Women go for personality over looks ?

[onlineguy]

Hi guys.

 

I read somewhere that unlike guys who are very visual and go for looks, then personality. Women on the other hand are more atracted to a guys personality than his looks ?

 

So a question for the femails out there, is this true ?

 

Also we all like to be found atractive by the opposite sex, it makes us feel good. But we want to be desired / attactive to someone who is of value to us.

 

In the case of guys a good looking girl with a good friendly nice personality.

 

But in the case of women, what traits are considered to be of value to a girl, so that she will want the guy to find her attractive and see him as a boyfriend prospect. As opposed to just a nice guy ?

 

What makes him more of value to her than anyone else ?

[blue-eyedspacemonkey]

See, I go for personality over looks all the time. There are people I've fallen for and, if I just passed them in the street, I wouldn't give them a second glance, but, because I've got to know them and they have a great personality I'm like, 'yeah, you're quite atrractive to me now'

 

I think all women are different in terms of what floats their boat. In my case it's (in no particular order):

Intelligence, with the ability to hold a good convo

The ability to make me laugh with him, not as much at him

Kindness/generosity

things like that.

 

Hope this helps!

[lizziebee]

Personality is what will get me every time....AND VIP a fantastic sense of humor! The best looking guy in the world could saunter over, open his mouth to speak and all I hear is white noise... communication is sexy, the how the why and the way you do it is what attracts people and keeps them interested. I have seriously dated fat guys, bald guys, old guys and all of them were funny and witty, in tune with what was going on in the world, loving and sweet, and in short, they were interesting. The best way to meet the person you think you seek is to not put a "face" on them before you meet them...

[annie24]

i don't think that you can generalize 50% of the population. everyone is different. I'd say that I still go for looks first, then personality. i mean, both are very important, but if i don't like the way a guy looks, there is no shot at a romance. even if he is the greatest guy ever.

[Batya33]

I agree with the others - personality enhances looks or detracts from it. In addition to a man of character and integrity (and compassion) I also go for extremely bright (socially, academically, emotionally, common sense-wise, the package), witty (a sense of humor compatible with mine - we "get" each other), reasonably confident/assertive, someone who likes banter, someone cultured, sophisticated, and someone with a bit of a "dares to be different" streak.

 

"nice" and "friendly" sounds a bit too much to me like a warm puppy. I like someone who keeps me on my toes a bit and who wants me to keep him on his toes.

 

As far as the "above all others" that is all about the click - chemistry in your personalities - as opposed to "hmm, he is brighter/funnier/friendlier than the other guys" - that can be difficult to quantify - or impossible -- and really it's irrelevant.

[RogerRamjet]

i don't think that you can generalize 50% of the population. everyone is different. I'd say that I still go for looks first, then personality. i mean, both are very important, but if i don't like the way a guy looks, there is no shot at a romance. even if he is the greatest guy ever.

 

Which is why, if a girl does not immediately show signs of interest in you, she never will. I mean she might, but to get to that point will be pushing * * * * up hill.

 

The world never rewards hard work it will reward smart work. Be smart !!!

[arwen]

Intelligence, humor, committed, passionate... looks are also important but it's so subjective. I would never have even kissed one man that chased me for a while in the past, while most girls would almost faint when seeing him

 

 

 

Arwen

[RayKay]

I have to be attracted to him - but what "look" attracts me will not be what attracts another. I don't go for "model-types" at all for example. I actually prefer men with some quirk about them that makes them unique physically for example.

 

But, yes, personality is #1 for me. Whatever a man looks like, his personality is what enhances of detracts the attractiveness. Intelligence, humour, respect, positivity, these are all things that go towards attraction for me plus many more! I like people with their own mind, opinions, curiosity and so on.

 

If someone is ugly on the inside in how they treat others, or just someone whom drags you down when around....it won't work. Even if they are supposedly physically attractive.

[Daligal83]

I think the thing with a lot of women is that our attraction to a guy can change..or maybe that's just me. Everyone has an immediate level of attraction when you first meet, but at least for me that level can change depending on the guy's personality. Like some other posters said, you can find a guy really attractive right off the bat, but if as soon as he speaks he's a jerk or not very intelligent or too full of himself, he definitely won't be as attractive. It works the other way too.

[Northalius]

If this is true, then I truly must be a rare breed of straight male. lol

 

I was just watching a video on a forum of this girl who was really humorous, acted cute, and other traits I like in a woman; but physically, she was not on the same level as the personality, at least compared to what most who watched the video said. They actually said she was ugly; she had these weird 1950s styled glasses on (I can see past glasses...), and they said she had a bigger nose than usual, etc. etc.

 

But, I didn't say she was ugly. I thought they were ignorant for saying such a thing. Now, obviously, I'll be totally honest, she wasn't a Jennifer Aniston, but her personality made me really like her a lot. She wasn't ugly, but maybe a bit below average. Still, again, her personality is what made her shine, and I'd have not minded going out on a date with her at all, if there was the chance to.

 

It's all in how you word it, as well. If statistics truly do show that a majority of men will pick looks over personality, then instead of bluntly stating "Men go for looks, women go for personality.", it'd be better to say "According to a pole, the majority of men choose looks over personality; whereas women look more for personality, over looks. Keep in mind, not all women and men! But just a majority! And just because a majority, doesn't have to mean overwhelming majority! It could be 55% or 60%; thus, 40-45% of 2-3 billion is still a lot of men and women that say differently!"

 

 

 

A physically very attractive woman with a snobby, stuckup, mean attitude, will make me turn the other way in a heartbeat. It literally makes her look ugly to me, if her personality is ugly. That's just how I am.

[v8vachon]

I have never been attracted to the outside as much as i become attracted to the inside of a man.

If he makes me laugh.. he can win my heart easily.

If he laughs at himself.. he can make me melt.

.. and if his smile sparkles while he's doing both of those.. im in love!

I look at the windows of the soul.. his eyes and his smile.

I've dated every shape and color of men and those have been the ones who trully have won me over.

Now some women are shallow and only go for looks, will not give the average guy the time of day.. but she would not be worth their time anyway.

[Northalius]

Now some women are shallow and only go for looks, will not give the average guy the time of day.. but she would not be worth their time anyway.

 

Exactly.

 

It's a good way to make a negative into a positive! And it's really true, too!

[Iwantittoend]

I think initially girls look for good looking people, but then when they find one with a good personality and caring heart, it wins them over.

 

My girlfriend told me that when she first moved up here she met a guy that was cute, but he was real jerk. So she never dated him. They're still friends but nothing more. When she met me, I had looks and a caring heart. I'm always there for her and that's all she needs.

[ghost69]

i must always have some physical attraction. if i find out later that the personality sucks, that is a major turnoff. women do like looks, don't let anybody tell you different. they have to be attracted to their man. i've heard all the bs from women. they don't approach ugly guys thinking they are 'nice'.

 

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[v8vachon]

I think initially girls look for good looking people, but then when they find one with a good personality and caring heart, it wins them over.

 

Not nescessarily true.. not all women. My highschool sweetheart (14 yrs ago) was 300 lbs..I weighed 100 lbs he made me laugh, he had some cute ways about him, I fell head over heals in love.

He was the hottest thing in my world and I just loved everything about him.

[Batya33]

Not nescessarily true.. not all women. My highschool sweetheart (14 yrs ago) was 300 lbs..I weighed 100 lbs he made me laugh, he had some cute ways about him, I fell head over heals in love.

He was the hottest thing in my world and I just loved everything about him.

 

Same experiences here.

[v8vachon]

Thanks Northalius and Batya for the high fives! ..lol

Seriously, a man 's heart wins EVERYTIME.. looks only last so long before realizing that wow.. this person is not all i thought they were, they have flaws like everyone else.

Now that i think of it, all the hot guys I've ever dated were morans..selfish, stuck on themselves and thought they were God's gift to women.. not God's gift to me.

I think though, and this may be another thread..lol.. that there is a double standard for women and it's unfair, women have to maintain their looks even after marriage in fear that their husbands will leave them for the younger, thinner college freshman. When the men can sit around and grow a beer belly and we are supposed to accept them.. WHATS UP WITH THAT PEOPLE!!!!..lol

[ghost69]

well, i would never grow a beer belly. i have vowed to keep my body in shape for life. i look for a woman that wants the same for herself. it is a very commendible thing to stay in shape and it is something i am attracted to in a woman. if my (future) wife did that, i would have no reason to ever leave. besides, when i get married it is only once. no divorce will happen. i will make sure that it is the person that fits best for me and that i fit for her.

 

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[RogerRamjet]

well, i would never grow a beer belly. i have vowed to keep my body in shape for life. i look for a woman that wants the same for herself. it is a very commendible thing to stay in shape and it is something i am attracted to in a woman. if my (future) wife did that, i would have no reason to ever leave. besides, when i get married it is only once. no divorce will happen. i will make sure that it is the person that fits best for me and that i fit for her.

 

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I work with containers @ approx 25kg lifting. I find at the end of a shift I am simply too tired phydically to work out. So I never do. thereforeeee, my body shape is not what is considered athletic, I have a fair amount of body fat and a beer belly. I am very hungry after a shift and I eat alot and I do not have the time or energy to burn it off with cardio.

 

One could not argue that I am physically unfit, however my body shape is in question, I've noticed this receives a negative reaction from women. Particlarily it seems women tend to favour the slender unmuscular men with very low fat content.

 

Something which is unatainable to me.

 

I don't know what women think, but i do not that when my body shape was more towards the track athlete, not that it ever was that good just more in that direction, I revieved MUCH MUCH more female attention than what I do now. Now that I have attained a different type of fittness. Lets face it, I am FAT.

[ghost69]

sorry to hear that roger. wish you could find the energy to make your body the way you want it. but i have never heard a woman watch a movie with brad pitt and not comment on him. or something like lord of the rings and say that even though the dwarf is funny that he is hot. they all comment on the elf guy.

 

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[RogerRamjet]

MATE, its just the way I want it. I was just trying to point out, its not how women want it !!

 

personality relects on your looks, ok so why can't the way you look reflect on your personality ?

 

i will never find the energy, running 8 kilometres a day is too much for my liking

[Leonhart]

Well, overall men value looks more than women do, but that doesn't mean women don't care about looks. They care, just not to the extent that men do. So if women care about it 80% of the time, men care about it 100% (not actual numbers, just an example I made up.) If women cared 100% of the time, men would care 120%. I know, I know.

[copag]

the way i see its true that men are in to looks more. but looks can only take a person so far. this women ive fallen for she is an atrctive women but i really didnt think much of when i first met her. the more and more i got to know her ther more and more atracted she became. looks are normaly the initial atraction but the personality is what keep ya.

[cpc28655]

There are going to be people (men and women) that go for looks while ignoring personality, and vice versa. However, I think that these are rare, extreme cases.

 

I believe for the most part, people look for a balance between physical attractiveness and compatible personality. The good news is that everybody is a "perfect 10" to somebody, somewhere.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I think everybody falls for a good looking person and prays that they have just enough Anti Jerk Tonic in their medicine cabinet. This is that so they can tolerate them as they stare into their dreamy bedroom eyes. If the tonic runs out and this luscious vision turns out to be a moron, his jerkiness transforms into a mere "bad quality" that all of his wonderful qualities outweigh. As long as he looks good, he's got it made in the shade. If he's ugly, he's walking on egg shells.

 

My feet have yolk stuck to them.