Do many girls go out with guys 28 or older that still lives at home?

[iwishiknew]

That's just an excuse. You live in the United States. Even if you are making a low wage, it will be enough to cover basic expenses (ie: earn a living)

 

Many people in the US can't survive with a low wage income ..How do you expect to live and survive making $8 an hr? Making a low wage is not always enough to cover expenses

[caro33]

I have to admit a certain set of assumptions come to play for me when I meet a guy who lives with his parents past his mid-20s. I tend to think that

someone's character just doesn't get to fully form if they have not left the nest, or wanted to. And basic things come to mind, like the stuff syrix mentioned about his capacity to look after himself etc. I also would be wary just because it would mean that if we dated we'd have to negotiate around his parents, which for me would feel like a return to my much younger days.

 

But, having said all that, my best friend (beside my husband) is a guy who lived with his parents until he was 29 or so. And he's a legend, he's great. One of the wisest people I know, and fully formed as a person. I guess he felt no need to move - he and his brother and parents lived like four buddies in the house, they gave each other space and acted as adults.

 

So for me perhaps the issue is not so much IF a guy lives with his folks, but HOW he lives with them.

[CluelessGuy321]

Nothing to do with being materialistic. To me, for purposes of finding a person who would be a potential for marriage and a family, it is a sign of maturity, a healthy independence from one's family and financial stability - which does not mean the person is materialistic. A person can have huge amounts of debt and be very materialistic, or wealthy and not materialistic.

 

Sure it's a sign of maturity. So what?

 

This guy thinks he can't get a girl because he still lives with his parents - he can. It's skill and numbers. I've seen a few guys who pull it off easily.

 

Me? I've got my own brand new decently furnished house in Irvine, nice clothing, fairly wealthy, and I can't land many dates. I got no skills. I'm the most pathetic 25 year old I know....when it comes to the ladies

 

With or without parents, with/without a cool car, with/without bling bling, it doesn't matter.

[friscodj]

Sure it's a sign of maturity. So what?

 

This guy thinks he can't get a girl because he still lives with his parents - he can. It's skill and numbers. I've seen a few guys who pull it off easily.

 

Me? I've got my own brand new decently furnished house in Irvine, nice clothing, fairly wealthy, and I can't land many dates. I got no skills. I'm the most pathetic 25 year old I know....when it comes to the ladies

 

With or without parents, with/without a cool car, with/without bling bling, it doesn't matter.

 

Very well said CG...

 

Perhaps in your case there is some commonality between your perceived failures related to your behavior around women or you just haven't met a right woman for you...who appreciates the painter instead of the paintings you paints...

[quietgrl]

luke and Iwishiknew,

 

I agree with CluelessGuy321 and friscodj.A man living at home can get a woman and he doesn't have to date a teenager.

[Batya33]

Sure it's a sign of maturity. So what?

 

This guy thinks he can't get a girl because he still lives with his parents - he can. It's skill and numbers. I've seen a few guys who pull it off easily.

 

Me? I've got my own brand new decently furnished house in Irvine, nice clothing, fairly wealthy, and I can't land many dates. I got no skills. I'm the most pathetic 25 year old I know....when it comes to the ladies

 

With or without parents, with/without a cool car, with/without bling bling, it doesn't matter.

 

Not saying it guarantees a date -- obviously you need social skills and emotional maturity - but for many of us it is something we look for - emotional and financial independence (which doesn't have to mean "rich") if we're looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. Being able to "get" "girls" has little to do with that if you're referring to dates, hooking up and flings where the woman in question isn't focused on finding a long term partner.

[Iceman26]

 

Me? I've got my own brand new decently furnished house in Irvine, nice clothing, fairly wealthy, and I can't land many dates. I got no skills. I'm the most pathetic 25 year old I know....when it comes to the ladies

 

Owning a house in Irvine at 25 is pretty impressive dude. I used to work in Irvine and bar hop at the Spectrum. Irvine is a little bit more difficult of a place to meet nice girls IMO, but I also think that there are nice people everywhere so hang in there man.

[rocio]

I was assuming that he can find a job that pays more than minimum wage. Minimum wage is for 15 year old kids working at macdonalds. There's no 28 year old out there who should be making minimum wage unless he has serious problems.

 

I don't see what my earnings have to do with this and I don't really feel like revealing my salary, sorry.

[Siriana]

Well maybe I am annoyed right now because of the place I live in, BUT I think that he is working AND studying at the same time, so to me it is not a sign of a lazy person or a person who has serious problems (and very rude to imply), I think he is trying to do the best he can.

 

He gets up in the morning, gets dressed and goes to work.

That counts.

He is not trying to steal, or to beg, or to borrow money because he's lazy to work and to study at the same time while being 28 years old.

 

Yeah, I suggested finding a new job too, BUT IN THE MEANTIME HE'LL HAVE TO DO THE JOB HE HAS - BETTER THAN NOTHING.

That is still better than asking money from his parents.

[rocio]

Sorry, I didn't read the thread carefully enough and didn't realise he was a student. That's a different story. My bad.

[Luke Skywalker]

I was assuming that he can find a job that pays more than minimum wage. Minimum wage is for 15 year old kids working at macdonalds. There's no 28 year old out there who should be making minimum wage unless he has serious problems.

 

I don't see what my earnings have to do with this and I don't really feel like revealing my salary, sorry.

 

It's easy when someone who is making a good income to think because they can, others can too, and they dont understand that there are real problems out there because they tend to build a certain pride behind their success but dont realise that that it's still chance and opportunity, and nobody has equal chances and opportunities in life for various reasons.

 

I've read about horror stories about people who have sent 200 resumes and failed to get a single interview, or people who have graduated from teacher's college or a professional institution who are flipping hamburgers and mcdonalds. Or, how about the the doctorate degree person with an Arabic last name who cant find a better job than a taxi driver, while in his home country, he could be a CEO. People should not presume to think that people have personal problems due to their living situation and put things under such a stereotypical box unless they live a year in the other person's shoes and see what they would do if they had the same limitations.

 

Back to my point, anyone, no matter what age or qualification, could be making minimum wage. If there are no job opportunities available, or there is no access to jobs due to nepotism (i.e. despite your qualifications, people hire who they know, not necessarily who is qualified for the job, etc....), or for whatever reason someone is left in the fringest, doesn't necessarily reflect a serious problem with the person. The hiring process is very loosely regulated, even in government, so that the person who gets the good salaries job, is not necessarily the most qualified.

[rocio]

Sorry, I just think that if a healthy, reasonably intellegent 28 year old can't survive on his own, then there is a problem. Life isn't always easy. There are many people who are forced to get a second job, do manual labour, move in with roommates, or cut their spending habits. Illegal immigrants, uneducated single mothers, teenagers... they find a way to do it every day. I can't see why a 28 year old wouldn't be able to. And I'm sure that the OP could. But he's decided to return to school, so he's working toward a bigger goal and I think that's smart.

[Iceman26]

lol, D&B Happy Hour @ 10pm Thursdays . Hey, how are the girls in Texas? I've heard good things P

 

I used to go over to the Crazy Horse (now Old Navy) right accross the way from Dave and Busters.

 

That Dave & Busters is pretty cool though. If you want to mingle with people try playing that Trivia video game in the back.

 

My best friend comes out here often and frequents the nightclubs and bars here and told me he thinks that the women here (Houston) are the hottest he has seen. I just got married a few months ago so I am not in that scene anymore.

[annie24]

I would be wary of dating a man who was 28 an still living with his parents. It is one thing if he is a student, or his parents are ill and need care, or if his parents are disabled. Or, if this is a temporary situation (ie, he is saving up for a downpayment, he is a recent graduate and looking for a new job, or he is recently back in the country and needs a while to settle down).

 

If an able-bodied man is not financially independent by 28, I would be worried. (unless he were in school finishing his education/training/internships.) I think it isn't fair to his parents. Afterall, they worked hard their entire lives, they should enjoy their retirement years, and use that money to go on a cruise or buy a vacation home, not to continue subsidizing their son. I mean, if they pass away, how will he support himself? or is he counting on inheriting the house and their life insurance?

 

Another issue --- it would be very uncomfortable for me when we are dating to spend the night at his house, because his parents would be there! or, for them to know he is spending the night at my house. I haven't dated a man who has lived with his parents since high school, I am just used to being at a man's house, chilling on his couch in my underwear, and not worrying about his mother walking in on us

 

Basically, I want a "man with a plan." It's ok if he lives with his folks, as long as he has a plan to get out. Or, if he is taking care of his parents. Maybe some people would consider this snobbish, but I am just wondering how he plans on supporting himself once his parents die. Or is he expecting a woman to be his sugar momma?

[beh700]

Minimum wage is for 15 year old kids working at macdonalds.

 

this is such a harsh statement! I understand how you think everyone should be motivated enough to work and give up at the luxurious life, but our society does not dish out money to every job equally. Right now, I'm sure you are sitting on a chair, fair statement? The chair which was assembled in a factory, brought to a store on a truck, put on the sales floor by a stock boy, and sold to you by the one working the cash register. It's also a fair statement to say the majority of these workers are getting paid minimum wage. Do you think that your job is better than all four of these jobs? It's not to me. I don't care if you are the leader of our country. every job is a job that is needed in society. I've been working in retail since I was at a legal hiring age and have been putting myself through a 4 year college. I work 30 hours a week and substitute at a local school, when needed. And don't forget I go to school full time. I earn minimum wage and have never received a pay raise. I earn less than $450 biweekly. These two weeks of working doesn't even cover my month of rent. I live in a studio apartment and I have still not run the heat yet. You will never see my shopping or any typical college-girl activity. However if it wasn't for my parents who signed a co-dependent loan for me I would not be able to support myself through school. And I am not going to say that I am not working hard, because I am. And I hope you realize life isn't always the same in every case. I'm glad you got through your hard time successfully without having to depend on anyone. I would be proud too.

 

Back to the original post, congratulations on making the decision to go back to school! I hope you find what you're looking for! I think the most appealing trait in a man is confidence and being a hard-worker. If you are studying and at a job part time, then that is more than most of the students I know. Also, by taking life into your own hands, it's going to prove to all women that you are living in the 'real world,' despite your living situation. Tell them how you've gotten to where you are, and I'm sure you'll receive the respect you deserve. If not, then they really aren't worth your time. Good luck with everything.

[rocio]

this is such a harsh statement! I understand how you think everyone should be motivated enough to work and give up at the luxurious life, but our society does not dish out money to every job equally.

 

You don't understand what I think. You have no idea. I have no problem with people who make minimum wage and I don't think I'm better than anybody. All I'm saying is that an adult working for minimum wage is doing so by choice.

 

Jobs that pay above minimum wage:

 

-driving a cab

-working as a waiter/waitress

-bartending

-most cleaning jobs

-landscaping (ie: cutting grass, planting flowers, etc.)

-delivering newspapers (if you have a car)

-homecare (taking care of elderly or sick persons in their home)

-construction (if you don't mind physical labour)

-most factory jobs

 

 

If you don't want those jobs, that's fine with me. But they are always options. Anyone can get a job cleaning people's homes or serving in a restaurant. You could choose to work for minimum wage because it's the only job that fits with your school scedule. Or you could make that choice because you think it's cool to work at a coffee shop or a video store.

[Batya33]

I would not have a problem if a man was living at home with his parents so he could finish college or a graduate degree.

[rocio]

I would not have a problem if a man was living at home with his parents so he could finish college or a graduate degree.

 

Yeah, especially if he had a nice mom who would prepare homecooked meals for us!

[Batya33]

LOL ;-). Unfortunately, none of my boyfriends who lived at home had parents who were good cooks. One thought his mother was an excellent cook. That was tough.

[krissbrown]

It all depends on why the guy is living at home, is a parent old or sick? is he of an ethinc background that does that like the Greeks? Alot of ethinc types like to stay at home, greeks, albanians, etc.

 

my ex was living at home at 29 because he was in grad school paying off a huge loan, his parents had no money.. also i have a friend who lives with his mom because his dad died of cancer and shes very lonely..

 

If hes doing it because hes a baby or a mooch then in no way is he getting a date. also i know some guy whos 34 and his parents have alot of money and he lives with them,, mocching-- its disgusting.

[itsallgrand]

Honestly, I got somewhat annoyed reading some of the responses in this thread, but I do think it all relevent.

 

The truth is, there are some women out there who will dismiss you because you live at home.

But that could be said about many things. Some would dismiss a man who didn't make X amount of cash, or have X 'class' of job, or have a car, or be a certain height, or have this quality or that.

 

When push comes to shove, what matters is how you carry it off. If it bothers you to be living at home, women will pick up on that.

If you are not living according to your own plan - whatever that may be - but rather feeling like a victim to life, that will come accross.

And, that is something that can hinder all relationships, not just dating.

 

So, anyways, would I date a guy my age who lived at home?

Yes. If he was top-notch, and the rest was great, and he could lay out for me what would be happening in the next couple years.

 

I've seen some situations where the gf moves into the bf's parental home, and that is not for me, but it is done.

 

I guess the trick is finding someone who have similiar goals and values as you.

 

Don't despair! Thankfully, all us women are different unique individuals.

[Altruist]

It all comes down to ambition and future goals. If a grown man stays at his parents'home and leeches off them without any ambition at all, then he doesn't deserve any respect from women. It must be a short term arrangement. A man needs to have his life figured out if he is considerng pursuing a long term relationship. Tying himself down to his mother's apron strings will not help him to do that. There is no excuse for failure in life. Parents nature their children so that one day they can break away and start their own life. Unfortunately mothers will not usually encourage you to go but wait for you to make that decision yourself. You just have to move out.

[Batya33]

It all comes down to ambition and future goals. If a grown man stays at his parents'home and leeches off them without any ambition at all, then he doesn't deserve any respect from women. It must be a short term arrangement. A man needs to have his life figured out if he is considerng pursuing a long term relationship. Tying himself down to his mother's apron strings will not help him to do that. There is no excuse for failure in life. Parents nature their children so that one day they can break away and start their own life. Unfortunately mothers will not usually encourage you to go but wait for you to make that decision yourself. You just have to move out.

 

I agree with you but know women who are fine with a man with no ambition or future goals. To each her own . .. .

[DN]

Being somewhat older and coming from the UK originally I find this quite interesting. When I was a young man over there it was not at all unusual for people to stay at home until they got married. In fact, of all my various cousins, both male and female, none lived on their own prior to marriage. Had I not joined the army, I might well have been in the same position.

 

No one thought that they were not independent and they were expected to contribute to the household expenses. It was just the norm back then for most people. They were expected to save money for a home when they did get married and to pay rent would have been considered a waste. It's not that no one left home but it was not the usual practice. I would think that the expectation that most people leave home on reaching young adulthood is a very new idea when looked at over human development.

[Batya33]

My parents got married at age 21 and 23 - my father moved out to go to school, my mother lived at home till marriage. I would still say it is fine for a man/woman of that age to live at home or older if he/she was still in school or it was a temporary situation.

 

I agree though it depends on cultural norms - I believe that among some cultures the woman just doesn't move out till marriage for any reason.