Kyoshiro Ogari

I am so happy for you, but that last sentence was laugh out loud funny. I hope your love life and life in general is well.

I think some would separate curves with being overweight. Like if she's a big girl with curves and holds her weight well versus just being a very large woman. And from what I have seen, both of those types are more popular than the girls themselves know. Much more popular. They just don't get the media coverage because truthfully it's not the majority preference (so they say) but the big/curve fad has a ton of fans.

How can you not look for love when you want it? Isn't that like not looking for food when you're hungry?

Just check the first post, 1-16-07. The last post before the bumpage was in June of 07.

The hell I didn't even notice he was replying to year old posts.

Let them think. How is thinking going to hurt you? Prove them wrong. My father was brown. During a time when racism existed in the army (Vietnam) he was promoted to seargent. After being honorably discharged with metals and plaques up the ying yang, he worked in a photolab. His lighter shaded boss made him manager in no time. After that company moved to another country, dad moved to another photolab where again, he rose to the higher ranks and his white boss promoted him to manager. That company merged with another company and plenty of whites were shown the door, but not my dad's black ass. No, he was a manager yet again. His last job, he became manager in less than 6 months. All while being brown, maybe a hint of chestnut. With a full beard no less! So all of these brown dumb unskilled laborers you speak of, that's their fault. If someone has that impression of you when they first see you, if they think that, show them otherwise. Earn their respect if you have to, just like my father did. Did the whites he worked with think he was nothing but a brown man? Probably, but I doubt it since they all told me at his funeral that he was one of the wisest leaders they knew. My dad was not an exception to the rule. If he thought like you did and acted like it was the gospel, he never would've been a manager and gave his son a perfect life. Oh sure we all have those doubts. Racism exists from all colors. So go on and keep feeling sorry for yourself. I am sure there are less deserving lighter skinned people who will get the greatness you were destined for, just because they are closer to their soap's color than you are.

I was going to give some advice to the original poster, but I noticed that over 1100 people viewed this thread... then I realized it's a two year old thread.

What I said wasn't reflecting me just sitting around.

For a time, I thought that was true. Someone told me this in my first year of college, and I heard it at least five times a year after that. For 16 years I've heard it and for the first ten, I actually fell for it. But when you realize that she'll show up in about 16 years, then you realize that she isn't going to show up at all. And it's not like I missed my chances. Before I wrote this post, I thought back to ALL the girls I have encountered and which one did I miss my boat with. The only answer I came up with was in 2003, when I wanted to talk to a girl at work but was too shy to. I found out later she was engaged. There was a girl immediately afterwards... but she got pregnant. So no one has popped into my life since I heard the positive affirmation in 1991. So I don't expect them to show up now if they kept me a waiting, lonely, tortured soul.

I have bumped this thread in anger and frustration to say that love and romance can bite me!

Thank you, I will try that.

Here is how guys can master the internet dating game 1: Have a good looking picture 2: Don't be a jerk Number 2 cannot work if number 1 is unavailable because if you don't have a good picture, you are a chat buddy at best and most of the time, you're the one initiating the chat. Meaning, you're hanging around but she's moved on.

Not without the AllSpark. Perhaps Unicron...

No, soulmates do not exist, and the more I think about it, the more absurd the word and concept is. The word soulmate is used to intensify the the love story between two people who just happen to fall in love. It's supposed to make it seem like it's destiny, that no obstacle, no storm, no Decepticon can destroy their inevitable union that will last either forever or until they get divorced. If soulmates exist, then people like me, over 30, wouldn't be soulmateless. I can't wait to hear the "don't look for it and it will come" line which is without a doubt the worst sentence I have ever heard regarding love. If I want a new car, what do I do, NOT shop for it? People spit this word out to make their love of their significant other the highest of all loves when in reality, the person is just their lover. Nothing more. If they're good in bed, then how can they not be their soulmate, right? Sheesh. I may change my mind when I meet a girl because I heard love can really make you look stupid. But for now whenever I hear the word soulmate, I repeat the word, preceed it with a four letter word and follow it with a middle finger, although it deserves much more venom.

Galaxy did give great advice and summed it up with this last sentence, which is my dilemma. If I was not blessed with being physically attractive despite what I have tried, what else can I do? Unfortunately, I cannot watch my friends talk to women with an unbiased thought in my head because they are good looking. I need to find a less than attractive guy and see how he does it. How do the average guys get women? I don't know. Some could be circumstance. Some could be years of courting. To reverse a situation, good looking guys, for the most part, attract with their looks and seem interesting. Unattractive guys do not look interesting, and have to work at being interesting. The two phone incidences I had were discouraging because both talked to me without seeing me and were into me. Then they saw me and those interesting things about me meant nothing, otherwise I would not have gotten cold shoulders from both. I know that's only TWO women, but it's not like it happened on Tuesday then on Thursday. It happened about 3 years apart. I'm all for trying new things since everything else has led me here so far.

Find it where I asked for violins and change in a rattling tin cup. So how is my attitude the problem? I would like to know what I do to repell these women? You can't tell me what I do because you don't know me or what I do. Am I shy? Yes, very. But I no longer look at my shoelaces when I walk. I no longer slouch or slump. I smile, with no return I might add. And, this thread was created three years ago. Since then, I've done a lot to change a demeanor that was never standoffish to begin with. And despite what I post HERE, I don't come off as a crybaby looking for a spotlight on him. And I don't approach women like a whining kid wanting to suck on her nipple. Then perhaps plastic surgery should do. Perhaps being shy and seeing what I have seen with good looking guys vs. unattractive guys which makes me even LESS confident. Not everybody will be an automatic success in getting the women they want if they try. Some of us "don't have it like that." We are missing that certain something. I am sure if I was hit on, or called attractive, I'd have confidence. It's like a role playing game. You walk around, get experience points by slaying monsters or solving riddles (talking to women...who are not monsters, I just needed that analogy...and no, I am not a video game geek. Not since 1998. ) and you enhance your character (confidence) accordingly. I've talked to women. I can remember all of the times I begin to show the SLIGHTEST interest, so harmless and subtle even a caveman can figure it out, and then things change. Two perfect examples. I was a customer service representative. I was talking business with a client, trying to help her with a dilemma. We talked for about a half hour on the phone before I solved the problem. She calls back and speaks to one of my co-workers and asks about me. My co-worker tells me this and said that she wanted to meet me. She said that I had a sexy voice. Anyway, the girl and I flirted over the phone during work ours and a week later, since she had to meet with my manager about a project they were doing, she dropped by. You should've seen the look on her face when she saw me. Amazingly, we talked once more after that, and that was because my manager was out for the day and I took over his duties. No more flirting or chit chatting about other stuff. I got dumped before getting hitched. A few years later, it happened again. This time I was taking care of a female client over the phone and throwing my sense of humor here and there. The next thing, she starts flirting with me. About a week later, she went out of her way to drop by CD she needed prints for. She walked in, asked for me, I said I was him, and her face slightly slumped. She acted as if she was engaging me for the first time. After that, just like the other one, things were different. So great, I have a sexy voice. I can be a phone sex operator. it's such a shame they have to meet me in person. And this is on FIRST GLANCE I was turned down. I am sure if I looked good, something MIGHT'VE developed. But looking as I do, I didn't even get a chance to show them what I could really do to touch their lives. You don't have to be the cast of Oceans11-13 to get a date, but I'd be damned if they get turned down for a date. The effort they would have to put in vs. us is minimal. Their first impression can be the snap of a finger. We would have to answer that question, "Why would you date us when you know you can do better?" here is what people tell me ALL the time: I have personality. I am personable. I am charming, engaging, sweet, sincere, kind, funny, hilarious, ect. So then there must be some other reason why I attract friends and not GIRLfriends. I refer back to those qualities I listed and see that handsome is not among them. And I didn't mean to come off like a smart*** responding to your post, it's just that your assumption about me the person vs. me the poster is off.

If I was basing this on a few years of what I have seen, then I'd agree with you. But I have seen these examples of good looking guys vs. me year after year after year since 4th grade, so we are talking about 24 years. And it hits close to home since my closest friends are the examples. I would think that once I grew up, I'd see differently since there are more things to a human being as they get older. But no.

Attractive guys get the girl. Their personality is what keeps them. In most circumstances, they'd have to be a self centered serial killer to screw it up. Unattractive guys need their personality to get AND keep the girl. In most circumstances, they'd have to be flawless in their game. Us unattractive guys can't get the girl 1-2-3 like the good lookers can. We'd basically have to audition ourselves, jump through hoops and juggle flaming knives or flash some dough. Good lookers don't need that, yet it only makes them better. My best friend and I were virgins, running neck and neck. Same lifestyle, same habits, same situation, except he KNOWS he's handsome. We went on a trip to Central America and (I'll never forget this) we were walking in the streets and women were going ga ga over him. I felt like his dead stinking pet monkey on a leash that he was dragging with him. Everywhere we turned there was a girl eyeing him, even so much as smiling and waving at him. And the funy thing was, we were both dressed the same and had the same "aura" but he had IT, a good looking face. My face had IT with the SH attached to the front. This went on for about an hour before I faked a headache so that we could go home. On the flight back home, he met a girl. He caught her eye from afar and noticed that she was staring at him. He got up, started a conversation and in 10 minutes got her phone number. It didn't work out because she had issues but at least he got to try. Months later, as he was minding his own business, a woman approached him. They converse, and BINGO, he gets her number. He gets laid about a month later and loses his virginity just like that. My problem is not on assumptions, but experience. I have had plenty of crushes in my life, but 2 of the 3 biggest crushes I had ended up in disaster. In 4th grade, I REALLY liked this girl, who reminded me of Lucy from the Peanuts comic strip. But she had a major crush on the cutest guy in school. Four years later, I had another major crush on another girl. I'll never forget this day, I was walking home from school with three of my friends when my crush approaches us with her friends. And you can tell she wanted to chat up with one of us. She asked her friend to ask ME to ask if my friend wanted to talk to her. A side note, he was the new hot kid at school. Sure enough, they talk and date. What's was worse about these two situations was that both guys were my best friends. But I saw that the hot guys get the girls, the nice guys get the compliments ONLY and the shy guys get to watch. I said that 2 of the 3 crushes I had. That third crush developed a year later, but after seeing what happened the first two times, and noticing that my crush barely knew that I was a breathing almond skinned biped just like her, I decided not to do it. Thank godness, she had a boyfriend anyway. (sarcasm alert) Yeah, he was really horrible looking dork. (sarcasm off) Handsome guys at worse get to first base. Guys like me are stuck in traffic on the way to the ballpark. If a good looking guy has a hard time getting a girlfriend, most of the time it's his aura, demeanor or personality. That's so easy to change. For a unattractive guy, we have to have all of those things fall into place to be considered a candidate, or luck out and find a woman who doesn't go outside of a 2 mile radius of her house. If you're shy, multiply that times infinity. It works in reverse, too. I am seeing it at my workplace with two new girls that were just hired. The cute one is getting all the attention. The one they consider not so cute, no attention. And t's worse with guys sometimes because the drooling is so obvious. I feel bad for the other girl. She's married and has two children, but she sees these guys going nuts for the other girl. I don't know if she shrugs it off being that she's attached or if she wonders what it would feel like to be that girl, as I do when I see girls go gooey gooey for the handsome guys in my vicinity.

Amazingly enough, as much low self esteem as I have, I'm pretty proud of my porker.

Wow, I actually wrote that crap. So sad, so true. The only thing that has changed since then is that I occasionally have a grey hair on my scrotum and my abs are better now. Other than that, them girls are elusive. I'm back to that Skittles Love, tasting the rainbow. Back then I was going through 4 crushes with a Caucasian, Asian, Haitian and Malaysian. Actually that's for my new country blues rap song, the crushes were on three blondes, a redhead and a Vietnamese/French girl. But the funny thing is that in my thinking, race never came into play because my look really isn't defined by a race. I will try to get out to more gatherings. It's not easy. I wish I could take one of you with me to see what attraction pitfalls I run into. As soon as I see a woman, BLAM, Georgeous Guy walks in, her eyes are on him, and I think to myself that I have no shot.

You know what that does? It gives you minty fresh morning breath, which is equivalent to smelling a rose dipped in molded cheese. Would you notice the scent of the rose? Neither would I. Everybody at my job is a chronic tooth brusher. I thought it was just me, but the bathroom is usually crowded like there's a toothpaste party or something. I personally have to brush my teeth after every meal. It's a good habit to be obsessed with.

I know a few girls who say they don't go for looks, yet they're dating GQ models like they're coming out of an assembly line. Oh man I hope those guys go on Twinkie and Ho-Ho diets, and then watch the dominoes fall.

Why would that look good on a t-shirt?

She has to have a large rack with a really nice set of tupperware. What did you think I was going to say, dirty mind! [-X Personality traits: Sense of humor Kind Weird, thinks outside of the box, goofy Smart Physical Traits: Born a female (kinda important) Nice teeth

I think everybody falls for a good looking person and prays that they have just enough Anti Jerk Tonic in their medicine cabinet. This is that so they can tolerate them as they stare into their dreamy bedroom eyes. If the tonic runs out and this luscious vision turns out to be a moron, his jerkiness transforms into a mere "bad quality" that all of his wonderful qualities outweigh. As long as he looks good, he's got it made in the shade. If he's ugly, he's walking on egg shells. My feet have yolk stuck to them.