arwen
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Everything posted by arwen
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Is leaving a Commitment Phobic a form of manipulation?
arwen replied to Luciana's topic in Relationship Advice
Moderator note: this topic is 5 years old!- 9 replies
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- commitment
- marriage
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I'm impressed.
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This should be put to music. It's beautiful.
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Counting the tears
arwen replied to floating_away's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
You should make a book with these poems and illustrations... From pain to beauty. -
Left holding the rose
arwen replied to floating_away's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
You should do it more often. Such a talent is really rare. -
Left holding the rose
arwen replied to floating_away's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
You're very talented. I love that drawing. And the poem too. -
What is the best way to make a budget so I can save money?
arwen replied to ilovecats's topic in Career, Money and Education
Well, privacy is the last thing I'd give up for money, but if it's the last thing possible, sure. I lived with housemates but in a room with my own facilities for 9 years prior to moving in with my bf. The thread is old, lol... two years ago I was without job for a month, now I am working and living together, and I am proud of my savings account! -
My meth addict sister is pregnant - again!
arwen replied to AwdreeHpburn's topic in Parenting and Families
just a note: this thread is almost 2 years old. -
You are talented. The poem is very structured, yet not sought for at all. As if the words just 'rolled' out of you.
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You were not my fate
arwen replied to AnotherBrokenDoll's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
It should be a lyrics of a beautiful song. Love it. -
The Consequences Of Anorexia
arwen replied to sarey's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
Oh don't apologize to me sweetie! I have learned a LOT from that time and still learn from it! I find it a good poem and think it's good for you to write things down. I hope it's true that you are not anorexic- but please know that admitting to a problem is the first step. PM me if you have any specific questions, or need to talk, ok? arwen -
The Consequences Of Anorexia
arwen replied to sarey's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
Unfortunately it reminds me of a dark past- I have been anorexic for some years in my teens. If this is about you, it is my hope that you will believe me on my word that life is worth the weight so to say. That once you start climbing back UP, both weight-wise and life-wise, you will feel the energy, the warmth of life. It is scary but it's also so much better. I think you are smart, talented and have a great potential. Keep on writing. arwen -
Hahaha at 15 NO one needs to worry about wrinkles. That starts around my age I guess I find it so great that some people (definitely not me as a prose-person) can create poetry out of events in life. Have you thought about writing poetry and put them to music? Your verses have a good metrical structure. Arwen
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I get that too and I REALLY don't understand. I was in a 'real' LDR for four months, it was accross countries and separated by 1500 km. THAT, we both couldn't do, so we decided to part ways. My current bf of over a year is a former housemate of mine. I got a job in another town, and moved 200 km away. We have the possibility to work at home, we both work on our PhD research. Still we mostly see each other in weekends, and sometimes yeah, two weeks will pass if he's abroad or me. As long as you are ok with it, and you are both happy, don't pay attention to what others are saying. Or take it as a compliment: they must think it requires a lot of love and commitment to be in this kind of relationship. I think if people have not experienced how feelings can overrule possible inconveniences such as distance, it's hard to understand. Arwen
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I have been through a couple of break ups, and went automatically in NC. I simply refused to speak to someone who hurt me that way. I think that the hardest thing for me was that NC made me unaware of what he was doing. That meant that during the worst break up I didn't even want to go into town for shopping alone, normally I'd know where he was, but now I risked seeing him. Having written this, I can see how many of my past problems come down to some insane control-urge Arwen
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Hey, I think that it's fairly normal to have to get used to these things. I think it's good to discuss this with him, as soon as possible. Because I think that it is not such a big deal as long as you communicate (otherwise this could lead to a huge annoyance and you not being able to enjoy a night out with the girls!). I think that sometimes it's good to just say 'I'll call when I am at home, and if it's late I will just send you a text'. If calling in makes you feel suffocated, it's good to discuss your boundaries now that they are showing up. He has his own social life as well, right? Just ask him how he feels about calling and agreeing on times to come home. Maybe he feels the same and the two of you got into a habit that doesn't agree with either of you. Arwen
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- girlfriend
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Hey mango, I think you don't need to tell him about the faking. Honestly, I faked sometimes and it was just because I could feel 'the O' was not gonna happen. The need to 'peak' is different between men and women. I can have very good times without the O, it's not the goal of everytime I have sex with my bf. But of course, most of the times it's nice if it happens! I think that it would definitely crush his ego, but also because he probably doesn't understand that sex is still 'nice' for you without the 'O' (I assume you enjoy it but something is just missing, if HE would not orgasm I think that would be a terrible thought to him but I am not a man so it's hard to imagine. In addition men are different as well, so generalizing is a bit dangerous Anyway, have you tried oral? Why don't you give him hints while being kind of 'excited' about it (encourage him when it starts to feel like the O may arrive things like that? Or... buy toys, just for fun and have him play with it. Durex has a vibrations ring that is kind of fun. He puts it around his penis, and and there is a part that vibrates, that is designed to reach your clitoris. Sounds good, huh? Well, I tried and it's a bit strange in the beginning lol. It's worth a try though!!! Another thing, why not touch yourself until you're almost there (he can watch... ) and have him finish the job? Arwen
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Hey girl, I think that for most people, a 'deepdown realisation' can come with an odd sense of peace. It's because if you know deep inside that things just end here, you know where your boundaries lie, where you want to be. That at least feels better than NOT knowing, although the consequences will be scary as well. It will mean a separation or even divorce. I think that if you KNOW that this is what is needed for you to be happy, that you should proceed from there. You want to live close to your family and create a stable and warm home for your son. You WILL be ok, but of course it will not be easy all the way. I think that you can learn to love yourself and your own company by creating a situation in which that is your only option. I also think that if you know deep inside that ending your relationship is better for you, that you are already there for a part. It means that you love yourself, someone who doesn't love him/herself will more likely make choices to please others and not themselves. Does that make sense? Hug, Arwen
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Sleeping in the same bed at start of relationship
arwen replied to Karhu's topic in Relationship Advice
I had two long term relationships-- one that ended 3 years ago and one that I am still happily in (one year now). In the first I was a virgin, and we started to sleep together (SLEEP not SEX lol) after a week or so, with clothes on because I was so nervous... we spent the whole night listening to Ravel's Daphnis et Cloé, it was one of the most romantic nights in my life. Sexual things came only after 7 months, real sex after a year. Things went faster with my current man, we spent the first nights cuddling, but proceeded to some heated fooling around soon enough lol. I still like the actual sleeping/cuddling even more than sex. Well. Not really, but without the cuddling, waking up together, just feeling his sleeping body against mine, the actual sex would just mean less I think Arwen -
Wow... that is not a good relationship move. But I think it would even be more stupid if someone would actually follow this request and give up his dream. How does your friend feel about it? Arwen
- 24 replies
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- love
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the dreaded were on a break for now thing!
arwen replied to SeaBisquit's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Hey girl, Well, you can't turn back time. You are genuinely sorry, and unfortunately you can just give him time now. I don't know if the relationship can grow past this, I really hope for you it will. I think it's very hard if you are a trustworthy person and get accused of something you'd never do. Just give him time. Maybe write him a letter in a while, in which you describe all you are feeling about the situation and that you understand you are the last person he wants to see. Then write him that you'd really want to work through things if he wants to, and that you will leave him alone if he wants that. Arwen -
the dreaded were on a break for now thing!
arwen replied to SeaBisquit's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Hey girl, I think that a lot happened in a short time here. How long were you together before he moved in and how old are you guys? Your friend pulling a trick like that is REALLY childish. She is not your friend. I can imagine that your bf is really upset about what happened, he was falsely accused of cheating, then punched and kicked out of the house. If I were you I'd leave it for a bit to give him some time. Are you still friends with the girl who started this? Frankly I think you should explicitly end this friendship. Arwen -
Ooops. Well, don't worry. Good thing you didn't pick up the phone. Who cares about what your ex thinks. Or his brother. Let him worry about that.
- 25 replies
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- getting back with ex
- ex
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