amazonqueen Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 God, this is so hard. I'm on day 2 of the NC challenge. I just keep thinking if I could find the right words to say that he would understand and want to start over. But I'm going to stay strong! Link to comment
KoopaTroopa Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Parsley - My ex was the same way. At first I was worried I was calling and texting too much and that I was smothering her, and she was just like "Are you crazy? That's not even possible!" complete with indignation at the very idea. Then she just slowly had less and less time for me, to the point where she got annoyed if I wanted to talk to her more than once a week. (We had an LDR as well.) I just saw you live in England - LOL yeah, probably not the ideal time to be texting people right now. Yay for good friends though. I'll tell you one thing - if nothing else, a difficult breakup can definitely show you who your good friends are. Especially the ones that come pick you up at 2:30 am. Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Mine too! I thought I should back off just a little...after all he wasn't answering his phone as much, then when I did get to speak to him it was all "Why don't you text me during the day anymore?" Gah. Then a few weeks later he started ignoring me completely. AGH! And yet...I still just want to text him and tell him how very much I miss going to sleep smiling because of his latest text, or waking up in the middle of the night and cuddling back up to him and the ultimate feeling of safety when I woke up to see him watching me with a little smile. I just don't understand how someone can go from that to ignoring me and making me think I can't trust my own mind, and not wanting to be with me at all...within 2 months. Yeah - the next morning I couldn't believe she'd actually done that for me. I'm taking her to a gig later this month to say thank you. It's not too late at the moment - only quarter past midnight, but still maybe I'll wait till the weekend to annoy the hell out of them in the wee hours. Link to comment
belinda_simone Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 another day - about 8 weeks no contact, day 3 of the challenge. I don't want to contact him AT ALL.. i never want to see him again. He is dangerous. He is irrational. He is unreasonable. He is manipulative... He used to be sweet, funny, caring.. But NC is making me see the truth about him. I just want to hurry up and be completely over this. I know it's bad karma to wish him bad luck, but just a little accident with his face (even a large boil on his nose!) would make my day! I know I am bad.. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 LMAO Belinda...I like the way you think.....LOL A boil on his nose....or all his hair to fall out....why NOT??? LOL Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Thanks for your support tonight Koopa! I've decided to try and sleep. I've moved my phone to the other side of the room because I'm horrific at getting out of a warm bed when I don't really need to. I've got my ipod here, and intend to listen to Ricky Gervais, Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington until I fall asleep, as I have done every night since we broke up. Something I highly recommend to everyone! Not just Gerv, Smerch and the K man (though they are obviously fantastic) but listening to some kind of audio book or comedy when you're going to sleep. It helps to distract your mind from those horrible thoughts of *them*. If you don't have a way to do that, think your way through a favourite film or book putting in as much detail as you can. e.g. Harry Potter "Right, well there's this boy who lives with his aunt, uncle and cousin, because he is an orphan. They live in Privet Drive, their names are Petunia, Vernon and Dudley..." etc. It helps! Goodnight everyone! x Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I broke NC just now over msn. I feel fine. We were friendly. I messaged him because I needed help with my chemistry test tomorow and even though he was nasty two days ago, he helped me out cheerfully. In between, we joked around. I felt the need to take a stab at him so I did (about me being with someone else/not the most mature but it was just a slight joke). He replied as predicted- hurt but try to hide it. I dont want him back at all. Im pretty indifferent to him now. I feel bad for breaking NC because it was a goal. But all in all, NC is supposed to help me feel better about this situation. Talking to him didn't put me back at all.. But I might be speaking too soon. He's back on block now just incase. Link to comment
KoopaTroopa Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hey, you too Parsley! It was definitely good to talk to someone who's in a similar situation as I am. (And yeah, my ex did that too! Went from "I love you so much" to having no time for me in a relatively short time. Was definitely a head trip. I know some of what caused it, but some of it is still just like... * * *. Bah!) Aaaanyways, have a good night, and good luck with the rest of the challenge! Link to comment
Reluctant Rebuilder Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Day 3 of the challenge (sorry I didn't post yesterday) The Universe can be cruel. It mocks me. Or maybe its testing me but I don't like it. On the way to work today I run into an ex girlfriend from about 14 years ago. Find out that life has knocked her around a bit too, and would I want to meet for a drink sometime to catch up? Wheels in my head start spinning - a way out! But I know that taking a short cut will stunt any growth that I can have from walking this road alone, learning from what happened with my wife and all that. Then in class tonight, another ex who I have some real bitterness towards shows up. I can't stand it. She was supposed to join a taekwondo class or something, but there she is and will be haunting me Mondays and Wednesday for the next three months. ](*,) It's a lot easier when she isn't around. So there you have it. NC with my ex wife, ex girlfriends coming out of the wood work, and me wanting to hide under my bed and come out when it's all over. Link to comment
Aerozeppelin Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 day 3 - Woke up in the middle of the night from an intense dream about him and felt shivers down my spine. Always takes me a few seconds to process that it was just a dream. In my dream, like all the other dreams with him, we're happy and in love and kissing and I am so grateful to have him back. I woke up just groaning and not being able to go back to sleep for another 3 hours. I desperately want him back as my boyfriend and even after 8 months apart, I still love him so deeply. On another note, started my first day of training at work today, all in all I think it went well. The only annoying thing was watching the girl who's also new and training with me constantly trying to outshine me (we're in the same job, sista, let's just be a team), don't know if anyone else has ever experienced that. These next two weeks are just a trial period for the company to see if I'm the person they want, so after a couple weeks I'll see if I have the job permanently. Time for a short nap or just laying on the bed watching tv to relax. Hope he is thinking of me fondly even if for a minute. Link to comment
Ated Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Ok I'm In! This would be my DAY 1 GARRRR ONLY ONE DAY !!! POO:splat: Link to comment
tribecagirl Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hi Everybody! Day 68!!!!!! Today I feel really good. Giddy, in fact. I believe it's because I've gotten involved in some new business opportunites that can turn out really well for me. Both opportunites will give me the chance to meet new people and possibly add new lifelong friends to the circle of friends I have now. It could also mean that I could get a few dates, maybe even find a new boyfriend. I've been down for a while and things are starting to looking up. I pray to God with everything that I know that this good feeling will continue. I wouldn't wish the kind of pain I experienced on my worst enemy. Thoughts of my ex pop into my head, but I'm starting to believe what I've read so much of on this and other relationship boards that things will get better and you'll start to have confidence in yourself more. Trust me when I tell you that I never thought I'd start to feel better about things anymore. But there is hope and if you're hurting, YOU WILL MAKE IT. I'm working on me, Me, ME! I'm keeping in my mind that it's not about him (the ex), it's all about getting me together and to learn from my mistakes. Peace! Tribecagirl Link to comment
belinda_simone Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Tribecagirl! You sound as though you've nearly made it! I am feeling a bit like you as well. It's been a bit over 2 months and he is on longer in my mind every minute of the day. I am moving forward, having little crushes on guys and feeling good about myself! It's true! You do get over it!! Link to comment
belinda_simone Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Just got a text from him.. my heart skipped a beat. It's been 8 weeks and he's just told me how he misses us. I feel sooooo good now!! Is that wrong? The fact that he is missing me and can't help but text me!! It has given me MORE power! MORE strength to maintain NC!! This guy is a nut case. He is such a manipulator.. I must keep reminding myself of this. oh what a wonderful day!! I love that he is weak and i am strong!! Link to comment
CareBear53187 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 im in-the challenge for me will be not going to his facebook every 10 minutes. like HUGEEEE challenge. like i dont even know if its possible. but im going to try superdave, for you because your posts are always inspirational, and im willing to try anything - so bring it on. day 1.(its actually been TWO weeks-yay!...but if we arent counting the days that ive visited his page, its been about two minutes...) ill keep yall posted! Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 End of Day 1 of the Challenge I was aloof on IM throughout the day. She accused me of being "quiet" twice today. She called when she left work and asked if I wanted anything from Wendy's. I did, but I ate downstairs alone as I was watching a movie. Anyhow, doing pretty good today. Good night everyone. Link to comment
Shaker Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 End of day one: I didn't reply to the email he sent this morning, and I finished moving everything out of the apartment except my bike, which I'll grab early tomorrow before he returns to the city. The crappy thing: a mutual "friend" told me today he's still casually seeing the girl he left me for a month ago. My ex didn't tell me this, so I was taken aback but didn't say anything to the "friend" other than 'I'm sure that's not my business'. What my ex did say: it would take him a while before he started dating again, and that he spent New Year's Eve with a guy buddy at a party...which he did, but it was her party. So says our friend. And then our friend added they got together on Friday night (my ex told me he went to a hockey game with some guys). Too much information, but I expressed an interest in not talking about it, so hopefully this won't happen again. How does an ex dating someone new else impact the 'no contact' rule if I still want to reconcile? I feel like I'm being deceitful because I let him go so easily, and act like I'm on the same page as him by not putting up a fight for the relationship, by moving out, by being strong, by being myself, etc. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 update on Day 4 i surprisingly made it through the ex's bday without feeling any guilt not calling her. anyways i spent my day just being busy- playing basketball, eating, talking to my mom about crap. anyways it was weird for some reason i made a new myspace account to see if i can meet new girls my age..dating sites weren't really working for me..lol. And for the record no i didn't make it to snoop on my ex. i could care less now. beside she has a new MAN in her life who treats her right and is supposedly a better person than me. oh well. anways i did make one and i started to browsing through my area. for some reason it felt stupid, and end up deleting my newly made account after about and hour. oh well. myspace wasn't really my thing anyways. for the record i officially wasted a good hour of my time trying to browse for girls when i can easily just go to my local starbucks and find one. anyways the night ended on a good not and a laugh, the hell was i thinking trying to start myspace again!? i geuess you can say i was bored. Link to comment
KoopaTroopa Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 It's 4am, and I can't believe I'm posting here instead of sleeping, but I went drinking with friends tonight. Yes, I know, normally that would be the WORST thing to do, let alone be happy about, but it was actually very significant. Drunk dialing was an all-out ritual between me and my ex, and a rather treasured one at that. Even after we broke up (when we were attempting the "just friends" thing) we exchanged many drunken and rather hilarious phonecalls, IMs, and other exchanges. Tonight was the first night since initiating NC that I felt confident enough to go near alcohol, in that I was SURE I'd be able to fight off the urge to call or text her once any degree of intoxication set in. SUCCESS. And I didn't even have to have my friends confiscate my cellphone either! Link to comment
LLammas Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Day 2, the beginning. Last night was a little rough since I've got an unhealthy amount of free time on my hands until classes resume for the new semester. I filled my time by reconnecting with two old friends who had been alienated by my obnoxious ex-they were glad to hear from me, and even happier to hear that we had broken up! One friend even hinted at having an interest in me when I'm emotionally recovered and off the rebound. That gave my confidence a great boost. Today I'm hoping to curb the urge to contact him by filling up my time with little things I should have done this week instead of moping: buying my text books for the semester, getting my hair done, washing and waxing my car, and cleaning the house. Thankfully, I've found this board to turn to when the urge does hit. Link to comment
sandyv Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Hi Dave and Co. Nope I won't count, makes it too tough for me. I have been behaving myself, but much to my dismay, my ex has been slithering around (yep, like a snake) when I was out Friday night, he came to my place, asking my upstairs neighbour if they knew where I was, the next day received a call from him I didn't answer. I am maintaining my stance, and am occasionally feeling like breaking down, cause other problems in my life are causing me too feel badly.... but I'm feeling much stronger than I did before..... Link to comment
mintzhg Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 HI, Dave count me in. it will be very hard as i work less than 15 feet away from my ex. but i will do my best. also if you could please post any ideas on what to do if he contacts you or talks to you when you are at work about other than work related stuff would be extremely appreciated. i just want to say that i am doing this because my ex fiancee left me and i am more heartbroken than i have ever been and i need to forget him because he chose freedom rather than my love...at least that's how i feel. i suppose my goal is to stop feeling so horrible and shattered and to realize that if someone loved me they would fight for me; as well as i need to stop pretending to myself that he wants to get back together and that he wants to try later on. so that's my goal and i hope to do it well. Please wish me heaps of luck and SuperDave71 you are a true champ. - Aminta ps. it's 1:00 am Wed 10 of jan 07 Link to comment
Biffy Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 im in-the challenge for me will be not going to his facebook every 10 minutes. like HUGEEEE challenge. like i dont even know if its possible. but im going to try superdave, for you because your posts are always inspirational, and im willing to try anything - so bring it on. day 1.(its actually been TWO weeks-yay!...but if we arent counting the days that ive visited his page, its been about two minutes...) ill keep yall posted! That's a bad care bare... bad! Continue checking his page IF you can explain what good will come of it? Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Day 5...This is REALLY hard I found a new apartment last night. My ex called and we discussed when I could pick up my things. He wanted to chat further but I cut him off saying that I was too busy to chat. He text this morning saying "I want us to be friends and I want you in my life then we can see what happens"...haven't responded but want to x Link to comment
tribecagirl Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Tribecagirl! You sound as though you've nearly made it! I am feeling a bit like you as well. It's been a bit over 2 months and he is on longer in my mind every minute of the day. I am moving forward, having little crushes on guys and feeling good about myself! It's true! You do get over it!! Just got a text from him.. my heart skipped a beat. It's been 8 weeks and he's just told me how he misses us. I feel sooooo good now!! Is that wrong? The fact that he is missing me and can't help but text me!! It has given me MORE power! MORE strength to maintain NC!! This guy is a nut case. He is such a manipulator.. I must keep reminding myself of this. oh what a wonderful day!! I love that he is weak and i am strong!! Hi Belinda, I'm glad you're feeling better! That's funny that he texted you. Stay strong, sweetie. Don't contact him. It will just boost his ego and who cares about stroking his ego. When you don't answer back, it will let him know that he can't pull your strings anymore. Truthfully, I don't think I'll ever hear from or see the ex ever, again and I'm not going to look for him to contact me at all. Sometimes I would think about him coming back to me, but then I realized that I was setting myself up for further heartbreak. I believe that once we are dumped in some regard, we always envision our ex coming back wanting to be with us. But ultimately, if we keep thinking that way, we're doomed to be hurt. Maybe worst the second time around. So it's not worth the mental energy to torture yourself. When I do have thoughts of the ex and maybe a specific time we shared, I scream in my head, "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!" ](*,) I snap myself back into reality and I'll repeat to myself, "MOVE ON, GIRL!" So far, it's working and I hope to continue. I'm moving on and one of my goals is to go a whole day without one single thought of him at all. That's when I'll know that I'm healed completely. Day 69, people!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
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