. It hit me one day. I'm a little man, and there's no amount of self improving that will change that. I'm not asexual as I'm definitely attracted to women but I'm writing off sex because I feel like it's something I don't get coming my way. And it's made me regress into a really weird hole for a 30 year old to be in. I can't be naturally sexy if I'm having sex with no one and I can't have that bravado and charisma if I come off like a little kid right off the bat. Anyway, thanks for listening. I have an otherwise great life but I wanna get past this self induced stigma

I wanna get past this self induced stigma

I think you are right that much of this is self-induced. The way you think about yourself is a bigger problem than the way you actually are. Many big and small men are able to approach life with confidence. Appearance isn't everything. Focus more on what you do have than on what you don't. The ability to make a woman laugh counts for a lot. Music is an aphrodisiac. You can be the biggest little man the world has ever known.

So I've been carrying this chip on my shoulder that has been a hindrance to my self confidence that I wanna get rid of. I'm 5'6, with hands and feet smaller than a lot of women's, with an obvious endowment that matches said physical attributes. For this reason I feel like I don't blip too hard on the sexual radar no matter how sexy I try to carry myself. I'm at least mildly funny and entertaining to most of the people I'm around. I've got a reasonably good job, with an associates degree. I'm a fairly talented musician in 2 successful bands so I'm already doing that "working on yourself thing." I even had a great body a few years ago that I let slip because I fell in a state of apathy. It hit me one day. I'm a little man, and there's no amount of self improving that will change that. I'm not asexual as I'm definitely attracted to women but I'm writing off sex because I feel like it's something I don't get coming my way. And it's made me regress into a really weird hole for a 30 year old to be in. I can't be naturally sexy if I'm having sex with no one and I can't have that bravado and charisma if I come off like a little kid right off the bat. Anyway, thanks for listening. I have an otherwise great life but I wanna get past this self induced stigma

Hi! I have had problems with my body image before as well. I am in my early thirties, I'm not short but 5' 9" , I weigh 155 lbs wet , I'm a pale ginger.... And I'm not very well endowed.

Definitely not the image media tries to portray as desirable.

I can'texactly tell you how I was able to overcome these issues but you need to realize most of those things are beyond your control. You can always get back Into a workout routine so you can feel better about your body but also do it the health benefits from working out, and don't over do it because then you'll give off the vibe of trying to compensate. If you feel inadequate about your endowment, maybe you are watching too much porn and are having an unrealistic expectation about what is normal. I think most guys would be happy with an extra inch or two. We're not all pornstars. And also remind yourself when you see the "ideal looking man" on TV magazines etc about all the photoshop and or plastic surgery to achieve that look.

As far as relationship wise you wouldn't want to be with anyone who is so shallow they wouldn't want to date you based soley on your looks anyways, would you? As far as sex, I know it can be intimidating if your insecure with your manhood but you know what they say right, is not about the size but if you know What to-do with it.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I hope I said something that may help you become more confident. And instead of being insecure about your looks focus on the good qualities that you do have! Confidence will come eventually and I as well as most women will tell you confidence is way sexier than appearance.

Your body is the body you were born with and for the Most part beyond your control, love it!!

And I appreciate this post because it goes to show a fact I always try to point out, it's not only women who suffer from body image issues!

5'6 isn't that short! I think it's totally fine! I'm a woman 5'5 tall and I would definitely date a guy that height. I also don't care if they had a smaller penis as long as there was sexual chemistry and they were attentive and adventurous in bed. I don't really think those things are a problem, it just sounds like you have very low self-esteem about your appearance. Have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

5'6 man you're not that short! I'm 5'10. I have self esteem issues too I think a lot of people do to a certain extent anyway! You just need confidence, Hit the gym if you're into that sort of thing that can help with confidence, Actually there's a guy at my gym who is probably 5'6ish and all the women there know his name just because hes confident, women love music and being in bands you're bound to meet a few women! Overtime you'll get a mentality that's like "I may think I'm short, I've accepted these thoughts and I love myself" I know it sounds weird but these.

Don't worry about your hight. Most woman are 5ft 6 or shorter. I'm attracted to shorter woman but I've dated even woman taller then myself for years. I'm 6ft. Im sure tall woman feel the same unless there a model. One of my best friends is 5ft 4 and he has a beautiful wife. Get some boots if it really bothers you. With the endowment area. If it makes it that far do you really think they care? If they care about either thing then there not for you. Good luck. BTW don't hit the gym to hard. My friend over compensates he told me he wants to hit 230lbs.

Threads have been merged.

I don't really have any advice to you about how to improve your confidence, other than to tell you to practice good self-talk and get out there and practice it. But I did want to share that one of the best lovers I've had to date was around your height and was one of the smallest endowed men I've had. It all comes down to your attitude.

I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum at 6'7, but I can still somewhat relate. I used to be self-conscious about my height just because I always towered over everyone else. Eventually I just owned it and it doesn't bother me anymore. I know it is easier said than done, but you just need to accept your height and embrace it. No point being self-conscious over something you can't change.

Are there going to be women that don't want to date someone because of their height? Of course, but this doesn't mean every women feels this way. The same applies for the endowment.

Good luck and just hang in there.

So I've been carrying this chip on my shoulder that has been a hindrance to my self confidence that I wanna get rid of. I'm 5'6, with hands and feet smaller than a lot of women's, with an obvious endowment that matches said physical attributes. For this reason I feel like I don't blip too hard on the sexual radar no matter how sexy I try to carry myself. I'm at least mildly funny and entertaining to most of the people I'm around. I've got a reasonably good job, with an associates degree. I'm a fairly talented musician in 2 successful bands so I'm already doing that "working on yourself thing." I even had a great body a few years ago that I let slip because I fell in a state of apathy. It hit me one day. I'm a little man, and there's no amount of self improving that will change that. I'm not asexual as I'm definitely attracted to women but I'm writing off sex because I feel like it's something I don't get coming my way. And it's made me regress into a really weird hole for a 30 year old to be in. I can't be naturally sexy if I'm having sex with no one and I can't have that bravado and charisma if I come off like a little kid right off the bat. Anyway, thanks for listening. I have an otherwise great life but I wanna get past this self induced stigma

Dude, you're bigger than freakin' Prince, and everyone on the planet wanted to have sex with him.

You're about the same size as the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, who were drenched in the ladies.

Also, a good buddy of mine is your size all around, has a relatively crumby job and one of the hottest, smartest, wildest chicks I know is absolutely CRAZY for him. She says he's small, because he had a childhood heart defect, but "every inch of him is all MAN!" And she's right!

Your problem ain't your size, upstairs or down.

Women want fantasy, an adventure, they want you to take them someplace, does "I've got an ok job with an associates degree" sound like they're in for an adventurous life? Does that sound like your dream life? Are you settling for that, as you did with your body, with your acceptance of no-sex?

Get yourself some docs or timbs to add to your confidence. Go get yourself one badass outfit for when your band plays - something you wouldn't normally wear. Start doing something competitive, even if only with yourself, and learn to rejoice in overcoming challenges, aspiring to excellence.

FYI, there have been studies that show that men routinely underestimate the size of their own love rocket, and also that they care more than women do. There are way more important things than size, but if you're that worried about your bait'n'tackle, you can do something about it, too. There are lots of scammy things on the internets, but there are also practical things that work. Many men appear to see quick "gains" in the first few months of "P.E. training" mostly from simply stretching out some tissues and ligaments, and increasing the vascular health of their bits. Search for P.E.gym or thundersplace. If you want something with a more proven trackrecord, the same principles as "P.E." have been proven in stretching splints that could return you a few inches on your investment. Surgery is a much more invasive approach, but can substantially increase size, even if you have very small equipment.

When it comes to meeting and talking to women, there's now a whole industry of "Pick Up Artists" with materials that can help. Many of these people are horrible human beings and major a-holes - DON'T BE LIKE THEM - that's not what being a man is about either. But there's nothing wrong with working on your game a bit if it makes you feel more confident.

Anyway, it ain't your height or your polevault record that makes you a man, the kind that women will go crazy for. It's how you face challenges and make your own destiny, build a spectacular life for yourself that women will want to try to be a part of. You got a chance right now. Are you going to accept your fate, go quietly into that good a-sexual night? Or are you going to show women that 5'6 is the perfect height for a professional-grade love machine?

Think of all the famous short, skinny, fat, ugly men who have partners, usually very attractive ones at that. Nothing stopped them from dating.

From a woman's perspective biologically we are programmed to be attracted to men who are taller than ourselves. There's plenty of women who are much shorter than you. I am having dinner with 4 girlfriends tomorrow, 3 of them are under 5'1"!

As for your penis size, that's something men care about a lot more than we do. I think the average woman would prefer a smaller penis to a larger one. No fun having your cervix battered.

The most unattractive thing about you is your attitude. Learn how to fall in love with yourself and others will find it easy.

Think of all the famous short, skinny, fat, ugly men who have partners, usually very attractive ones at that. Nothing stopped them from dating.

 

From a woman's perspective biologically we are programmed to be attracted to men who are taller than ourselves. There's plenty of women who are much shorter than you. I am having dinner with 4 girlfriends tomorrow, 3 of them are under 5'1"!

 

As for your penis size, that's something men care about a lot more than we do. I think the average woman would prefer a smaller penis to a larger one. No fun having your cervix battered.

 

The most unattractive thing about you is your attitude. Learn how to fall in love with yourself and others will find it easy.

^ Amen to that.

OP most women are shorter than you and if you are willing to date a bit taller than you, you might find that taller women will date you as well. I'm 5'8" and two of my ex's were shorter than me. The last one especially had a thing for taller women and he was a blast.

It ain't your height, dude, it's your distorted attitude about yourself in particular and society at large.

Dude, you're bigger than freakin' Prince, and everyone on the planet wanted to have sex with him.

 

You're about the same size as the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, who were drenched in the ladies.

 

Also, a good buddy of mine is your size all around, has a relatively crumby job and one of the hottest, smartest, wildest chicks I know is absolutely CRAZY for him. She says he's small, because he had a childhood heart defect, but "every inch of him is all MAN!" And she's right!

 

Your problem ain't your size, upstairs or down.

 

Women want fantasy, an adventure, they want you to take them someplace, does "I've got an ok job with an associates degree" sound like they're in for an adventurous life? Does that sound like your dream life? Are you settling for that, as you did with your body, with your acceptance of no-sex?

 

Get yourself some docs or timbs to add to your confidence. Go get yourself one badass outfit for when your band plays - something you wouldn't normally wear. Start doing something competitive, even if only with yourself, and learn to rejoice in overcoming challenges, aspiring to excellence.

 

FYI, there have been studies that show that men routinely underestimate the size of their own love rocket, and also that they care more than women do. There are way more important things than size, but if you're that worried about your bait'n'tackle, you can do something about it, too. There are lots of scammy things on the internets, but there are also practical things that work. Many men appear to see quick "gains" in the first few months of "P.E. training" mostly from simply stretching out some tissues and ligaments, and increasing the vascular health of their bits. Search for P.E.gym or thundersplace. If you want something with a more proven trackrecord, the same principles as "P.E." have been proven in stretching splints that could return you a few inches on your investment. Surgery is a much more invasive approach, but can substantially increase size, even if you have very small equipment.

 

When it comes to meeting and talking to women, there's now a whole industry of "Pick Up Artists" with materials that can help. Many of these people are horrible human beings and major a-holes - DON'T BE LIKE THEM - that's not what being a man is about either. But there's nothing wrong with working on your game a bit if it makes you feel more confident.

 

Anyway, it ain't your height or your polevault record that makes you a man, the kind that women will go crazy for. It's how you face challenges and make your own destiny, build a spectacular life for yourself that women will want to try to be a part of. You got a chance right now. Are you going to accept your fate, go quietly into that good a-sexual night? Or are you going to show women that 5'6 is the perfect height for a professional-grade love machine?

Some very good points here but just personally, I don't think you should have surgery on your penis. I'm a big fan of natural and I don't like women with fake breasts either. I don't know if you've noticed, but many women have very low self-esteem too. I think surveys showed that more than 50% of women don't like their body. So, trust me, rather than judging your appearance, women are probably too busy judging themselves! I used to hate my body, had anorexia and lost a huge amount of weight, but even then still thought I was fat and ugly. Now I'm overweight again and though I'm still a bit self-conscious, overall I've learnt to like myself way more and I don't mind that I have small breasts or I'm chubby. So what! Nobody is perfect. I don't know about all women but I personally could not care less about height or penis size. It's hard enough to find someone compatible as it is without rejecting someone because of some minor thing like that. I think many other women would probably feel the same. Are you actually trying to date women or you've shut yourself off because of your insecurities? I think if you actually did put yourself out there, women would have sex with you.

Matt.

"Trust this 1993 study, published in the way-too-entertaingly-titled Annals of Sex Research, which found that there was basically no connection between height and penis size. But also, seriously, trust me. No connection at all."

5'6" isn't that small. I know plenty of guys smaller than that who have no problems attracting ladies. I have very long hands, as long as most men's - and I've never met anyone bothered about it.

Having a great sense of humour is an aphrodisiac. So is being a musician. If you want to start working out again to feel better about yourself, that's a great idea. Other than that, you've got lots going for you - and the only downer in your life is the negative self-talk. This is likely to be picked up unconsciously by people you meet, and they'll back off.

(Personally, I think we should all look at ourselves in the mirror first thing and repeat "You are gorgeous and wonderful and I love you just the way you are!")

Bruce Lee was 5'7". Make the most of who you are.

]

Being a 5'6 man isn't a problem...if you're rich and famous. For those of us who aren't, well, yes, it's definitely a problem. That's sort of like saying, "Ehh, I don't need a job, I can always win the lottery." That just isn't a realistic solution for the average person, and it certainly isn't much of an example to hold up.

Please note that the people who are telling you that it isn't a problem are people who aren't in your situation.

One final note: a short man or an overweight woman can have the best attitude in the world, and they'll still be passed up for someone who lacks the physical "problem" but has the same positive attitude...or lacks it. Put an average guy in a room with a down-to-earth overweight woman and a high-maintenance beauty, and who do you think he'll go after?

My boyfriend is 5'6" (I am 5'5") and he's the sexiest man I have ever been with, hands down. He's also the best lover I've ever had. Far better than my 6' ex-husband.

"According to the table below, the tallest men on average are from the Netherlands, standing at 6ft (1.83m) tall. The shortest men are from Indonesia, standing at 5ft 2in (1.58m). "

Please note that the people who are telling you that it isn't a problem are people who aren't in your situation.

The OP's real problem is the negative self-talk, which would make anyone unattractive. Haven't you ever seen people who are objectively good-looking, tall, well-dressed... but are somehow not attractive?

I know I have...

Fully agree, Nutbrown.

I've also seen and met the tall types, and some are indeed not attractive at all. and of course many are attractive, in the same way as many (perceived) short guys are.

"Here's a common one: "I like to wear heels, so if you're under (insert desired height) swipe left." And it's not even just requests for guys who are slightly taller -- in some cases it's pushed to the statistical edges of male height. Demanding that any suitors be taller than 6'3" is a rather limiting request considering the average male height in the US tops out around 5'10".

"It’s mind-boggling," says Gerard, 31, who is 5'10". "You see these women who are overweight and unattractive clamoring for a tall man on their profiles, but I can’t ask that the girl be attractive or under a certain weight.”

I see there is a U.K. dating site called "Shorter Singles".....

The OP's real problem is the negative self-talk, which would make anyone unattractive.

No, it isn't.

Haven't you ever seen people who are objectively good-looking, tall, well-dressed... but are somehow not attractive?

 

I know I have...

No, I haven't. Granted, I'm not attracted to height, so I don't really pay attention to it.

Being a 5'6 man isn't a problem...if you're rich and famous. For those of us who aren't, well, yes, it's definitely a problem. That's sort of like saying, "Ehh, I don't need a job, I can always win the lottery." That just isn't a realistic solution for the average person, and it certainly isn't much of an example to hold up.

 

Please note that the people who are telling you that it isn't a problem are people who aren't in your situation.

 

One final note: a short man or an overweight woman can have the best attitude in the world, and they'll still be passed up for someone who lacks the physical "problem" but has the same positive attitude...or lacks it. Put an average guy in a room with a down-to-earth overweight woman and a high-maintenance beauty, and who do you think he'll go after?

Thanks for that....Yeah I am a bit overweight and have always been ignored by guys in favour of my skinny pretty best friend. Thanks for rubbing it in. However I still believe that not all people are shallow. I do see guys with an overweight woman and women with a shorter guy. I still do believe there is someone out there for everyone. Obviously you would go for the hotter woman but I've seen guys with an overwright woman so personality obviously matters to them more than looks.

Thank you guys so much! I feel a lot better putting this whole thing into perspective. Every one of you are absolutely right and feministdude you are ABSOLUTELY right. I'll go work on myself with the only endgame being self fulfillment and hopefully relationships and women will be a by product of that. Again thank you everyone for the fresh perspectives

Thanks for that....Yeah I am a bit overweight and have always been ignored by guys in favour of my skinny pretty best friend. Thanks for rubbing it in. However I still believe that not all people are shallow. I do see guys with an overweight woman and women with a shorter guy. I still do believe there is someone out there for everyone. Obviously you would go for the hotter woman but I've seen guys with an overwright woman so personality obviously matters to them more than looks.

I was dating a woman who was a bit overweight but I thought she was beautiful. She too had a very low self esteem and didn't think she was as pretty as her friend, who was honestly pretty hot, but when I was hanging out with my girlfriend that hot girl didn't register. There was no way I could ever convince her that I wanted her more. To this day she was one of the best peopleI ever dated