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Let's say you break NC and give her a call.How will you feel when the conversation is over? You have nothing to gain by contacting her. Self control is a virtue.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.I've been through the exact same thing.I think I've become sort of an expert on post breakup behavior since then.So here is what I think. She more than likely was seeing this guy long before she dumped you.People take a long time to build up the courage to can someone after seven years toghether.She waited until she had a comfortable, emotinal saftey net, before she finally did it. You have to start NC and stick with it.I know how difficult that can be.If you feel yourself getting weak,call a friend,post here, or go and dig a hole in your backyard,anything is better than contacing her.You will see why in due time. The only reason she is being mean to you, is because she is giving herself bogus reasons to be mad at you, because that makes all this easier on her. Please stop blaming yourself,you look very weak to her right now and she is losing more and more respect for you everytime you come of as a weak man. I think you should stick with NC as much as possible,and when you do have to talk with her, be nonchalant, as if you don't really care anymore and it's her loss. I've been in your exact same position my friend,I did all the retarted things you are doing.Heed my advice,you will thank yourself later. goodluck. your friend ,andy

rsxguy520, that is awesome what you are doing.Sitck with it and you'll be amazed at where you will be in a couple of year's. If there is anything I can ever do to help,please let me know. Juliania, I would like to be her friend,I really would,but I still can't find myself able to forgive her.The way she did me was ice cold.Maybe someday..maybe.... Peace out,Andy

I wrote this thread for everybody that got totally screwed over by their ex.It is proof that if you do what is right,learn from your breakup, and work to be the best person you can be,thing's will work out in your favor. It does take time though.I remember a few month's after the breakup,I was reading threads on here,and 1 year seemed like a life time.I could hardly make it through a day. Let me tell you it goes fast.The trick is,you got to stay busy. Anyway...I'm going to make a long story real short. The love of my life took a big crap on me and dumped me about 1 1/2 year's ago, after a 3yr relationship.I cried everyday and posted here for a good six month's. Other than moping around and feeling sorry for myself,I spent all my free time making my life better. I took some classes, landed a sweet job, and moved to Florida.(Me and my ex alway's talked about moving out of the cold midwest together.I like it here by myself.)It took a long tme,I just got here about 3 month's ago. Not long after I moved, I heard from a friend back home that she was talking about me,saying thing's like "I'm so happy for him","I loved that kid","I was young when all that happened." Feeling cocky and confident, I sent her a post card of my new home on the beach.With a equally cocky message that said "This is where I'm living.Stay warm!" It was a petty thing to do,I know,but I had to do it. About three weeks later I got a letter form her.It didnt say much, I tossed it out and went to the beach. Three week's after that she call's.I must admit it was nice to talk to her.It was great telling her about my sweet crib on the beach,my killer new job and all the cool places I've been to in the last year. She told me she is still living with her parent's and not making more than $200 a week.She told me where she hang's out at now,and who she hang's out with.I know the places, they are dives,and the people are loser's. Then I hear from my friends that she is doing coke now and sleeping with everybody. That broke my heart,I know she didn't leave me to be living the life that she is living now. Thing's havent worked out for her the way she thought they would.I remember her telling me how she was going to get a apartment all by herself,get a new car,blah blah blah.She hasnt done any of the thing's she said she was going to do. I think it goes to show you that if you screw people over, due to your own selfishness, you get what is coming to you. Having said that,I can now now say I've had my revenge.I pray she get's her stuff together. All in all, everything has reversed.She left me because she said she could do better.Yea...Ok.. Peace out,Andy

I like to bump this thread up once and awhile for all the new people.

There is nothing you can really do other than tough it out my friend. Take time and work on yourself,it will really make you feel better.Figure out who your true friend's are and spend time with them.You will feel better,I promise. And for god's sake stay off of myspace.You know better than that.

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Sometime's when we are dealt a difficult situation, that involves someone we love,we tend to not see thing's for what they are. If you can put yourself in my shoes, or the shoes of anyone of the members here reading your post, I think the answer to your question is quite obvious. That said get an attorney.

Trust me there are altieor motive's behind them asking you out to do "stuff". Like I've said, I've seen alot of this and the girl's are alway's nieve to it. So don't feel bad. The girl's always say "Oh there just being nice" yea there being nice alright.They have to be.

There inviting you out because they are trying to nail you.Sorry I have to be so blunt but that is the truth.I've seen it a thousand time's.

I think the reason's she is giving you are bogus.She is just trying to let you down easy.I know that is not what you want to hear but that is what girls usually do.I've seen it a thousand times. My advice to you is to go NC and stick with it.My guess here is you became a supplicating wuss over time and girls hate that. I'm just giving you the common fact's about situation's like this.Take a hard look at yourself and learn all you can from this experience.What you learn from this will be invauluable in the future. Remember,everything happen's for a reason. good luck,Andy

R.C hit it right on the money.The absoulte last thing you want to do is come of as insecure.Be strong and portray to her that you are confident in yourself, and you KNOW she would never ditch you for this guy unless she was crazy.A real woman want's a real man.

It sounds to me like he want's to be single and do his own thing, but he want's to make sure you don't go to far in case he want's to come back. In a case like this the solution is simple.Don't answer his call's and act as if he is the last thing on your mind.It's ok to talk to him but make every contact on your schedule and your term's.That way you take the power away from him and you have totall control.If he doesnt bite and you lose him,big deal then you know you never had anything anyway.

I see...Thanks for the advice.It's great to get a woman's input.But I think I'm just going to leave her alone.Thanks again,your friend Andy

Hey Crazyaboutdogs thanks for the reply,but one question.Why would "I only want the best for you" be interpreted as a total blow off.I don't get it. And helloladies,I loved the "keep trying and one of them will stick" comment.I laughed out loud. Goodluck out there buddy.

(you can look up my old threads for the backround info) I was sitting at home one day about 2 months ago when I get a phone call from my ex's brother.Me and him were best friends for like 10yrs.I hadent heard from him since me and his sister broke up.He ask's me if I want to go do something.I was very surprised by the sound of his voice and politely told him I had stuff to do.He knew I was lying and persisted.I caved and we went and hit some golf balls.We talked and caught up on things.Later that night he took me out for steaks and martini's.After dinner we went to a strip club.(real male bonding stuff)We talked alot about everything.Then out of nowhere he say's. Him think she really misses you man. Me hell with her, she totaly used me. Him on dude you know thats not true shes not that clever. Me I guess Him I told her I was going to see you she had this look on her face that said it all.I think you guy's should get back together.I don't see her going anywhere without you. He went on to say how she isnt doing much and that he thinks she is really deppressed.I told him if there was any chance of there being anytype of relationship I would at least have to talk to her.I havent heard a peep out of her in 10 months. He asked what my plans where for the following night.I told him I had tickets to a concert."No way" he said "she is gonna be there. On the way home that night we were just like the friends we had always been.Laughing and joking,having the best time.Then he say's "Would you want to be the godfather to my baby."(his girlfriend at the time was 9 months pregnant)I was taken aback at the question.I told him fi he was really serious to ask me another time when we were sober. To me that is a big commitment and I didnt feel prepared to answer the question.Did he take me out just to ask me this?Or is this the result of to many martini's and the type of male bonding that only goes on at the strip club?I thought to myself. I told him to really think about what he was asking me and if he was serious to ask me again another time.We left it at that and I dropped him off. The next night I'm at the concert.I'm having agood time chatting it up with these 2 girls I'd just met when I feel a tap on my shoulder.I turn around and there she is.Smiling wide she says "hi!" with her arms cocked back ready to give me a hug.At the sight of her I kinda froze up.My body language was completley closed off to her.We chatted for like 10 seconds.She told me she wanted to talk to me and not to move.She had to catch up with her friends and then she'd be right back.She scurried away with her head down obviously disappointed with how the interaction went.I had totally blown her off and at the moment I felt good about it.I grabed my new friends and suggested we move and we did.I didnt see her after that. When I saw he it was like seeing a ghost.And as much as I really wanted to be nice to her and give her a big hug I just couldnt do it.Standing there was somebody that hurt me more than I have ever been hurt in my life.At that moment, when I saw her, I got tunnel vison and my adrenilin spiked.It was like the feeling you get right before getting into a fight. A week later to my surprise she call's.We talk for about 15 minutes and just caught up on stuff.At one point she asked me if I'd like to go get a drink sometime.I wavered at the question and then before I could answer she said "well maybe thats not a good idea.After that I told her I had to get back to work and I cut the call short. I didnt hear from her or her brother for about 4 weeks after that.In that time I started to really think alot about her.And I felt bad for blowing her off the way I did.Up until that point I had still thought about her everyday but now it was everyday all day again.By now I was sure her brother had to have had his baby.I called her to get his number and more than anything I wanted her to know in a roundabout way that I didnt mean to be a jerk and that I wanted to be cool. Well when I called she was a totall * * * * * from start to finish after about 1min and 30sec long conversation I hung up the phone and started to cry.I don't know why.Iwas just really hurt.I couldnt believe how mean and rude she was. A week later her brother finally had his baby.I went to see him and told him about me and her interaction's since the last time I saw him.All he really had to say was "I bet you guy's get back together"That didnt make any more sense then than it does now. A few weeks after that I talked myself in to sending her a short letter.It basically said "I hope your well","I never wanted anything but the best for you" and I hope we can be friends again someday". That was over a month ago now and I never heard back.I talked to her brother once since then.I don't think he is going to ask me to be the godfather.And I don't think I'll ever hear from her again. I just feel bad about all this.I think maybe I should of said yes to being the baby's godfather.And I wish I wouldnt have nbeen such a jerk to her at first.Ive dated a bunch of girls since her but none come close to moving me the way she did.I have alot of friends but none I click with like I do with him. I feel guilty and I would just like some thoughts and opinions. Thanks everybody,Andy_stone