Women go for personality over looks ?

[onlineguy]

You cannot understand women do not even try. They will tell you looks don't matter but they will talk amongst themselves about how cute some guy is. They will date moslty good anglo looking men and won't admit that they like the fact he is good looking. It makes them feel guilty to say they like men to be good looking becaue they do not want to be judged in the same way they feel more conscious about their looks than men do so do not like to think there looks will matters a lot. So it makes them feel better if they say they do not think looks matter.

 

Some will say the truth that personality matters but looks do matter also if you;re not atleast good looking, good looking women won;t want you.

 

Simple as that

 

Exactly : That is what I have found, Its all good and well them falling for your personality, which needs to happen for a relationship to last. But women will not give you a chance to show your personality if they dont find you good looking.

 

Why dont women say it as it is !

[Batya33]

Of course looks matter but what is good looking to one might not be to another. A friend of mine showed me a picture of a man she is crazy about. She gives it to me with a broad smile. It is him on a beach, bare chested, definitely works out - and I suppose some would say he is a good looking guy. Did nothing for me and particularly because I thought it was silly of her to presume that I would be interested in seeing a picture of a man she is crazy about (I didn't ask to see it). She obviously thinks looks are a top priority and that based on a photo I am going to be impressed with her choice. I am not like that and most of my friends are not like that.

 

I don't remember the last time I asked a friend of mine if a man she was newly dating was cute or what he looked like. It really wouldn't occur to me - I definitely ask about him - interests, what he does for a living, sense of humor, etc. but not looks. When I was a teenager, early 20s absolutely yes.

 

I have to be attracted to the person. Looks are a part of that but only a part - and I don't care whether his looks are conventionally good looking or otherwise - it's just part of the attraction factor. I have dated men who are short, balding, overweight -- all of those typical cliche factors that are not conventionally "attractive." Who cares about convention - I just care about our mutual chemistry. At least in my social circles, looks are not prized - it's character, ambition, sense of humor.

[CaptainPlanet]

Of course looks matter

 

There you have it. Glad we agree.

[ghost69]

real tough chick. like in the warriors movie. lol

[iwishiknew]

If you're finding that, would you consider dating women, instead? I stopped dating boys in high school.

 

Yes, I would love to date a women but I have tried and no luck yet.

[ghost69]

you should act like you don't care about how you look then. it's a sign of confidence. i'm not talking dress like a bum though.

[cara223]

Exactly : That is what I have found, Its all good and well them falling for your personality, which needs to happen for a relationship to last. But women will not give you a chance to show your personality if they dont find you good looking.

 

Why dont women say it as it is !

 

 

Okay here it is guys, honest and fair like you want it:

 

THIS IS TRUE FOR GUYS AND GIRLS ALIKE. DO NOT try to deny it, because you all know it's true.

 

Every single person takes looks into account when they first meet a person unless they are blind. Someone who is more physically attracting will of course be more attracted to by others. It's true, but it is not LOOKS that draw people in. It's how you hold yourselves. Not to be harsh, i am just being bluntly honest, but it seems that you guys here have become a little overridden with jealously because you see guys get girls all the time and you don't understand why you can't get them too! Your a nice guy! You want girls to realize that even if your not as good looking as that guy over there, that you have a MUCH better personality than he does! the thing is that you guys need a major confidence boost. yeah, sure, you may be no brad pitt but i garuntee that if you walk in a room believing you do, you will get much more attention. now im not saying that you should act like your hot * * * *, but be confident in yourself. so what? you may not be all that good looking,b ut if you let your personality shine with a burst of confidence and your true personality, you'll be taking all the girls from mr GQ over there. Physical attraction is needed in all relationships, and that doesn't have anything to do with looks. GUYS ATTRACT GIRLS WITH LOOKS. GUYS GET RELATIONSHIPS WITH PERSONALITY.

[iwishiknew]

you should act like you don't care about how you look then. it's a sign of confidence. i'm not talking dress like a bum though.

 

Yes, I don't care how I look, I mean I dress neatly and nice..But it's what the girl sees first, you face, your appearance..I have been turned down alot because of my looks and appearace, it hurts and nothing much I can do to change my looks..I just move on but its not easy at all.

[RogerRamjet]

Give me a break.... you need to pass a look hurdle, its that bloody simple. After that its all about your charecter. Personality.. meh, what does that even mean. If ur good looking and you aren't an idiot or rude or stupid and can show ur a worker you get the girl. THAT SIMPLE. Common sense please.

 

If u think ur looks r holding you back you need to lower your standards until they don't

 

"GUYS ATTRACT GIRLS WITH LOOKS. GUYS GET RELATIONSHIPS WITH PERSONALITY"

 

and you cannot have a sexual relationship without attraction.

 

gg

[Batya33]

You're confusing attraction with looks. I have been attracted many times to men who are not good looking by any stretch of society's imagination - indeed they had the typical features that are conventionally considered unattractive- short, balding, overweight, thick glasses, acne (well, that was in high school), etc. But I was attracted to these men.

[RayKay]

You're confusing attraction with looks. I have been attracted many times to men who are not good looking by any stretch of society's imagination - indeed they had the typical features that are conventionally considered unattractive- short, balding, overweight, thick glasses, acne (well, that was in high school), etc. But I was attracted to these men.

 

Agree wholeheartedly, that has been my experience too. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes, many whom would not be considered "hot" by the media or others, but I was extremely attracted too because they were about much more than their looks. As an example, my late boyfriend was short, "round" shape, had been balding since he was 16 (and had a funny shaped head too!), glasses...but a killer sense of humour, a great love of life and adventure and I thought he was very attractive for it all!

 

I think my boyfriend is hot, but I am sure others would not see him the way I do too.....when I met him he wore thick glasses for example, is not someone whom will "dress up" much (definitely NOT a metrosexual which is fine by me!), some would consider him a geek perhaps based on his career and some of his personality......but I adore him and think he is amazing inside and out - I think he is the best thing since..hm, well anything! Just as there are many whom would not go for me (I was rejected for not being blonde once for example!).

 

We ALL choose people based on attraction. The mistake is in thinking there is a certain "look" that women all go for, or that not looking like a GQ model gives you reason to stay inside and avoid women....because it is that kind of attitude that DOES turn people off.

[Batya33]

To add to Raykay's wise post, there are some people who want a "looker" on his/her arm to show off what he/she has "accomplished." Those people would insist "but I need to be physically attracted to the person!" but ignore their just as strong if not stronger motivation to boost the ego by having the model/hunk with them.

[CaptainPlanet]

"We ALL choose people based on attraction. The mistake is in thinking there is a certain "look" that women all go for, or that not looking like a GQ model gives you reason to stay inside and avoid women....because it is that kind of"

 

No one ever said there is a certain look that attracts all women. Different women are attracted to different looking men same as men are attracted to different looking women but a good looking women who does not fit my profile for what I am looking for is still good looking and she will still get lots of attention, as would a male in her shoes. You're attracted to your boyfriend with his big glasses and nerdy look you are attracted to his look as you stated yourself. Just because someone does not look like the cliche stereotype does not mean they aren't good looking, good looking people have all sorts of different styles to them. But the fact remains that there is a large physical element to your attraction to him that cannot be ignored. Thats what we are talking about when we say looks matter. If he didn't have the good looks you referenced you'd probably just refer to him as a good potential but lacking spark for a relationship, that mystical attraction you lot keep talking about is vitally important and has a lot to do with a persons physical appearance.

[Batya33]

Absolutely physical attraction is an essential part of a romantic relationship. His looks have to be appealing to me. But to me at least his looks are intertwined - and cannot be "untwined" with his personality - it is not this feature or that feature or even the package of physical features - it is how they combine with his personality and inner qualities that create the spark.

[cara223]

if you really want a relationship, you can't complain about not having one if you don't make the effort to put yourself out there and try. so what, you may not be the most gorgeous person in the world, but you still have a great personality and that's what girls want. physical attraction has nothing to do with looks, it's gained during the relationship. just get over the hurdle in your mind that says that you'r not attractive, because a guy without confidence and pride in himself won't get a relationship with any girl, looks or not.

[Northalius]

Looks matter, but by how much? That just depends on each individual person.

 

Smell matters, but by how much? That just depends on each individual person.

 

Hearing their deep, medium or high vocals matter, but by how much? That just depends on each individual person.

 

Feeling their soft, medium, rough skin matters, but by how much? That just depends on each individual person.

 

Taste matters, but by how much? That just depends on each individual person.

 

There you go. All five physical senses of the human body.

 

Now, the mind (character / personality) of the person - ah, that also depends on each individual person... to like, or not like.

 

The mind of the person can give way to changing the things you, at first, don't physically prefer about that person, into something you'd actually grow to like.

 

Imagining it's like our mind is clay, and we use their personality to mold our mind into viewing their physical features differently over time.

 

It's really all in the mind.

 

Mind over matter!

 

Adaptation of the mind?

 

"One man's trash, is another man's treasure."

[lifestream]

Everything obviously matters to the individual. But I'm confident that women will overlook certain physical shortcomings if the guy has the chemistry she's been looking for.

[cara223]

Everything obviously matters to the individual. But I'm confident that women will overlook certain physical shortcomings if the guy has the chemistry she's been looking for.

 

i agree, women will always overlook phyical 'flaws' in their relationship especially when you have a great personality.

[Altruist]

Yes, looks don't matter that much to women.

[CaptainPlanet]

"physical attraction has nothing to do with looks"

 

... huh ?

[Altruist]

"physical attraction has nothing to do with looks"

 

... huh ?

 

It's a contradiction, isn't it?

[Batya33]

It has nothing to do with "looks" as in "features" because it's the interplay of inner personality, character, body language, vibes, "energy" with features. So, does it have "something" to do with looks as in features? Sure, but I can't separate where the features on their own make a difference as opposed to features plus all those other qualities. There have certainly been times in my life where I saw a good looking guy and wanted to approach him - I felt attraction or the beginnings of attraction - where that was the main motivator. Usually it has not been like that.

 

If I saw someone with features I found repulsive - if he was deeply scarred, for example or 400 pounds or 70 pounds, then maybe that would be a deal breaker but usually if I am not attracted to features it is because of how they reflect the inner qualities and personality attributes - a mean look, shifty eyed, depressive look, vacant look, if he has tattoos or nose/mouth piercings, wild hair --- I do sum that up as "likely not a good match for me for a relationship."

[Leonhart]

Well, at least you know what you want. That's important.

 

Let us know when you find him (so the rest of us can rejoice with you AND have a little hope in our searches as well)!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I know a few girls who say they don't go for looks, yet they're dating GQ models like they're coming out of an assembly line. Oh man I hope those guys go on Twinkie and Ho-Ho diets, and then watch the dominoes fall.

[Batya33]

Not sure that that means they necesarily went for looks - would you say the same about a woman dating a short fat balding man with glasses? How do you know she didn't go for looks -- perhaps that was her type.