needingadvice Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 just feeling so weak like what if i never ever see him again after everything. it feels like NC is getting harder before it gets better - i guess this is normal. feel all panicky Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Congratulations all doing the challenge! I have been checking on your progress and I hope you guys had a great week-end. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
Biffy Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Well I haven't had any contact but I did see her today at work, wow... sometimes i see her and feel nothing and other days (like today) it just kills me. Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Hey, I wouldn't go unless I was more than 200% sure I'd be confident about being cool and in control of the situation. If you don't turn up - why should it affect her and why should she care? Maybe you have better things to do - but let your mutual friend know (and don't mention th ex). Being in control of the situation means doing things that make you feel happy and at ease. It means making plans based on your feelings - keep it up with Church - don't let her put you off your faith. Day 13, Seeing her yesterday was horrible. How do you go NC, when you attend the same church? Why does it seem they look more beautiful after the breakup. She came to church late, and seemed to go the extra mile to look good. Anyway, I have a question. There is a going away party for a mutual friend. I really want to attend, but I am pretty certain she will be there. I don't think I can handle seeing her. I would love to go and show that I am O.K, confident, and over her, but I don't know if I can fake that. I am horrible actor. Should I go anyway? Why should I allow her to control my life? Then again, I don't know if I will be strong enough Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Sorry ! Just realised I might have hi-jacked Superdave's thread! I hope everyone is bearing up - just remember that you need NC more than you need your ex. Superdave is totally right - it's time to find yourself again. This time, you are going to see the light at the end of the tunnel as a stronger person. You will love yourself more than anyone else because frankly, you deserve to. Take care! x Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Your fine Mavis....I did this for you guys... I just gave you guys a little challenge...thats all...POST AWAY Mavis!!! ha ha SuperDave71 Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 I have a question. I have to arrange to pick up my things in the next week or so (we lived together and I moved out currently with parents but think I have just found somewhere) How do I go about this? x Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Pisces, In your case, you have to contact your ex. Discuss the exchange of goods and leave. Be nice about it but you are taking care of business only. This is somewhat of an excpection...but TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. Go ahead and make the arragements... -SuperDave71 Link to comment
andreap Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Well, today will be day 4 as far as the challenge but it's actually day 20 and today it's just killing me!! As I mentioned in an earlier post the ex followed me into a shopping plaza last Wednesday and approached me to talk. I was polite...but very blunt...and told him that I really didn't want to talk to him anymore since all we do is go in circles....I wished him a good day...and went into the store....left him standing there mid sentence w/ a stunned look on his face. I suppose part of me figured I would have heard from him by now. I KNOW THAT IS NOT THE REASON FOR NC!! I feel bad for cutting the conversation so short and that I forgot to ask him how his father was doing (his father has been sick over the past few months and I always ask)....that was a huge mistake I made since he caught me off guard by approaching me. By the way, the longest I have ever managed to go NC w/ him was about 5 weeks....and it has ALWAYS been him that broke the NC (yes, I know, it was me who allowed it) This challenge is pushing me to go longer!! This was a great idea especially for the new year! Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 I just sent him a brief text message which said "Can you let me know when it is convenient for me to collect the rest of my things. Thanks" That was it...no begging and pleading (even though I want to inside). He will be difficult now as I ignored his calls this weekend... Link to comment
meantime Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Day three. I woke up feeling sad again and the rain doesn't help much. I fought the urge to text him last night I want to tell him that I still love him but he knows this and I know he loves me too. I keep reminding myself that our future would have been as miserable as our relationship and I only have to mourn the feeling I had with him. I don't have to mourn a lost future because it would have been a tormented one. It doesn't help the pain though, hoping for the first time to do something different which is strict NC. Hope all you guys that are hurting will begin to feel a bit better soon. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 meantime, Stay strong ok? We are here if you need us and y ou are doing the right thing. I promise you. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 I want to do this challenge, but I still have to live with me ex for another week and a half. However, I will try to minimize contact as much as possible without being rude and I WILL NOT talk about relationship stuff again. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Alltornup, You can still do the challenge. Are you still on the couch? -SuperDave71 Link to comment
pilip99 Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Day 4 starts today! I thought about her when I woke up, no urges to call her though, I'm staying strong, even though she texted me yesterday, no signs coming from her of wanting reconciliation yet... so gonna keep this up Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 KEEP GOING pilip99... You are on your way to feeling better...JUST REMEMBER TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOURSELF ok? -SuperDave71 Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Alltornup, You can still do the challenge. Are you still on the couch? -SuperDave71 Yes, I'm still sleeping downstairs (it's actually a queen size mattress on the floor). OK, I will do the challenge in kind of a cramped style. I will not initiate any contact. I will answer contacts in as aloof a manner as possible without being rude. And I will definitely not speak of any relationship issues. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Good Goood... Sounds like a plan. How has she acting toward you the sleep arragements? -SuperDave71 Link to comment
honeyspur Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Day 4 keep feeling really panicky but still dont feel the need to break NC as i know that will make me feel worse. This is genius. Keep this firmly in your mind - it's helping!!! Link to comment
drum4god Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 SuperDave, I am in day 13. I saw her in church, and it was rough. I am going to stick to NC, but what do I do when I run into her in church? It inevitable that I will. There is also a going away party for a mutual friend this Friday. I really want to go, but she will probably be there. I don't think I can handle it. This really blows. I feel like she is still controlling me. I mean I can't even attend a party for a good friend. Its hard. If I don't attend, she is going to know its because of her. UGH! Link to comment
AllTornUp Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 She seems unaffected by it. She did mention that she was up for 2-3hrs in the middle of the night. She couldn't sleep but she blamed it on something else. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 drum4god, You be you that's what. You be as polite and genuine to her as you would anyone. No special treatment and NO NEED to ignore her. Smile at her if ya want. WHy? Because not only are yo a man of God...but becase.. THIS TOO WILL PASS.. I have faith in you.. SuperDave71 Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Yey. Day 2!! Gosh it feels like forever. I have no urges to talk to him at all though, but I feel sort of icky. Not sure what it is. Either way, NC is good. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 Pink, I remember I would stare at the clock thinking time was standing still myself. A typical day seemed like a week. I feel your pain. -SuperDave71 Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Oh I finished throwing out everything of his/ours and deleted his emails/texts/pictures. MAN! does that feel good. &thanks superdave. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts