THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[BONO]

For many people this will be like a version of Gordon Ramsay's Hells Kitchen USA.

 

Guys imagine breaking NC and having to answer to a livid Gordon Ramsay or even worse getting the same response from you ex as a livid Gordon Ramsay ....

 

 

Good grief & good luck !

 

 

Scruff

[andreap]

Tribecagirl,

sorry for the delayed response but I had to run out for bit!! Yes, I left him for some VERY valid reasons....the biggest one being dishonesty. We did the counseling thing. I gave him months to stop his destructive behaviour and warned him I would leave.....I dont think he believed me even as the moving truck was loading up!! I still love him. We were together for almost 8 years. Broken up for 1.5 years....but back and forth during that time. I know that he has been casually dating....but nothing at all serious and he always tells me he is "100% single"....whatever that is supposed to mean to me!!??? I am going to stick to this challenge as well as Majord's plan.

thanks for all the support!!! I hope everyone else on here is doing well and hangin' in there as well!

[Shaker]

Pisces,

 

We lived together for about a year and a half, but had shacked up on and off with other roommates over the course of our relationship (lots of moving due to relocation).

 

I'm working on my nerve to go turn in the keys since he won't be home until late tonight.

 

He just wrote to me again this morning to see how I'm doing, and to see if everything has been moved. He offered to help if there are any leftovers. I didn't respond, but might.

 

Argh! I know. Don't.

[LLammas]

Uh Oh...I'm breaking no contact as we speak. The ex imed me about getting some belongings from his place. I'mnot feeling good about this at all.

[SuperDave71]

LLammas,

 

That is an exception ..you are ok. That is allowed.

 

-SuperDave71

[rsxguy520]

let's see. Day 5..

 

Woke up this morning in sort of a limbo.. kind of weird thinking why the hell did i try to save my relationship with my ex? im so relieve that its over now. ( i always think that every morning when i wake up).everything from the day we end to now makes total sense to me now. you can say i got a better perspective of it. no more b.s. drama. no driving 100 miles to see her. i'm free like a damn bird.

 

anyways. got up, started to * * * * * on eNotalone, then off to the bank. and i swear to you i saw a gorgeous bank teller around my age that made full eye contact with me with a nice little smile. For some odd reason i feel like God is being so nice to me as of late. almost everyday i come accross a really hot girl. It's like i get hurt by my ex, but in return i get all these beautiful girls at me. like no joke. or is it coincedental. i don't know. but today feels nice, the sun is up, the weather feels just about right, which makes my feelings and mood feel good. well i'm supposed to go hang out with one of my good friends back from high school. haven't seen her in awhile. i hope everything goes well for the rest of the day.

[tribecagirl]

WOW! That's awesome! I wish you all the best, really!

[Shaker]

I've dropped off my keys while my ex was away in the least dramatic way possible (ie: on a key hook).

 

So that rounds out day 2, still feeling rotten, still feeling madly in love, still feeling unsure. Stopped eating, sleeping, being able to work. Did all of those things before the move, but now reality is sinking in and I'm a mess.

 

But I'm holding NC.

[SuperDave71]

KEEEEEEEP HOLDING!!!!!

 

 

YOu can do it...

 

 

 

Just keep swimming..Just keep swimming...swimming swimming swimming...

 

 

image removed

 

 

 

 

SuperDave71

[ahhh2jz]

Day 5 for me! just got off school, and i had the strongest urge to call and tell her how my day went and it was the hardest thing not to do... still staying strong though... gonna go eat!

[SuperDave71]

Way to go Ahhhhh2jz!!

 

 

Keep it up!!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[LLammas]

As I poster earlier, I broke NC and talked to the ex today (he wanted me to get some things from his place).

 

Unfortunately the conversation didn't end there, though. I was foolish enough to ask him whether or not he wanted me or the other woman since he's been stringing me along for months. Of course, I got the answer I knew was coming but was not braced for: he wants the other woman.

 

I was so heartbroken I told him to throw out the few things I have there.

 

So, sorry to disappoint SuperDave. I'm going to give this another shot: Day 1.

[SuperDave71]

LLammas,

 

 

I am sorry for your news. I truly am...BUT you can do this. You have your answer. You have NOT disappointed me by ANY MEANS...

 

 

you are only letting YOURSELF down....I know you can do this. I know you can. You have to find the inner strength to move on. I have faith in you and you can do it!!!

 

 

 

Your Friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

[dashbreak]

not joining SD but just wanna say this is a great idea

[SuperDave71]

Thank you so much Dash...

 

 

-SuperDave71

[meantime]

LLammas so sorry you had such a hard day.

[LLammas]

Thanks meantime. And thanks SuperDave. You guys are awesome.

 

It sucks and it hurts, but I think it's going to be a lot easier doing NC from now on...he changed his phone number because the other woman views me as a threat and told him to do so...and yet he still contacted me.

[Shaker]

Llammas,

 

Sorry to hear about the discussion. But your response after finding out his decision was a good one. Leave the ball in his court. And stay strong! I'll be sending happy vibes your way.

[LLammas]

Thanks Shaker. I'm trying to do NC and stick to it. I've made every mistake there is, done all I can do, and now the only thing left is to just give him the space he wants.

[Parsley]

Right, my 3rd day officially on the challenge, 11th day since contact, 13th day since break up.

 

Today has been...I don't really remember today. Last night was the most I've ever been tempted. I wanted so much to text him and tell him how much I missed him, even though I know if he wanted me back I'd say no, there's no doubt about that. Last night was just..so lonely. It was all I could do to stop myself thinking about him holding me as we went to sleep. In the end I watched tv, then listened to comedy until I finally drifted off.

 

Unfortunately, I proceeded to dream about him, as if he were a new partner. It was clearly influenced by what I'd been thinking about before we went to sleep - in the dream we were lying in bed talking and holding each other, then just before I woke up, he kissed me - and it *was* our first kiss.

 

After that I was in a weird mood all day, unable to forget the feeling of the kiss, even though it was in a dream. It made it so difficult to imagine anyone new being as good as him..well him in the beginning, because when we got together and for 3 months afterwards..he was perfect.

 

Have also realised that there's no point in hating him or disliking him for what he did. Sure...it was a really crappy thing for him to do to me, but it will in no way make me feel better, only worse. He wouldn't know that I feel that way, as we are obviously not speaking, and we don't have any mutual friends. He argued with one of the two we had about a month into the relationship, hence alienating both of them from him. I still talk to them, one is one of my best friends. But anyway...he wouldn't know if I hated him, so what is the point? It would just end up hardening my heart to future relationships - unlikely as they seem right now.

 

Have been trying a new technique to remind myself that I am only 18 and have so much time to find someone...even 90 year olds find love! But yeah, anytime I've found myself feeling really depressed and down, I go into the front room and sit and look at it, and imagine my wedding day with my family and bridesmaids getting ready, and my little nephew running around being excitable. Then I imagine sitting there with my husband on the computer with my dad, brother and brother in law, talking about the latest film trailer, whilst me, my mum and my sister watch over our kids. It sounds stupid...but it helps to have all these faceless things. I remember sitting in the same spot seeing my sister in her wedding dress, then a bit pregnant then a little bit more then a baby all of a sudden - so I can relate back to something.

 

Agh...gone on a bit. Got carried away. :S

[Shaker]

Llammas,

 

I don't know that you've made every mistake possible. I had an ex who flew out to see me 3 times in a couple of weeks, sent a few care packages, wrote letter after letter, called and left messages almost daily...this went on for months despite me keeping no contact.

 

That's every mistake.

 

It's been 5 years since, and I still hear from him even though he's married with children.

[comfyshoes]

i'm in! i have no other choice. i've just been dumped by the same woman for the sixth time. she told me this time goodbye meant forever.

i need to find the strength to be able to do the same thing.

i want her back. why? god knows!

but i know for the sake of my mental health, i can't allow that to happen, can't let myself think it's even an option.

 

i need you help guys!

 

so for me, the NC challenge is not about biding time and waiting for her to come back (though it has worked for me before, with her) it's about just counting the days until i no longer care about the woman i would have died for that nearly killed me!

 

wish me luck my friends!

 

shoes

[sandyv]

Comfyshoes: I feel your pain, my ex did the exact same as yours, its terribly unkind and hurt to the soul, and we STILL love them anyways.... it isn't fair...

 

But I say, keep going, put one foot in front of the other one... yeah and move on.... unfair and painful for sure.... but the pain won't last forever

 

 

Sandy

[LLammas]

Shaker: wow, okay, that story has me beat by miles. I'm sorry you had to put up with that kind of craziness from your ex.

 

My ex was telling me, right up until a few days ago, that he thought he might still want to be with me. And I nagged him about it for some fool reason, so he let me go. In the course of my nagging I also called his new gf (and my former friend) a @#&* and cried in front of him a couple times. So he told me he wants me to "leave him alone" (after stringing me along for over a month!) so he can get on with the new girl. Ugh. That's my story in a nutshell.

[Aerozeppelin]

day 4

 

AAARRRGGHHHH frustrated, very frustrated

 

My whole day was going so freakin well until the very last thing I did at work I did wrong and then my new boss made me feel really bad about it, and I didn't cry then and there but as soon as I started walking toward my car I burst into tears and cried all the way home. Even now still have some tears...but I need to let it go. I'm so hard on myself. I've been so hard on myself because of this breakup and now because of one little mistake. I'm just upset b/c I was going to go home feeling like I've had a great day and now I feel like I'm just a screwup.

 

I've been having really intense vivid dreams about him every night since day 1 of the challenge that leave me feeling horrible upon waking up. I guess it's the withdrawl but these damn dreams need to stop.

 

So I better read my training manual cover to cover now. I hate training and being the new girl watching everyone acting all buddy buddy and knowing exactly what they're doing while I struggle and feel like a moron. UGH if I was with my bf I'd see him and he'd hug me and I'd feel better.

 

If anyone actually read all that, thanks for reading my rant and if you relate for God's sake tell me because right now I feel alone.